My Sweet Mistake
by Jensi
Summary: Carli is visiting New York when she meets Eric Northman, leading her into a very tempting situation that could threaten to ruin her life as she knows it.  Can she deny him and keep her life as it is?   ALL HUMAN & Eric with an OC.
1. Falling Into You

I do not own any True Blood characters.

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Carli Adams checked herself in the mirror for a long moment, taking in her platinum blond hair and eyes a deep green with gray specks in them that were the focus on her pale face. She had brought them out today with a smoky eye shadow and heavy mascara, and her full lips just had a nude gloss on them. She sighed and glanced at the clock in her hotel room as she walked out of the bathroom, irritated that she and her band had the day off from the recording studio. She was a workaholic through and through, and she ran a hand quickly through her bobbed hair as she sighed. The guys were out eating gluttonous amounts of food somewhere, but she had woken up too late and they could not wait. Starving guys. She walked to the window and looked over the city slowly, and her eyes narrowed on the clouds drifting in from the water. New York called to her, and she bit her lip as she mused over what to do. Carli smiled and grabbed her Ipod and small purse, slipping her card key inside as she slid her feet into heels and pulled on a thin pea coat. She pulled her door shut behind her as she left, and walked smoothly to the elevator as she heard her Iphone sing one of their songs to her. Her band Linger was working on their second album, and they were becoming rapidly successful based on their first and beginning what bands called the real tours. She answered it, smiling ruefully as she heard her fiancé's low voice on the other end. Ryan was in his own successful band and he was on tour while she was in New York, both of them missing their loft in Chicago. She talked to him softly and slowly on the empty elevator and as she walked on the street, glancing up and down the street as she decided where to go. The wind blew her skirt that fell to just above her knee and she held it as she stood still. Carli leaned back against the building and talked to him, missing his straight black hair tickling her bare skin as he would lay over her during one of the rare times they slept in the same room. She had always supported him in his career and dealt with her bad moments, but it had gotten harder now that she had her own busy schedule going. The phone was their main form of contact, and she hung up as he got called to do a sound check with a long sigh. Carli loved her life as a lead singer, but sometimes she longed for a normal relationship. Being on the road got a bit lonely at times. She tucked the phone into her purse and began to walk down the street, glancing at the windows and the restaurants as she strolled. The buildings towered above her and she gazed up at them in wonder, and she laughed to herself. She lived in Chicago, but there was something about New York that always made her lose her breath.

Carli stopped in a place for some pizza, taking a seat by the window as she watched people walk by as she nibbled. She went back outside and walked towards the shopping district, and glanced up at the sky. It was darkening, and she frowned as she pulled her coat closer around her. She was regretting her silk close fitting tee now, and she gazed ahead as she tried to figure out where to go. She drifted in and out of stores aimlessly, wondering where her friends were as she picked up this and looked at that. She didn't buy anything and walked back out into the street and more into the mass of stores. She was surprised when the huge raindrops fell from the sky, and cursed under her breath as she looked around. There was a softly lit art galley just ahead, and she tried to run through the rain to get to it as her hair began to drip. Carli laughed as she ran through the doors, her high trill and heels echoing through the long room. The people inside glanced up at her and she blushed slowly as she smiled down at the ground. Carli walked slower inside and felt someone grab her arm. "Oh my God! You are Carli from Linger!"

"Hey. How are you?" Carli greeted the two girls in their twenties with a warm smile and a hug as they gushed about the band and the music. Their eyes were star struck and she let the shock of it roll around her mind, just as it always did. She would never get used to being recognized, and she shook her head slowly as they ran off after getting pictures with high giggles. Carli bit her lip and looked around the gallery, taking in the art that hung on the walls that were painted in various warm shades and highlighted with small lights. She walked slowly around and gazed at them, taking in the beauty and the depth as she lost herself in it. Carli felt herself bump right into somebody, and she gasped as huge hands caught her by the shoulders to keep her from falling. She felt the heat from the fingers, and she looked at into a striking face and piercing bright blue eyes and one of the best looking men that she had ever seen.. "I am so sorry." Carli breathed, as her heart jumped into her throat and her muscles between her legs clenched tightly. She blushed and stared at him, and a slow smile passed over his face. He was leaning over her since he was well over six feet and she was only 5'7", and his long blond hair fell into her face and ticked her cheek.

"Just as long as you are alright." His voice was husky and it wrapped around her as he spoke, touching her skin as she shuddered. His eyes darkened as he looked into her face, and she licked her lips nervously. His face was close to hers, and she swallowed the lump in her throat as they both straightened up at the same time, and she saw reluctance pass across his face. "I could not help but overhear your conversation with those girls. You are a singer?"

"Yeah. I am in a band called Linger and we are recording our second album for a couple of weeks." Carli said slowly, losing herself in the depths of his eyes. She felt like she was stammering and she told herself to get a hold of herself. She was a confident performer and she had a fiancé to boot, not a fifteen year old nervous student. She continued to stare at him until the shrill ring of her phone broke her reverie, and she blinked and shook her head. "Excuse me." Carli said, eager to quiet the echoing song in the room. "Hey, Jimmy." It was her drummer telling her to get to the place they were eating pronto. They had run into some guys from a radio show that they had been on before, and were invited for an impromptu visit the following morning. They wanted to see her to see what they were willing to do as a group as far as songs and an interview. Carli got the name of the place and jotted it down on her hand, and then hung up.

"If that was your voice, it is very haunting." The voice near her ear made her tingle, and she turned her head to meet his eyes.

"Thanks." Carli whispered, and his eyes slid over her face and down her body. "I need to be going now." Her last sentence was slow and reluctant, and his eyes mirrored her sentiment as he met them again. He reached down and took her hand, bringing it to his torturously full lips to brush them over the soft skin of it. It shot sparks through her, and she struggled to breath for a moment.

"It was a pleasure. My name is Eric Northman, and you are Carli?" He said his name with confidence and ease, and she memorized it and let it roll around her mind as he still held her hand in his.

"Carli Adams." Her voice cracked a little bit, and she cleared her throat. "Thanks again for the save."

"Anytime." Eric told her, and his eyes showed that he meant it. She felt him let go of her hand, and disappointment shot through her. She dropped her eyes to his lips and then up to his eyes again, and smiled a small smile. "I hope we meet again." Carli stared at him and then slowly walked away, her mind dazed with the feelings rushing through her. Eric had reduced her to a teenager again with her first crush, when that was not like her. She was twenty five, a up and coming singer, and she was marrying another similar artist someday when she had a free moment with him. Carli glanced back to see him still gazing at her, and she felt her legs tremble a bit as she reached the doors of the gallery. Carli pushed open the door to parting clouds and the beginnings of sunshine, and she walked outside and looked around as she took a deep breath of the fresh air. She walked to the curb and hailed a cab, letting him know where she was going. She glanced up to see Eric standing outside, watching her drive away. Carli pressed her hand to the window and watched as the cab pulled forward, and then shook her head. That had been different. Carli arrived at the diner and headed to the table with the six guys gathered around it. She said hi to hers and then greeted the DJ's warmly as she shook their hands. They refreshed her memory on their show, and the group agreed to a long interview and then the acoustic performance of three songs to promote their new album. Carli ordered some lunch and a sweet tea, and enjoyed it as they all chatted. She found a salon down the street after, and abandoned the group for the sake of her hair. They agreed to meet for dinner and then it was an early night for all of them since they were up at six for the radio. Carli finished at the salon and headed to the hotel to change into jeans and a long sleeved tee, since it was getting a bit chilly, and she pulled on the same jacket. Carli met them for dinner with their agent and had a long chat about the album and planning a tour with another band as the opener, and she was pleased with the news that the Warped Tour was also interested in them for the following year. That would be amazing for their career. She went back to the hotel and got into a beater and boy shorts for bed, missing someone beside her. She could not say for certain that it was Ryan completely, as she traced her inner thigh thoughtfully with her hand. The blue eyes of Eric entered her mind, and she could still feel the same way she had when they were so close to each other. She closed her eyes and imagined his lips on hers, on her body. She slid her fingers over the material of the underwear, moaning at the dampness. She gave in and slid them under to her wet folds, stroking herself as she parted her legs wider. She brought herself to release, crying out as she felt it slide roughly through her body.

Carli woke up to the alarm under the covers the next morning to the alarm, blinking as she looked around. She sighed as she remembered the night before, and rolled over to look at the clock. Six o clock. It was dreadful. She jumped into the shower and pulled on jeans and a black hoodie after she did her make up as much as she could at that hour. She brushed her hair, smiling at the blue streaks that evenly ran throughout the bob. They were bright and nearly a turquoise color, and she added some pink lipstick to her full lips. She walked to the floor her band mates were on and they were just coming out with sleepy faces and guitars in the case of two of them. Ant and Danny were the musicians for the day as the regular guitarists while Jimmy and Travis got to sit this performance out. They all took a cab to the XM building, and got past the guard and onto the elevator. They were sleepy and quiet on the long ride and Carli smiled at her best friends. They had known each other since they were all in high school and had formed the band five years before, and were just now getting to be known. They walked down the hallway and one of the producers of the radio show stepped out to greet them. Carli glanced down the hallway as he spoke, and her eyes widened slightly as she saw Eric and a woman pushing a tray the opposite direction she was, and her hands shook slightly. They were led into the large studio and greeted the listeners and the show hosts cheerfully, talking about the album and past tours as well as possible upcoming ones. They all settled around in chairs and got ready to sing, and Carli grinned as the guys started to play. She heard her spot and started to sing, looking around at her band as she did. Movement by the window caught her eye, and she glanced up to see Eric walking by and staring at her with interest in his eyes. She stumbled over the verse and glanced down to get herself back in focus. She kept her eyes averted from the window as she continued the songs, and then smiled widely as the audience clapped.

Carli got up to stretch and saw Eric talking to the woman he had come in with down by a doorway. He glanced at her and his heavy gaze lingered, and the woman glanced at her with a knowing smile as well. She was little and blond, and her eyes lit up when she met Carli's eyes. Carli wondered why she was not acting more jealous having a man as visually stunning as Eric, and she glanced up as someone asked her a question. The two hours ended quickly with the friendly banter and great vibe of the program, and she stepped out first of the group. Her band got stuck talking during their break and she stood in the hallway alone for a moment. "Coffee?" Eric's voice caught her off guard, and she glanced up to see him holding a cardboard cup in his large hands. His hands were so large wrapped around that cup and she pressed her lips together as she felt a surge of desire. "I snuck it out of the meeting for you." His eyes gazed into hers, and then at her hair. "I do like the blue, Carli. It suits you." He gazed at her lips next, and she felt as if he was touching them as his eyes took them hungrily in. "You sounded beautiful in there. They had it on out here and it was rather haunting." He handed her the coffee and she felt his hand brush hers as she looked at him. Sparks shot down her arms and she sucked in her breath.

The voices of her band members sounded as they came out, and Carli tore her gaze away from Eric as she looked at them. They asked her if she wanted to get breakfast and head to the studio, and she nodded as she let her eyes slide back to him. "Thanks." She smiled and sipped the coffee, and he watched her as he nodded slowly. The guys walked towards the elevator and she followed after giving him a long stare. She knew that she was acting foolish, but he captivated her in some strange way. She got on the elevator and Danny glanced at her.

"So how did you get coffee and we didn't?" His voice was mildly annoyed, and she shrugged with a laugh.

"He rescued me from destroying a gallery yesterday in an unfortunate fall. He must have remembered me."

"I would say so. It looked to me like he wanted a thank you fuck to me." Jimmy said, and she glared at him as he laughed. "Get used to it, girlie. The fans are starting to eat you up. Ryan should start getting jealous anytime now."

"Hardly. He is the least jealous person I know." Travis argued, being best friends with her fiancé. "Carli won't fall for that anyway."

"Just a guy." She kept her voice light as they went down to the first floor and then looked around outside for somewhere to eat. They found a crowded diner and ordered, and some fans recognized them and had heard them on the show. The group did some signings and took some pictures and settled in with their meals, and then headed to the studio. The guys finished their instrument work and background singing, and Jimmy told them they would be heading home earlier to see their girlfriends and family while she stayed behind a few extra days to finish her vocal tracks. "You're leaving?" Carli asked him after he told her, and he gazed at her with an odd expression.

"We have done that before." Danny reminded her, and she nodded. "There is plenty of shopping here and you know enough people to get by."

"I know. It just seems lonely this time." Carli sighed, and smiled ruefully. "The loft sounds empty right now."

"You'll be home before you know it." Travis told her, and she met his eyes. He didn't have a girlfriend and she smiled at him.

"Stay with me then. We can do a helicopter tour." Carli suggested, and his eyes seemed to consider it for a moment before he smiled slowly.

"I already made some plans back home. Otherwise I just might." Travis told her, and she pouted and stared at him with big eyes. He gazed with serious ones back, and she let out a laugh.

"Fine. Be that way. I will try and finish up fast." Carli told him, and sipped her soda. They headed in to work and they were indeed done that day, and she hung out in their various rooms as they packed to leave. She went last to Travis's and sat on the bed as he finished up and glanced at her.

"You okay, Car?"

"Yeah. Just hating the busy schedule right now. It'll pass and I will love it again." Carli replied, and he sat behind her. He massaged her shoulders and she closed her eyes as she sighed happily. His fingers pressed hard against her muscles and she let her head fall onto her knees as she pulled them up to her chest. He slid a hand up her neck and she shivered slightly. "That feels too good."

"You're so tense." Travis told her, and she smiled. He leaned in to kiss her hair, and he took a strand between his fingers. "I like the blue, by the way."

"I didn't think you had noticed with all the colors I do." Carli laughed, and he slid his hands up into her hair. The touch was soft and she leaned back against his hand as she enjoyed it. She wondered what it would be like to have Eric's hands tangled in her hair, and she felt her body's reaction at the slight fantasy as she shivered. She then imagined his lips on her neck and she let out a tiny moan as she let her mind wander further.

"Carli?" Travis asked hesitantly, dropping his hand. She turned her head quickly to gaze at him with wide eyes, and his were questioning as he stared back. She felt awkward and she looked forward. She was engaged to his best friend, and here she was fantasizing about a stranger. "Miss Ryan?"

"Yeah." Carli said slowly, and closed her eyes as he kissed her cheek. It was soon time for them to leave and she hugged them all and waved as she faked a smile. Carli went back to her room and shut the door as she sighed, thinking about working alone and hanging out for the next few days. She felt unsettled and she stared out of the window at the evening sky. Carli went to her closet and pulled a hat over her head to hide her hair, and added some fake glassed over her eyes. She was not in the mood for fans tonight. She pulled on a heavy sweater and grabbed her laptop bag and slid her hotel key into the pocket. Carli walked to the coffee shop on the corner and ordered a hot tea and grabbed a small couch in the back corner. She slowly surfed the net and checked her email, slipping into a more melancholy mood. She felt something in the room change, and glanced up from the screen. Eric had walked in alone and was ordering, and she blinked behind the glasses. She could let him be and not draw his attention, but her eyes slowly wandered over his tight black jeans and fitted leather jacket and she felt herself sweating a bit. "I must be really lonely." Carli murmured to herself and shook her head. He happened to glanced around that that moment, and his gaze rested on her slowly as he took her face in. He slowly walked back towards her as she felt her heart beating faster, staring into her eyes.

"May I?" His voice was low as he stood over her, and she could see that he knew it was her with his heated gaze. She nodded slowly, and he sat down slowly, their legs touching due to the small couch. She felt the jolt between them and she stared at him as he raised his hand to pull the glasses off slowly. "Why are you hiding your gorgeous eyes, Carli?"


	2. Deny

I do not own any True Blood characters.

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Carli blinked nervously as her eyes were bare again, and she looked up at him as he seemed to press closer to her. "I just try to be a little incognito sometimes when I want some privacy. I think my hair draws more attention than anything, so leave that on." Her voice was weak as she felt the sparks shoot between their pants where they touched, and he nodded slowly. "How did you know it was me?"

"I saw you looking at me and recognized you despite your best efforts. I could also feel the heat in the room." His eyes darkened as he looked at her, and she swallowed nervously. The couch seemed to shrink, and she moved over as much as she could. He chuckled and she frowned at him, but found herself smiling anyway. "Just relaxing this evening?"

"All alone for the rest of the week. The guys finished their stuff and I just need to do some singing." Carli told him, and then bit her lip. A few days all alone with Eric were very tempting, and she let her mind wander to things she simply should not think about, much less do.

"You sounded really good this morning." Eric told her, his voice close to her ear. She smiled her thanks as she looked sideways at him, and he looked at her. "I heard the whole show since they were playing it in the conference room during set up."

"Why were you there?" Carli asked him, feeling a cold sweat come over her as her muscles clenched tightly and her body grew wet with desire.

"I own a catering business and we do every function for XM and Sirius, as well as several other companies. The woman with me was Pam, and she is my partner in the business." Eric replied, and she nodded. "I was at the gallery scoping it out for an upcoming event as well. I was lucky enough to meet you there."

"Lucky?" Carli asked, thinking that it might be easier if it had not happened.

"Yes. You don't think so?" Eric asked her, and she had to look away from him. "Let me change your mind over dinner tomorrow. I know a great seafood place, if you like that. We can talk and get to know each other some more."

"I don't know, Eric." Carli said hesitantly, and felt his fingers sliding up the back of her neck to her hair above her sweater. She gasped at the touch, realizing how different it was than the one a few hours before with Travis. Her skin danced with fire and she felt him tangle his hand in her hair under the hat as she leaned her head back.

"ON account of your fiance?" Eric asked her, and she whimpered lightly, realizing where she was. "I heard the things you said today and I heard the reluctance in your voice. You don't want to set a date with him, do you?"

"We just have been to busy." Carli defended herself and Ryan as she took a deep breath.

"Tell me that at the end of this week." Eric suggested, and she felt her face turn to look at her without thinking about it. "Dinner tomorrow. Where are you staying?"

"I'll meet you." Carli told him, overwhelmed by her reaction to him. She didn't want to not see him, but the idea of him in her hotel room was too much to take. "What is the place called?"

He told her and she jotted it down as well as the time. They sat together for a bit longer, just talking, and walked out together in the dark night. Eric insisted on driving her to her hotel, and she nodded as she looked down the dark streets. Eric led her to a red corvette with his hand on her lower back firmly, and she looked up at him as he opened the door for her. His eyes locked with hers, and she pressed her lips together as she slid into the car. Eric was making her question her life with Matt, and her willpower, and it frightened her. She looked forward and he got in next to her, and the musky smell of him filled it as she inhaled. Carli told him what hotel, getting a compliment on the high quality of it. She did like it herself. He drove the car swiftly there and pulled up to the curb, and she looked at him. His handsome face was close to hers and he looked good in the lights from the building as he leaned a bit closer. "Would you like me to walk you up?"

Carli felt a wash of moisture pool into her underwear at the idea, and she knew that she was blushing. "I will see you tomorrow. What should I wear?"

Eric looked her up and down and then met her eyes again as he smiled. "A dress. Something for a nicer restaurant, if you have it." He stroked her cheek with his hand and she stared at him. "Something that shows off your incredible legs with some heels." He let his hand trail down her cheek and then traced her neck gently before leaning forward to brush his lips against her cheek as she tried to remember how to breath. "Since we both know it would be easier, I will pick you up. Seven better for you?"

Carli nodded mutely, and he touched her lips with his finger. She mumbled a good night as she got out of the car and walked into the lobby on shaky legs, feeling anxious and angry with herself. Matt was a good man that deserved much better than his fiancée falling apart over some random guy. She knew that she could blame the fact that they were hardly home together and that she had not had any sex other than with her own hand for a few weeks, but is was not a good justification. She could not deny the throbbing between he legs that screamed for Eric to fuck her the way she wanted, and she stumbled into the elevator. She made her way to her room and jumped into the shower, crying out as she masturbated against the wall. She felt like she could not get enough release as she felt another coming on, and the tears slid down her cheeks when she was sitting on her bed wrapped in a towel. She pulled on a tank for bed and stared blankly at the television until she could sleep.

The next day was a full one recording, and she felt her stress easing with every song that she sang. The producer complimented her on her emotion that session, and she smiled weakly as she thanked him. Carli left feeling near confident that she could handle it and that she was overreacting as she hailed a cab back to her hotel. She saw the desk clerk wave at her as she glanced in his direction and he beckoned for her to come over to him. "Yes?" Carli asked, shuffling over to him in her flip flops.

"This package arrived for you, Miss Adams." He produced a silver box with a deep plum ribbon tightly wrapped around it, and she raised one eyebrow.

"Thanks." She smiled and held it in her arms as she walked to the elevator, setting it down once inside. There was a card tucked into the immaculate ribbon, and she pulled it out. _Just in case…Eric. "Of course." Carli murmured, feeling her heart start to race. She hurried to her room and closed the door as she set the box down on the bed. She carefully pulled off the ribbon and lifted the box to see a garment folded up inside. "Holy shit." Carli breathed as she lifted the gray dress out of the box. It reached her mid thigh with a loose silk skirt and the bodice was tight with a slightly plunging neckline and delicate cap sleeves. She stared at it for a long moment and checked the size as an afterthought, nodding with approval as she saw that it was right. She glanced into the box to see a pair of deeper gray heels resting on the side, and she eyed them with a smile. "The man has good taste." She started to feel the gnawing away of her morals and knew that she would insist on paying him, though she was a bit scared of how much that could be. She headed to the shower to quickly wash off and straightened her hair before pulling it into a tight ponytail with a strand hanging down her face. Carli did smoky eyes again and a faintly silver gloss, adding a necklace to the ensemble. The dress looked really good and she could not deny that, The cleavage that showed might be a bit much, though she was not hanging out completely. The thigh high stockings could not be seen by anyone, and the shoes were amazing. She grabbed a small purse and walked down to the lobby as the fear set in. She nearly turned back when she saw him standing against a pillar in a suit, staring at his phone. It was well fitted and sexier than she had ever seen in her life, and she stopped and stared. He slowly lifted his gaze to her and took all of her in with his beautiful blue eyes. She felt the familiar tightening and fluttering, and she gave up the fight as she stepped towards him. _

"_You look beautiful." Eric told her softly, once she was face to face with him. He eyed her up and down again, unashamed as he devoured her with his hungry eyes. _

"_Thanks for the surprise, but I do insist on paying you something." Carli told him, and his eyes seemed angry as he met hers again. "You look really good as well." _

"_You have thanked me enough by gracing this dress with your body. That is all the payment I need." Eric insisted, and she pressed her legs together as she saw the open lust in his eyes. She looked back at the elevator as she considered running away, but he turned her face back to his with a gentle touch of his hand. "Don't run away from me. Let's see how this goes."_

_Carli knew where she wanted it to go, and she stared at him. She nodded slowly and he offered her his arm so they could walk to the car. She knew that she was recognizable in certain circles, so she fought to keep a neutral look on her face. He opened the car door for her again and she stared forward as she slid inside, as well as when he got in. "I really do want to pay you for the dress. It isn't right taking such a gift under the circumstances." Carli told him, and he silenced her with a finger over her lips. _

"_I only knew that you were traveling and might not have anything. Pam selected it once I told her what sizes to look for." Eric told her, and she turned her head to stare at him. "You are very much like her, and the same size. It was easy." Something about the mention of her name stirred Carli's curiosity, and she remembered the knowing look that she had received from her. _

"_Is she someone you are involved with?" Carli asked him, and was met with a chuckle. _

"_She would much rather fuck you than me." Eric told her, and she have him a wide eyed look. "Pam has been into women for a few years now and liked you quite a lot. As did much of the staff on that floor."_

"_What do you mean?" Carli asked him, and he started the car and eased into traffic._

"_You had all of the young interns there hot and bothered. They were saying quite a lot about you everywhere I was." Eric replied, and she blinked. "You're a beautiful and talented woman, Carli."_

"_I am a decent singer and really not that worthy of what you say. "_

"_You need to look closely into the mirror sometime." Eric told her, and his eyes reflected the sincerity of his words. "I was taken by you the moment I saw you, not to mention when I touched you." Carli stared at him, feeling very inadequate at the moment. She, like any other woman, had her moments of insecurity and low self esteem. She almost hated that she was a girl in this business of gorgeous and talented women that towered over her in their talent. Carli was always struggling with what looked good and always strived for more, and she usually felt like she did not measure up. _

"_Good thing I have you fooled." Carli said slowly, and shook her head slightly. She looked out of the window at the water and then up at the Statue of Liberty as they passed it, caught up in it all for a moment. "I love New York." Carli said almost automatically, and smiled._

"_Have you considered relocating?"_

"_No. My home in in Chicago right now, with the band. It would be more traveling than it already is." Carli sighed, and glanced at him in the dim glow of the street lights. "How long have you been here?"_

"_Five years. I moved from Shreveport to start this business with Pam and have never looked back." Eric told her, and she nodded slowly. "I will show you the city during this visit and take you places you might have never been."_

_Carli looked at him and thought that he had already taken her to places she had never been, and crossed her legs together as he met her gaze for a moment. They pulled into a parking lot and she looked at the large building on the water as he parked, and stepped out of the car as he opened her door. She saw his gazed rest on her cleavage as she stood, and she stared at him as he lifted his eyes to hers. They walked to the railing to gaze at the water for a moment, and she stared at the city lights that reflected on it. "So beautiful." _

_Eric slid a hand up and down her back and she felt him press closer to her. "Yes, you are." _

"_You're making me blush." Carli chided him, and he kissed her hair with a hard press of his lips. _

"_What else am I making you do?" His voice was a whisper in her ear, and she jumped visibly. He turned her to face him and she stared into his eyes. "I know that this is wrong. I know that you have a fiancé. I have never pursued someone like I am doing with you with so many odds stacked against me, but I cannot stop." He lowered his face to hers and she found the strength to press against his chest, almost losing it when she touched the muscles under his clothes. "One kiss, Carli." He brushed her lips with his and she found her arms sliding around his neck to keep the contact, feeling her knees weaken and turn to useless much as he pressed her into the railing. He slowly traced her lower lip with his tongue and she met it with her own, and he kissed her again as their heat mingled. His body pressed into hers and she felt his hardness pressing into her thigh as she felt the kiss getting heated. She pulled away with a gasp, and he stared at her with darkening blue eyes. She knew that if they were alone that this could become dangerous, and she slid away from him to give herself some distance. "Should I apologize?"_

"_I can't throw this all on you. I am here, I am wearing this, and I seem to remember kissing you back." Carli said, and felt her stomach growl. "Besides, I am hungry and have not eaten all day. Let's go inside and cool off a bit." _

"_Yes, ma'am." Eric said, and she followed him to the door. He opened it for her and soon they were seated in a corner by the water at a small and intimate table. Candlelight danced across the pristine glass and she looked around to see the though it was crowded, it was also very private. She gazed at him, just a couple of feet away from her, and he seemed to look curiously at her. He gazed at her empty hand and then up at her face. "Where is a ring, if you are indeed engaged?"_

"_We have been to busy to get one, I suppose. It was probably a bit impromptu on his part and I was OK with it that way." Carli replied, feeling stupid for leading him on that day at the gallery probably with no ring. "I used to think I didn't need one to know I was engaged, but now I find myself distracted from that." _

"_By me?" Eric asked, and glanced up as the waiter came to take their drink order. Eric ordered a fine vintage wine, and then glanced at her. "We should make a decision on dinner." They picked up their menus and stared at them, and Carli glanced back and forth between him and the words as she reflected on the kiss. It had stirred up so much heat in her body, and she knew that she was at a weak point right now with him. She realized how hungry she was as she gazed at the choices, and settled on the crab and lobster ravioli with a house salad. The waiter brought their wine and filled their glasses, and they ordered their food, and she looked at him as they were left alone again. She felt the heat again and looked around the building at the people dressed like they were, enjoying their own dinners and conversation in the quiet place. She then looked out of the window to the view she had been enjoying earlier, and rested her head in her hand as she let her thoughts drift. "Carli?" Eric asked, and she looked across the table at him. "Where is your mind right now?" His eyes were curious and she took in his handsome face with her eyes. _

"_I should not have kissed you." Carli's voice was low and she sipped her wine as she savored the taste in her mouth. "I am not available to do so." _

"_You enjoyed it. You certainly returned it." Eric told her, and a blush tinged her pale cheeks. She looked up at him and his gaze was curious._

"_All of that is true, but I cannot continue to do that. I want to enjoy this dinner and this evening, but we should not consider any kind of relationship beyond a friendship." Carli told him, and he smirked at her. "What?"_

"_I can sense how much I get to you, Carli. That is hard to keep denying."_

"_I am leaving in a week. I think that we can control ourselves for that amount of time." Carli argued lightly, and he raised one eyebrow. _

"_We shall see." Eric said, and proceeded to ask her how she grew interested in singing._

"_I have been singing since I could talk, like most kids, but my mom heard something in it and got me into training at a pretty early age. I did alright and the guys and I formed the band five years ago, and here we are." She felt Eric reach under the table and bring her foot over his leg, and he stroked her calf with one finger gently. She shot him a warning look, but could not bring herself to remove her leg. _

"_You seem to work well together as a group. They feed off of your ability, and you theirs. Some bands I have seen at the station seem sloppy and not very put together." Eric told her, and she smiled. "Have you ever slept with any of them?"_

"_Why do you ask?" Carli said in surprise, feeling her cheeks darken again. He kept doing that to her._

"_It must be hard not to when you spend so much time with four males. I just wonder if you have ever crossed the line." Eric said, and she swallowed. "So have you?"_

"_No. The only other guy for me has been a boyfriend before Ryan. I have been with him for five years since the band got together. Travis is his best friend, so anything with the band would be strange to say the least." _

"_I suppose so." Eric told her, and his hand rose to the soft skin behind her knee. "Tell me, are these full or thigh high?" His hand traveled up high enough to find out, and she gasped as his fingers touched her bare skin. He leaned forward and stared at her as he traced her skin gently. "Want to have an orgasm right here and now? I could make you."_

"_No." Carli said, pulling her leg away and straightening her skirt. "Did you hear anything I said?" _

"_I chose to ignore it." Eric told her, and she glared at him. Their plates arrived, and she stared at it instead as her hunger hit her full force. She waited until they were alone again and took a slow bite, smiling as the taste filled her mouth. "I take it you approve?" His look was heated and she glanced at him before staring at her food again. _

"_Very much. I don't eat this well too often." Carli said, and gave him a look that made him smirk._

"_Don't even think of offering to pay." Eric told her smoothly, and she sighed. "Whether or not you end up in my bed, I will buy you dinner tonight. Friends do that."_

"_Friends." Carli repeated, and took another bite. The food alone could allow her a friend like him as she chewed it, and she shook her head slowly. They talked about each other during their slow dinner, and she found herself laughing to many things he said. Eric was direct and intense, but charming and witty as well. She leaned towards him over the table as their plates were removed and he ordered dessert, and she grinned again as they shared the rich chocolate mousse. They finished their wine as they chatted more, and she felt a bit lightheaded as she stood up. "Are you okay to drive?" Carli asked as they reached his car, blinking for a moment as she swayed._

"_I don't think you noticed that you had a glass more than I did. You must have been too nervous about my presence." Eric told her into her ear, sliding his hands around her to hold her. He kissed her neck slowly and teasingly, and pulled her against him. "You smell so good, Carli." She moaned as his lips traced her skin, and slid her hands around to touch his legs as she tried to think. Eric pressed her into the pristine car and she cried out as she felt one hand sliding up her body. _

"_Stop, Eric. We cannot do this." Carli told him, knowing that she was losing control. "I can't do this." _

"_Oh really?" Eric's hand stopped just below her breast and slowly stroked her. "I want you, Carli. I want you in my bed screaming my name."_

"_No. Take me back to my hotel." Carli told him, struggling to get out of his arms. She turned to face him, her face strained and her breath heavy. "Please, Eric. I cannot do this, as much as you get to me."_

"_Fine." Eric told her, and opened her door for her as his face set. They drove quietly, and she stole a few glances at his angry face. He pulled up to the curb sharply, and she took a deep breath._

"_Thank you for dinner. I did have a nice time." Carli tried to offer him something small, but he only glanced at her._

"_Enjoy your remaining stay, Carli. I won't bother you any longer." She stared at him with wide eyes, and he let his gaze trail over her. "I do not see how you deny what you want." His eyes met hers again and she looked at him for a long moment. She didn't want to leave the car, but she finally broke the stare._

"_Good night." Carli told him, and sighed as she got out of the car. She felt regret and a strange sense of loneliness that she had never felt on the road as she walked to her room, longing for reassurance from herself that she had made the right choice. She still didn't have it when she was falling asleep after staring at the television for awhile as she rested against her pillows. "I need to get home." Carli moaned, and closed her eyes._


	3. Contradiction

I do not own any True Blood characters, just my own creations..

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Carli woke up the next morning early and was out of the hotel after a shower to hit the studio for a day of hard work. She sang out her confusion and uncertainty in the ballads that they happened to be working on, and took a break to sip some water as she listened to her stuff so far. She smiled at their producer as he leaned back and listened closely, appreciating his need to pick. It had gotten them a great album the first time around and would the next time, but she needed to focus on that instead of whatever Eric had done to her. Carli headed back in to record a song again, and she closed her eyes and listened to the music in her ears closely. She started to sing it, giving into the feelings that she had written it around when her and Ryan had nearly broken up. At the time, it had been the worst thing in her life yet now she was practically throwing herself at someone she had known for three days. Carli pulled it off and saw a grin from behind the glass and she took a deep breath. They worked into the evening that day and she grabbed something for dinner and relaxed in her hotel and was there the next day as well. She belted songs out just as hard and passionately, and was thankful for lunch when it was brought in by his girlfriend Jess. She smiled as she kissed her boyfriend and sat down next to him and across from Carli. "Hey, girl!" She had deep chocolate hair that was pulled back and stunning blue eyes set in a pale face, and Carli had become instant friends with her immediately. "Slave driver here says you have been working your ass off, so I was wondering if you wanted to hit the city a bit tonight. Just to relax and shake things off a bit."

"I still have a couple pf long days here." Carli mused, and Jess shot her a look. "But it might be a good thing to have some fun. I have not done too much since the guys split."

"Exactly. You can use the time to promote this album too. It is going to be great from what I have heard." Jess told her, and Carli smiled to herself. They agreed that Jess would grab her from the hotel at eight and they would go out for a few hours. Carli finished up for the day, got a light dinner of a salad, and headed to the room. She took a shower and straightened her hair and did her make up with dark greens and yellows and a red gloss. Carli pulled in a short sequined steel gray skirt and a purple tank that was long down her torso and dipped in the front just a little, finishing with thigh highs and the heels from the night with Eric. She might as well enjoy that much about him if nothing g else. Carli got the text from her friend and headed down to the lobby and out of the doors to Jess's red Lexus on the curb, and shook her head as she got in. Jess had her hair in loose curls and her eyes were done with a thick line of black liner and shimmering shadow and she was wearing a red dress that looked amazing on her. Carli smiled at her and Jess glanced at her. "What?"

"You look so gorgeous!"

"Take a look in the mirror, my friend. You have turned into this shining star in the last few years and there is no stopping you now." Jess told her confidently and Carli blushed. She pulled up in front of a bar and the car was whisked away by the valet, and Carli surveyed the crowded front. "It's an opening. I like to scope these out sometimes for future appearances." Jess told her, and Carli nodded. The girls walked to the front where they were let right in based on whatever Jess murmured to the bouncer, and Carli took a good look around. It was crowded enough to be a bit hot, with bodies moving all over the various points of the dance floor as well s gathered at the bar. Carli was recognized quickly, and Jess winked at her as she moved through the crowd to take a good look around. Carli joined a group of girls at the bar and sipped a drink as she talked to them and earned high praises. She loved her fans for their constant support and true appreciation. She was a little freaked out by the star appeal that they doted on her, but she was trying to get used to it as time went on. Carli bought them all a drink and bounced her head to the industrial music that was pumping through the room, and she caught the scent of really good food wafting by. Jess showed up almost immediately with a plate of appetizers and Carli smiled. "Some company is here for the opening. Figured you would be a little hungry." Carli thanked her and they nibbled together as the group they were in grew larger, and Carli took a few photos and signed some random things before her and Jess headed out to dance.

Carli loved to dance and always had. That would have been her pursuit in life had it not been her voice and love of singing outweighing it. She moved easily to the transitioning song as it moved from industrial to retro and moved around the floor. An hour passed and she ran to use the bathroom quickly, downing a couple of drinks to quench her thirst along the way. Carli glanced over as she entered the restroom, seeing a vaguely familiar blond woman in a sexy black dress that was cut low in front and short in the length eyeing her. She could not quite place her and she went inside and did her business, coming out ready to dance some more. Carli looked over again out of curiosity and saw the woman joined by Eric, and her mouth fell open. He was looking at her with a neutral expression, and she stared forward as she went to find Jess. It was Pam and that was why she was familiar. Eric looked as good as ever in black pants and a fitted button up shirt in steel gray as she snuck a peek at him, and she remembered the way his body had felt when she touched it that night. The muscles had rippled under her hands before tensing at her touch, and she felt her composure weakening. She forced her head forward again and skipped onto the dance floor by her friend, singing along to their song as it pumped heavily through the building. Fans looked at her and she high fived them as they all sang together, and the euphoria hit her. She closed her eyes and swayed back and forth, dancing closely with a male fan that she had chatted with at the bar. It was innocent and fun for her, but she felt his desire press against her ass as she moved, and his hands sliding around her hips and beginning to move under the shirt. Carli stumbled and he caught her, and she felt his hot breath on her throat as he pulled her closer against him. He was rock hard under his pants and he pressed it hard into her, and she swept her eyes around the oblivious crowd as she moaned slightly.

"I want you so bad, Carli." His voice was low in her ear, and she felt him start to pull her away. "Come home with me."

Carli turned to face him, and the fantasy ended as she looked into the face of the twenty something with messy hair. He was cute and a great fan and obviously into her, but he was not on the level of what Eric did to her. "I can't. I am engaged and I need to keep it professional with the fans. I really need to pass." He was obviously crushed but she said the words and let it go, and kicked herself for not being able to do that with Eric. She decided to leave him in his pain of rejection for a moment and grabbed another couple of drinks at a quieter bar in the back as she relaxed.

"Is this how you break from your over attentive fans?" A woman's bored sounding voice came from next to her, and she glanced over to see Pam. "I thought you might actually fuck that sweet boy, Carli. He was giving it his all."

"Why is it any business of yours what I do and with whom?" Carli asked her, and was rewarded with a pleased smile on the lovely face. "You're his partner right? Pam?"

"Yes, I am. I have heard an earful about you from Eric, and I can say for sure that he wants to fuck you. Quite hard, from the look in his eyes when your name is brought up. I could always say that he isn't worth the time and that you should allow me to please you, but I am guessing women are not your thing. I have heard that he us stellar in the bedroom as well, so I would be lying if I told you otherwise."

"I turned him away, Pam. It is a mute point." Carli said, and felt a twinge of regret. She stared at her drink and ordered another after downing it. She was beginning to feel the alcohol and she took a deep breath.

"One can always change their mind." Pam reminded her, and Carli raised her eyebrow. "He really has his panties in a bunch over you, sweetie. Let him have you once so he will stop obsessing about it."

"He can have anyone, anywhere. He is gorgeous and he knows that." Carli said, and Pam smiled

"I knew that you appreciated him."

"Of course. I am not blind but that is a far cry from throwing myself at him." Carli said, even though the memory of the kiss led her to the feeling it had given her and the familiar clenching between her legs. She moved them together and took a deep breath as Pam looked her over.

"Stop fighting it. That is my best advice." Pam told her, her blue eyes intent as she stared at Carli. She slid gracefully off of the seat and glided towards the rear of the building, and Carli watched her as she sipped the drink. She turned forward and kept drinking until she was beginning to feel numb, and she got up to step outside for some air. There was a nice outdoor area with lights and tables, and she sat in the far corner. She pulled out her phone and texted Ryan drunkenly, and he responded quickly with something as naughty as she had typed. They went back and forth and she felt herself grow damp as she pictured what was being described in a dark room with Eric, and her breath caught in her throat. Ryan asked her to call him when she was back in her room so they could finish the night, and she agreed and set the phone down as she took a deep breath.

"You are so flushed right now, and I can see your nipples under that shirt. I wish I could take the credit, but I assume it had to do with whatever was happening on your phone." Eric's voice was low and she leaned her head back and took a deep breath.

"I am doing it with the proper person." Carli told him, and he stepped up behind her. He didn't touch her but she still whimpered softly.

"He is not even here to make you come as hard as you need to. He cannot touch your body the way it is begging to be touched right now, can he? What are you going to do? Settle for some average phone sex and rub yourself off later?" Eric asked her, and she sat up straighter. "I saw that little scene on the dance floor, Carli. That guy wanted to take you right then and there, but you se easily turned him away. Did he get you wet at all?"

Carli opened her mouth to respond when she heard Jess's voice. She turned her head to see her friend smiling as she walked over. "Hey, Jess. This is Eric, the caterer. Eric, this is Jess. He saved me from destroying a gallery a few days ago and here we meet again." She had turned to face the table to hide her signs of desire, and forced a friendly smile on her face that went along with the forced laugh.

"Just wanted to make sure you are alright." Jess told her, looking between them. "I am going to head in and dance some more. Join me later."

"I will. Just getting some fresh air." Carli told her, and Jess smiled and walked away. She looked down at the table and heard Eric chuckle.

"I think even she knows that you want me." Eric said, and Carli glared at him.

"Come with me." Eric told her, and she felt him urge her off of the seat with his hand on her lower back. . She grabbed her phone and slid it into her purse as she was led into a dark room by the arm, looking around to make sure no one realized who she was. She found herself pushed onto a table of some sort, and she tried to see around the room. "This is the yet unused office where we are storing our things tonight. Nobody will be back her besides Pam and myself and she is busy working the crowd." His hands slid up the sides of her legs and she jumped. "We can do anything we want back here, lover."

"I don't want to do anything." His hands had reached the bare skin of her thigh and she moved back as he slid one hand up her back and into her hair tightly. He kissed her hard as he held her still, and she struggled against his firm grip. She tried to fight him but found her hands sliding up his chest as he coaxed her lips to part with this tongue. She slid them around his neck and he kissed her deeply as he parted her legs with his body and pressed into her. Carli moaned as she met his tongue in a heated dance, and she felt her body warming and dampening quickly as he hardened firmly against her. She broke the kiss, breathing raggedly as she turned her head. "I cannot do this on a desk in a random office."

"Really?" Eric asked her, sliding a hand up her inner thigh, growling as he felt the slick surface of her desire. He continued under the material of her thong and sliding his finger over her hot folds as she moaned loudly. "So wet." Eric said approvingly, focusing on her clit as she tried to keep from crying out. He circled slowly and then teased it at a faster pace as she let out a ragged moan against his searching lips. He kissed her slowly and deeply, seeming to enjoy the sound of her moans against his mouth as she felt the warmth building inside of her. "Let it go, Carli. Give in to me." he slid a finger inside of her tight body and she threw her head back as he held her around her waist to keep her steady. He pumped it in and out of her and she bucked against him as she finally felt herself spilling over him in a powerful orgasm that she felt through her whole body. Eric drew his finger out and she saw him suck her juices off of it in the dim light from the street light outside. He kissed her and she tasted herself on him and she licked his tongue and mouth slowly as he gripped her ass. "I need to be inside of you." Eric told her, and lowered his mouth to her neck.

"Not here." Carli told him, and he pulled away to stare at her. She was feeling the alcohol and the effects of the much needed orgasm, and she held onto him as she kissed him again. "Take me somewhere, Eric."

They kissed for a long moment, hungrily tasting each other as he pulled her to him and pressed hard against her. "I am going to fuck you hard tonight, Carli. You are going to scream my name with each and every orgasm. You were far too quiet last time." Eric whispered against her, and she slid her hand over his impressive erection. He pressed forward and she stroked him as he groaned and kissed her again. He slid his hands down to try and pull off her thong, but she stopped him with her hand.

"I deserve more than a desk." Carli told him, and he stroked her hair back from her damp face.

"You would not be saying that to try and get away from me, would you?" Eric asked her, and she blinked as she tried to focus on her words. "I do agree that a big bed would be much better, but I don't want to let you get away."

"This is so wrong." Carli mumbled, and pushed him forward as she attempted to slide off of the desk. She ended up falling and twisting her ankle in the heels, and he caught her before she hot the floor. "Ouch." She looked up as he slid his arms around her securely, and kissed her again. She felt him pull her over his lap on the cold floor and she slid over his hardness almost painfully. She was starting to lose track of right from wrong, and he slid his hand over her breast to squeeze it tightly. He pinched her small but hard nipple between his fingers and she cried out as she arched her back.

"Go find a reason to tell your friend that you're leaving, and I will meet you out front." Eric told her, not taking his hand away from her. He kissed her deeply and she held tightly onto him. They stood up after a hungry kiss and she ran a hand through her hair. "See you in a few minutes." Eric told her, kissing her with a brush of his lips as he opened the office door. She clutched her purse and limped slowly out to the main room of the club, checking to see how wrecked she looked in the bathroom mirror first. She looked like she had been dancing all night, which she had been other than the office. She walked out and looked at the dance floor to see Jess dancing with a group of friends, smiling and having a good time. Carli watched her, jealous of her ability to be so carefree. She didn't know whether to be mad at herself, at Eric for getting to her so much, or at Ryan for just being absent. Carli pulled out her phone and texted a quick message to Jess saying that she had injured her ankle and was grabbing a cab home. She ended it by saying to have a great time and hit send as she looked up again. Carli walked forward to the door and out to the sidewalk, and looked around to see Eric leaning against a pristine red corvette. She saw him nod and open the door and she bit her lip as she walked forward, taking off her heels as she ducked into the vehicle. Eric closed the door and got in, driving off smoothly as she leaned back in the comfortable seat. She closed her eyes and felt his hand sliding gently over her leg, soothing her and exciting her all at once. She started to tremble and bit her lip harder as she tried to stop, and felt them stop at a light. "Are you cold?" Eric asked her, and she shook her head slowly.

"Second thoughts, lover?" Eric asked her, and she let out the breath that she was holding. "I think we have already crossed that line that you drew tonight. I can still taste you on my lips. I want you to feel that again tonight, and then again. You do want this too." He took off and she turned her head to look at him, and he glanced at her. His eyes were burning and she slid her hand over his and pulled it up her leg a little higher. "There we go." He stroked her over the damp material of her underwear, and pulled into a parking garage as he drove down a steep hill. He kissed her deeply before opening his door and walking around to her side to open hers. "This is a very private entrance. Your presence here is discreet." They walked into a lit hallway with several doors and he walked to an elevator and pressed the button. When it opened, they got in and he stepped close to her and gazed down at her. "Is that why you didn't end up with that boy on the dance floor? He would not be discreet?"

"He was just a kid, Eric. I mean, he was the same age or so as I am, but I have to be the adult. It would not be discreet and it is messing with the fans to cross that line with them. It is something I learned from the beginning, having started out when I was nineteen." She stared at the wall of the elevator for a long moment. "I think that is possibly why I ended up with Ryan, since it made everything easier for me. It was easy for a pretty long time, but now I am here and so close to being with you."

"Like I said, you already crossed the boundary you attempted to set with me. You came on my fingers, Carli, and we tasted it together." Eric whispered, and leaned down to kiss her. The elevator stopped and they stepped apart, and he glanced out and stepped off. Carli followed and he opened a door, gesturing for her to enter. She stepped in to a large foyer lit by a small lamp on a wall shelf, and she looked around what she guessed was his apartment. Eric closed the door and stepped in front of her, stroking her arms slowly with his fingertips as she lifted her eyes to his.


	4. Bend Me, Break Me

I do not own any True Blood characters. Just my own! Thanks for the adds on my smut.

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Carli met his intense gaze and he pressed her into the wall as he moved closer to her. She gasped as he slid a hand gently into her hair and stroked it behind her ear. The smallest touch sent a shiver down her spine and she stood up to kiss him slowly. He slid his hand around the back of her head to hold her there and slid the other hand around her waist and pulled her closer. She felt his tongue parting her lips and she complied, and she felt him dominating the kiss easily. Dominating her easily, and she struggled to pull away. Eric pushed her hard into the wall and she felt him pressing into her as he cupped her ass and lifted her back into the kiss. She groaned against him, and he pushed harder. Carli managed to pull away and catch her breath, and he lowered his mouth to her neck. She moaned as he seemed to touch her in her deepest places directly just with his lips on her neck, and felt herself being carried somewhere and pulled over him. Their lips met again and she could no longer stop or pull away. She moved over him as she felt him press into her, and he yanked her skirt up and stroked the soft skin that was bare against his fingers. He kissed her neck again, nipping lightly as she cried out and he moved her under him on what she decided was probably a long couch and parted her legs with his as he continued to ravage her neck. Eric pulled up and slid his hands under her shirt, as he sat above her, pushing it so that her breasts were free. He stared at them, cupping one in his large hand as he watched her face. "Why no bra, Carli?"

"I don't truly need one all of the time, and the shirt was a bit heavier than other things I have." Carli gasped as he pinched her nipple with his fingers, and she was painfully aware of the other nipple hardening as his eyes darkened. She moaned heavily as he tightened his grip and threw her head back. Eric let go long enough to yank the shirt off of her and she slid her hands up to pull him down for a kiss. She shook as he brushed her nakedness and his lips brushed hers gently as she shivered. Carli felt so exposed and she turned her head as she let her thought cloud her mind. She could still push him away and run out of the door, still stop what was happening. His lips kissed down to her waiting breast, and she felt her control wavering as he flicked her nipple with his tongue. He drew it into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth, and his groan filled her body as he arched her back to allow him more access. He continued to suck it, kiss it, and lick it and she writhed under him as he moved to the other one that was throbbing for the same attention. She moved her hands to his hair, and he bit gently as she cried out. His hand brushed the dampening panties and she bucked under him as she opened herself further to him.

Carli pushed him back to unbutton his shirt and rip it off of him, and she slid her nails down his bare chest. He pulled her over him and she kissed him deeply as he tangled his hand in her hair painfully. Their skin burned hot as they pressed together and she slid her hand to the button of his pants. He moved down her body and sucked hard on a nipple again, and she struggled to unbutton his pants. He sprung free as she did, and she allowed herself to stroke it as she gasped at the length. Her hand could not help but to slide over it since he was bare under the pants and she played with the wet tip with her thumb. Eric growled and pushed her back onto the couch. He kicked his pants off and stared at her with a challenge in his eyes, and she reached forward and slid down the boxers far enough to allow him to kick those off as well. He reached forward to touch her lips and then pushed her up to the end of the couch so her head was hanging over slightly. He moved to kneel in front of her and she felt his tip in front of her mouth, and she licked it with her tongue. The pre cum was salty, and she opened her mouth wider to allow him to ease it in. She tightened her mouth around it as he found a rhythm and she gasped as he hit deep back in her throat. She choked slightly and he everything but his swollen tip out to look at her. "Too much?" Eric asked her, and she took a breath as she licked him slowly. "I will give you a break, lover." He moved her back to that she was level on the couch, and moved between her legs. He slid down her thigh highs and then thong and she shivered in her near complete nakedness, and he licked her slowly as she moaned. He tasted her eagerly and then teased her clit with his tongue as she cried out with the pleasure, sucking it between his lips and grazing it with his teeth. The pain sent sparks through her body and she tried to grip the couch beside her. He teased it hard and she started to not recognize the sounds coming from her mouth. Just when she was about to scream at him to bring her to orgasm, fingers plunged into her and she bucked against them and threw her head back as it hit her hard again. He returned to teasing her with his tongue after licking her clean and she came against his tongue as he plunged it seep inside of her. "I still have not heard you scream." Eric told her, and she gazed at him with blurry eyes. "Just moans and cries."

Carli took a deep breath, her body and mind reeling from the few moments with him. "I'm sorry?"

"Come into my room, Carli." Eric said, and pulled her up into his arms as he kissed her. If she had not known her own desire, she would then as she tasted herself again. Their lips met hungrily as he unzipped her skirt and let it slide off of her, and she felt like she was too revealed. Her body was his then and she felt like her soul was, and she gasped as she pulled away. "I have never met anyone so willing to give, yet so reluctant at the same time. So scared." He stood up and pulled her into his room, and she stared at the large bed as she tried to fight what was happening in her own body. She wanted him to bring her to screams badly and she wanted to continue what she had started, but the wrongness of it still stuck with her. Her life was pretty much built around her long distance relationship with Ryan and could crumble if it ended, and she was be left with nothing until she could figure things out. She gazed at Eric as he looked down at her and wished she knew if he was worth that, but her trembling body told her he was worth a risk. The way her body was still sending aftershocks told her he was. Her very raw need was telling her that he was, and she walked over to the bed and lay back against the pillows as she looked at him. Eric moved next to her and leaned down to kiss her gently as he stroked her skin. He slid a hand between her legs and brought her to moans again with his fingers and kissed her. "I have wanted you since the moment I touched you that day at the gallery." His words were murmured between kisses on her body, and she arched her back as he ran his tongue over her sensitive nipple. "You are beautiful and your body is as amazing as I thought it would be. " He gently bit again and she slid her hand into his hair as she spread her legs for him to have more access to her to hold him close to her. "I understand your hesitation in this, but you're discretion is safe with me. I just want to feel you wrapped around me as tight as you were around my fingers. I want to give you want you seem to need, and what I know that I need." Carli gripped his hair tightly and he plunged a finger inside of her as she let out a primal cry, and rode against him as she felt him sliding against her insides.

"Fuck me, Eric. I want you inside." Carli pleaded, and she felt him crawl between her legs. She opened her mouth to speak but felt his tip against her, and he entered her slowly. He was big and she had not had any sex in a few weeks, and she gasped and winced as he filled her beyond capacity. He was gentle at first as he moved slowly, but the foreplay caused her to open easily and soon she was lifting her hips to meet him and he began to ride her harder.

"Are you protected at all, Carli?" Eric asked, seemingly as an afterthought.

"The pill." Carli grunted, gripping the comforter below her as she felt him touching the end of her. She began to cry out with every thrust and he hitched one of her legs over his shoulder as he took her even harder. "Oh, god. Harder, Eric. I want you to fuck me deeper." She began to pull him inside of her with her hands on his perfect ass, and he growled as he stopped holding back. His tip slid perfectly against her wetness and soon she felt the explosion coming on inside of her. Carli could not keep it in this time, and she did scream as she flooded over him what seemed like endlessly, thankful for his continued deep thrusts. She screamed his name and praises as it kept going and soon the felt him slow and he spilled inside of her. His cries echoed hers and she dropped her hands from him onto the bed as she recovered. Eric dropped on top of her and they were both quiet for a long time. Carli went from pleasure to a sense of shame as she opened her eyes, realizing that she had fucked someone other than her fiancé. She had let Eric fuck her hard and liked it, and she was ashamed to realize that. Eric turned his head to kiss her skin gently and she closed her eyes again.

"Your tight pussy felt so good." Eric told her, and she felt his damp skin on hers. "I knew you would be good, but I had no idea how much so."

"You tell that to all of the girls." Carli said weakly, and he chuckled.

"Not really. I would be finding a reason to get you out of here otherwise." Eric told her, and slid his hands up her sides. "Are you okay?"

"You were incredible, but it is strange. This night could fuck up my whole life." Carli mused aloud, sliding her hand in his hair unconsciously. "It is weird to realize how everything in your life is tied so closely together and how it could collapse."

"It won't. You are too talented for that to happen." Eric assured her, running a hand over her breast as her breath caught in her throat. The heat hit her at the same time and he felt along her hardened nipple clumsily as she moaned. "I love your nipples. They are so easy to play with." She tightened her hand in his hair and he pinched her as she cried out. "How many times in a night do you like it?"

"I think my limits have changed now." Carli told him, and he lifted his face to suck her into his mouth as she felt him move over her. She parted her legs, ready and eager and he moved to kiss her. "I want you so badly again. I want you inside of me."

"On your knees, Carli." Eric told her, and she felt him roll off of her. She moved to her knees and he pushed her forward as she moaned. His hand lightly smacked her ass and she cried out as he caressed the stinging skin. He moved himself between her legs but not inside, sliding over her wet folds as she groaned. "How bad do you want this?"

"I already begged once." Carli told him, and he gripped her hips tightly. He slid inside of her and she rode against him as he filled her again. They fucked each other harder than the first time and he came with her, both of them screaming this time. She slid forward as the combination of good sex and alcohol filled her with exhaustion, and she felt him beside her with his hand resting on her back. "I should go back to the hotel." Carli murmured, but she knew that he legs would not move. She felt the muscles inside of her still pulsing and aching slightly due to the night, and she sighed as she felt sleep overtaking her.

"Sleep. Sleep beside me." Eric told her, and she felt his lips gentle on her shoulder. She fought the waves of sleep, but soon she was unable to hold her eyes open.

She heard her phone ringing in from far away later and she opened her eyes slowly, not recognizing the deep brown wall that she was facing. She blinked and realized that she was feeling a blanket against her bare skin and that she heard breathing beside her. Her phone continued to sing and she slipped out from the covers and grabbed a piece of clothing from the floor and pulled it over herself. It covered her and she glanced back to see Eric asleep in the bed a few feet away from where she had been, and it hit her.

"Fuck, fuck fuck." Carli whispered as she stepped into the living room and found her purse that she had dropped into the floor in her haste to cheat on her fiancé. "Hello." Carli said, seeing her producer's name on the screen. She glanced at a clock in the kitchen and realized how late it was and blinked. "Oh, shit! I am late!"

"Technically, but another group needs the studio for a couple of hours to work on something. Jess said that you hurt yourself last night so I figured would cut you a break and let you come in about three hours from now. Are you okay?"

"I just twisted my ankle a little. Dancing." Carli told him hastily, and swallowed. "I will be fine and I will see you in a few hours." She hung up and sat on the floor as memories of last night flooded her. She tried to regulate here breathing as she tried to think and she shook her head. "I need to get out of here." Carli found her clothes and pulled them on in a rush, balling up her thong and shoving it into her purse as she frowned. She slid her feet into the heels and checked around for anything she left out there, refusing to go into the bedroom again. Carli stepped into the bathroom and yanked back her hair and almost groaned aloud at her hair. She removed as much as the make up as she could and shoved the thigh highs into her purse as well as an afterthought, and locked the doorknob before pulling it shut slowly. When she got to the street, she realized that the hotel was just a few blocks away and she turned her face down as she limped slightly. Her muscles still ached from the night before, and she remembered the hard sex as she felt herself shake. She could hear her screams echoing in her mind and she wanted to make all of it go away. She tried to tell herself that she was drunk, but not enough if she was remembering it. Carli had been the one that stayed instead of leaving. She saw the entrance to her lobby and hurried inside as she glanced surreptitiously around and hoped she was not recognized. Carli got into the elevator and nearly slid to the floor in relief, but she managed to make it to her room before doing so. Carli let the tears slide down her face when she knew she was alone, and cried for a long time before taking a long shower to do so more. She scrubbed every inch of her skin and got out and dried herself off. Carli ordered some breakfast since she was starving and stared out of the window at the city as she absently ate, and tried to put make up on before she left. It was useless and she yanked back her wavy hair and left to catch a cab to the studio.

Her voice was a bit rough and she could see the look on her producer's face. He called it quits early and she stared at him as she grabbed her things to leave. Jess came in and looked at her with a rueful smile and kissed his cheek. "Sorry babe. We had fun last night and probably overdid it. How is your ankle, Car?"

"Fine." Carli replied, smiling wanly. They set up a time for the next day to hopefully finish up and she got a clear warning to get some rest. "See you then." She felt the sting of tears in her eyes as she left and could already feel her life spiraling. She started back to her hotel and glanced around for something to eat for an early dinner. She grabbed a small pizza and a big bottle of water and went to her room to sit on the bed and eat. She wallowed in her sorrow in a beater and some boy shorts, and sighed when she saw Ryan calling. "Hey."

"Baby? You OK?" Ryan asked her, and she closed her eyes in the dark room. "I never heard back from you last night."

"I ended up twisting my ankle and came home and passed out. I sort of drank too much and kind of screwed up my studio time today." Carli admitted that much, and she remembered the rest with a small shudder.

"It happens, Car." Ryan assured her, and she wanted to cry again. "You're young and you slipped up. You are in New York City and I am sure that Jess suggested going out in the first place."

"You called that right." Carli nearly choked on her words, and he chuckled.

"So sleep tonight, drink loads of water, and go kill tomorrow. You can do it, Car. You're so talented and he knows that." Ryan told her, and a tear slid down her cheek. "I love you. I want to see you so badly. You got me so worked up last night that I had to take care of myself, and it is not the same as being in your tight body." Eric's words came back to her and she almost let out a sob as the guilt slammed into her. "I wish I was there so I could do all of the things I have been thinking about."

"Me too." Carli said in a cracked voice, and heard him sigh.

"You're crying. I'm sorry I am not there to comfort you. It'll be OK." Ryan told her, and she nodded silently. "Get some rest baby and call me if you need to."

"I will, Ryan. Thanks." Carli told him, and blinked her eyes.

"I love you." Ryan told her again, and she sucked her breath in.

"I love you." Carli told him, and they hung up. She let out the cry that she had been holding in the entire time, and set her phone down on the nightstand. She vowed to turn this around and put it behind her. She crawled under the covers, but memories of Eric flooded her mind and she felt herself heating up thinking about him. She could not deny that she had enjoyed it, and she whimpered as she remembered the way he had felt inside of her. Ryan loved her and was such a huge part of her life, but the raw lust was not there with him like it had been last night. It had never been present before like it was last night. "Do the right fucking thing. Just forget it. You were wasted and living in some fantasy world." Carli told herself, and curled into a ball. She slept fitfully and jumped right out of bed at her alarm and showered and was headed to the studio. She brought all of her confusion with her and put it all into the songs and was relieved when she heard that she could be done in two days. She hugged the producer goodbye and left with a smile as she headed for a bite to eat. Carli ended up in a diner, nibbling on a burger and idly writing some songs for the future. She glanced up at the street beside her and noticed a tall figure leaving her hotel. She recognized the slicked back hair immediately and her heart caught in her throat as she stared at Eric. His face was deep in thought and he looked frustrated as he walked down the street, and her mind raced as it wondered what he wanted if he was indeed there for her. Carli watched him until her was out of sight and dropped her head onto the table as she sighed loudly. She needed to get home and away from him as fast as possible, and she felt her body heating up just at the distant sight of him as she closed her eyes.


	5. Regression

I do not own any True Blood characters, just my own. Enjoy!

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Carli finally got up and walked back to the hotel, and changed into a tank and shorts before she curled up in bed. She turned on the television and stared at it blankly as her mind wandered around her situation, and she finally fell asleep in the dim room to late night television. She woke up earlier than her alarm and tossed and turned until it was time to head into the studio. It was her day to start over in the studio and finish up so she could leave New York. Carli grabbed a coffee and a bagel on the way, and forced positive thoughts into her clouded mind as she grabbed a cab. The recording was better that day and she smiled that night when she was told they would wrap up the next day. She was not in the mood to go back and sit alone at the hotel and she only went up to grab her laptop and head over to the coffee shop. It was a bustling evening as she joined the others on the sidewalk dressed in skinny jeans and a plain green hoodie that covered her hair. Carli got into the long line and rolled her eyes at the time it took to get to the front, and finally ordered her hot tea. She was just pulling out her money when a hand thrust forward over hers and ordered a coffee and said that he would pay for both. She jumped visibly and paled as she heard the smooth voice that penetrated her whole body, and she glanced down as the transaction was completed. She stepped away from the counter and he took her arm gently and stopped her from walking away. "How did you know it was me?" Carli asked him, and finally glanced up. His blue eyes looked confused and torn, and they made her body react more than she wanted to.

"I would recognize that gorgeous ass in jeans anytime." Eric told her, and she blushed as she looked off to the side. "Come sit with me, Carli. I want to talk."

"Fine." Eric led her to an empty couch in the very back corner, and she cursed under her breath when she realized that the most private area had to be available to them. He settled on it, forcing her to be touching his legs with hers and she tried to find a way not to. The discomfort level was nearly unbearable for her, as well as the desire that rushed her just being close to him. He smelled like a musky cologne and just himself, and she bit her lip as she inhaled through her nose to take it in. She realized that she was staring at the floor as she felt his eyes burning into her, and she leaned back and set the tea on the small table and looked towards him.

"You just left that morning. You didn't say anything." Eric started talking, and she wrinkled her nose. "Carli, you were not just a one night stand for me. I did not want you to feel like you were." His voice was low enough just for her to hear it, and she blushed as she tried to find the words she needed to say.

"I left because I was late to the studio. I woke up to my phone and had to leave right away, and the situation was a lot to take in as well. I didn't know how to act with you." Carli said softly, and he leaned closer as he rested his head on his elbow. "I still don't."

"I hate that you are this uncomfortable." Eric said, and she unconsciously moved her legs so that she was facing him sideways as she snuck a peek at him. "I have seen you passionate and demanding, and I prefer that so much more." Her heart pounded inside of her louder and louder, and it started to fill her ears as she closed her eyes. She felt him touch her cheek gently and she jumped as her eyes shot back open. He shook his head and moved his hand to the back of her shirt, rubbing her neck gently as she sighed.

"That feels good." Carli told him, and leaned her head forward on the sofa as she resigned herself to the touch. Had it been direct contact, she knew that sparks would be shooting through her body but this seemed innocent enough.

"Tell me what is on your mind." Eric told her, his voice close to her ear.

"That night was wrong. It was wrong to do to you, and to him." Carli said, and he moved to the side of her neck.

"It was bound to happen, Carli. We had that attraction from the moment we met, and it worked out well. You were into it as well. Admit it to me."

"I may have been, but it needs to end there." Carli said, and her voice shook as she remembered it. She could hear her voice begging him again before they made love, and she heard her cries as she took a deep breath. "Oh, God. I screwed up so much doing that."

"It was a natural thing." Eric assured her, and his hand moved to tilt her head so that she was looking into his face. Sparks did shoot through her and he stared at her with heavy eyes as he leaned in to brush her lips with his. "It is still an attraction." He kissed her again and she fought against sliding her hands around his neck and giving in, choosing to turn her head and break the kiss. "Don't. Don't refuse me." Eric told her, and she stared at him as desire hit her full force. She moved towards him on the couch before she could think not to, and she kissed him as she slid her hands up the front of his long sleeved shirt slowly. He slid his hand around her back and she moaned softly against his lips as they both threatened to deepen it together. "Carli." Eric said against her lips in frustration, giving up and kissing her again and taking it to his next level. She tried to push away but she found herself meeting his tongue for a long moment with her own, and her breath was knocked out of her. Her body was hot and she felt the moisture slipping through her, and she gasped as she pulled away. Eric let her pull her lips away, but her kept his arm around her and held her close. "A bit much for here." Eric murmured, and she sighed.

"A bit much anywhere in public." Carli corrected him, and peeked around slowly to see that nobody was paying too much attention to them. She moved away from him and hunched back onto the seat and sipped her tea slowly, and glanced sideways at him. He was looking intently at her and she frowned.

"You are really beautiful." Eric told her, and she saw him glare at the hood. "Finish that and let's get out of here." he leaned closer to her and kissed the material. "I want to get this off of you and play with your hair."

"Where should we go?" Carli asked him, and his eyes were heavy as he met hers.

"I think you know where I want to go, but I will leave the choice to you." Eric told her, and she tilted her head and stared at him. "I just want to spend some time with you. Your time here is limited now?"

"I should be done in a day or two with the album and then I guess it is home again." Carli said, nodding as she bit her lip. She sipped her tea again and looked down, feeling a little bit sad.

"You don't look too happy about going home." Eric told her, and she shook her head slowly.

"It's so complicated now." Carli said slowly, and looked at him. She stood up and he joined her, and they walked outside together. The room had started to close in on her, and she needed some air. "Can we go somewhere for awhile? Somewhere not like in there but not your place or mine?"

"Yes, Carli." Eric told her, and they decided on a movie theatre that was down a few blocks. They talked as they walked, not touching with their skin, but with their glances. She told him about her album and her life as a growing popular singer, and he told her about his busy life in New York. He bought tickets for an independent movie that was showing for them, and they grabbed a small popcorn and a drink before he led her inside by the hand as they each held one of their purchases. Carli felt better and lighter, having talked with him more and laughed with him. Their looks shared between them were still intense, but she felt more comfortable with him as a person instead of him as the virtual stranger that she had slept with a few nights before. Guilt still plagued her, but it was not as heavy. He found seats in the back corner and they settled in, and she leaned back in the seat. He fed her popcorn as she tipped her head back and she tried throwing pieces into his mouth until the lights dimmed for the previews.

Carli felt him move the drink from between them and slide up the arm rest, and she glanced up at him. Her hand slid over to capture his, and he stroked the palm of her small hand as she leaned against him. The heat between them was like a shock, and she stared at him as she searched for his lips in the dark. He met them eagerly and they lost themselves in the long kiss, both hungrily seeking the other's tongue in the darkness. Eric moved his hand under the hood and over her hair, and she moaned as he gripped it tightly. She dropped her hand to his leg, sliding it up his thigh to find him pressing against his jeans and she stroked him gently as his grip on her tightened. They both pulled away, breathless and heated, and she felt him unzip her jacket and slide his hand over her breast gently. She only wore a thin tee and a light cotton bra, and he found her nipples in one pass and gently pressed them between his fingers. She gasped softly as he pinched and teased, and she soon found her fingers tightly around him over the pants. "Eric, we cannot do this here." Carli whispered to him, and he slid his hand under her shirt and touched her bare skin. "Please." He stopped before he found her hard nipples and kissed her gently instead as he pulled her against him. They settled down slowly and Carli found herself enjoying the movie that was ironically chronicling an affair and the ups and downs of it. She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks at the end and looked down as she tried to wipe them without him seeing. She had fed off of his warmth and scent the entire time she was with him, and it fed into her emotions towards the film. He tilted her head up and slid his thumb over her cheek with a warm smile, and she tried to turn away.

"Now I am seeing you." Eric told her, and she met his gaze. "Is this the real you that feels? That cares?" He lowered his lips to hers for a long kiss and she returned it eagerly, and they ended up stumbling out of the theatre last as the lights were on for a long time. He held her hand and looked down at her as they hit the street and she gazed up at him. "Spend the night with me?"

Carli took a deep breath and nodded, scared of the idea that this was now an affair and no longer a night. This was something she could not forget as easily. He smiled at her and guided her back towards his apartment as she hid under the hood, keeping her eyes on the street. It was dark and she was like anyone else walking, only she was walking into a really complicated situation. She glanced up as he opened the door to his lobby and walked inside after glancing at him. They walked to the elevator and he moved close to her as the door closed on them alone. He leaned down and kissed her and she slid her hand through his hair to pull him closer to her. They moved apart as the door opened and he took her hand and led her to his door. He opened it and glanced down at her as she walked in, and he followed and closed and locked the door. "Trapping me here?" Carli asked him, attempting to joke but failing as she glanced down.

"I would never force you to be here. I would hope you want to be here." Eric told her gently, and slid back her hood and stared at her. He unzipped her jacket and slid it off as she looked up at him, and his eyes were warm as he slid his hand against her cheek and back into her hair. "It is hard to believe how beautiful you are sometimes."

"No, you are." Carli told him, and he raised his eyebrow at her. "You really are." She looked into his eyes that shifted into various shades of blue, and his sculpted cheekbones. She gazed at his lips before she slid her arms around his neck and pulled them to hers. He kissed her hungrily and she felt him unbuttoning her jeans, and she pulled away slightly. "Are we already getting naked?"

"I will require that later, but for now just these. I want you to be able to move. These hug your body very closely." Eric told her, sliding them down as she glanced around for open windows. He slid his hands over her legs and then over the high hem of her boy shorts as his eyes darkened with lust. "Come with me." Carli kicked her jeans off and walked with him and he pushed her gently onto the bed and she rested her head on her arms on her stomach as he stroked her over the material of the underwear. "I like the way these fit you." He slid his hand up her back and to her neck, rubbing gently. "You seem to tense."

"Maybe a little." Eric tugged gently on the hem of her shirt and she moved up enough to allow him to pull it off. He started to massage her hard and she moaned as her muscles responded as well as her skin. His fingers burned fire where they touched her and she closed her eyes as she relaxed under his hands. She felt him slide his hands down her body and shuddered as he did, and she turned onto her side to look at him. "Feel better?"

"Thanks. I do." Carli said, eyeing his clothes. "Get naked and join me down here." He slid off his shirt and jeans and she appreciated his lack of anything else as he threw them off the bed. He was hard and ready as he pushed her back and kissed her and he pressed against the material of her boy shorts heavily. They became heated quickly and her bra was over the side of the bed before she knew it and he was kissing her nipples hard. He sucked them and bit them as she cried out, parting her legs further for him to press even closer. She knew that she was drenched and he moved down to lick her as she threw her head back.

"Get on your knees." Eric told her, and she took a moment to find the strength before complying to his request. He asked her to lift up as much as she could and he slid between her legs and licked again, and she bucked against him. He slid the material to the side and sucked her into his mouth as she cried out again, holding her hips firmly. His tongue slid up and over the back of the shorts to her back and she shuddered as he moved slowly. His tongue poked gently and she moved against him as he moved his hands forward. He yanked down her underwear and teased her gently against her wet clit and then probed further with his tongue as he moved back up. Carli moaned and cried out, climaxing as he slid a finger into her and moved it in and out. He teased her clit as he moved her down to the bed, and she turned around so he would not stop. Carli felt surprised at the comfort she felt at what he had done, and she slid her hands down to move against his as she felt herself tensing up again. He replaced his hand with just hers and she looked down at him as he stared at her. "Your turn." She fingered herself, finding a rhythm as he watched and stroked himself and feeling her orgasm approaching. She enjoyed the control and the groans coming from him and she slowly built up to it finally crying out as her body exploded. She pulled her knees closer to her as she gasped through it and then looked at him. His eyes were glazed over as he looked at her and she slid her fingers into her mouth and sucked gently. Eric slid his own fingers over her wet center and tasted her as he closed his eyes, and then moved next to her on his back. He was hard and straight up and he looked at her suggestively. She climbed on him and pressed him down as she slid herself over him. She felt a slight gush just with that contact and she closed her eyes as she shook, and he moved his hands up to cup her breasts hard, making her cry out again. They both felt her dripping down over him and she looked at him as she moved up and positioned him, sliding his tip around her juices. "Get your pussy down there and fuck me." Eric told her with a growl and she stared at him. "Fuck me hard, Carli." She slid over him, and her body took him in slowly as she gasped. She had no clue how she could ever be with anyone else, and even pretend that they made her feel like this. She thrust herself onto him hard and rough and arched her back so he would slide against her walls at the right angle. He gripped her hips and moved her, and she cried out as he threatened to move right through her. The pressure built inside of her and she rode him harder until she screamed his name as she came, enjoying his hands digging into her as he followed. She collapsed on top of him, and he held her close as she breathed deeply.

"I am having an affair." Carli said softly, and felt her eyes smart. "Oh, god. I am a cheater now." She felt Eric stroke her hair and she held him closer as it hit her. "Why me? Why do you want me?"

"I have since I saw you. I saw you go into Starbucks tonight and I wanted to see you, and just feel you again. I don't care that you are involved in this long distance relationship. I am the one that you are with right now and that is all that matters right now." Eric assured her, and she looked at him as she rested her head on his muscled chest. "I want you every night that I can have you, Carli. So until you are not in the city limits anymore, you will be in my bed." Carli stared at him with wide eyes and he pushed her onto her back and parted her legs as he towered above her, sliding his finger up her thigh and into her sensitive folds. She swore that she was still climaxing with all of the muscles contracting, yet she found herself wanting more. She realized that she may always want more, and she reached forward to slide her hand around him and harden him. They made love again after they were both ready, and he drove himself into her as he hitched one leg over his shoulder as best her could and let the other one get pushed to the side with his hard movements. Carli imagined that he would always bring her screaming as she climaxed again and gripped the pillow above her head. She closed her eyes and dimly felt him get up as she let the aftershocks hit her, and then he moved next to her and slid an arm over her stomach.

"You are going to be the death of me." Carli told him, and looked over at him as he moved to kiss her. His mouth was minty and she realized that was why he disappeared. She slid her arms around his neck and rolled against him as they kissed deeply and he slid a hand slowly down her back. "How can you make me feel that way every time?

"I intend you make you feel that way every time. You are quite something yourself though, sweet Carli. I am not doing this all on my own. I….." His words paused against her lips, and she kissed him again lingeringly before asking what he was going to say. "Nothing, Carli. Nothing at all." They kissed until they both fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms. Carli woke up in time to hurry to the hotel to change and head to the studio and she finished that day, hugging everybody there happily. Jess invited her to dinner to celebrate, and Carli checked the clock with quick eyes. She had plans with Eric, but turning down dinner seemed a bit risky and obvious. She accepted with a smile and they all headed out to one of the finest steakhouses in the city. There were six people there, and wine was ordered and appetizers covered the table soon. Carli excused herself to use the restroom and texted Eric to tell him she was running a bit late there, and he returned one asking where she was. She told him and he told her that he would go there and she protested but he ended the texts then. Carli went into a panic and calmed herself down before she returned to the table. She sipped wine and chatted as her eyes constantly roamed the room, and then her plate was set before her. There were a few fans that came up to talk to her throughout the evening, and that made Eric's appearance through the door even more nerve wracking for her. He wore a nice suit and his hair was perfect, and he slowly looked around until their eyes met. Carli felt the blush on her pale cheeks and she glanced down as he walked over to the bar. She continued to talk around the table and look over at him as he settled in with a group.

Jess went into the bathroom, passing the bar along the way, and sat down next to Carli with a wink. "We might both have great men, but no woman can walk by that without noticing." She shot a look in Eric's direction and Carli glanced over and let out a nervous giggle. "He is the epitome of hot." They were talking closely and they both laughed, and Carli felt her skin heat up. She knew just how hot he was, and she tightened deep inside as she thought about it. She glanced up at him to see his blue eyes looking her way, and so did Jess. "Does he know you?"

"I recognize him from somewhere, but I am not sure where. Perhaps he knows the band." Carli said, recognizing the need in his eyes as she looked at him. She looked down and swallowed, sipping her wine with trembling hands. This was getting out of hand. She pretended to be calm as she sat there amongst her friends and she smiled, but it was a relief to get to the bathroom for a moment alone. She took several deep breaths and refreshed her make up and walked out the door with a confidence that crumbled as she saw him leaning against the wall. He combed her black dress with his eyes and then met hers, and she glanced around. "Why are you here?"

"To see you." Eric told her, and she pleaded with him to leave with her eyes. He glanced back to see a long hallway, and pulled her down it as she whispered his name. "You look good in that dress." Eric told her, pressing her against a dark wall at the end and kissing her deeply. He slid his hands down the side of her body and under her skirt, and she gasped against him as he slid his finger under her thong. He found her wet and turned on, and soon she was moaning against him as he brought her to a hard climax. "Think of what I am going to do to you when we are truly alone." Eric whispered, licking his finger slowly before kissing her again. She tasted herself and she met his tongue eagerly as she slid her hand over his erection. "I want you, Carli. Hurry up over there and meet me at my place." He kissed her one last time and led her by the hand until they were in sight of any customers using the restroom, and shot her a sultry glance before disappearing into the men's room. Carla slipped back into the girls room and cleaned up her mess and fixed her hair and face. She thanked the invention of gloss and replaced it once she got back to the table and sipped her wine again. Nobody seemed to notice her long absence and she smiled in relief. The dinner ended after a very long hour of Eric being just across the room from her, eating his own dinner and tempting her as he sat there. She took a few pictures with the group and then grabbed a cab to Eric's apartment. He was not home yet and she leaned against the wall to wait as she got anxious and even angry.

"What took you so long?" Carli asked as he finally strolled down the hallway, and he smirked.

"I remember you being the one that made me wait." Eric reminded her, unlocking his door. "I needed to finish my meal, despite being very hard the remainder of the night. It was terribly uncomfortable." He opened the door and gestured for her to go in first. She did and he grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. She dropped her purse and gasped and he slid his arms around her. "Watching you there as your fans proved their love for you was a huge turn on. I wonder if they know how much you enjoy being fucked, Carli. I am sure they all want the same." Carli moaned as he pressed his hardness into her and she asked to turn around. He moved back enough for her to, and she dropped to her knees as she unbuckled his pants and released it into her face. He pushed it into her mouth and she took every inch as she moaned against him, and he pumped harder. He twitched against her and then came hard, and she gasped at the amount but somehow managed to swallow it all. He dragged her up when he was done and led her by the hand to the bedroom, and pushed her onto the bed. Carli felt his lips on her thighs and she cried out as he slowly licked her, and she felt her raw need overtaking her logic.


	6. Trio

I do not own any True Blood characters, just my own messes. And this chapter…well, it got a bit away from me. But oh well. Here it is.

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Carli woke up the next morning, slowly stretching as she moaned. She felt the hand resting against her hip, and it gripped her tighter as she moved. She felt the ache of her muscles as she stretched, and she winced with a small smile. She felt the arm pulling her closer to the body, and she was pressed against Eric shortly. "Morning." Carli said softly, feeling the hint of guilt that was always there. She wanted to stay away from Eric, but he seemed to draw her to him with some power and she always ended up in bed with him.

"Good morning." Eric said softly into her ear, before kissing the nape of her neck below it. She shuddered and he laughed softly. It went through her body and she took a deep breath. He slid his hand gently over her stomach and up to her breasts and she moaned as her nipples hardened against his fingers. "I think I like you're not working anymore." Eric suggested, pinching slowly as she arched against him. He hardened behind her and she slid her hand behind her to cup him with it. He pinched harder and she cried out as she felt the heat spreading over her body and inside of her, and he nipped at her neck gently. "We went at it pretty hard last night. Are you up to this?"

"Yes. I want you.' Carli breathed through her words, and found herself on her back with him between her legs and his mouth on her nipples. She slid her hands through his hair and pulled him closer as she cried out with the rough bites and sucking, feeling the ache still from the night before. He slid further between her legs as he entered her, lifting himself above her enough to make her look. She watched the line of his body as he thrust in and out of her, and she lifted her eyes to his gaze that was hard on her face. She moaned as he went deeper and harder and soon he was pulling her legs up against his torso as he slammed against her damp thighs, and she screamed weakly as the orgasm hit her and flooded over him. He followed as her muscles contracted and she watched as he fell to his knees and over her stomach, stroking his hair again. Her desire for him seemed endless, and the fought the idea that it was ending very soon. She didn't know anything but him right now and the idea of it being nonexistent made her heart beat faster, and he lifted his head to look at her curiously.

"Shouldn't your heart be slowing?" Eric asked her, and she smiled wanly. "Are you hungry, Carli? I could make something or we could go get something."

"You don't work?" Carli asked, and he kissed her flat stomach gently.

"I took it off, being that it is the last one together." Eric told her, and she looked at him with big eyes.

"Oh." Carli replied, and turned her head to the side. She dropped her hands to the mattress and felt him turn her face towards him. "We can do whatever."

Eric seemed to search her face, and then got up. "I am going to take a shower. Want to join me?" He smiled a very seductive smile and she laughed softly. She did, and he washed her hair slowly and using deep massage, and she pressed against the shower wall and leaned back with a sigh. Once she had conditioner in, she also washed his and then his back. Carli took in his perfect body and traced it with her nails as the soap ran down it. He winced and shot her a look over his shoulder. They finished up somehow without sex and he remained in the bathroom longer than she did, and Carli pulled on the dress from the day before and walked out to her purse. Her phone was ringing and she pulled it out to glance at it curiously. She saw Ryan's name and her heart sank, and she walked out onto the balcony before answering it. The noise of the city soothed her and she stared down as she hit the button. "Hey, you. You're up early."

"Promo stuff, as always." Ryan told her, and she bit her lip. "hey, did you buy your ticket home yet?"

The question hit her hard, and she struggled to speak. "I was actually going to try and find something today. We finished the album yesterday."

"I heard, and I also heard it is going to be really good." Ryan told her, and she thanked him. "I had an alternative option for you before you get that flight."

"What might that be?" Carli asked him, taking a deep breath.

"We'll be there in three days, maybe four. Hang out and come to our show, and then just cruise home on the bus with us. It would give us some time together and the guys said that you don't have anything going on to rush home to." Ryan suggested, and the idea hit her from every angle that it could/ She glanced behind her to see Eric standing silently in the doorway, and she stared at his face for a long moment.

"Yeah. Why not?" Carli agreed, and closed her eyes. She would have a handful of nights left with him, but she would be leaving after that. Was it worth it to drag it out?

"Good, baby. I miss you so much and I want to see you. Hold onto the hotel room and I will take care of that when I get there. I want to have one night alone with you so we can catch up." The idea made her stomach turn and she clutched the railing. How could she pretend that all was normal? She managed a short conversation before he was off to do more radio press, and she hung up and stared out at the city for a long moment.

"I think I have good news, at least a little." Carli told Eric behind her, without even turning around. She knew that he had heard her tell Ryan that she loved him and that she would see him soon.

"And that would be?" Eric asked her, coming up and standing next to her. She could not look at him as she slid her hand nervously along the railing.

"I am here for a few more days, if it means anything." Carli said slowly, and she felt him slide his hand through her damp hair. "Maybe it shouldn't?"

"So we have more time?" Eric asked, and she nodded. "Then what?"

"I leave for home with the band on their bus." Carli said after a long moment, and finally glanced at him. His gaze was steady on her, and she searched his face.

"Is that when you will tell him?" Eric asked her, and she frowned at him. "Perhaps you will just go and pretend this never happened."

"How do I tell him all of this?" Carli asked, and he pulled her close to him. "I have no idea how to hide it." She felt him tilt her head up and he kissed her hard, and she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "We need to hide this. We need to hide this as best we can. It would destroy him."

"I always promised you discretion." Eric reminded her, and she leaned against his chest and took a deep breath. They ended up leaving soon, keeping their appearance casual and carefree as she dashed into the hotel to change into something and meet him at a diner for breakfast. She always sat across from him at meals, and had from the start. She would often kick her foot across his if she could without anyone noticing, and he would caress her as they talked. She never touched him although it grew harder as the days went on. The nights were when she made up for that, and they would spend hours in his bed making love and touching each other. She was counting the moments until they would part, and the last day was there all too soon. She woke up in his room, realizing that one more night would be it. She moved over to hold him and he slid a hand into her hair as she kissed his bare chest.

"Good morning." Carli told him, and closed her eyes. She didn't know what to say to him beyond that, wanting to hide her feelings.

"Hey, beautiful." Eric greeted her, and she inhaled his scent as she tried to memorize it. "What would you like to do today?"

"I don't know." Carli replied, trying to sound casual. She slid her hand down his body and stroked him, meeting his eyes as he gazed at her. "Just hang out anywhere."

He pulled her close to him and kissed her with lingering lips, and she felt the jolt go through her. "I could spend all day here with you. I want to memorize every curve of your body and your taste on my lips."

"Eric." Carli said weakly, and blinked her eyes.

"I am being honest, Carli." Eric told her, and she stared at him as he pressed his body against her. "But we will play this your way. How about lunch today?"

"Okay." Carli agreed, and he dipped his head down to kiss her again. They took a shower and made love as he pressed her against the wall, and she found herself memorizing the feel of him inside of her. She cried out as he thrust deeply and felt herself releasing as she tried to grip his wet skin. He thrust one more time deeply, and she felt him shudder as he came.

"I am doing that many more times today." Eric murmured into her ear, and she slid her arms around him as he kissed her neck. They finished cleaning up and got dressed, and walked separately outside to take separate cabs to a place on the water. She was pleased with the corner table outside alone and they sipped a pitcher of fruity sangria as they nibbled on Mexican food. They chatted casually, but the way she slid her feet into his lap and they way their eyes met showed more. He stroked the tops of her bare feet slowly, and she sipped her drink. She as scared to leave him, and also scared to stay. Her real life was so calm and comfortable, and she knew where she was in it. She laughed at his jokes and nibbled on her food, but she was actually living every moment with him over inside of her mind. They left a few hours later when the pitcher was finished and she was wobbly, and he went inside to pay as she got her things together. When he came back, she stood and slid her feet back into her sandals and stood up on her toes to kiss him firmly on the lips. Carli pulled away to see the curious stare he was giving her, and frowned. "You have never done that before in public. You didn't even think about it. You just did it."

Carli took a quick glance around and blushed. "I suppose I did." She had forgotten herself for just a moment, and it could not happen again. She walked ahead of him, and they went to the street and walked side by side without touching, as always. Eric's phone chimed, and he picked it up and read the text and laughed. "Hmmmm?"

"Pamela is ordering us over for a dinner party tonight." Eric told her, and she bit her lip.

"Maybe you should take a real date, Eric." Carli suggested, and felt his gaze on her. "You deserve to be with someone that can be free with you and actually touch you."

"You did just that back there." Eric told her, and she glanced up at him. "I want to take you. I am sleeping with you right now, and I want to spend the evening with you and do just that at the end of it."

"I don't know if it is a good idea." Carli told him, and looked back down. "Maybe we should just end this early."

"I don't want to end it at all." Eric muttered, and she stopped and stared at him. "I love you, Carli. I want you to stay in this city with me." They were on a semi busy street facing each other, and they looked like any other non involved pair on the street. They didn't look like he was saying what he was saying. Tears filled her eyes and she blinked as she glanced down. She started to walk away by herself and he followed after a moment. "Carli?"

"No. You can't talk like that." She struggled with her words, and refused to look at him. "It was just sex, Eric."

"I see more than that in your eyes." Eric accused her, and she shot a cruel look at him. "I see what I feel." She stumbled as she walked, and he caught her as she nearly tumbled to the ground. He gathered her into his arms, their lips inches apart, and Carli stared at him. He moved to close the distance, and she pulled back roughly. "Fuck, Carli. Don't do this."

She regained her balance and stood up as she glanced around quickly. "I can't, Eric. I have a whole life there and I know that life."

"You don't need to give that up. You can live here and still do all of that, aside from him."

"He is a part of all of it. Don't you see? I have known him as long as the band has been together, and it could all fall apart if I just leave." Carli said, and he glared at her. "You can't love me. It's been….what? A week?"

"It is the beginning of that, then. It is more than just fucking." He stepped closer to her, and she fought the desire to throw herself into his arms and hide in the warmth and the strength of them. She knew that they were on a very public street and she dimly heard the noises around her, but he was the only thing that she could see, or focus on.

"I can't do what I want to do right now." Carli told him simply, and he stared at her. "I can't just be here, with you."

"I know you feel something." Eric told her, moving just in front of her.

"We cannot do this here." Carli told him and looked up at him.

"Always worried about appearances." Eric hissed at her, and she stared at him with wide eyes.

"You got into this knowing what it was all about. I gave you what I could." Carli said, and blinked with the tears that flooded her eyes. "Damn it!" She walked away and looked for a cab, needing to not see his face right now. She threw up her and and got into the cab before she could change her mind, and told him her hotel. Eric did not know here room number and she fled to the emptiness of it and slammed the door. Ryan would be there the next day. Safe Ryan. He had never made her scream the way Eric did, but he knew her inside and out and was there for her. She felt the tears threatening to fall, and she slid to the floor against the wall and cried into her hands. She cried for Eric, and she cried for Ryan, and lastly she cried for herself and her mistake. She knew that a part of her would never fully recover from what Eric had made her feel, but she needed to walk away. Carli felt the tears subsiding, and she got up and took a deep breath. She looked around the room and walked to the window to gaze down at the city, and her phone sang to her. She looked at her purse on the floor and slowly walked over to it. Eric's name flashed across the screen and she made a mental note to erase it by the following day. She made a mental note to cover all of her tracks so Ryan would never know that she had given herself to this affair so completely. She hit ignore and stared at it as it rang again. She texted him and asked him to please stop. He sent back a reply telling her what time the dinner started and the address, and that he really wanted her there. She didn't respond and set the phone on the bed and went to take a very hot shower, standing under the water until it ran cold. This hotel had great hot water. She stepped out and dried off, pulling on a robe and sitting on her bed with her guitar.

Carli strummed and sang, trying to work out her thoughts. She closed her eyes and felt the words as she sang them, and things began to shape in her head. She opened her eyes and looked at the window, and got up and slowly pulled on jeans and a shirt with the same sandals. Carli grabbed her purse and her phone and walked outside, looking around as she walked. She found the sign that she needed and walked in with a smile. Carli was pampered and massaged for a few hours, and also came out of the salon with a fresh pedicure and a manicure. She had her hair coloured a bright red and she shook it as she walked outside, enjoying the change. Blonde had been fun, but three months of any colour was enough. She grabbed a cab to another part of the city and left there with a couple of bags and went back to the hotel. Carli set them down and took a deep breath, pulling stuff out of bags and going into the bathroom.

Carli emerged a half hour later, her make up done in reds and corals and her hair straight against her head. She wore a strapless dress of deep orange that loosened just under her breasts and hung to her mid thigh, teaming it with black heels. She threw a black throw over her shoulders and grabbed a coat for later, and walked out of the hotel. Carli grabbed a cab and told him the address that was on her text and closed her eyes nervously as she drove. She almost did not know what she was doing, but she wanted to see him again. She wanted closure. Fighting on the streets of New York was no ending for anything, and she felt like she had to fix it. She felt the cab stop, and looked up at the big brownstone building that she was parked in front of before getting out and paying him. She stood on the sidewalk a moment before walking inside and informing the doorman her destination, and he pointed her the right way. Carli walked gracefully to the elevator and took it to the tenth floor, and got out as she glanced around. She found the door and stood there, suddenly feeling nervous and cold. The door opened and a couple walked out, and she looked up in surprise as she stood facing Pam. The blond took her in for a moment, her eyes roaming her body and then resting on her face. "New color?" Pam asked, her eyes on the hair.

"Mmmm hmmm." Carli replied, and Pam raised an eyebrow.

"Well, well. Here he was fretting that you would not show. Not only did you show, but you came looking very good." Pam told her, and Carli stared at her. "He will be pleased." She opened the door and gestured for Carli to come in, and she did nervously. She glanced around the large apartment, and her eyes rested on Eric on the balcony far way talking with a woman as he slowly ate. He was listening to her, but seemed distracted in his face. Carli watched him, and Pam looked at her with a curious gaze. "Would you like a drink?"

The words shook Carli back into reality, and she followed Pam to the bar in the corner. She got a cosmo, and rested against the shiny wood for a moment as she took in the room. "This is really nice." Carli finally said, and turned her gaze to Pam. She saw the blond eyeing her breasts that were pressed tight against the material, and saw the hunger in them.

"Thank you. I call it home." Pam said, raising her eyes to Carli's after a moment. "I always have an urge to pull those dresses down just to have a look. I am sure you are lovely underneath. He does not kiss and tell, unfortunately."

"I will have to thank him for that." Carli remarked, gazing at him again. He was stunning in a casual black suit and a blue tie against the black shirt made his face pop. He still had not seen her and she bit her red glossed lip thoughtfully.

"Maybe I will find out for myself." Pam said suggestively, and Carli gazed at her. She has been hot on by women before, but Pam was very honest about it. Carli had never chosen to do it, but she smiled at Pam's effort.

"I suppose we shall see." Carli said, when Eric looked around the room and rested his gaze on her. He looked surprised and he murmured something to the woman and stood up.

"Carli?" Eric asked, his eyes taking in her hair and dress before resting on her face.

"Hello." Carli said softly, meeting his blue eyes as her heart pounded. She wished then that she had not come, and she glanced towards the door.

"Don't leave." Eric told her, and she glanced back at him. "You just look so different." He reached out to touch her hair, and then dropped his hand at the last moment. "Is this what you normally do after a fight on the street?"

"It is what I normally do anytime of the day. I get impulsive, and I was blond for a few months." Carli told him, her eyes hard as she spoke. She refused to give him the satisfaction of thinking she did anything for him.

"But the dress is for me? The nails?" Eric said softly, moving to the spot Pam had been standing in and standing close to her. She picked up on his heat and longed to move close to him, and she looked down. She did think of what he would say about the dress and she did know that he liked red nails from previous conversation, and she felt his eyes pass over her again. She looked up to see them on her breasts and the hungry look that passed through them made her breath catch in her throat. "I wonder if I should apologize for today, but I meant what I told you."

"I know." carli responded, sipping her drink. She finished it and got another, and she and Eric went to the balcony to talk as they looked over the city. She never touched him, but she felt the current between them. They talked of casual things as she sipped drinks and nibbled on a plate of food, and then mingled with other guests. The crowd was not really the kind to know her and she surprised a few of them with what she did for a living. She enjoyed herself as the drinks hit her and the tension eased, and soon the house was emptying out as she leaned back in a chair on the dim balcony. Her head was a bit dizzy and she felt someone sit in front of her as she looked up, and she met Eric's gaze. He pulled her to a cushioned seat and moved in front of her as he stroked her hair back and trailed his hand down her neck. She moaned and stared at him as she leaned into him, and their lips met eagerly. She tasted wine on his lips and she devoured them as she kissed him, and he slid his hands into her hair.

"You feel so good." Eric murmured to her, and she slid closer to him. One hand trailed down to her breasts and she gasped as he pinched one of her hard nipples. Her head spun again and she lost herself as his tongue met hers hungrily. She felt the breeze hit her as he slid down her top, and she opened her eyes widely. "We are all alone, aside from Pam who is inside." Eric assured her, lifting her to move his lips over her sensitive nipples. She cried out as she felt the dull pain of his teeth as he drew them into his mouth and he slid his hand down over her ass. "I was worried I would never touch you again, Carli." Eric murmured, before licking her throbbing nipple again as she moaned. She felt someone behind her, but she forgot to look as he bit her again and she cried out. A hand tugged on her hair and she felt lips on her neck as she struggled. The hand slid down and under her dress, trailing over her bare ass she felt him suck her hard into his mouth. It moved to the front and just over her damp thong, and she bucked against it despite her panic. She was throbbing and tight and she cried out with relief as the finger slid under the material and over her wet clit. Carli felt Eric hold her steady with one hand on her hip and he licked her nipple hard and slow as she cried out with the touch between her legs. The hand in her hair moved around to her free nipple and pinched hard, and she bucked down as she felt the first gush. The finger moved rapidly over her then and she leaned back against Pam as she felt the pressure building inside of her. She cried out hoarsely as she shuddered with her orgasm and the woman slid her finger easily around her wet folds. Eric pulled her close again and she breathed deeply as he kissed her lips and slid his tongue into her mouth. "I want to watch her lick you, and I want to watch you come." Carli shook her head and he kissed her harder. "I will fuck you hard afterwards, carli. You know I love the feeling of your pussy after oral sex." She still had Pam teasing her and she cried out as she slid a finger inside of her. She moved back and spread her legs and Eric spun her around and pulled her against him as Pam removed her thong. Pam let him stroke her and knead her breasts and she moved between her legs, and the first stroke of her tongue made Carli throw her head back and Eric covered her lips with his. He pinched and squeezed and she felt hands part her legs further as Pam sucked her clit into her mouth. Carli pushed against her and cried out as the woman expertly teased her and built up her orgasm. Carli moaned with every flick of her tongue and Eric kissed her as she began to writhe uncontrollably. She felt it hit her all at once, in every nerve ending that she had and flooding her as she cried out. Pam sucked her all the way in to lengthen the sensation and Carli gripped Eric as she slid her arms behind her. She felt one last long lick and she collapsed against him as she took several deep breaths. Pam moved at some point and she felt Eric's tip at her opening, and she cried out as he entered her slowly. He groaned at her tight spasms and she stared at him.

"Eric." Carli moaned, and he stared at her as he thrust himself inside of her. She cried out as she spasmed around him and he thrust deeper and harder, and soon she was holding back from screaming his name. He grunted her name as he finally shuddered and came, and she leaned back as she took a deep breath. The alcohol hit her and she closed her eyes as the world spun and her body tensed and tightened. She held him close as she recovered, and he kissed her lips and her breasts as he moved over her body. She opened her eyes awhile later, and looked around at the sky around them over the tall balcony and she cried out as she sat up. Carli covered herself with the dress and grabbed her thong and Eric gazed curiously at her/ "I have to get out of here."

"What is it?" Eric asked her, and she stared around her. "It is very private here, and nobody saw anything." He stood with her as she stared around her. "Come to my place with me and let's talk." She stared silently at him as he took her hand and walked through the quiet apartment, happy not to have seen Pam. "She had someone ready and waiting, knowing Pam. Carli blinked her eyes and slid her underwear into her purse as she felt the horror hit her. She numbly walked to the car with him and got in, staring forward. Eric touched her face when he got into his side, and she looked at him. "Carli, what is it?"

"I don't know who I am anymore." Carli told him, and shook her head.

"It was just a moment, Carli. You enjoyed it, and you came. That was the real point of it all, and it turned me on more than you know." Eric simplified it for her, and she stared at him.

"I had a fucking threesome on a patio, Eric. More or less." Carli told him, and he gave her a surprised look.

"You seemed into it. You didn't fight it." Eric murmured and she sighed. "You came so hard."

"It felt fine, but it is so complicated and not me. Not me at all." Her voice was dim and she leaned back and curled her arms over her body. He gave up and drove quietly, pulling into his garage. He got out and went to her side, and pulled her out by the hand. She let him and walked slowly with her head down and he unlocked his door and led her in. Carli went to the couch and sat down, and he set his keys down and pulled her to him. She slid into his arms stiffly and he loved to look into her face.

"I love you, Carli. I thought it was turning you on." Eric explained to her, and she stared at him. "I'm losing you. I can see the distance in your eyes, and we were so on tonight."

"It is over anyway, Eric. Whether it is tonight or tomorrow does not matter too/ much." Carli said, and he gripped her face and stared at her.

"I love you. I do not want you to go." She glanced into his eyes and saw that they were shiny, just a little. They were deep blue and emotional and she gave him a puzzled look. Part of her felt passed off to Pam tonight by him, and she was not sure what to make of it.

"But you needed to watch me with someone else tonight." Carli spoke her thoughts slowly, and he stared at her as his eyes shifted to a lighter blue. "I might be acting stupid, but was I not enough?" She shook her head. "It is over anyway. It does not matter."

"Stay with me." Eric told her, and she looked away. He pulled her closer and leaned in to kiss her, and she tried to move away. "I will show you right now that you are enough." He pulled her onto his lap as she struggled, and kissed her again. She tried to struggle but the heat of the kiss got to her and she slid her arms around his neck and met his tongue with her own. She moved up on his lap to unbutton his pants and he slid her dress down her body, and they both moved to take everything off. Eric kissed her and she felt something other than lust in his lips, and he moved to her neck. They made love on the couch as she sat in his lap, but she felt a tenderness that she had not felt on that patio. She rested her head on his chest after, fighting sleep as she struggled to keep her eyelids open. Sleep overtook her and she slumped against him slowly as he stroked her back.


	7. Don't Trace Your Footsteps Back To Me

I do not own any True Blood characters. Let's move on with this mess, shall we?

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Carli woke up in the bed wrapped tightly in Eric's arm the next morning, and she instantly felt the headache when she opened her eyes. She also felt the unsettled stomach and the soreness that will only come from sex. She whispered curses as she tried to move without waking him up, but his arm was firm around her. Carli took a slow breath and moved his arm very slowly, and slid out from under him as she glanced back at him. He looked worried even in his sleep, and she slowly took in his etched face. He was so stunning and she sighed as she stared at him. The time spent with him flashed through her mind, and her face dropped as she ended with the night before. She knew that she had felt good when he was holding her as Pam made her climax, but she had not felt like herself. She had not felt like herself most of the time with him, and had crossed more lines than she could deal with. Carli was so attracted to him, but she could not live that way. She felt the sting in her eyes as she looked around for her dress, and walked out into the living room to pull it off of the floor and over her body. She remembered him saying that he loved her as he held her the night before and the way he had made love to her tenderly on the couch, as his last ditch effort to likely keep her. She grabbed her purse and made sure her stuff was in it, and slung it on her arm. Carli looked around the apartment slowly and then back into the bedroom to look at him for a moment. He moved his arm in his sleep and she widened her eyes as she started to step back. Carli relaxed as he settled back into his sleep and then at his clock, seeing that it was only six in the morning. She saw his phone next to the bed and frowned as she bit her lip. Carli walked over to it and found her number in it, deleting it as she felt tears in her eyes. She set it down quietly and stared at him again. "Goodbye, Eric." Carli walked away and then glanced back as emotion washed through her, shaking her head. "I love you too. I just can't do this." She grabbed her shoes and slid them on as she pulled his locked door closed, going to the elevator and then to the street. It was just sunrise and she glanced around as she slid her big scarf onto her neck and her jacket onto her, and walked down the semi empty street. Carli went into a small store for some Gatorade and ordered breakfast from the hotel as soon as she was in her room. Ryan was arriving that night and she needed to be ready.

Carli nibbled at her fruit and toast and slammed down her Gatorade. It always made her feel better after drinking. She slid into a hot bath, soaking away everything of Eric. She needed every physical trace gone, though she was not sure what to do about the tears running down her face. His words played in her mind. _I love you and I want you to stay with me. She sat up and washed herself off thoroughly, taking a shower to wash her hair afterwards. Carli found it degrading when she closely looked at herself in the mirror for any bruise or mark that might give her away. She saw nothing and she sighed in relief. It would never be spoken of, or known. She walked over to her bed and stared at her phone for a very long time, finally deleting his number. She then set it for later that afternoon so she could get ready for her real life, and crawled under the covers as she cried. She let the guilt hit her full force finally to rid herself of it, and she finally admitted how much she had cared for Eric. She took in her sadness and anger and then tried to cry it all out. _

_She fell asleep somewhere in the midst of it, and woke up with a jolt to her alarm. She looked around as she grabbed her phone, and saw that the light was shining into the cracked curtains. Carli sat up and drank some more juice and took a deep breath. She figured that she could make it through the night. She was meeting Ryan for dinner and she got up and took another shower, curling her hair and doing her make up as she listened to her music on her laptop. She did greens and blues that day to match the deep blue dress that she had chosen, and finished with a gloss. Carli rolled her shoulders back as she took one last look and slid her feet into black flats. Carli grabbed her purse and blinked as sadness hit her again. She would not be staring into Eric's face that night, or feeling his feet rub her calves as they talked. She left the room and walked down to the curb to hail a cab, telling him where the place was. It was Ryan's favorite. She smiled dimly as she saw it and walked inside, looking around. "Hey gorgeous." Carli jumped and turned, and Ryan smiled at her from the bench. His eyes looked relieved and happy to see her, and she walked over and slid over his lap as she hugged him. He was warm and safe, and so Ryan. He was what she knew. She felt him slide his hands into her hair, and laugh. "Red now? Last I heard it was blond and blue." _

"_I like to change it. You know that well." Carli said, and he stared at her with a knowing smile. He drew her close to kiss her, and it was soft and searching. She slid her tongue forward and he met it in surprise, and she felt him slide his hands tighter into her hair. _

"_You have never been into PDA's like that." Ryan told her, and she giggled._

"_I have not seen you for awhile." Carli told him, and he raised his eyebrows at her. "Let's eat and catch up." She moved off of him and they were led to a table as the customers glanced at them. It was a booth and she slid in next to him, and he looked at her for a long moment. _

"_Tired, babe?"_

"_I went to a friend's last night and drank a bit too much. I do so much better working and being on a schedule." Carli admitted to him, leaning against him as she gazed into his dark eyes and trying to feel good about herself. He kissed her lightly and slid a hand over her dress and up her leg casually. They ordered their drinks and dinner and he told her about the tour as she sipped water and leaned back and slid one leg over his. She in turn told him about the album and felt safe in her cocoon. She had been with him five years and friends for even longer, and the band had a lot to thank him for. They ate slowly and took a cab back to the hotel, and he took her hand as they walked to the room. He dropped his bag and looked around the room with a whistle. _

"_Nice place. Good thing I made some money this tour." Ryan teased her, and she smiled at him. He stared at her and she swallowed the lump in her throat as he walked towards her. He took her face into her hands and kissed her, and she slid her arms around his waist slowly as she felt him sliding his tongue into her mouth. She matched his passion and he turned her and pushed her against the wall slowly. He slid his hands under her dress and over her ass, moaning against her lips. "I want to make love to you so bad, Car. I have missed you." They ended up in bed, with their clothes being removed one item at a time. He took all of her in with his lips, and she moaned at the right times and cried out at the others. She asked him to suck harder and use his teeth a little more, and he complied with surprised looks. "What's happened to you? I don't remember this about you."_

"_I have been alone awhile. I want all of you." Carli told him as she created her bed of lies, and he kissed her deeply as his hand trailed up to her parted thighs. She was wet enough, but she had been wetter in her recent past. He could not wait long, and soon he was moving over her and inside of her as she moaned. The first time with him after Eric was difficult, and she faked her first orgasm. She threw herself into it physically, but there was not the screaming climax she had grown used to. But still, it was Ryan. She settled into his arms afterwards in some state of content, but she dreamed of Eric that night. She dreamed of herself on her knees in front of him with his tongue sliding between her legs and over her thong. She felt the moisture sliding down her thigh as he fingered her, and she woke up moaning. _

"_What was all that about?" Ryan asked her sleepily, and she felt the tightness in her body as she pushed him onto his back and crawled between his legs. He groaned as she took him into her mouth, and he hardened quickly as she teased him with her lips. She used gentle teeth and her tongue and soon he was fully erect and she slid over him. She needed to get rid of the throbbing and she rode him hard in the bed, finding the sweet spot as she arched her back. He pinched her nipples as she cried out and she felt the release building inside of her. He slid his hands down to grip her ass and squeeze and she cried out with him as they came together. "The tour bus will be miserable. I can't live without this for that long." _

"_We'll manage." Carli told him, falling over him as she took a deep breath. They fell back to sleep and she woke up to him shaking her. "What?"_

"_Come to the station with us. It's a great show." Ryan urged her, and she looked at the clock to see that it was seven o clock. She groaned aloud._

"_I did my thing with the guys." Carli protested, and he leaned down and kissed her nipples. _

"_It's XM and they do a good show. It is talking, not the in between the music sort of thing. I have spent all morning there before." His hand passed between her legs, and she arched her back. He fingered her gently and she spread them apart and urged him on. "I love seeing you after time apart. I almost forget how beautiful you are, and how sexy." He watched her face closely and she pushed his hand over her clit as she cried out softly. _

"_What time?" Carli breathed, and groaned as he told her an hour. "Fuck me quickly then." Ryan started to move between her legs after he shot her a look of surprise, but she moved to her knees instead and he gripped her hips as he slid inside of her. She bucked against him and he grunted as they found a rhythm, and he came just before her weak orgasm. They moved to the shower and she only had time to throw on jeans and a long sleeved tee, pulling on a hat to hide her wavy mess. She wanted to scream at the mirror since she hated going out sloppy, but she let him take her hand and pull her out of the room. They took a cab to the building and ran inside laughing as they met up with the rest of his band just inside. They hugged and kissed her quickly, and then the teasing began about her lack of make up and what little sleep the two of them must have gotten. They were like her brothers, just as her band was, and Carla rolled her eyes as they got on the elevator. The thought crossed her mind of what they would all think of her if they knew the truth about her time in New York, and she bit her lip thoughtfully. Ryan slid his hand behind her small back and she glanced up into his curious eyes as she jumped slightly. She smiled at him and he kissed her lightly, and she leaned into him. They got off on the same floor she'd been on before, and she glanced around nervously. They walked to a different studio, and she peeked in as the other entered before her. It was three main guys, and a few other scattered about on computers. They were talking about anal sex when the group walked in, and they saw her and shot each other looks as they apologized. _

"_Sorry, pretty girl. We were just expecting the band." One of them seemed earnest in his apology, and she grinned and waved her hand. "Who are you?"_

"_My girl." Ryan answered for her, and they glanced around as the sidelined guys set them up in seats and on couches. "She's cool."_

_They got into the show and started talking to the guys, and Carli was amused that they seemed nervous around her. The subject came back around to her and Ryan told them who she was, and the one that seemed to run the show stared at her. "You are Carli from Linger? I love you guys. I have been bugging my staff to get you on here." She grinned and thanked him, and he tilted his head. "You actually look familiar. Were you here this week?"_

"_I was with the band at another show. My hair was different." Carli told him, indicating the red peeking under that hat. "We would love to come in next time we are in the city." The guy played a few songs of theirs, and she blushed furiously and protested, since this was not about her at all. Ryan laughed and kissed her cheek as he whispered that it was fine, and it came back around to him. They were set up to perform and they looked at each other as they decided. Ryan sang their new hit as well as a couple of others, and then smiled as he asked her to sing one he had written for them to sing together. She blushed again but nodded, and closed her eyes as he began playing it on his acoustic guitar. She remembered when he wrote it about a depression Travis had been going through, and she felt a strong emotion pass through her as he started singing. She found her part and sang with him, and opened her eyes to share a look with him. They finished the song and the hosts clapped for them, telling them how great they sounded together. They had already told her how great she sounded during the songs, and she smiled. They ended up staying the whole show and the talk got back to the same subject that she had walked in on, as well as others. Carli felt her skin burning, as if they knew the things she had done that week. She knew that she could add to the conversation all too well, but she sat back as everyone laughed at the stories of the comic on the show. Carli remained quiet and laughed enough to make them feel like she was listening, but she was thinking about the nights she had spent with Eric. The topic of threesomes came up and she pretended to have to go to the bathroom, escaping the studio slowly enough to seem like she was not running. Carli did go to the bathroom, and her stomach growled as she smelled really good food wafting down the hallway. She thought about breakfast and then stopped walking. It smelled like more than just someone's heated up food in a break room and she glanced around slowly as she started walking. _

_Carli entered the bathroom and disappeared into a stall. She ended up using it for it's intended purposes and then came out as she took a deep breath. She had heard another stall close as she was in hers, and she didn't think much about it as she tried to fix her ruined hair. "Well, well." Pam's voice echoed through the bathroom, and Carli kept her gaze forward as she stiffened. "We heard you on the show. You sounded great, though I think Eric enjoyed it a bit less than I. You sound like you are wrapped up in your old life like a neat little package." Carli swallowed the lump in her throat as she tried to breathe, and Pam stood next to her. "Uncomfortable, Carli? You seemed fine when you came against my tongue the other night."_

"_Why would you bring that up?" Carli whispered, stepping back as she slapped the hat back on her head. "I can barely stand thinking about it."_

"_He is acting the same way. I think he wants to forget that he ever met you right now, and he is fast into the stage of getting ready to fuck anything in sight to get over you." Pam told her, and Carli lifted her gaze to hers with stunned eyes. "Oh, please. You're in there with your fiancé, singing and playing like you never fucked him yourself." She saw Carli's nervous glance around and she smiled slowly. "We're alone. Don't worry." _

"_He told me that he loved me." Carli said, not sure if she meant for Pam to hear it._

"_Bet you wish you would have said it back now." Pam told her, and she saw how the blow hit Carli as she blinked her wet eyes. She stepped closer and brushed her lips against Carli's cheek as she girl stiffened again. "Your pussy tasted wonderful, Carli." She left the bathroom and Carli held onto the sink as she breathed, and then splashed cold water on her face. She left the empty bathroom thanking the stars that she had been blessed with that, and began the walk down to the studio again. She stopped when she saw Eric a few feet past the entrance leaning close to a girl as he smiled his charming smile. She felt like she had been punched, and she stared at him as he took a phone from the girl and tapped some numbers into it. He glanced sideways and his eyes met her stunned gaze, and he coldly gazed at her before giving the blonde his attentions again. Carli let out a very soft whimper and finished walking to the studio, entering to hear talk about her and Ryan's engagement. It occurred to her that it was also playing in the hall, and she smiled a very forced smile as she sat down next to him. Her muscles deep within were clenched and she felt her desire for Eric surging through her at the sight of him, and it balanced out the envy that she was feeling at the moment. She forced herself into the conversation and they discussed a possible wedding date and sang one last song before the show ended. Carli had refused to look up at all and she was relieved to see no sign of Eric or his new girl as they left with the show, having agreed to breakfast. They all headed to a diner, and she ordered a plate and some soda as she needed waking up. She talked about the tours in the works with the guy that seemed to know her band and the upcoming record and she noticed how the comedian gazed at her with interest when Ryan was not looking. She gazed out of the window to see Eric walking with he girl from the hallway, but she could see the pain on his face. She wondered what he must have felt when he saw that she had erased her number and how he must have felt when he woke up alone that morning. She had taken the easy way out, and she watched the girl look up at him with stars in her eyes as they talked. Carli knew all too well the stars she would see after the first orgasm with him, and it hurt. She felt eyes on her, and she glanced at Ryan next to her with a smile as he slid his hand up her neck and into her hair. She remembered when Eric had done that at Starbucks, and her breath caught in her throat. She knew that Ryan was glancing at her again, and she felt the other gazes. She leaned her head back and smiled as she leaned towards him, and he kissed her cheek easily. _

_The two of them headed to the hotel for a nap, and she curled up half naked in his arms. She slept fitfully and woke up to his lips on hers as he kissed her slowly. "I was thinking that we needed to step it up a bit when we were on the show this morning." Ryan murmured against her lips, and she slid his hand up his side. "Let's go shopping. You need a diamond on your finger, Carli." _

"_What" Carli asked, pulling away to gaze at him. _

"_I want to make it official." Ryan said, and she tried to smile. "Let's do that and go to dinner, and spend one last night here before the show tomorrow night and then we begin road life." He kissed her harder, and she felt him roll her onto her back and move over her. "I love you, Carli. I know I don't tell you enough, and I know how much you are alone. But I do love you."_

"_I love you, Ryan." Carli said weakly, and the ebbing desire still pulsed between her legs. She parted her legs and he moved between them as he kissed her deeply and she felt him harden against her. _

"_I don't think we have ever made love this much before in a short period." Ryan murmured, and she slid her arms up his back as she used her nails lightly on his skin._

"_We should have. We have always had such little time together." Carli told him, and he groaned as he pressed into her. She easily persuaded him into making love to her, and he thrust into her as she bent over her. She slung one leg over his shoulder and gasped as he slid over that sweet spot, bringing back the feeling that Eric always gave her. She closed her eyes and pretended it was him inside of her as Ryan's length slid over her again and again, and she cried out as the orgasm hit her hard. Carli remembered the way that she and Ryan had always been before, comfortable and content, but not overly passionate. He choked and came after her, unable to control it with her body spasms tightening around him. _

"_I will buy you as many rings as you want with times like this. Fuck, Carli. You felt good." Ryan told her as he dipped down to kiss her lips gently. _

"_Good. Maybe you'll stay home with me sometimes." Carli told him, and he stared at her. She wondered how harsh her tone had been, and she frowned._

"_Do you hate our life together?" Ryan asked her, and she shook her head._

"_No, no. Of course not. I am just as busy as you lately, Ryan. I get lonely sometimes, but I do love you." Carli stumbled over her words, and he smiled at her. _

"_Good. I worry sometimes. You're so beautiful and I know that others must want you." Ryan said, and she felt her heart begin to pound. He kissed her just above her nipple and then gazed at her. "Listen to your heart."_

"_I reckon you have that effect on me." Carli assured him, and he kissed her deeply as she calmed herself down after a near panic attack. They made it out of bed and hit the streets afterwards, once Carli had talked him into giving her some time. She wore a black dress with stockings and heels, and he pulled her by the hand into Tiffany's first with a slow smile. She took in the finality of it all as she smiled and became dazzled with all of the sparkle, but the guilt still haunted her. They looked at several rings, and Carli picked up one and twisted it between her fingers. Could she do this? She had never been as tempted as she had been with Eric, and that was in five years. Ryan was an amazing person. She glanced up at him and he raised one eyebrow at her as she smiled at him. She slid it onto her finger, and admired the simplicity of the diamond band. He leaned in to kiss her, and the woman helping them confirmed that it was the one and completed the transaction. Ryan dropped to his knees as it was handed back to him, and stared up at her. _

"_Carli, I love you. Will you still do me the honor of being my wife?" His words were sure, and his eyes were emotional. She only saw his love and her security in them, and she smiled. _

"_You know I will." She slid to the floor as well, and they kissed deeply as she hugged him. She would be happy with him, despite the ache that she felt in her heart. She could do this. They stood up after a few moments and he slid the ring onto her finger, and she hugged him again. She didn't feel the tears that girls sometimes felt in her eyes, but she assumed it was different for everybody. She had been surprised and pleased the first proposal, and she would be there again. They caught a cab to a place on the water for an early dinner and Carli realized it was the place she had been to the first time with Eric. She winced for a brief second and walked in with Ryan, and they were soon seated at a table overlooking the water. He stroked her hand across the table as they talked about weddings, and they both wanted small. Her parents and two brothers were in Tennessee and she had little family beyond that, and his family was in England. They had a few friends that would attend, and they discussed options of places. He was happy, and she saw it as she looked into his face. He picked his phone up off the table, and grinned. _

"_The news is out. Guess we were recognized." Ryan told her, and she laughed. They ate dinner and talked about the next few days of the tour, as well as the next day. They would be leaving after the show. She took her last bite and excused herself to use the bathroom. She was coming out as she was lost in thought when she crashed into a figure, and she felt the heat the same instant that she glanced up. _

"_Eric." Carli said in a whisper, as she saw the intense look in his eyes. She started to push past him, but he caught her arm._

"_You never bothered to say goodbye. You just disappeared." His voice was cold, and she glanced at him. _

"_I had to. I have to go, Eric." Carli told him, realizing that they were likely both on dates that night. The idea of him with another woman hurt, and she looked down. She hated the idea of the night ending in his bed, and her body tightened as she gasped. "Why do you do that to me?"_

"_One more time. I want to see you one more time before you go." Eric told her softly, and she met his eyes. "My apartment tomorrow. You can get away?"_

"_We both know what will happen if I go there." Carli told him, and he raised one eyebrow. _

"_Exactly my point." Eric said, and she closed her eyes. _

"_I can try tomorrow." Carli found herself saying, and her eyes widened. Eric handed her his phone and she stared at him. _

"_I need your number. I will send a blank text so you have mine and can contact me." Eric told her, and she reluctantly punched it in. "If I hear nothing, I will know why and it will be deleted." Eric assured her, and she stared at him. Her body dampened between her legs as she imagined him inside of her again, and she winced as her muscles contracted. "If your eyes represent anything, I can see your want." _

"_I'll try." Carli said, turning her face down and walking back to her table slowly. Nobody had heard them speak, so nobody knew. She glanced around to see the blond from the station sitting alone at a table, and she glared at her for a moment. She was very pretty and she looked kind, but Carli didn't want to share him. She looked over at Ryan, who was smiling at her, and sat down as she smiled into his eyes. They finished their dinners, and he led her to the car by the hand as she looked down. She felt Eric's lips on hers, and his hands touching her body. She blinked and looked up as Ryan spoke, and nodded as they reached the main street to catch a cab. They went back to the hotel and turned on a movie, cuddling together as he kissed her. His lips got more intense and she struggled with her thoughts of the following day and the desire flowing through her from the idea, and she met his tongue and slid over his body. Her dress was already off and on the chair, and he unhooked her bra and drew her nipple into his mouth. She cried out as he followed her previous instructions and gently bit it, and his hands slid down and over her ass. _

"_I love you, Carli." Ryan murmured against her, sucking her hard into his mouth. He pressed her onto her back and moved down her body, and she moaned as he kissed her wet thighs. "You're all wet and ready." He licked her and she cried out, longing for a sweet release. He was rough there too, and soon she was flooding his lips as she came. They made love fiercely as he pushed her up and into the pillows, and she pulled him deeper into her as she came close again. She felt him pull her close and kiss her again as they both fought sleep, and she watched him as he slid into peaceful rest first. She heard a beep and she rolled over slowly to look at her phone. There was a blank text and she stared at the familiar number. She cleared the screen, saving the information, and set it down and rested against him again, closing her eyes and she let her thoughts wander. _


	8. Fragile Strength

I do not own any True Blood characters. I just borrow them for my smutty purposes..

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Carli woke up as she felt Ryan moving around, and she opened her eyes to see him walk into the bathroom. She yawned and rolled over, wanting to sleep all day. The previous evening had exhausted her mentally, and she felt her stomach turn as she thought of it. She closed her eyes again and heard the door open. "Hey, Car. We should get packed up soon so we can just take our stuff to the bus before the sound check." Ryan whispered into her ear, kissing her head softly.

"Mmmmmm. I want to sleep." Carli told him, and he snuggled close to her and kissed her neck as he got back under the covers. "Bunk sleep is not like this."

"In more ways than one." Ryan agreed, and she felt his hands move over her. She found it hard to respond, but she gave in and let him make love to her and she faked it for the second time. She wondered if he knew as he shuddered, and fell over her. "Tired, baby? You seem to be less enthused today."

"Probably. I'll be okay though." She got up and started gathering her things, and she found the gray dress in the closet as she started to pull clothes out. She stared at it and Ryan glanced over at her pile of clothes.

"That's a nice dress, Car. Did you buy that here?" Ryan asked, and she froze for a second.

"Yeah. Big sale and I could not resist." Carli replied, remembering the night she wore it. She felt Eric kissing her by the water again and she took a breath. She folded the dress up and added it to her suitcase, and took a shower prior to packing her bathroom stuff. She was trying to decide what to do about Eric, and she could feel how much she wanted him as it coursed through her body. She knew right from wrong, but her body was arguing that point with her and she sighed. She put on some make up and brushed her hair as straight as she could, and piled her stuff on the counter.

"How's it going?" Ryan asked her, and she glanced up. "We can take that and grab some food if you want. We have a couple of hours before the sound check."

It was now or never. "I was actually going to run to a shop before I meet you. There was this dress I liked and I never had a chance to go back." Carli told him, and smiled as she batted her eyelashes. "I promise I will come right after."

"You are such a girl." Ryan told her, but smiled. "I will handle the luggage, me lady. Want room service instead?" They ate breakfast and watched a movie, and he left in time to make it. He kissed her deeply before he left, and she watched the door close as she slid a deep green hoodie over her gray beater. She slid her feet into cons and rested her head in her hands. She stood slowly and grabbed her purse and made sure that she had everything, and walked to the elevator. She pulled the hood over her head as she got on, and stared at the floor. She felt unsettled and raw inside, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. Carli glanced up as the door opened and she walked through the lobby and into the street. She made the walk to Eric's apartment building and glanced around to make sure that she appeared to be just another person on the street. She leaned against the building and pulled out her phone, texting him that she was out front. He responded by telling her that his door was unlocked and to come in, and she slid her phone back into her purse. She walked inside slowly and found the elevator and pushed the button for his floor. She was lost in thought when she heard the other occupant clear their throat and she glanced up to see the door open.

"Sorry." carli muttered an apology and quickly walked off. She glanced at his door and considered just walking away and never coming back. She felt the invisible pull and glanced down as she fought it, but then she was standing in front of it. "Just for closure's sake." Carli promised herself, and walked in as she glanced around. It was quiet, and it seemed to be just Eric there, though she could not see him. She looked around as she shut the door, and frowned.

"I am on the balcony." Eric called out, and she jumped. She walked to the open french door and saw him standing against the railing, facing the city. She noted that it was a nice view and she stood and glanced at him. He was in track shorts and a tight fitting tee, and she could not help but to admire him for a long moment. She knew well what was under the clothes, and her body tightened painfully. He glanced at her with a bland expression and took in the hoodie. "Undercover again, I see. Can you ever really be you?"

"Not without difficulty." Carli replied, and the painful truth hurt her.

"I guess it is worse due to the good news. Pam told me. Congratulations." Eric said in a distant tone, and she stared down at the ground. The mention of Pam made her shudder, and she closed her eyes. She felt his hand on hers, and she opened her eyes and stared at him as he took in her ring with a dismissive glance. "I would have chosen something bigger for you."

"He didn't choose it." Carli said through clenched teeth, as the emotion slammed into her. This was much more difficult than she had thought it would be. She yanked her hand away and crossed her arms together in front of her to get away from the heat that burned through her.

"You chose a ring that means forever when you spent the week with me. How does one do that?" Eric asked her, staring at her. She met his ice blue eyes for a moment and had to look away when she started shaking.

"This was such a mistake. Goodbye, Eric." Carli told him, and turned to leave. He was suddenly in front of her, and she stared up at him. "What?"

"Don't go." He kissed her suddenly and she gasped as she started to push him away. Instead, she found her arms sliding up and around his neck as she pulled herself closer to his eager mouth. He took advantage of her open lips, and their tongues met hungrily as they both fought for control. He slid his hands down to her legs and picked her up, and she wrapped them around his waist as he carried her into his room. She glanced around as he dropped her on the bed, and noticed that his sheets were messy and thrown around. She gave him a look, and he shook his head slowly at her. "Jealous, Carli?"

She sighed and stared forward as he moved next to her and unzipped her hoodie. He yanked it off and she felt his lips on her neck. "Yes." Her words were honest, and she felt him push her back and straddle her as he stared at her.

"You're the one that is leaving with somebody else." Eric reminded her, and leaned down to kiss her. "I didn't come home with my date last night. You were all that I could think about."

"Pam told me you were screwing anything that moves. She said you wanted to get over me fast." Carli said, as he stared at her with dark eyes.

"I heard about what she said to you, and she was reprimanded. I don't think it was right and it made you feel bad. I know you are not comfortable with what happened." Eric said gently, and she frowned. "I do need to get over you, Carli. I love you."

"Let me walk out of here then." Carli told him, and he stared at her painfully. He moved closer to her and kissed her deeply and they got caught up in the heat that flowed between them, and soon she felt the air on her bare stomach as he yanked her shirt off. His hands were unhooking her bra and then she felt him tracing her skin slowly and she stared at him. Her nipples hardened painfully and she moaned as he touched them slowly as he stared intently at them. He lowered his lips to them and she cried out as he grazed the left one with his teeth slowly, sucking it into his mouth. She slid her hands around his head to pull him closer, and she felt his hardness pressing against her leg. He slowly teased her nipples, tenderly but with enough teeth to make Carli want him with every fiber of her being. Her body throbbed and she felt the dampness between her legs as he moved back to her lips eagerly. She lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around him, and he pressed into her as she sucked on his lower lip.

"You drive me crazy, woman." Eric told her in a low voice, and she found the hem of his shirt with her hands. He lifted himself so that she could pull it off and she stared at his muscular torso hungrily. She told him to lay down, and he complied as he watched her in the dimly lit room. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down slowly, revealing her pink silky thong as she slid over him. He was ready to go and she slid over his shorts slowly, moaning as her body responded to the simple touch. She pressed into him and leaned down to kiss his lips, moving down to his neck. She used enough teeth and tongue to make him tense under her, and moved down to his broad chest.

"You're perfect." Carli told him, and gently slid her tongue around his nipple. He groaned and bucked under her, resulting in a shudder from her and a weak cry as she dampened his shorts.

"Yet you don't love me?" Eric breathed, his hands grasping her hips as he felt his shorts get wet.

"I never said that." Carli responded, and continued to kiss him. She moved down his body and tugged his shorts down, finding him hard and ready in her face as she stared at him. She met his eyes as she licked the tip and he groaned as she slowly began to slide it into her mouth. She managed to go down far enough to take him all and she slid up and down with her tight mouth as he gripped her hair tightly. He pulled her closer as he twitched in her mouth, and she eagerly swallowed as he flooded her throat.

Eric flipped her as soon as she was finished and stared at her with changing blue eyes. He removed her thong and then sat between her parted legs and moved his fingers between them as she gasped ad threw her head back. He knew just what to do and she was crying out within a few moments of his expert touch. She bucked against him and threw her head back as she cried out and he smiled as she looked up at him. "You do love me?"

"I just haven't said it." Carli breathed, and he slid down to move his face between her legs. She remembered that morning with Ryan and she started to tell him to stop, but one lick silenced her. She was once again writhing as he licked and sucked, gently using his teeth as he worked her clit in and out of his mouth. She was soon bursting again, and he held her firmly as she screamed his name and let it hit her. She breathed and closed her eyes and moaned through it, and opened her eyes to see him looking at her. He moved to his back and she gazed at him as his eyes pleaded with her.

"I want you on top so I can see your face as you do that again. Then I am going to flip you over and fuck you until it is my turn. Hurry up though. I like you best right afterwards."

She glanced at him and saw that he was ready to go, and she moved clumsily over him and felt him inside of her. She felt him fill her quickly and completely, and she cried out hoarsely as she stretched while she was still feeling the spasms. She felt his hands on her hips and she began to ride him, moving harder against him as she regained her balance. She felt him sliding against her sensitive areas and she cried out as she felt another orgasm building up inside of her. She arched her back slightly and he slid a hand up her slowly to pinch her nipple and cup her breast as she moaned harder. She felt it hit her hard and she moaned, and felt herself flipped to her back somewhere during it. Eric was between her spread legs and she felt him inside of her again, moving harder with each thrust. She continued to feel aftershocks as he did and then he cried out her name and shuddered slightly against her. They collapsed on the bed and she closed her eyes as she breathed deeply.

"I do love you, Eric. I don't know how I am going to walk away from you in a little while, but I would throw everything in my life away if I chose you. Nobody would understand if I did that." Carli said slowly, and looked at him. "You'll forget about me. You'll find some New York girl that will win your heart. I cannot have done that in this short time."

"Yes, you could have." Eric assured her, and she saw pain in his eyes. "It does not happen often, but it did with you."

"I didn't want it to be this way." Carli told him, her eyes pained. "I wanted it to be simple for both of us."

"You would not have done this if it had been simple. It is not in your nature." Eric suggested, and she nodded as she rolled towards him and slid her arm over his stomach as he lay back against his sheets. "I only knew I wanted you that day we met. I didn't know what it would lead to."

"Should I apologize?"

"Not now. Not while you are still here. I might change my mind once I am truly alone again." Eric said slowly, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek as she imagined that. He looked down at her and she blinked as he stared at her. "You really cannot stay?"

"I would lose it all. I would lose everything that I have worked so hard for. I need to focus on that right now. I don't know if you can understand that." Carli tried to explain, and he stared silently at her. "I will never forget you, and I can only imagine there will be a song or two out there about that very fact. I do love you. Eric. I do. I am so scared to live for only that."

"Stop being scared." Eric suggested, and she buried her head into his side as she cried softly. She lay with him until she knew that she had to leave, and they stared at each other after she had cleaned herself up well and dressed again. He had pulled on a new pair of shorts and his eyes accused her as they looked at each other.

"I need to do this." Carli told him, and he crossed his arms as he coldly looked at her. She still felt the sting in her eyes and she blinked as she glanced down. "I am sorry to hurt you. I didn't want this."

"Enjoy your fake life, Carli. Enjoy your fake engagement and probable fake marriage." Eric told her, and she sucked in her breath.

"Goodbye." Carli whispered, turning and walking out of his front door. She hid under the hood and wiped her eyes as the grief hit her. The guilt had made her scream during her orgasms but it was the grief that made the tears slide down her cheeks now. She caught a cab outside and managed to pull herself together by the time she arrived at the venue, and she checked her eyes in the mirror before calling Ryan. They were somehow clear and she erased all of Eric's texts before she made the call, whispering goodbye to him as she did. Ryan came to get her and she hugged him as he pulled her into his arms. He asked about the dress and she stumbled for a moment before she thought of an answer. "It was not there anymore, and the other locations didn't have it either." She let Ryan kiss her cheek as the emptiness filled her slowly again. "So are you all set for tonight?"

Ryan filled her in on he sound check as they walked to the bus, and she pulled on a different pair of jeans and a tee for the show. She walked with them and watched the opener from backstage, and she kissed Ryan as he went out to the screams of his fans. She watched him as he performed with the strong presence that he had going for him, but her mind was only thinking of what she was leaving behind. She smiled sadly as Ryan began the song he had written for her, and sat down on the wood alone as she stared blankly at him. The show ended after what seemed like hours, whereas before they had flown by. They went to the tour bus and she crawled into her bunk after changing into sweat shorts and a tank top. She was alone, saying that she was tired and needed some rest to get back there by herself. She let a tear slide down her face again as she heard the rumble of the engine, knowing that she was leaving New York. She knew that she was leaving Eric.


	9. The Hurt Always Shows

I do not own Eric or Pam or anyone but my own peeps. Enjoy and leave me your thoughts.

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The tour bus was a distraction for Carli, being in the music business herself. She found being with the band comforting when she was with them, but the times when she was alone it would hit her. She missed Eric. She still loved Ryan somehow, but she craved what Eric had given her. She dreamt of him often at night, and was thankful that she mostly slept alone. They were small and it was hard for two people to squeeze into one. She would wake up and calm herself back down afterwards quietly, and often times with tears in her eyes. She watched all of the remaining shows and hung out with the openers as she did, feigning smiles and happiness. She was an officially engaged girl and needed to act the part. She was back in Chicago before she knew it, and Ryan hit the road again for the remaining two weeks of the tour. She met with her own band to plan the Warped Tout, and work out the album release. She was happy and hopeful during those times, but felt alone all over again at night. She had made her choice and had to live with it, and everything in her professional life was on track. She was excited about the upcoming tour and album, and she had been writing a lot of songs for an EP they were considering working on before the tour in six months. It was a short six songs and she had certainly been full of emotion to work on them. She came home to find Ryan in the kitchen cooking, and she smiled and hugged him. He finished the Chicken Marsala and poured some wine and they ate together as they discussed their respective tours. He was excited for her and always the supporter. He always had been even when Linger was just starting out as a band. He always pushed her and the guys, and she smiled as she gazed at him across the pub table. There was a logic to her leaving New York, but it still hurt her a lot. Ryan was eager to make love that night, and she did it with an obligatory vigor since it had been New York with Eric since she had last had sex. It was not what she had there, and it never would be, but Ryan loved her. He always would. She snuggled against his warm chest after they were finished, and let him stroke her hair.

Carli fell into a routine of numbness with Ryan home, waiting for the day that she would wake up and stop longing. She spent a lot of time with her own band as well as him, and continued to write out her feelings. It had always been a comfort for her to do so, and it always seemed to make things seem not as bad. There were many nights out at dinners and gigs that her band did for practice, and she was suddenly very busy with her seemingly full life. Some days New York seemed very far away, and others she thought about it more than she did her own city. There had been no contact from Eric, and she wanted to assume that he was happy. She didn't like the idea of him with someone else, but that was an absurd envy that made no sense to her. She would always brush it off and move on to the next activity, and try to feel good about Ryan and what they had. It was always in the back of her head though, and she continued to wait for it to go away. She and the guys pinned down the songs for the EP, and it only took a couple of days in a local studio to put together. Their album was being released a month before the tour, and the EP would be released the final week of it. Carli had chosen some of the new songs, and she felt the looks that she got from the guys. They were mostly curious, since she had gone a bit more emotional, but they were very pleased with the different sound. It seemed as though it would go over well.

One night, she came home to see Ryan on the couch looking glum. There was one of her notebooks next to him and she glanced at it curiously. They both had several laying around for those impromptu times when they needed to jot things down. "Hey, you. Everything OK?"

"I was reading through this." Ryan said slowly, and she glanced at the cover again. Her heart dropped when she realized it was the one she had been using when she first came home. "Everything is so good, but it is not written about me. It is not written about us." His eyes were pained as he gazed at her. "Carli, what happened to you? There is so much pain in these words."

"You know I write about a variety of stuff. I was watching a lot of movies and whatever else while I was alone. I don't know what inspires one song to the next." carli tried to reassure him, but his eyes seemed empty as he looked at her. She set her stuff down on the counter and sat next to him. "Ryan, don't trip. Everything is fine."

"You smile like it is, but I have seen something in your eyes. I see what these words are saying in your eyes. Carli, who hurt you like this?" Ryan demanded to know, and she felt the pressure in her head as the pain started. Nausea filled her and she looked at the ground.

"Nobody did. I was reading some crazy stuff at the time in my free time and got wrapped up in it. Ryan, you are putting way too much thought into this." Carli said, as she lifted her eyes to meet his slowly. "Baby, we are writers. It goes all over the place. You know that."

The silence from him began ringing in her ears. "Was there someone else, Car? I leave you alone so much and I cannot imagine when it would happen. Am I wrong to leave you alone so much?"

"Of course not. We both have busy lives, Ry. It works for us." Carli told him, and closed her eyes for a second. "Why are you so insecure all of a sudden?"

"I can read between the lines, Carli. When was it?" Ryan demanded, and she jumped as her eyes flew open. "Who was it? Just tell me so I don't sit and wonder like this."

Carli heard the pain in his voice and she shook as she sat there next to him. It was so cold in the room and she leaned forward as she took deep breaths to control her worsening nausea. "Don't do this." Her words were a whisper, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Don't think like this." It had been months since she had been with Eric, and she had just been moving past it a bit. She didn't want to drag out the pain again.

"So was it just a one time thing or a real affair?" Ryan asked her, and she took a deep breath.

"The real deal." carli finally said it, realizing that he could read her too well to believe otherwise. "In New York last time I was there."

"You took my ring when we were there together." Ryan pointed out, and she winced.

"It was over by then." Carli lied a bit to keep from really hurting him, and glanced his way. "I regretted it and I wanted it to work with us. I don't even know how it happened in the first place."

"I do." Ryan said, and she frowned. "We are apart all of the time and things go so fast. I have hidden a one time thing from you for a year, Carli. I was so regretful that I asked you to marry me when I got home." Her eyes reflected her surprise and he glanced at the floor. "I loved you so much but I just got caught up in the moment. I will always be sorry for both doing it as well as never telling you I did in the first place." He looked at her with hard eyes, and she stared back at him as reality hit her. "How do you do it more than once with a person?"

"I was there and….I did love him in a way." Carli admitted, and saw the hurt that she caused with her words. "It was not enough to stay or leave this life, Ryan. I wanted you. "

"Do you miss him? Your words indicate that you do." Ryan told her, and she shrugged.

"It is a painful thing in more ways than one." Carli replied, and they sat there for a few moments. She was drowning in her guilt, but also very surprised by his confession. His impromptu proposal had been so sweet and sincere, and she felt the hurt from what really caused it.

"Do we move past this and work it out?" Ryan asked after several moment, and she closed her eyes. "Do you still love him?"

Carli knew the answer and she took a deep breath. She looked at him and saw that he was looking curiously at her. "I do. I love both of you, and I hate that." Tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped at them as she stood up and walked out onto the balcony for some fresh air. She felt him come up behind her and slide his hands around her waist. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I always was. I just wanted things to be right, and you are my life as well as the band."

"I could look past it if it was a one night stand." Ryan said, and she nodded. "If you still have feelings for him, then I don't think we should go ahead with the wedding." Carli wiped her eyes again as she realized that her life was unraveling before her, and she slid her hands over his. "Stay here until you go on the tour and then we can sort out the living situation. It is only a couple of weeks away."

"Okay." Carli told him, and turned around to face him. "I don't not want to be friends. You mean the world to me and the band will kill me if you aren't around. I am so scared right now of having nothing."

Ryan's eyes reflected his true understanding of her words, and she hugged him as she saw it. "You are my best friend, Car. I am going to miss you when you are gone." They went inside and she curled up alone in the queen size bed in the guest room, crying softly as she prepared for the backlash that she got from the others. Ryan had suggested that they be vague on the details of the break up and she agreed, and she fell asleep restlessly. She woke up and stared at the ceiling, breathing slowly. She didn't have Eric or Ryan now, and she looked at her bare finger. She had given the ring back last night through guilty tears, and she felt a bit relieved now. She got up and started looking online for places, jumping around to cities in various states as well as Chicago. Carli had no idea what to do or where to go, and she heard her phone ring next to her. She glanced at it to see Travis's name and she winced. "Hey."

"Hey, Car. How are you?" Travis asked her, and she rolled her eyes. "I spoke to Ryan last night. He was pretty upset."

"I would imagine." Carli said quietly, and sat quietly. "I sort of am as well."

"Are you guys cool?" Travis asked her, and she laughed without humor.

"For two people that just ended an engagement, we're peachy. I hope that we are in the long run, but right now I am looking forward to going on the tour. I need a break and a clear head." Carli told him, and sighed. "I need to figure out where I am going to live as well. I feel a little lost right now."

"You're welcome to crash here if you need to." Travis offered, and she thanked him. They set up a band dinner, and she decided they should all know what happened and just hash it out. She knew they would be worried as well, but she had to believe it would all work out. She continued to look at places and surf the net, finally getting up to take a shower. She heard the front door close as she cracked the bathroom door, and she adjusted the short dress that she wore after showers when she was getting ready. She brushed her wet hair and decided to get some fresh colour before the tour as she did. She saw movement next to her and glanced over to see Ryan stop and peek in.

"Hey, Car."

"Hi." She was brief and she turned her attention to the mirror.

"I missed you last night." Ryan told her, leaning against the door. "It was so lonely alone in the room."

"So should I have slept in there after what happened? It does not seem right." Carli said, rubbing her primer on her face.

"It would be comforting." Ryan replied, and she glanced at him. He looked pained and she frowned. "Can we work this out at all?"

"I don't know how. We discussed this last night." Carli replied, longing to be out of the house. "I will be on tour soon enough, Ryan. I will be out of your house."

"I don't necessarily want that, Carli." Ryan said, and she sighed. "This completely sucks."

"I know. I am going to dinner with the guys to explain this all to them and I am dreading it." Carli told him, and met his eyes. "They might hate me."

"If I don't, they have no right to. I messed up as well" Ryan assured her, sliding his hands around her waist as he moved behind her. She realized how small the dress was and she felt him slide his hand up her stomach. She felt a hint of desire and she tried to keep him from sliding it under her dress, but he beat her and she moaned. They ended up in his bed making love hard, and she cried out as he bent her over the pillows and entered her. She had a flashback of Eric and a lump formed in her throat as Ryan thrust himself in and out of her. The fantasy molded into the reality and she cried out as she came, and he soon followed. They rested and made love again, and she looked at her messy hair in the mirror.

"Another shower." Carli murmured, and Ryan held her down.

"How long did you fuck him?" Ryan asked, and she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Ryan, you don't want to know this." Carli assured him, and his eyes grew darker.

"What made you want him? What made you stop loving me?"

"I never did. There was just an attraction with him and it went from there. It lasted a week, just one week." Carli said, and she felt the pain in her heart.

"What made you love him too?" Ryan asked her, and she shook her head as she grabbed her dress and got out of the bed.

"I have no clue. I just did and he asked me to stay, but I came with you. I wanted to make it work." Carli said, holding the dress in front of her.

"You wanted everything to be smooth for you. You knew without me it could fall apart." Ryan accused her, and she stared at him. "It was not just me."

"Ryan, just stop with this. I should go stay at Travis's for the remaining two weeks." Carli said, and he stared at her. "We cannot work through this. You will hold onto pain and I will react. Let's just take a break and I will pack before I go and we can sort it out then." She got up and took another shower, crying as she did. She tried to put on make up and do her hair, but she ended up clipping it up in the back and only managing mascara. Ryan's door was closed when she left and she threw her purse into the car and drove to the diner. The guys were already at a table and Travis took a long look at her.

"You look bad, Car."

"I am." Carli snapped at him, and the waitress came over. She ordered a chocolate shake and then looked around at the others. "Ryan and I broke up sometime in the course of last night, and I wanted to tell you in a group. It sucks ass right now, but I am hoping that we can get through this part and be friends or something like that at some point."

"Why? You guys were fine." Jimmy told her, and she shrugged.

"It had a lot to do with us being apart so much." Carli said slowly, thinking back to New York. The waitress came back to take orders, and they discussed the tour and the situation. They were understandably concerned, with him being a close friend of theirs and he and Carli being on the outs like they were. The night helped and she left feeling like they could all work with this and manage, and she hugged all of them before she got back into her car. She wished suddenly and regretfully that she had not deleted Eric's messages. She knew that it would only mess her life up further and that it was best, but it didn't make her feel better at that moment. She drove back to the house and walked in to find it empty, and she began to pack what she didn't need right away. Carli wanted to be organized when the tour began and ready to move into her own place, wherever that ended up being. She piled boxes that she had found in the garage to use against the wall and glanced up when Ryan stopped at her door. "Hey."

"Wow. You're moving fast." Ryan told her, and she nodded slowly.

"This is over. We cannot go back to what we were, and we both know that." Carli told him, and felt his gaze on her. "I am going to look for a place and probably line something up before we are back home."

"Where will you move? Here?" Ryan asked her, and she shrugged.

"I'm not sure yet. I guess we shall see." Carli replied, and realized that she really could go anywhere. She could have the band and live elsewhere with work, and the idea forced a small smile out of her. It faded as she looked up at him. "I am sorry, Ryan."

"I guess I am as well. I only wanted it to work for us."

Carli looked at him, and his eyes were serious. "It will work for you with somebody. You have always been great, and you always will be. I hold no resentment towards you." She was hurt by his infidelity, but it didn't really matter any longer with her own.

"Friends." Ryan said, and she nodded. It took time to get there, but she felt better about it as they prepared to leave for the tour. There was some pain as they slept in the separate rooms of the house, but she could not and would not bring herself to hurt him the way she had by making love with him anymore before she left. They hugged each other as she stepped onto the bus, and stared into his pained eyes before walking away and focusing on the future.


	10. Timer For Me To Fly

I do not own any True Blood characters, and I only use and abuse Eric for these stories I write.

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Carli was overwhelmed by the Warped Tour, in both good and bad ways. It was so many bands packed into every show, and she felt like she met every single member of every single one. There were signings for them at every show, but the fans they met were lovely and really supportive. She loved performing on the small stage for the crowd, and they got a very good response. She spoke to Ryan from time to time, and he was healing his wounds as she traveled the US, but doing alright. He was handling their end and prepared for her to move out, and she continued to look for places when she was awake during their down time. The guys seemed to get over the break up too, even though she got a certain vibe from Travis from time to time. There was a certain awkwardness between all of them when they talked about the future, and she knew that they worried. They watched her look for places and she asked for their input on locations, but they just shrugged. She lived for the times when she was onstage and sleeping, and kept chipping away at making them all happy when they were not onstage. She hoped that they would get back to their happy place together and she finally picked a place to live with a resigned sigh. She signed papers on it when they stopped there on tour, and announced it to the band that night on the bus. They looked at her, and she pointed out the finer points of it. They started to see it her way and she smiled at them with hope in her eyes.

They toured for three months and she drove back into Chicago with a weary sigh. She needed to pack and get settled in her new place and she walked into the house to see Ryan playing guitar as a blond sat on the couch near him. She smiled as they looked up and he let a look of guilt pass over his face. "Oh, you're back. Carli, this is Renee."

"Hi, Renee." Carli greeted her, and they shook hands as the girl glanced at Ryan.

"So did you like Warped?" Ryan asked her, and she slid a hand through her hair that was near shoulder length now with a grin.

"It was something. We made a lot of friends there, and seems like we have a lot of contacts." Carli said, and he nodded. He had been himself and told her about the same thing. "Have you heard the EP?"

"It sounds great, Car. Different, but great." Ryan said, and she met his glance of pain. "I like the album too. You guys are going to get big."

"Yeah, I hope so." Carli said vaguely, walking slowly into the room that contained her things. She looked around and sat on the bed as she thought back to her time in Chicago. She had been really happy with Ryan here at one time, and in this city as she and the band formed. She fell back onto the mattress and closed her eyes, thinking about renting a trailer and driving to her new home in a couple of weeks. She thought about Ryan out there with the beautiful girl, and realized the couple of chances she had on the tour with some of the other performers had not amounted to much. It had not felt right or been right, and she had come home very single. She idly wondered how long he'd been dating her, and sighed out loud. Carli woke up late the next morning on top of the covers alone, and she rolled over and blinked. She had been really tired. She got up and showered in the empty house, and went to get her red touched up at the salon and then to the coffee shop. She sat with her laptop and idly surfed the net, talking to a few fans here and there as they stopped to chat. She found herself looking up Eric's company, wondering what he was doing. She wondered how he was doing, and she remembered his touch as she sighed. Carli went home and missed the tour as she walked in to the empty house, deciding to move earlier. She reserved a trailer online for three days from then, and packed her remaining things into boxes for the rest of the night.

"What's the hurry?" Ryan asked her, leaning in the doorway as she jumped.

"I am leaving in three days, I might as well start my new life." Carli said, and folded her arms across her chest. "You seem to have. She might prefer me not living in your house."

"Look, I took some time before I started anything. It still isn't easy, especially with you home." Ryan told her, and she met his gaze. "I am not that serious with her." He stepped towards her, and slid his hand down her vibrant hair. "You look good with red hair."

"Ryan." Carli said, tilting her head as he stared at her.

"You won't be here anymore. We cannot be together one last time?" Ryan asked her, and leaned in to kiss her softly. She had not been with anyone since their last time, and she craved the warmth. She pulled him close to her and nibbled on his lower lip as he slid one hand around her lower back while the other tangled into her hair. They kissed hungrily and she fought his tongue for control, and made a sound into her mouth as he devoured her. "My room." Ryan murmured, and she allowed him to pull her down the hall.

"I don't want you to cheat with me." Carli said, shivering as he slid his fingers under her tee. "That is what got us into this mess."

"I would drop her in a second if you wanted to try again." Ryan told her, lifting her shirt and tossing it onto the floor. "I am just dating her. I am allowed to fuck you right now, Carli. I need to feel you again." He pushed her back onto the bed and pulled her shorts down, burying his face between her legs. She cried out as he licked her, and his hands spread her legs further as he sucked her between his teeth. After five years, he did know what she liked even if her tastes had expanded with Eric. She still came against his mouth and she moaned through it as she threw her head back. He pulled away and ripped her bra off as she breathed through it, and his lips moved over her nipples as he slid between her legs.

Carli started to push against him, but her pushed forward as he bit gently on her nipple. "This is wrong. This could hurt her." Carli said, regaining her senses.

"It won't." Ryan assured her, sliding himself inside of her as she cried out. "You feel better than she does, and you're so tight after I go down on you." It reminded her of the night when Pam was between her legs and Eric's words to her, and she went limp as he thrust in and out of her. "What's wrong, Carli?" Ryan asked her, and she blinked as she came back to reality. He was looking at her, and she shook her head. She pushed him away and moved off of the bed as he stared at her. "Carli, what is it?"

"I can't just keep ending up in your bed, Ryan." Carli told him, covering herself as she looked for her clothes. He kissed her and she tried to turn her head.

"I want to finish at least." Ryan said, and she met his eyes. "Come back here to me." He slid his hand up her side and over her breast, moving her hand away in the process. She whimpered and he moved his lips over it again. She moved over his lap and he slid a hand between her legs as he sucked her into his mouth. His finger traced her clit and she moaned as she gave in to the familiarity that was him, moving against his fingers as she searched for her climax. She slid her hand down around him, and he grew harder as she stroked up and down. She ended up in his lap with him inside of her, thrusting deeply as she cried out. Their damp bodies stuck together as they both finished at the same time, and he gripped her ass tightly as he drove himself deep one last time. Carli collapsed against him and he slid his hands up her back. "You can stay. We can work, Car. We can do that every night we are together."

"We both slept with other people, and I loved someone else. That is not a good sign of us. We can do this until the end of the day and that will never change. This is just sex." Carli told him, and he kissed her hair. "I am gone, Ryan. I am gone soon and I want us to be okay as just friends without all of this sex. I want to be normal and not messed up in my head."

"I think I do too." Ryan agreed after a long moment, and they pulled apart. "You do feel really good though."

"Thanks. You do too." Carli told him, and they stared at each other. "I want you to come and see me when you have a minute. I don't want to lose you."

"Sounds good.." Ryan agreed, and she got up off of the bed and collected her clothes. She walked back to her room and dressed again, and cried as she sat on her bed. Too much regression and pain was happening in her life, and she was tired of it. She curled up to sleep and it seemed like a minute later that she was all hooked up to her SUV and ready to go. Ryan hugged her and held tightly as she felt a tear in her eye, and she laughed as she struggled. Travis had offered to ride along with her and help her get set up, and she had agreed. Being alone sounded like a lot right then. She waved to Ryan and the other guys and their girlfriends, and her and Travis pulled away and started driving towards her new life. She felt better an hour later, knowing that she would not be there to complicate Ryan's life as well as her own. She did not want him back, but the familiar was hard to resist. Five years together was not easy to just ignore and move past when it was staring you in the face. The drive was a couple of days but finally she was there. Travis helped her unload the truck and set up her new two bedroom apartment, and she pulled the sheets off that covered the furniture that came with it and surveyed the place. They hit the streets of New York and she smiled as she looked around the people on the streets and up to the buildings. She bought him dinner for his help and support and they went back to her apartment late and played guitar and sang songs. She went out onto her balcony before going to bed, looking out over the lights and thinking. It was all new and she smiled wistfully as she thought about the last time she had been there.

Carli had been worried about the band and her living separately, but it turned out that they loved having a place to stay whether it be for business or fun. She bought a king bed for the guest room and a long sectional with a huge ottoman for the living room, and got settled in very slowly. She missed the convenience of Chicago when she was alone out on her balcony, and the simplicity of just going to visit one of the guys. Carli was known and had friends, but a new city was a new city no matter what. Everything took adjusting. She knew that she had chances to date, but she was taking that slow at the moment. She had been so confused regressing with Ryan over the months and she needed some healing time. She traveled back to Chicago a few times to take care of things, and everybody in the band quickly earned some frequent flyer miles. Travis came three months into the move to do some press with her, since the others had a wedding to attend. They went out to some bars the night before, and she woke up late the next morning.

"Trav!" Carli called into the next room as she flew into the shower, panicking. She was fast and sprayed some gel into her hair after and brushed it as straight as she could. She put on the most minimal make up possible and groaned as she pulled on jeans and a long sleeved tee. Her hair was past her shoulders and she ran a hand through it as they ran out to her car to head to the station. Travis drove since he loved the hectic city, and they parked in a garage and grabbed their guitars as they headed into the Sirius building. They got signed in and took the elevator up to their floor and she remembered the last times with a soft sigh. She smiled at Travis and they went into the studio that she had been in with Ryan, and the hosts greeted them along with a couple of other guys that were scattered about. Travis took a seat with her on the couch, and they discussed the album and EP, as well as the tour. The one that seemed to like them the best asked her about the darker lyrics on the EP, and she smiled as she formed her answer. Carli explained that she wrote based on a lot of different things, both real life and things she read or saw, and that it just seemed right to go a bit deeper. They played the hit off of the EP and she glanced at Travis with a grin. He also asked about the break up, and her smile faltered as she explained that it was so hard being apart all of the time and that it had just taken it's toll. A look at Travis told her that he knew a bit more, and she bit her lip as she glanced back up at the main comedian as he spoke. He asked her to go out with him, and she giggled as she smiled a forced smile. She teased him about their topic the last time she had been there, and how she knew that he both had a girlfriend and that he was a dirty man. The others ridiculed him and she laughed hard as they relentlessly went after him due to her rejection, and Travis joined in. They finally settled in with their instruments and played some songs. They began with their cover of Toxic, both singing their parts as Travis played the guitar, and then went into an acoustic version of the song played with both of them playing guitar. They finished with both an older song and a newer one, and the whole studio seemed very impressed as Carli blushed a bit.

They ended up hanging out the entire show, with their other press being phoners the next morning before Travis headed home. It was fun and relaxing, and Carli felt the bonds forming and a possible future visit in her future. They planned on breakfast and all left the studio together, and she heard her phone chime. She checked it and laughed as she told Travis that the guys and Ryan approved of their appearance, and he smiled at her. She slid her phone into her purse and began to walk with them when she felt it. There was a heaviness to the air and she turned her head backwards to find it, and she met Eric's steady gaze. He was standing near a rolling cart loaded up with plates and his blue eyes locked with hers, and she felt things tighten low in her body. It had been a long time, and she blinked as the warmth hit her. "Hey. You coming?" Travis asked her, and she glanced at him as she blushed warmly.

"I will meet you there. I want to say hey to some friends. Right across the street?" Carli asked, and Travis nodded as he gazed for a long moment at her. He glanced at Eric and offered to take her guitar as well as his own, and she handed it to him silently. He was gone and she closed her eyes for a long moment as she looked back at Eric. She noticed him abandon the cart and walk towards her, and she leaned against the wall as he stepped in front of her. "Hey there." Carli tried to sound casual, but it sounded very breathy to her. He looked as handsome as he always had, and she felt a lump in her throat as she met his deepening blue eyes with her own. "You…you look great. How are you?"

"I am doing well. You are beautiful as well." Eric murmured low enough for only her to hear, and she felt like reaching out to him and pulling him against her. It was a habit not to, and she clenched her hands instead. "You live here now?"

"I have for a few months." Carli replied, and his eyes searched hers.

"You never called to tell me, or came by." Eric said, and glanced at the wall behind her for a long moment. "I should say I am sorry for your break up."

"If you want to." Carli responded, and she saw that he was not sorry in his eyes. "It was bound to happen."

"I suppose so." Eric agreed, and looked at her. "I am enjoying your new EP. It seems a bit deeper and more you. It suits you, being such a…passionate woman."

"Am I?" Carli asked, and she saw lust pass through his eyes.

"I remember that about you." Eric said softly, and she let out a breath that she had been holding. His heat was overwhelming her, and they were not even touching. Desire was washing over her and had centered between her legs as she shifted uncomfortably.

"I know things didn't end well. I'm sorry. It is most of what has held me back from seeing you since I moved here, and also the fact that it has been quite some time. " Carli told him in a rush of words, and then glanced down. "It was safe to assume that you moved on."

"You could ask before you assume." Eric suggested, and she looked down. "Can I see you sometime?"

"How do we do that after what we did?" Carli asked honestly, and kept looking down.

"We go to dinner and we talk." Eric told her, and she glanced up at him. "I want to know you more than I did then. I want to just be in your life in some capacity. It's simple."

"I wish." Carli said, knowing that she would be fighting herself the entire time. "Trav leaves tomorrow for Chicago. Call me. Do you need my number?"

"If it hasn't changed, I still have it." Eric assured her, and she felt a surge of disappointment. He had never contacted her. "I will call you tomorrow afternoon, Carli." He leaned down and brushed her cheek with his lips, and the innocent gesture had far less than innocent results. She sucked her breath in and her body tightened painfully. She hated that he still got to her, and she kept her eyes closed as he pulled away. She felt comfortable onstage in front of people and even on a radio show that covered every sexual topic there was, but not with this man in front of her. He turned her into a melting mass of hormones with one glance, and she opened her eyes and looked at him. "By the way, you actually made me like a Brittany song in there. You sounded very raw and sexy and did wonders for it."

"Thanks." Carli said, and looked up at him through lowered eyes. "I know a guy like the one in the song."

"Tell me all about him tomorrow." Eric told her, and smiled his winning smile as he walked away. Her eyes dropped down his sculpted body to his perfect ass, and she pressed her lips together. She took a deep breath and walked to the elevator the opposite way and took a few deep breaths as she went down to the first floor. Carli hit the bathroom on the way out, trying to calm herself as she fixed her make up and sorted her thoughts. She felt better as she walked outside and across the street, smiling as she entered the diner. She greeted some fans and made her way to the table where she slid in next to Travis. He looked curiously at her as she picked up a menu and looked down at it, and the conversation began flowing again. She looked outside after she ordered, smiling at the sun shining on the busy street. They ate slowly and chatted and her and Travis headed to the movies afterwards. They cooked at her apartment and he looked at her across her bistro table.

"So that guy at the station today? Is he the one that you slept with here?" Travis asked her, and she blinked at him.

"What?" Carli asked, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"He needed to tell someone the real story, and he knew that I could be trusted. He also told me about himself, and I said that you had both been assholes. Just so you know." Travis said, and she stared at the table.

"Gee, thanks for that. I have not kicked myself in the ass over it at all."

"For the record, I do think the proposal was a bad move on his part. It was a bit reactionary." Travis said, and she looked up at him with a hint of pain in her eyes. "But you took the ring after you had been with somebody too. That was wrong, Car."

"I know all of this, Trav. Trust me." Carli said, leaning her head into her hands.

"I could see how shaken you were seeing him today. Did he feel the same?" Travis asked her, and she shrugged.

"He oozes confidence and he is so self assured. Who knows?" Carli asked, and sighed.

"Are you going to see him again?" Travis asked, and she looked at him.

"I don't know." Carli replied, and he stared at her for a moment. "It's pretty over with Ryan, so I could in that sense. But it also makes it complicated."

"Good luck with that, Carli." Ryan laughed, and she smiled ruefully. They watched a scary movie and he kissed her cheek before he headed to the guest room. She pulled on shorts and a tank top and made her nightly trip to the balcony to stare at the lights of her new home. She always had a chance to think out there alone, and she wondered what chance she had of making it work with Eric. Was it worth trying only to fail later? Losing him had been hard enough the first time for her. She yawned and went into the bedroom to crawl under her covers and try to sleep, but the feeling that he had given her remained. She sighed and wished that she didn't have company so she could at least relieve herself. Carli eventually fell asleep, and they sat together the next morning at her phone to call a few stations. She sipped coffee and feigned enthusiasm, rolling her eyes at their silly antics and chatter. Travis and Carli both agreed that the show the day before had been far more bearable, and he went to pack for his return home. Her phone rang, and she walked out onto the balcony to answer it after she saw his name.

"Hey, Eric." Carli said slowly, leaning against the balcony.

"Good afternoon, Carli. I trust your day is well." Eric said in his smooth voice, and she clung to it for a pathetic moment.

"Peachy. I just did phoners with awful radio stations. I think I am in the wrong business sometimes." Carli said, and sighed.

"Never. That voice of yours is far too sexy to hide." Eric chided her, and she shuddered at his tone. "Will a night out cheer you up? I will compliment you all night long and bring a smile to your face."

"It's worth a try. What did you have in mind?" Carli asked, and smiled.

"A Japanese place near me, if it sounds good. After that is up for debate at this time, but we can discuss that." Eric said, and she thought immediately what sound good after as well as before.

"Sounds great, Eric." Carli agreed, and they arranged for him to pick her up at her place at seven. She hung up and went back inside to see Travis carrying out his bag. She drove him to the airport and hugged him, and watched him leave with a wistful smile. Living apart from her closest friends was not always easy, and she went back to her car and drove home to take as long shower to get ready. She turned on the radio after she got out, and stared at her pale face in the mirror.


	11. First Date

I do not own Eric or Pam, and I wrote this tired and getting sick. And officially sick. So bear with any of the drivel and try to enjoy. Thanks for the attention you have given it!

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Carli brushed out her hair and dried it, straightening it slowly as she sat on her small bathroom counter. She clipped a piece up with a rhinestone barrette and then stared at the vast array of make up she had in her drawer. That was the perk of being known. Everyone she even mentioned on the internet sent her stuff, and she appreciated every last bit of it. She brushed on her mineral make up and then worked on her eyes. She used a light shimmering shadow on her brow, and a liquid black liner on her lid. She added a deep gray in the crease and lined the lower lid with a deep brown, finishing with mascara. Carli brushed her cheeks lightly with a deep blush and her lips with a shiny clear gloss. She ran a hand through her hair and went to her closet to stare at it for a moment. Carli didn't want to appear like she was ready to jump right back into bed with Eric, though her body would argue that point all night long. She pulled out a black dress that had a scoop neck that was alluring but not too low with a clingy waist and a skirt that swung out with every step and hung just below her lower thighs. Carli pulled it on over thigh high stockings, and slid her feet into high heels. She sprayed her favorite perfume on, remembering Eric nuzzling her neck and inhaling it often. She smiled at the memory, and closed her eyes slowly as she hoped for the strength she would need that night. She walked through the apartment to make sure it looked presentable, and sipped a glass of wine as she stood out on her balcony to watch the city come to life. She heard the knock and turned to go in and get it, and she sipped her wine again as she opened the door.

"Look at you." Eric said, his eyes deepening as he took her in. They lingered on her mouth as she finished her sip, and she stared at him. He was in black slacks and a white button up that fit him perfectly, and she felt her eyes raking over him. The fact that she knew what was under all of that now was a bad thing, and she blinked as she focused on his face. "You look gorgeous and smell amazing."

"Thank you. You look very good as well." carli told him, and he smiled at her with a knowing look. "Want a tour of my new home?"

"Later. We have a dinner reservation and I wsuld not want to be late." ERic said, and she smiled at him. She grabbed her purse and locked her door, and she felt his hand on her lower back as she glanced at him. He leaned in closer to smell her, and she shuddered as his breath warmed her neck as he slid her hair back. "I have missed this scent."

Carli was quiet on the way to his car, and she slid into it as he opened the door for her. She saw him get in his side and she bit her lip. "I don't know how to act with you. We have this past and I am all too aware of it."

"I can tell that you are nervous. Don't be. I am taking you out tonight to talk and just be with you, and I am not expecting an immediate regression to what we had before." Eric assured her, and she met his blue eyes. "I can feel your attraction and mine is the same, but I want you to be comfortable."

"Really?" Carli asked, and he nodded. They went to the restaurant and he gave his keys to the valet, and she watched as his red Corvette drove out of sight. He opened the door and let her walk in before him, and she slid her hand into his as they went up to the host. He glanced down at her, and she smiled as he stroked her small palm with his long thumb. They were seated and she noticed the glances from some of the people sitting at the tables. They were seated with a few other people around the grill and she greeted the fans that were there with a warm smile and a hello. Orders were taken and she looked up at Eric as she felt his gaze on her. "What?"

"You're so gracious to all of them." Eris spoke into her ear, and she felt him slide his arm around her shoulder.

"They make me what I am." Carli told him, and her eyes rested on his eyes. "Does it bother you that I get recognized?"

"Not at all." Eric replied, and the chef came out to their grill. They all watched the preparation and Carli clapped when he was done, and he winked at her. "Another one?" Eric whispered to her, and she giggled as he gave her a thumbs up. They talked casually during dinner and she took some pictures with fans as she finished, and she sipped another glass of wine as the dinner wrapped up. She was full of good food and had relaxed some, feeling the comfort that she remembered from Eric. They walked out to his car together, holding hands, and he looked down at her. "What now, my lovely lady?" Eric asked her, and she moved close to him as she smiled.

"This." Carli said, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a slow kiss. It was chaste in appearance, but she felt the jolt shoot through her and she also felt his hands grip her hips tightly. "I can do this now, freely and as I want."

"Do it anytime." Eric urged her, and she felt him brush her lips with his gently again. His car was pulled around and he opened her door for her, and looked at her once he was in his side. "What would you like to do?"

"Let's go to that theatre." Carli said with a smile, and he nodded. They drove as they talked, and he stroked her leg with his free hand. She felt the familiar tightening and she let out a long breath as she leaned back. Thought entered her brain, and she felt a halt to the good feeling flowing through her. She looked at him, and a glance from her caught her gaze. She opened her mouth to speak and then looked forward again.

"You're thinking about something." Eric said, as he parked the car.

"I…..I was wondering why you wanted to go out with me. I was wondering how I am enough for you, if we even turn into something, and how you can trust me. I was wondering why you want me again." Carli said, and voicing her feeling surprised her. She almost had not realized that all of this worried her. "Is it too soon for this? Am I totally over thinking this?"

"Carli, no. I can see why you would think about this, because it was very intense before with us." Eric said, and she slowly looked at him. "I wanted to go out with you because everything hit me when I saw you, and I knew that it was not over for me. I needed to see you. And about you being enough, you always were. Do you ask that because of that night on the balcony?"

Carli's eyes widened as he said the words, and he leaned towards her to kiss her gently. "I have always felt like you needed more since that." Carli admitted, and he shook his head.

"I should have stopped it when it first began, but I was driven by lust. Lust for only you, but my love for you could not battle that at the moment." Eric assured her, and his fingers stroked her cheek. "I was ready to stop it when it first started, but when I saw you responding and moving against her fingers, I couldn't. I liked watching your face as someone else made you have that orgasm, and I immediately wanted you tight and wet so I could have you. I asked you to do what you did for that reason, and I loved watching the line of your body as you then rode her tongue and came again. I'm sorry that I got caught up in it, and it will never happen again." Eric murmured, and she felt the desire center between her legs as she fought it. "I never wanted to do anything with Pam, and she knew that. I wish that I had known what it would do to you, Carli. I blame myself partly for your walking away from me." The lust was clear in his eyes, along with the pain, and she slid her arms around him and pulled him close. "I hated losing you like that." He kissed her, and she could not and would not keep it chaste that time. She deepened it immediately, and his tongue danced against hers as she moaned. She felt every part of her body respond, and he slid his hand into her hair and gripped it as she made a sound into his mouth.

"I hated losing you as well." Carli told him as their lips parted, and met his eyes. She knew what her feeling were, but she didn't say them and kissed him again instead. They eventually made it into the movies once she had fixed her make up, and they sat in the middle at an end. He slid his arm up to where her neck and her hair met, and she leaned back as she was taken back to the moment at Starbucks so long ago. He stroked her skin gently and she slid her hand over his leg and thigh, longing to know if he was as bothered as she was. She didn't move her hand far enough to find out, but she felt his muscles tense under her fingers. The theatre darkened, and she leaned against him as she moved the arm rest to get closer to him. He kissed her hair and she slid her arm around his torso as he continued to stroke her, and they watched the previews quietly. One or the other would begin another long kiss every now and again, and she would always heat up. She was so comfortable when the movie ended that she didn't want to move, and he stroked her hair gently as he chuckled. The lights came back on and Carli frowned. "I'm so comfortable."

"I hope that means we can enjoy another date together." Eric suggested, and she pulled away slowly to look at him.

"Is this one over?" Carli asked him, and his eyes darkened.

"What are you saying?" Eric asked her, and she smiled silently at him. She wanted him to come over and she wanted him in her bed, giving her back everything that she had once had.

"I am just saying that if it is, I would not mind another." Carli replied, and he stood up and pulled her up by the hand. He pulled her to him to hug her, and she inhaled him as she pressed against his chest and slid her arms around him. "You're a good date. I never really knew that before."

"I am a good person to those I care about." Eric assured her, and she felt his hands in her hair. "I care deeply for you, Carli."

"I know." Carli replied, and they walked outside and to his car. "So you could come over for awhile. I am not asking you to sleep with me, but I don't want to say good night just yet. I just want to talk some more and hang out."

"That sounds fine to me." Eric told her, and they drove to her place. She gave him the tour and she saw the way his eyes lingered on her king sized bed before turning to go to the living room again. She got them some wine and they sat on the table on her balcony and talked. She found herself sliding her leg over his like she used to, and his eyes were warm on her as he smiled. "There is a lot to learn about you, Carli. Tell me about your family." Eric said, as he slid his hands up her leg to where her stocking met bare skin. She stared at him and he pulled one down gently, and she sucked in her breath. It was impossible le wanting him so badly but trying to do the right thing. The slow speed at which he completed his task told her that he was feeling the same way. He lay the stocking over the table and began to massage her calf and foot gently, and she leaned back and watched him.

"The guys are my family now. I was born in Boston and when my parents were killed in a car accident when I was five, I moved to Chicago to live with my grandparents. He died when I was twelve and my grandmother when I was eighteen. I had been friends with everyone there for awhile at that point, and ended up moving in with Ryan's family at first and then just with him when we got together. I guess this is my first place all to myself." Her face showed something, and she frowned. "I haven't been without him for years."

"Why did you break up?" Eric asked, and she became lost in the feeling of his hands on her leg for a moment as she was brought to reality.

"He guessed about you, about us." Carli replied, sipping her wine.

"How?" Eric asked, and she smiled bitterly.

"Both being writers, he read between the lines. I tried to convince him it wasn't true, but I couldn't lie for too long." Carli shook her head. "The surprise was is that not even I was enough for him. I never would have guessed it."

"How do you mean?" Eric asked her, leaning forward and taking her hand that rested on the table.

"He had a one night thing a long time ago, right before his impromptu proposal." Carli said softly, and Eric leaned forward further to kiss her fingers. "I never knew. He was so angry with me for taking his ring after what I did, and he should be. But do I have a right to be angry that he proposed for that reason? That hurts too. I did wrong by still seeing you and sleeping with you, but he lied for a year."

"No wonder you seem ready to think you're not enough for me, or maybe anybody. You are still hurt over that." Eric told her, and she glanced up at him.

"I didn't think of it that way, but maybe so. Great timing for a realization." Carli muttered, and he stood and came to her and knelt down on his knees. His face was still close to hers as he stared at her, and he slid his hands up her legs to her hips as he looked at her. He leaned in to kiss her, and she returned it eagerly as he pressed into her. She felt her legs part to allow him to be closer, but his lips felt too good to care. She found her hands pulling the shirt from his pants to un button it, to feel his skin against her fingertips.

His body tensed under her hands, and she felt him pull away from her to kiss her face and travel down her neck. She was throbbing all over, and she moaned as he kissed and nibbled gently at her skin. "I would always find you enough. I have never felt the way I do with you." Eric murmured, and she slid her hand down the front of him to feel him hard and ready. "Don't tease too much. I have been like this most of the night."

"I'm not teasing." Carli said, as her thoughts blurred together. Her desire was too much to deny and she longed for him to make her feel good. She longed for release of her insecurities. She felt him pull her against him and stand, and they almost fell. She let him regain his balance, sliding down her body to the ground as they both laughed. He picked her up again, bridal style, and she stared at him as they went inside. He took her to her bed, and she sat at the end as he dropped his shirt to the ground. He was perfect and she took in the man that she had missed so much, and he stepped forward.

"I love the way you look at me." Eric told her, and she met his eyes. "You look so hungry for me right now, and I see the feelings you are trying to hide."

"What am I hiding?" Carli asked, and he held out his hands to pull her up. He took the hem of her dress and pulled it up, and she shivered under his gaze. He pushed her gently onto the bed and she fell back against her pillows as he removed the other stocking. He then slid his hands up her legs and to her inner thighs and she moaned as he touched the slick part of them. "Oh, god."

"Some things don't change." Eric observed, and stood to remove his pants. His boxer briefs were next, and she stared at him as he moved onto the bed. "You want me to make love to you? I know that we both intended on waiting, but I don't think I can."

Carli unhooked her bra as she arched her back slightly, and slid it off. "What do you think, Eric?" He rose above her, lowering his face to kiss her lips as she slid her hands up his side slowly. His tongue teased her lips to part, and she easily complied, not disappointed with the aggressive way her searched her open mouth. She slid her hands over his broad chest and pressed against his hard nipple before pinching it. Her own were hard and hurting to be touched, and his lips moved over them. He bit gently and drew one into his mouth and she cried out with the feeling. She slid her hands back down to wrap her hand around him and he bucked forward slightly above her. She felt him move down her body and between her legs, tasting her full desire as she came instantly against his tongue. She was embarrassed and she turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. He sucked her into his mouth as she moaned as he gently used teeth, then released and licked her again. He had always been a fan of oral sex, and she thanked the heavens for that as she felt the pressure build in her again.

"You missed me," Eric told her, as he slid between her parted legs to kiss her. She tasted herself around his lips and she met his tongue eagerly. She felt his against her, slowly moving to enter her, and she moved her hips to invite him. He took it slow, and she slid her widely parted legs around his lower legs to attempt to pull him inside further. "You need to take this slow. Remember our first time before? You are much tighter right now, Carli."

"I don't want to." Carli told him, and he stared at her as he buried himself. She cried out as he filled her and the slight pain set in, and he shook his head at her. "OK, perhaps you were right." He moved slowly and she opened up to him with each movement, and soon she was trying hard to keep from screaming as she writhed under him. She clutched her sheets tightly as she came, and felt one corner snap off as she threw her head back. He followed, unable to contain himself as her body went into spasms around him and she gave herself to the feeling of it. She had missed this moment since the day she had left him, and the time away blurred together as her body responded to him. She felt him move to lay next to her, and she ran her hands up her sweaty stomach as she breathed deeply.

"I searched for months for something to mimic that feeling." Eric said next to her, and she turned her head to look at him. His eyes were steady on her face and she smiled as he stroked her cheek gently.

"You did? Pam said that you were out to forget all about me." Carli said, and knew that her jealousy showed in her eyes.

"I certainly was at first. She had a few interventions with me and finally made me realize I was only being self destructive and hurting people along the way. I realized she was right." Eric spoke casually and looked into her eyes.

"Should we have just done this without a thought to protection?" Carli asked, and he leaned down to kiss her.

"I am not that careless, Carli. I always covered myself then, and I assume you did as well. You would have stopped us before we began otherwise." Eric told her, and she bit her lip as she frowned. He took in her expression and stared thoughtfully at her. "Weren't you out there trying to move on yourself? You did break it off with him."

"Not me. I am a redundant type of girl and just slept with him here and there when the moment suited me. Never the right ones, mind you. That was why I came here. It was set for a few weeks later but we were just getting out of hand. He was dating a nice girl last time and I can only hope that he fixed that."

"So was this a moment of redundancy, Carli?" Eric asked her, and she closed her eyes.

"I hope not." Carli said, and moved over to press herself against him. "I just can't treat it as something casual, and it felt weird when I considered doing that. I like what I feel with you."

"What is that?" Eric asked her, and she kissed his chest lightly. "I can honestly say that I still love you. I want to know you more, but that is there to deepen as I do."

"Let's work on that." Carli told him, feeling it as well but scared to say the words. She closed her eyes as he stroked her hair, and continued to kiss his dampened skin as she felt sleep taking over.


	12. Arousal

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Carli woke up and slowly opened her eyes to find the bed empty, and she rolled onto her back and stretched as she sighed. She thought back to the night before and searched her mind for emotions of guilt or regret, but the logical part of her mind argued that you cannot avoid the inevitable. She would have slept with him again, no matter what. She slid her hand over her stomach to scratch it lightly, and then down almost as if to soothe the pleasant ache that she was feeling between her legs. She was surprised when the touch made her gasp and she stroked herself gently as her body throbbed. Her clit burned as she moved her hand, faster with each movement, and she closed her eyes and slid her free hand up to her breast. It was not that she never masturbated like this, when in fact she did fairly regularly since Eric has charged up her sex drive since she met him, but the suddenness of it took her by surprise. She came hard and cried out with it, arching her back as it hit her. Her legs fell sideways onto the bed and she threw her arm above her head as she took a deep breath. Carli felt eyes on her and she glanced up to see Eric standing in the doorway of the bathroom with wide eyes and a solid erection. She blushed deeply and he stepped forward as she turned her head. "Sorry."

"For what? That was beautiful and seemed sudden. I saw most of it." Eric told her, sitting on the bed.

"You didn't stop it?" Carli teased him, and glanced at him to see him raise an eyebrow. "Yeah, probably not." She saw the lust pass through his eyes and she watched him move closer to her.

"Do you do that a lot?" Eric asked her, and she nodded as she raised her fingers to his mouth.

"Since I met you I have." Carli told him, and watched his face as he tasted her. His hand found her leg and moved it open to slide up her thigh almost automatically. His fingers moved where hers had been and she moaned as he looked at her.

"I don't want this to be all about how much we want each other." Eric said, still fingering her. "I was fine until I saw you like that." She bucked against his touch and felt his eyes on her.

"Isn't everyone like this in the new stages?" Carli moaned, and slid her hand over to him to wrap it around him.

"Probably. I don't usually stick around to see whether that is true or not." Eric replied, and she felt his finger slide inside of her. His motions were jerky as she stroked him, and then she felt him roll her to her stomach and move behind her. His words still stuck with her and she felt him part her legs.

"Thinking of ditching me when the excitement is over?" Carli asked him in a breathy voice, and heard a chuckle as he lifted her to her knees.

"If memory serves me, you left me the last time. I was willing to spend a lot more time together." He slid inside of her, and she moaned as her muscles responded and her body opened for him. She moved with him as he thrust deeply inside of her, and she screamed as her body exploded. He followed soon after, and she collapsed onto the bed again. "I have a luncheon to tend to today but we could go out to dinner later."

"Sure." Carli agreed, exhausted again. She curled up and looked at him as he began to dress and regretted the clothing covering him. "I am in such lust over you."

"The feeling is mutual, but I do hope there is a bit more to it than merely lust." Eric teased her, leaning down to kiss her.

"There is." Carli told him, sliding her hands around his neck and letting him pull her up with him. "Call me later." The house was empty within moments and she dozed for awhile longer before showering and getting on the phone. She was flying to LA to record a song with a friend and needed to figure out when. The details were set and she went out and ran some errands before coming home and opening her laptop to find a flight. Eric had called when she was out and came over as she was paying for the flight and he glanced at the screen as he kissed the back of her head.

"Leaving again?"

"Just to LA for a bit. I am recording a song with a friend and need to spend a few days there." Carli replied, turning to face him.

"Come home, you." Eric told her, and she smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss her. They went to get a pizza for dinner and ate it at his place, since it was closer. She looked around as all of the memories flooded her, including her final time there. He noticed her expression, and stroked her hand as it rested on the table. "What's on your mind?"

"The last things you said to me here." Carli admitted, and he looked apologetic for a moment. "No, you were dead on with those words. My life was pretty fake."

"I was just hurt and angry that day. I didn't want you to go." Eric told her, and she smiled wanly and nodded. "You're here now and everything is different."

"It sure is." Carli agreed, taking another bite of the vegetarian pizza. They sipped wine and talked, going to get ice cream down the street later. He held her hand as they walked back to his place and they sat on the couch as he looked at her. He asked her about the Warped Tour, and she told him about the fans, the many other bands and friends that she made, and tried to describe what it did for her to perform and be out there. Her smile showed her love for it, and she felt like she was talking too fast as she told him.

"I should watch you live sometime. I wanted to see you on that tour, but I was still kind of unhappy about things." Eric admitted, and she slid her arm across his stomach as she leaned into him. "I see the way people talk to you and react to you. You are sincere and talented, and very beautiful and sexy if I may say so. " She kissed him and then smiled at him. "When do you leave for LA?"

"In two days." Carli replied, and he kissed her again. "You could come if you can get away."

"I wish. I am working as the only active partner right now in the company while I try to find another to help out. I am overseeing everything myself, for the most part." Eric told her, glancing down at the floor.

"Wasn't Pam your partner?" Carli asked, trying not to linger on the name too much.

"Was. She is no longer in New York and is more of silent partner." Eric replied shortly, and she leaned back a bit at his tone.

"Why?" Carli asked, and he looked off to the side. "Eric?"

"We had some disagreements over what happened with you as well as my actions after you left. It ended the friendship and she decided to move to California with a girlfriend and just remain a silent partner." Eric told her, and she stared into his handsome face. "She never understood what you got so upset about and I always defended you. "

"What else?" Carli asked, seeing guilt all over his face.

"We slept with each other one night as we argued about what to do with the company. It was a very heated conversation and I was hanging by a thread at that point. I had been through a few girls and nothing was making me happy, and I took out the brunt of it on her. She was willing but it changed things between us and eventuallty this is what happened." Carli leaned back further and he gazed at her.

"Did you want her that night too? Did you want to fuck her as well as me?"

"Not that night, no. I didn't really want to that night I actually did but I was losing it, Carli. It only happened once and she quickly resumed to women. It was such a mistake and an accident."

"Wow." Carli breathed, her mind swimming with too much information.

"I am considerably jealous over you sleeping with him most of the time when you were not together. Maybe more than you could be right now." Eric told her, and she shook her head.

"It isn't so much jealousy as much as surprise. I have barely been with anybody and you have slept with everyone." Carli imagined when the gossip started about her new boyfriend and visciously attacked any scrap of bad information they could about him. "How am I so good?"

"You're amazing. I love you and that is enough to make you enough for me." Eric told her, and she stared at him. "You could have anyone yourself, Carli. Why are you here with me again?"

"I loved you before." Carli answered, and he stroked back her hair. "I love you now but I hate that you did all of that."

"It was then, not now. I am happy now and I have you in my life again. I want you to remain here with me." Eric told her, and she closed her eyes and leaned against him. "You are so beautiful and talented, but you can be so insecure. See yourself for what you really are."

"I will work on that." Carli replied, and he kissed her head. She felt down about it the next couple of days and he did everything in his power to make her feel better. They spent both nights together at either home, and she could not turn him away when they were in bed. He treated her well outside of the sex and she knew that he cared for her, but there was a lot of doubt in her mind as well. She could not but to be a little jealous of his life away from her, despite all of his reassurances. They had breakfast together the day she left and he kissed her long and hard before leaving her apartment. He told her that he loved her and would miss her, and then he handed her a small wrapped box.

"I would pack it inside of the bag you check in." Eric suggested, kissing her one last time before he left. She frowned and took it to stuff it into her suitcase and made sure the house was in order before leaving. She took a cab to the airport since Eric had to rush off to work and was in LA by that evening. She was walking through the airport to get her bag and meet up with Troy, when she heard her name called. She turned her head expecting a fan, but saw Pam smiling at her with her blue eyes sparkling.

"Hey, Pam." Carli greeted her uncomfortably, smiling a forced smile. "How are you?"

"I am well now that I live here." Pam replied, and looked curiously at her. "I hear that you relocated to New York."

"I did. I travel a lot for work, but I have always liked it there." Carli replied, stopping to take a picture with a fan. She returned and Pam was eyeing her speculatively.

"Have you seen Eric upon returning?" Pam asked her, and Carli felt the blush in her pale skin. "I see you have. Trying again?"

"He told me what happened, and I am sorry for the role that I played in that." Carli said, and Pam searched her face with darting eyes. "He told me everything."

"Well, things certainly went to shit there. He is an asshole when he is miserable." Pam informed her, and Carli took a breath.

"Why sleep with him then?"

Pam smiled at her and ran a hand through her hair. "I guess I just wanted to see what he would feel like, being in such a state. He's very good, but I do prefer something a little different. It just sort of happened and then I decided to leave. I assume you two are fucking again like you were before?"

"It's different now. I am single." Carli told her, and Pam feigned a sympatheitc face.

"Well, I am sure that was best for the both of you." Pam said, and Carli nodded. "He really did miss you. Eric,I mean. I could see that he loved you, and I am surprised he let happen what did with us."

"Yes, we discussed that. I am the one that really freaked out about it, Pam. I haven't done much and that was a shock." Carli admitted, and Pam raised an eyebrow as she stepped closer to her.

"Wasn't I good to you, darling?" Pam's eyes showed a hint of lust and Carli stapped away.

"I came twice, didn't I?" Carli challenged her softly, and Pam laughed softly.

"That you did, that you did. I would love a repeat if you're ever in town and interested." Pam reminded her, and Carli smiled and nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind." Carli told her, and Pam looked serious for a moment.

"Take care of him,Carli. Make him happier than he has been and I know he'll work at doing the same for you." Pam urged her, and Carli promised that she would.

"Pam. I know he misses you too so try to work on the friendship that you had." Carli told her, and Pam smiled. They walked together to get their luggage and Pam was greeted by a gorgeous brunette that kissed her as they hugged. Troy walked up to her as he eyed the girls, and Carli laughed at him.

"Is there something I should know, Car?" Troy asked her, smiling mischeviously.

"Not so much. Just a friend from New York, Troy." Carli replied, hugging him. They had gotten close on the tour and had arranged to do something together in the studio early on. Troy had offered to let her stay at his apartment, but she had chosen a hotel. It would offer her more privacy and she imagined it would be quieter than an apartment in the heart of LA. Troy took her to her room todrop off her luggage and they grabbed some dinner while she listened to a rough copy of the song to get a feel for it in person. They had studio time the next morning at ten and she was dropped off back at the hotel. She pulled on her signature tank and a pair of Eric's boxers that she had stolen from him, and sat on the bed to try and call him. She remembered his gift and went to get it, laughing as she found a vibrator in the box. It was a smaller one but it certainly would do the trick with the varying speeds it offered. She called him to thank him and he asked her to try it out for him over the phone. It didn't take long for a few words from him to get her worked up, and she turned on her speakerphone and complied as she lay back on the bed. She came as she moaned and she could hear the lust in his voice.

"I saw Pam at LAX today." Carli told him once she had recovered, and he had disappeared to the bathroom for a few moments of his own.

"Was she decent to you?" Eric's vcice was harsh and she frowned.

"For Pam, she was nice. She did wish us well." Carli told him, and he sighed. "Her girlfriend is really pretty."

"She likes them that way." Eric replied and Carli blushed a little. "Look at you."

"I'm just OK." Carli assured him and he argued with her before telling her that he missed her. She told him the same and he also told her that he loved her, and she paused. It felt so premature saying that, despite their history of intensity. "I don't want to jinx us." Carli admitted, and he laughed.

"We said it when you didn't belong to me. Now you do so I am not holding back." Eric told her, and she frowned. They had told each other that in some manner then. "So I do love you, Carli. I will talk to you tomorrow night." They hung up and she missed him immediately. She knew that her career was not easy on relationships, and that she needed to be realistic and not mope. She stared at the vibrator and closed her eyes as she switched it on again. Her body was still sensetive from the last time, and she cried out quickly as the orgasm rocked through her. She dropped her hands to the mattress with her eyes closed, thinking it was the best gift that she could have gotten from him. He had turned her into someone she didn't recognize, and she felt her body still reacting. Her phone rang and she jumped, and her eyes flew open.

"Hello." Carli said in a breathy tone as she tried to control herself, finding Ryan on the other end. "Hey. What's up?"

"You sound…..out of breath. You okay?"

"I just ran for some ice and it was at the end of the hall." Carli explained, remembering the times they had done similar things while apart. Would he know that she was lying.?

"Why didn't you stay at Troy's?" Ryan asked her, and she took a deep breath. She smelled the scent in the room and she pressed her lips together as she felt her muscles calm down.

"He has a girlfriend and a small apartment, and I am sure they could use their privacy." Carli replied, and he paused.

"Are you alone on your trip?"

"Well, aside from the male escort that just left my room, I am." Carli tried for a laugh and got an exasparated sigh. "Kidding!"

"I thought you might have brought your new guy along." Ryan said in a glum voice, and she rolled her eyes. "You guys are officially on google."

"No surprise." Carli said lightly, and bit her lip. She hated whhen pics went up but they also hadn't tried to hide it very much either. "But, no. I am alone."

"You look happy with him." Ryan observed, and she heard the pain in his voice.

"He's a good guy." Carli replied, and smiled.

"He's the same guy from before?"

"I don't need to answer that." Carli replied, and suggested they move on to other subjects. They talked about the song and the studio and then hung up relatively peacefully. She looked at the ceiling and felt the guilt that likely came along with loving someone that one had previously cheated with. It was a hard burden to carry when she knew it hurt others, but Ryan was dating and moving on as well. Or at least she hoped he was. She closed her eyes and feltt sleep coming on, and all of her activity had increased that. Carli dreamed of Eric that night, and woke up aroused and annoyed as she realized where she was.


	13. Blow

I do not own any True Blood characters, and I only want to keep Eric as mine. We all good with that idea?

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Troy picked Carli up with his girlfriend and they headed to the studio after she had showered and drank some coffee that she grabbed at the Starbuck's nearby. It was in the middle of what seemed like the busiest part of LA, and Carli glanced around at the people as she pulled her hair back. She liked LA a lot, and she wondered idly if she could convince Eric to move there if they stayed together. She blushed slightly at the idea of them being together, and Viv caught it with a smile. Troy's girlfriend was very sweet and gorgeous with green eyes and black hair, and the warmest smile that Carli had ever seen. "What is behind that?"

"Nothing." Carli lied, smiling at her. She was the same way with Troy, and they looked so happy together. She winked and Viv giggled as they walked into the studio. They chatted with the guy behind the controls for a moment and then Troy went to do his part of the song. The girls sat in the back and chatted and Viv looked at her.

"So, new guy? I saw a picture of you two and he is something." Viv said, and Carli blushed.

"Just someone I met before in New York. We came across each other and decided to hang out, since I am single now." Carli replied, and pictured him in her mind. "He's a good guy, so far." She was still dealing with his life between their times together, but was focusing on trying to be realistic. They were apart and he had the right to do whatever she wanted. He had been in a bad place, and she had not been much better keeping Ryan around the way that she had.

"How is Ry handling that one?" Viv asked, smiling as she glanced at Troy.

"He seems a bit miffed. He has had troubled since the split, but it is best." Carli replied, thinking of last night. "Oh well. We are friends, for what it's worth."

"You should be. It is hard to do but a good thing." Viv agreed, and Troy came in to listen to what he had done. He talked with his friend and both girls looked on until he grinned at Carli. "You go, girl."

Carli stood up and walked inside, pulling on her headphones. She hung the words in front of her and read over them as she waited for a thumbs up. The music played in her ears and she started singing at the right note, and closed her eyes as she felt the emotion of the words. She felt herself move sideways and opened her eyes, and saw everyone else looking around. Troy ran outside and she pulled off her headphones as Viv signaled for her to stop, and walked in to ask her what happened. They followed Troy and found utter chaos outside. Three blocks down it looked like every building was on fire, and Carli stared in shock. There were people standing like her as well as running around, and the sound of sirens filled the air. Troy was down there, and Carli narrowed her blurry eyes to try and see better. It looked as though he was helping people, and she looked at Viv with horrified eyes. They held onto each other as the madness continued, not knowing what to do. The fire trucks and police pulled up and filled the streets with lights and screaming sirens and the girls backed up to the building and watched in silence. They slid to the ground and started talking in hushed whispers as they tried to figure out what happened, and Troy came back to them and sat by Viv. He pulled her close and told them that it was probably a gas leak under the street, and he breathed to Viv how lucky they had been to be a few blocks away. There was slight damage to the studio, but it really had been just a shake for them. They headed inside eventually and tried to decide what to do, and phones began to ring. It had hit the news and Troy answered his first. Friends and family were worried and scared, and Carli looked at hers as it rang. Her parents called first, and she knew they would because they watched national news all of the time. She assured them she was fine, but told them of the damage down the street. She felt better talking about it in a way, but it also made the tragedy more real. People were obviously dead and she had to catch her breath at the thought. They saw someone come inside and it was the police telling them to vacate the building, and Troy and the girls went to his apartment and sat and watched the news. It had been a gas leak and there was twenty dead so far with more to come. Carli's phone rang again and she looked down and answered it. "Tell me you were not there." Eric's voice said immediately, and she felt her eyes sting.

"The studio is on that street, but we are all fine." Carli assured him, missing him and his comforting arms. "The fire and the damage is awful though. I am so destroyed over the people that were killed. It was one of the busiest business districts in the city, Eric."

"Come home, baby. Come home to me." Eric told her, and she glanced at her friends.

"I don't know what the plan is as far as the recording." Carli said, and opened her mouth.

"I can try to get a flight. My employees can cover for few days." Eric assured her, and she smiled.

"I would love that." Carli said, and her phone beeped. "Call me when you know."

"I love you, Carli. I was scared for awhile there." Eric told her, and she told him that she would talk to him later. She answered to talk to the whole band and tell them she was fine and all about what happened, and after a few calls like that she longed for a recorder. She felt tired and stretched out on the couch and sighed. Her phone rang again and she saw that it was Eric and grabbed it. He was coming in that night and she smiled. She told him her hotel and room and he told her that he would take a cab. It had already been decided that they would get back to it in a couple days when things had calmed down, and she didn't want to fly back and then turn around and fly again. She nibbled lightly on dinner that Troy went and got and kept watching TV. Ryan had called and offered to fly out, but she assured him that she was fine and staying for awhile to finish. She called a cab to her hotel last that afternoon and took a very long shower, pulling on a beater and shorts as she sat on the bed. She knew that she would like to prepare for Eric's arrival, but she was too exhausted and achy. She brushed her hair and teeth and curled up to sleep until he came to the door, and she woke up to a loud rapping on the door.

Carli wiped her eyes and sat up, walking to the door and peeking through the peephole. There had been news footage of her and Troy and she was hoping the hotel would stay anonymous. Eric was staring at the door and she opened it slowly, smiling weakly. "Hey."

He came inside and glanced around the room. When it was closed, he dropped his bag and pulled her tightly to him. "Carli."

"I wanted to sexy myself up, but I didn't have it in me." Carli told him, and he stroked her still damp hair.

"You're always beautiful. I don't care about any of that. I am just glad to be holding you right now." Eric assured her, and she relaxed against him. He lifted her and carried her to the bed, and she looked into his face. He kissed her gently and she slid her arms around him. "I saw you on the news. You looked pretty upset."

"It was such a weird sight to see all that fire. We didn't hear it as much as feel the shake of the building." Carli said, leaning her head forward as she felt his hand begin to massage her. The room was dim from her nap and she glanced at his casual track pants and tight tee shirt. She felt a hint of lust, but she pushed it aside. "Thanks for coming."

"I could hear it in your voice that you needed the company." Eric told her, and she glanced sideways at him. He was looking at her with dark eyes and she smiled. "I really wanted to see you too." He leaned forward to kiss her neck, and she could not help the noise that escaped her lips. His hands dug deep into her skin and she felt his lips caressing her, and her body responded. The thin tank did nothing to hide her nipples and she moved to cover them.

"I should not be aroused by you right now. I should not be so selfish." Carli said slowly, and he tilted her face gently to look at him.

"You need comfort and touch, and sex is all of that. Sex is love as well." Eric told her, and leaned in to kiss her.

"Did you call Pam? Is she okay?" Carli asked, as the thought crossed her mind.

Eric sighed, and she stared at him. "She is but her girlfriend was in one of the buildings. She is upset, to say the least."

"Should we see her?" Carli asked, and Eric kissed her.

"Tomorrow." Eric promised, and she felt his lips capture hers. She moaned softly against them, melting into them. She didn't want to feel the desire coursing through her body, but it was there. "I love you, Carli." Eric murmured, and she felt him push her gently down on the bed. She felt a tear slide down her face for Pam's pain, despite their past. She responded to his kiss and his tongue as it gently teased her lips open, and she felt him move between her parted legs. He pulled away from her body and slid his hand over her shirt and she moaned as he pressed against her nipple. He slid that hand down to push the shirt up and kissed her breast as she pulled him closer.

"Make love to me, Eric. Make me feel something good." Carli begged him, and he finished taking her clothes off. He removed his own and pulled her over him, lifting his body to kiss her neck and down to her breasts again. His hand moved between her legs and she cried out as his fingers stroked her wet folds. She felt him slip one inside of her and she bucked against him as he groaned. Her hands found him and she stroked him as she came against his fingers, using her other arm to slide it around him before she fell backwards. Eric pulled her against him and moved her over him, and she slid onto him as she cried out. She rode him as he fell back onto the mattress, pinching her nipples as she moved around to find the best angle. She moved harder and faster when she did, and her body did not take long to tighten and she was moaning his name again. He came afterwards and she collapsed onto him as he stroked her back. "Comfort." Carli murmured, and closed her eyes. His skin was sweaty and warm, and it warmed her as she pressed against him. It soothed her as she felt him touching her.

"Comfort." Eric agreed, and she lifted her head to kiss him before passing out in his arms. They slept until the next afternoon, and she woke up next to him. He opened his eyes after she did, and they looked at each other. He pulled her close and kissed her hair, and she smiled as she slid her arms around him. "I love you, Carli."

"I love you." Carli told him, and inhaled him. She felt her stomach growl and he looked at her.

"Let's order some food." They looked at the room service menu and placed an order and she looked at him.

"So do you still want to see Pam?" Carli asked, and he nodded. He called her after they ate and arranged to meet her at her apartment. Carli dragged him into the shower and they kissed their way through it, ending up wet and on the bed as they made love again. She pulled on a dress and sandals and clipped her hair up after she brushed it through. Eric wore slacks and a casual button up, and they took his rental to Pam's. Carli had called Troy to let him know what she was doing, and he and Viv were just holed up in the apartment. They decided to try and meet for dinner later and she hung up and looked at Eric. He pulled into a parking lot and she stared at the nice complex. Eric took her hand as they went to the door, and she shrunk back as she saw Pam open the door. The normally gorgeous blonde looked sunken in and pale, and like she had not slept in weeks. Eric stepped forward and hugged her, and Carli had images of them fucking for a moment before she shook her head. It must have been very primal and rough, and she looked down as she tried to stop feeling the way she was. Jealousy filled her and she turned her head to stare at the wall.

"Carli?" Eric said, and she glanced forward. She stepped inside and hugged the woman before her, stroking her hair as Pam cried weakly.

"I am so sorry for your loss." Carli told her, and met her dull blue eyes. They went to the couch and she leaned against Carli as she slid her arm around her. Eric sat across from them, and he searched Carli's eyes as she stared at him.

"It was such a normal day. She went to work like always and then I happened to hear the news. As soon as I knew where it was, I knew that she was gone." Pam murmured, her eyes unblinking. Carli felt tears in her eyes and she blinked as one slipped down her cheek. She wiped it quickly and held the woman tighter. They spent the afternoon there, and it ended with her talking about returning to New York. Carli spoke little, watching her and Eric as they displayed their close friendship that they shared. Carli and Pam were headed towards a friendship, but Carli was too aware of what had happened between them to be totally comfortable. She was a bit relieved when they left and decided to send him the next day alone while she was recording. She hugged Pam again and the woman gently kissed her, more for comfort than in a sexual way, and Carli didn't pull away. Pam then hugged Eric and kissed his cheek and they walked downstairs quietly.

"Thanks for coming, but what was going on in there?" Eric asked her, and she glanced down. "Jealous?"

"I am." Carli admitted. "There is this strange sexual thing where I did things with her and you did stuff with her and I cannot wrap my mind around it at all." Carli replied, and he took her hand.

"Carli, none of that matters. I am here as a friend to her, and I thought you wanted things to be better with Pam in the first place."

"I did and I do. But you slept with her and so many others, and I don't understand how you cannot think of it as well when you see her like you did today." Carli said, shutting up as they got to the street. The cameras were busy with the explosion, so it had been low key lately, and they walked to the car. He opened the door for her and she got in as she looked down.

"Were you focused on the fact she went down on you or her pain today?" Eric asked her, as he slid inside and closed the door. "Were you aware that she wanted you today, not me? She wanted your touch for comfort more than mine."

"I know." Carli replied, and closed her eyes. "Her pain was heartbreaking to me. Her emptiness was scary. She always has a smart ass comment or something, and there was none of that. Will she ever come back?"

"Pam is strong." Eric told her, and took her hand into his. "Baby, I don't want you to be jealous. I love you and always have."

"After a week of knowing each other?"

"Yes. After a day of knowing each other, or maybe a few. I knew when we spent a little time together." Eric assured her, and she stared at him. "I would ask you to marry me if it wasn't so soon. What does that suggest to you?"

"That you are crazy." Carli replied, her eyes deepening. He kissed her hand and then drove them to the hotel where she called Troy. The four met for dinner at a Moroccan place downtown, and the décor and good atmosphere distracted Carli a bit from their day. Troy and Viv took Eric in with curious eyes, but Carli could tell that Viv was charmed easily by his smooth manner and that Troy seemed to relax after a couple of beers. The food was abundant and constant, and the four nibbled as they chatted and watched the belly dancer move around the room. Viv and Carli got up to join her at her invitation, and the room applauded their guts as they bowed and sat down. Carli was feeling a little giddy on the wine she was sipping, and she eagerly ate with her fingers and let Eric feed her a few bites as well. She leaned in to kiss him without thinking about it, and the room seemed to go silent as she touched him. She blushed lightly and pulled away enough to catch his warm glance, and looked at the table as she sipped her wine again. Dinner came to an end and she and Troy posed with some fans and she even posed with Eric for a fan, smiling nervously as he pulled her close to him. Viv smiled at her as the guys shook hands and said good night, and her eyes were sparkling.

"You guys are amazing together. Now I see what Troy and I must look like to others!" She giggled and Carli blushed as she glanced at Eric. He caught her gaze and held it, and she heated up with the hunger that she saw. They drove back to the hotel and she began unbuttoning his shirt immediately as they entered the room, and sliding it off his body as she kissed his chest.

"In much of a hurry?" Eric asked her in a low voice, holding her head close to him with his hands.

"I need you." Carli told him, moving her hands down to unzip his pants before loosening the button clumsily. She gasped as he took her and pushed her onto the bed hard, lifting her skirt and ripping off her lace panties.

"I will show you need." Eric assured her, dropping to the floor and breathing against her skin as she moaned. He parted her legs and leaned in to lick her hard in one long movement, silencing her as she breathed. He focused on her swollen clit, teasing it with the tip of his hot tongue before sucking it into his mouth and grazing her with his teeth. Carli cried out as he expertly increased the pressure building inside of her and slid her hands into his hair. When she came hard and long, he sucked her in harder to keep her crying out his name. He flipped her over and slid a finger inside of her as she lifted her hips to move against him, and she backed against him as he increased it to three. She craved the slight pain and he matched her rhythm as she came again within a few moments. He licked her again, sucking in all of her juices, and then ran his tongue up and between her ass cheeks as she moaned softly. She cried out as he penetrated her with the tip of his tongue and found herself backing against him. "I would love to fuck you this way, Carli. You would be so tight." She felt her heart jump, and he slid one hand around to finger her clit. She found the combination to be very pleasing and she surprised herself when she came again from his tongue inside of her and his finger stroking her fast between her legs. She breathed deeply, her body in some shock from so much at once. Eric rolled her onto her back again, and pulled her up gently. He lifted the dress above her head, and slid his hand down her bra to pinch her nipples as she stared at him. He asked her to sit against the pile of pillows and then moved up against her on his knees, and she allowed him to slide his length into her waiting mouth. Carli slid her hands around to stroke his ass, and she sucked him inside of her deeply as he groaned. He began to move harder and she welcomed him deep inside of her throat as he came, swallowing every bit of him. He pulled out of her slowly and she licked his sensitive tip as his eyes changed shades rapidly. He moved his mouth down to her hard nipples after yanking off her bra, sucking and biting as she slid her own fingers between her legs. She could not take her need to be fulfilled and he glanced down at her.

"I would say yes." Carli breathed as she came softly, and fell back as she idly kept stroking herself. He sat back to watch and looked at her. Her nipples were aching from all of the attention and she met his eyes as she breathed in.

"Yes to what?" Eric asked her, sliding his own hand down to harden his half erection.

"If you asked me to marry you, I would say yes." Carli said, and his face showed his pleasure. He seemed to harden before her, and he parted her legs as he stroked her thighs. "I love you, Eric." He thrust himself deeply into her, and she slid her legs so that her feet met his shoulders. "Fuck me, Eric. Make me scream your name."

"I love you." Eric said in a half hiss as he buried himself inside of her, and she gasped as she stretched to fit all of him. She moaned with every movement and soon was crying out his name as she exploded, gripping the sheets beside her so she would not hurt him. He could not take it and thrust one last time, deeply inside of her, wincing as he came as hard as she did. "Oh, god. That felt so fucking good, Carli." He fell next to her and they both took a few moments to recover.

"How long can you stay here with me?" Carli asked him, lying with her eyes closed on the mattress.

"I should try and get a flight for sometime tomorrow. I need to get back to work." Eric said reluctantly, and looked at her. "You?"

"It should be in about three days if the recording goes better." Carli said, and their eyes met for a long moment.

"Would you move in with me when you come back?" Eric asked her, and she smiled.

"I want to, but I have a lot of guests when the band comes staying in the house. I don't want to put that on you, and it could be a little uncomfortable for them being so soon." Carli told him slowly, and he nodded. "I will spend every night I can with you and give it some time to settle, but our past is known and I want to let everybody ease into it." Carli smiled a small smile, and reached out for his hand. "Here I said I would marry you. Listen to me back pedal."

"I would prefer to ask in the proper fashion anyway." Eric assured her, and she rolled onto her side to face him.

"I wish you could stay." Carli told him, and then laughed. "We might both need a break from a night like tonight though."

"I could handle that every night." Eric told her, and she blushed as she smiled. "Since you're here a few days more, could you check in on Pam? I know you might not be comfortable, but she does seem to have a comfort level with you and she should not be alone all of the time before she makes a decision about New York. I am a little worried about her."

"She will not make me do anything with her right?" Carli asked, remembering the light peck she had received when they left the house.

"Pam would never force anything on you that you didn't want to do. You didn't feel that way last time, did you?" Eric asked, and she slowly shook her head. She had agreed to all of it, and had even enjoyed it. His eyes were earnest as he looked at her. "She does find touch comforting, judging from the way she leaned on you when we saw her. Do what makes you comfortable, lover."

"What makes you comfortable?" Carli asked him, and he smiled at her as he moved closer to her and slid his hand up her arm gently.

"I am fine with anything involving her. But I don't want to share otherwise. I just don't want you to freak out again and doubt yourself." Eric told her, and she frowned.

"Is that because we have both been with her in some capacity?" Carli asked, and his smile faded slightly.

"I can see you two having a certain connection. That's all." Eric told her, and got up and went into the bathroom. She watched him and sighed, thinking how dysfunctional it all sounded. She didn't know sometimes what she was even doing these days, and she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. She felt him move back onto the bed, and he tucked the covers around them and pulled her close.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Carli asked him, and tried to see his face as she turned her head.

"Not those of love or attraction. It was not like that, Carli. It was….." Eric's voice trailed off and she stared at him. "I don't know what to say. I feel so guilty sometimes for it. I loved you the entire time we were apart and didn't know how to handle it. I fucked up a lot."

"Are you happy with me now?"

"I never want to lose you again. I would not put myself in any position to do that." Eric said, and kissed her forehead. "Trust me, lover."

"I do." Carli assured him, sliding her body over to press against him. "I love you." She could not help but wonder about things, many things, as she felt sleep overcoming her.

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Well, where is this headed? Certainly nowhere I have been in my life…could get interesting. Writing absolutely rules sometimes! I can go anywhere at anytime! Let me know your thoughts? Ideas?


	14. The Comfort of Touch

I don't own any True Blood characters. I just twist them around for my own pleasure.

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Carli woke up to the alarm the next morning, and leaned over to shut the phone off before nestling into Eric's arms again. He kissed her hair and she brushed her lips against his warm skin as he slid a hand into her hair. His flight was a few hours from then and she sighed at the idea. They were going to the studio together and he would leave from there and she lifted her head up to rest her chin on his stomach. He opened his eyes slowly to gaze into her face and she reached up to touch his lips. "Do you have to leave me?"

"Yes, I do have a company to run. Come home with me, lover." Eric told her, and she smiled. "Are you sure you do not want to be a stay at home kind of girl? I would take very good care of you."

"I have never wanted that!" Carli said, laughing. "I am sort of addicted to music."

"As well you should be. You are good at it." Eric said, and she tilted her head and rested it on him. "So I would love to make love to you before I pack and we shower. You?"

"I could be talked into that, I think." Carli agreed, and slid up his body. She felt him harden as she brushed against him and she smiled as she leaned down to kiss his lips softly. She moved her lips to his neck and bit gently as he gripped her hips tightly. He was fully erect now and she felt him press against her wet clit, and she slowly dragged herself over him as he groaned. He slid one hand up to cup her breast tightly and she cried out, jerkily moving so her was pressing against her wet opening. She slid over him and moaned as he filled her and stretched her, and slowed to let herself adjust him. She felt him start to thrust into her, and she matched his rhythm as she moaned with every movement. She felt him flip her over and she slid her feet up to his shoulders as he drove himself deeply inside of her. His damp skin slapped against hers with the force of it, and she gripped the sheets tightly. She clenched her teeth as she came hard and tried not to scream his name as he relentlessly fucked her tightening pussy. He could only hold out so long and came himself and she pinched her eyes shut bas he made the final thrust count. "Holy shit."

"Yeah." Eric agreed, his blue eyes swimming with various shades of blue as he looked at her. "Tonight is going to be so lonely without you."

"Am I the only one you want?" Carli asked, and he narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Why do you ask me that?" Eric said, and sat up to sit on the bed. "How much will it take for you to put all of that in the past? You're fucking beautiful and I love you."

"I don't want anyone else. I want us both to feel that way." Carli said, and he glanced at her as he stood and went into the bathroom. She stood and walked to the door and crossed her arms as she stared at him.

"I don't want you to want anyone else, Carli. I would not have told you that I love you if that were the case." She remembered his subtle suggestion about Pam, and looked at him quietly. He turned and flipped on the hot water, and stepped in after grabbing a towel. She sighed and leaned her head against the door frame. "Join me?"

"Really?" Carli asked, and heard his muffled reply. She stepped in and looked at him as he shampooed his hair. She let her eyes trail down his muscular torso and rest in his half hard cock as the water dripped off of him, and she pressed her lips together as she sucked in her breath.

"How can someone like you be insecure at all?" Eric asked her, and she raised her eyes to his face.

"I just am. Most girls are on some level." Carli told him, stepping towards him and sliding her hands through his hair to cover his hands. "Let me." She massaged his scalp and watched as his eyes closed in pleasure, then soaped up his body and washed him slowly and teasingly. He grew harder as she slid her fingers up his thighs and then scraped down, and she slid her hand around it tightly. "Ready again so soon?"

"Does this convey what you do to me?"

"Yes, something along those lines." Carli replied, moving to her knees to draw him into her mouth. They maneuvered themselves somehow in the small shower enough to make love again, with her riding him as the water dripped over her. He washed her off afterwards and she brushed her hair before pulling on some jeans and a hoodie as he packed his things. They left in time to get some coffee and breakfast for everybody and then he drove them to the studio.

Eric gazed at the ruined buildings on the road silently, and shook his head. The death toll was up to 75, and there was a small blessing that it had been the lunch hour and a lot of people were out of their buildings. "God, Carli. Another few blocks and you would be dead." His eyes met hers, and she saw the emotions in them. The street was quiet, with the few businesses attempting to keep going around the tragedy. Carli idly wondered where Pam's girlfriend had been, and she focused on her pain for a second. She knew that Pam needed somebody right now, and she vowed to see her that evening. She could set aside her issues and be supportive.

"Hey, guys." Troy greeted them and the couple glanced his way. Viv followed, and the girls laughed as they realized they both had coffee in a tray. All four of them looked around and the girls exchanged glances before they slipped inside of the building. They ate the breakfast sandwiches and sipped the coffee, before Troy figured out where they were at. He started recording his part again, and Eric held Carli's hand as they listened. She got up to do hers, and she stared at Eric as she started to sing the words. Carli closed her eyes and felt the emotions from the day of the explosion and threw them into the song, and took a deep breath as she finished. She opened her eyes and saw Eric staring at her, and she took off her headphones to glance at Troy. He gave her a thumbs up and she moved on to the chorus, and happily accepted the bottle of water that Viv offered to her with a grin. Troy thought it sounded great, and would know for sure the next day. He hugged Carli tightly to thank her and she smiled, and glanced at Eric. She could tell by his face that he had to leave, and she walked over to him as she pouted. He walked her to the door and stared at her as they stood in the hallway.

"You sounded amazing, It is going to be a great song, lover." Eric murmured to her, and she smiled as she stood up to kiss him. He breathed in as they both felt the sparks shoot between them, and he slid his hand into her hair. "I love you."

"I will be home soon." Carli whispered, and he kissed her again. "I love you \, Eric." He left to drive the rental to the airport, and she stood behind the closed door for a second by herself. She walked back in and sat down by Viv, who looked at her with big eyes.

"You guys looked so in love just then." Viv told her, and frowned slightly. "How do you spend time away from him at all successfully?"

"It is so new that I don't even know." Carli replied, realizing how much she had missed him during their time apart. They touched up a few more parts of the song and were done for the day, and the three walked outside. Troy took her back to the hotel after a quick lunch and promised her he would let her know about her going home soon, after she said she had plans with a friend. She called Pam, since Eric had put the number into her phone, and the woman seemed grateful to hear from her. It surprised Carli when Pam wanted to get out of the house, and she found herself in a restaurant in a black silk dress across from her a few hours later. They ordered drinks and Carli looked at Pam. The blond looked a little better with her hair straight down her back and some make up on, but the pain still showed in her dull eyes. She sipped her drink and Carli reached across the table and covered her hand. "How are you holding up?"

"Liz's family is coming in a couple of days to help with the…funeral plans. Being so new in her life, I really don't feel like I have much say. I was only here two months." Pam's voice was a little shaky, and she looked up at Carli. "Part of me feels like leaving and returning for my things after they are gone."

"Come to New York. I have an extra room, as well as….Eric." Carli said, and glanced down.

"Did he ever tell you what happened?" Pam asked her, and Carli shrugged. Pam's eyes were dark and Carli stared at her.

"I just know that you slept together." The restaurant was crowded and loud, and Carli glanced around, thankful for that fact.

"We need to talk later." Pam said softly, and it was her turn to hold Carli's hand as she stroked it gently. "Maybe I will come to New York to escape. I don't know right now." They ordered dinner and talked of other things as they ate, and Carli was feeling a little better as they left. They talked about what to do next and then Pam stopped and stared at something as tears filled her eyes. Carli followed her gaze and saw a store with a TV showing footage from the explosion, and she bit her lip. It affected her as well, but nowhere near what Pam was going through.

"Come on, Pam." Carli told her, sliding her arm around her and bringing her away from the window of the store. She walked her back to Pam's apartment, where the woman cried harder.

"I'm sorry." Pam apologized, as she sat next to Carli on the couch. "I feel better sometimes, and then it hits again."

"It's alright, Pam." Carli told her, and reached out to stroke her hair. "I am just not used to this. I am used to the meaner you."

"I have been a bit snarky towards you. I am sorry. You are here for me now, and back with Eric." Pam said, looking at Carli as she leaned her head on the couch. "I was that way because I wanted you so badly back then, and I knew that he was getting you. I could not help but touch you that night when I saw you with him on the balcony. I was watching him undress you and I had to see you closer, and then I had to touch you. I expected you to fight me, or even him, but you were so wet and ready to be touched. " Carli shivered slightly as she remembered the night, and she blushed under Pam's gaze. "You did taste good. I didn't lie about that but I was a bitch to you about it. I enjoyed watching you when I was tasting you. I also enjoyed watching him fuck you afterwards, and the way you are together." Carli knew that she was heating up, and she struggled to breath for a moment. Her body ached slightly and she could feel her the moisture between her legs, and she leaned back. Pam reached out and turned her face towards her own, and Carli met her eyes. "I didn't enjoy the night with Eric, or hours as it were. He fucked everyone after you as a punishment for not being you. I am sure the girls that happened to meet him thought they were hitting the jackpot and didn't realize right away, but they all left him. They all stopped it, or he would as he moved on to punish somebody else." Carli felt tears in her eyes, and Pam stroked her cheek. "I know him well, and I had seen him broken for quite some time. We had been arguing heatedly about the business and his shitty attitude, and he looked at me in a different way. He pushed me into the wall and kissed me, and I was surprised but figured I could see what all the fuss was about if nothing else. He didn't take long to take me to his room and I was very surprised when he just started to fuck me." Pam spoke and Carli blinked as her tears continued. "There was no kind of foreplay or tenderness. It was hard and painful. I knew that he was punishing me for your leaving him, as well as punishing himself. I stopped him before he really did some damage and left that night, and moved here a short while after meeting Liz on a visit. I never want to get anywhere near him again, trust me. I like women and he did nothing but ensure that, Carli. He was awful." She moved closer to Carli and stroked her hair. "But with you, he is different. He is passionate and eager, and he wants your entire body before he takes you. I am sure you have had more orgasms from foreplay than sex as I was seeing that night." Pam smiled bitterly. "I thought I might get that Eric." She stroked Carli's hair and Carli looked at her silently, knowing that the pain was evident in her eyes. "Don't worry about his time away from you. He is living with a lot of regret from it, but it is enough that he may never act that way again. He is with you again and that is where he wants to be." Pam's hand slipped down to brush Carli's breast that pressed against the scoop neck of her dress, and Carli heard a sound from her mouth. "I miss touching. I miss comfort. I have felt so alone."

"You're not." Carli said, feeling a weight lift knowing the truth. It hurt knowing that he had been that way, but it was hard to envy that kind of situation. Her desire ebbed just below the surface at the idea of his passion with her, and she slid her hand back into Pam's hair. Her desire jumped as she looked into Pam's eyes and saw the raw need in them, and she found herself moving closer to her. She remembered the feeling of Pam's fingers against her clit and touching her breast, and she pressed her lips to Pam's gently. She tasted the gloss that Pam wore, and she felt Pam slide an arm around her. She felt Pam claim her lips again and she felt the softness and fullness of them as she tightened her hand in her blonde hair. They seemed to deepen it at the same time, and Pam's tongue met Carli's as she moaned gently against her. Carli tightened deep inside and she felt Pam's hand pulling her closer in her hair and the other sliding down to her lower back. Carli gasped and pulled away, and Pam stroked her hair soothingly. "I don't know what to do here. I don't know if this if right."

"Eric knew I wanted to touch someone I knew, someone that I wanted. I don't have it in me to go to a stranger after losing Liz, and I feel better here with you." Pam told her, and Carli looked at her. "I asked him if I could have you tonight, and just tonight. I know that he is yours and that you are certainly his. I will not be rude about it and I will not make you feel badly about it. He specified that you reacted badly to the last time and insisted I mind your comfort level. I just need the warmth of someone I know and trust more and more. I have also fantasized about you since that first night, to be honest." Pam smiled at her and Carli still saw the need that remained behind the smile. "It would bring me happiness and comfort for the time you are here. It is so hard to not be my normal self and feel so broken."

Carli hesitated as she started to slide her hand down Pam's neck, and she looked at her. "Kiss me again. Kiss me, Pam." The woman leaned in and complied, and Carli pulled her closer with both hands. She didn't want to think about right or wrong, and she had to admit that Pam was a very good kisser. They separated to open a bottle of wine, and Carli wandered around the expansive apartment and looked here and there on her break. There were pictures of Liz and Pam scattered about, and Carli looked at the beautiful brunette. She had the deepest brown eyes and full lips and a warm smile, and her and Pam looked happy together. Carli could see why she had been a model. She heard the footsteps behind her, and she glanced back at Pam's sad face. "She was so gorgeous. A beautiful brunette and a beautiful blonde."

"She was. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." Pam said softly, and stared at the picture. Pam slid her arms around Carli as she sipped her wine. It was her second glass and she was starting to calm down and think that this didn't have to happen. "Liz tasted a lot like you." Carli choked on her sip of wine as Pam pulled her closer to her.

"She did?" Carli asked, and felt Pam pull back and unzip her dress. "Pam….."

"Did you like what I did that night?" Pam asked her, and Carli closed her eyes.

"I did." Carli admitted, as her body tightened again. "I don't know what I can do for you though. I don't know much."

"You are a woman and you know what you like. I know what you like." Pam said, and slid the dress off of Carli's shoulders to reveal the black thong and matching bra. She took her hand and pulled her to the bedroom, and Carli sat on the bed nervously. Pam looked at her, and Carli held out her hand to her. She pulled Pam to her and scooted back to give her room, and Pam looked her over as she moved closer to her. She slid her legs over Carli's and moved close to kiss her, and Carli was surprised at the tenderness of it. Their lips met in a rising frenzy as both women began to feel the need, and Carli could no longer separate Pam's from her own. She cried out as Pam unhooked her bra and drew her nipple between her lips, and she moved her hands down to lift the hem of her red dress hastily. She pulled it over Pam's head and took in her cream bra and thong, and their eyes met as they kissed each other again. Pam squeezed her breasts as Carli hesitantly unhooked her bra and pulled it back. She slid her hands over the full breasts and hard nipples slowly, going with her instinct and squeezing the large nipples between her fingers. She had always longed for fuller breasts, feeling that hers were too small. Eric always assured her that was not the case, and Pam seemed to like them a lot too as she dipped her mouth back down to kiss them again. Carli moved back against the pillows as Pam slid over her, and she pulled her closer as she felt her nipple between teeth. She could feel the desire pooling into her thong and she parted her legs and moaned softly as she moistened further. Pam moved to her knees, and Carli felt her fingertips brushing the inside of her leg and up to her thigh. She bit her lip as the fingers slid over the material and teased her, and she looked up at Pam in the dim light of the bedroom. "All of this for me?"

"Touch me." Carli whispered, and Pam slid her fingers deftly under the cloth to Carli's waiting clit. The touch burned her skin and Pam expertly circled her center with a quickening pace as Carli moaned. Carli bucked forward as she felt a finger slide into her and she reached up to cup Pam's breasts tightly as she felt the pressure building inside of her. She came hard and fast, and pulled Pam down to her so that she could take her nipple into her mouth. Carli was rewarded with one long moan and she slid her hands down to trace Pam's ass as she bit down gently. The blonde was toned and smooth and Carli wondered of she was wet as well, and she flipped her onto her back clumsily. She stared down her body and slid her hand slowly over her panties, and Pam's eyes begged her not to stop. They were wet and clung to her folds, and Carli stroked her as she heard her cry in response. She slid her hand down the front of them and used one finger to trace her small clit, up and down and in circles. She was wet and warm, and she writhed under Carli as she yipped and moaned. Carli smiled as she slid her hand down to insert a finger into her and Pam came against her, tightening around her as she bucked her hips forward. Carli liked it and returned to her clit and sent Pam into another frenzy as she teased her.

"You would me an amazing lesbian." Pam breathed, and Carli smiled. "Fuck your not knowing what to do."

"I don't know what to do now." Carli said softly, and Pam smiled at her.

"I want to do to you now. On your back." Pam told her, and Carli complied and watched as Pam spread her legs far apart and dove in. Her tongue stroked Carli slowly and she moaned as she slid her hands into Pam's hair. Her lips sucked her inside and against her teeth, and Carli cried out fiercely as she struggled through the pleasure. Carli came against her mouth as she licked, sucked, and even probed her tongue inside of her and it rocked through her. Pam kissed her stomach gently as Carli relaxed quietly and Carli felt her eyes on her.

"I don't know if I can do that back." Carli said to her, and sighed happily. "I could never top that."

"You're just fine." Pam assured her, and rolled to her back. She drew Carli's hand back between her legs and Carli stroked her as they lay together, and finally Carli rose and moved between her legs. She tested with the tip of her tongue and the taste was hot and a bit sweet, and she stroked harder. She soon had Pam crying out and shaking against her as she rocked through her own orgasm. They rested together on the bed and Pam drew her in for a deep kiss. Their tastes combined and Carli ate it up. "Stay with me. I like holding you." Pam said in the darkness, and Carli snuggled against her. Eric flitted through her mind and she smiled, hoping this was OK. It seemed to be a vicious circle of sex, but she let the sleep take her over anyway.

They woke in the morning, and Carli looked at her. "Morning."

"Any regrets?" Pam asked her, stroking back her hair.

"No. It was very good, and you are very good." Carli told her, and Pam kissed her lips gently.

"Imagine the sex you will have in a couple of days with your man when he asks you for the details." Pam giggled, and Carli looked at her.

"Will he?"

"Eric is a man and they all have their fantasies." Pam told her, and they laughed. They got up and went out to breakfast and then Carli took the phone call releasing her from LA. She scheduled a flight for that night and looked at Pam at the airport. They hugged and Pam thanked her, promising to come to New York soon. Carli boarded her plane and napped lightly all the way home, tired from the long week. She was thankful for the lack of recognition on the flight, and she put her ear buds in and just closed her eyes. Her life was going somewhere that she had never expected, but it was not entirely uncomfortable. It was experience and it was a song at some point. She thought of Eric waiting for her in New York and smiled, wondering how things would really play out once he knew everything. She knew that she just wanted to be in his arms when she stepped off of the plane, and later that night.

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This chapter was quite something. Perhaps I have a Pam fantasy or something? J Or I just want Carli to live a little and perhaps complicate her life more than it already was…

Your thoughts are much appreciated! Thanks for the random adds on this one. I appreciate it.


	15. Redesign

I do not own any True Blood characters, but I do love them all. Now let's get back to sort of a normal life for sweet Carli, shall we?

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Carli felt a gentle nudge, and blinked up at the flight attendant that was waking her up. She smiled and sat up, and the woman smiled warmly at her. "My daughter and I love your band, sweetie. We keep arguing about which album is better, but I prefer the new one. It is a bit deeper and darker, and I appreciate that."

"Oh, thanks so much. I really like the direction it has taken." Carli replied, shaking out her hair.

"You went through a few things to get there. I can hear that in your voice." The woman's voice was thoughtful, and Carli looked at her. She must be about ten years older than Carli, and was pretty and soft.

"We all do." Carli said, smiling wanly. She bid farewell to the fan and walked to the escalator, her eyes searching as she stepped down. She saw him and her breath caught in her throat. He was leaning against a pole in fitted jeans, a button up tan shirt, and flip flops. He looked as good as he possibly could and maybe ever had, and she felt her mouth watering. She held back from running down the moving steps and strolled over to him as she focused on his cerulean eyes that sparkled for her. "Hey, you." Carli greeted him, and he pulled her to him.

"I am glad that you're home. The bed seemed so empty last night." Eric murmured, and she had a flash of whose bed she had slept in. She blinked and stared up at him and he leaned down to brush her lips with his. "Are you hungry, lover?"

Carli was hungry, but the heat coming from him was distracting to her. "Yeah, a bit."

"Let's grab some food and relax." Eric suggested, and they got her bag and they went to his car. She knew that she was recognized, but was not approached by anyone. He opened her door for her, and stroked her cheek as she slid into it. Eric loaded the small trunk with her bags and drove them to their favorite Japanese place. He turned to face her in the car, and she saw the intensity in his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. She slid her hands around his neck and pulled him closer, and moaned as his tongue slid deeply inside of her mouth. Carli was ready to climb into his lap and take him right there, but he pulled away. "Food." Eric spoke in a halting voice, and the need showed clearly in his eyes. They got out of the car and went inside, and he sat close to her, always touching her. Carli talked to some fans scattered about and posed in her terrible yoga pants and tank, smiling as brightly as she could. Eric pulled her back to him, and she looked up at him and he kissed her gently. "I love you." Eric whispered to her, and she smiled. They finished eating and he took her to her house so she could unload, carrying her bags to her apartment as she stretched and yawned. He dropped her bags on the floor and pulled her to the couch, seating her and rubbing her neck hard as she moaned. "So tense." Eric murmured, his hands focusing on her neck and shoulders. "You had quite a week, lover."

"Oh, yeah." Carli replied, and leaned her head forward. "That feels good." He moved his lips to her neck as he slid his fingers down her arms and she moved her head to accommodate him. Her body heated and she slid her hands behind her and over the legs of his jeans. Eric nibbled lightly and she cried out with the tease, and leaned back against him as she brought his hands to the hem of her shirt. He traced up between her breasts over the shirt, and slowly over them as she felt her body's reaction.

"Can I take this off and touch you?" Eric asked her, and she dug her fingernails into his jeans.

"Why do you ask? I have done everything but throw myself at you today." Carli replied, and his hands moved to tug the shirt over her head. He hastily unhooked her bra, and his hands cupped her as he pinched her nipples hard and long as she cried out with it.

"I am making sure that you still want me. I was not sure if you decided that a woman is better to you." Eric murmured, and she could hear his questions in his words.

"A woman is missing something very important." curly assured him, and forced herself around to face him. She slid her hand over the bulge in his jeans and he let out a sound as he stared at her. "A woman cannot drive this into my wet pussy and make me scream like you can." She kissed him deeply, and he moved his hands to grip her ass tightly as they fought for dominance with their tongues in a frenzied heat. He slid his hands down her pants to find her bare and he slid his fingers against her as she cried out and pressed forward. Eric shoved her back and ripped at her pants, and she stared at him as she struggled to breathe.

"Did you let her touch you?" Eric asked her, unbuttoning his shirt and tugging it off as she nodded at him. He slid his hands between her legs to test her wetness and shoved a finger inside of her. "Did you let her taste you?"

"Yes." Carli replied, gripping the couch as she felt him slide it in and out of her with an increasing rhythm. "Oh, god, Eric, bring me." His thumb stroked her clit as she felt the building of pressure inside and she exploded against him, as her body burned and pulsed. He moved between her legs and sucked her into his mouth, licking her juices as she writhed on the couch. She heard him kicking off his jeans and she begged him to be inside of her, to fuck her. Eric yanked her down to him and stared at her as he loomed over her. "Are you mad at me?"

"Did you touch her? Did you lick her?" Eric asked her, his eyes deepening with lust.

"I made her feel better, Eric. I made her forget her pain." Carli told him, and he thrust himself into her deeply. She moaned, and he continued as his body slapped against hers. She was wet and tight around him, but he was relentless, and she cried out with the force. Her body slowly opened to him and she wrapped her legs around him as she begged him for more, and she finally screamed his name as her body released again. It came in waves and she breathed deeply as he continued until he came and dropped on her. Carli remembered Pam's words about the night with Eric, and she closed her eyes. "Is that the way you fucked Pam? Is that the way you fucked everybody?"

"What do you mean?" Eric asked her, his voice harsh and low.

"She told me what happened. You as good as raped her, Eric. You just forced your way right inside." Carli's words were soft and shaky, and he pushed away from her and sat against the couch. "Don't do that to me."

"I did a lot to get you ready today." Eric said defensively, and she stared at the back of his head. She stroked his messy hair and he tensed.

"I get it. You missed me and I missed you. " Carli said soothingly, and she stared at him longer. "Can we ease up a bit and make it a little more tender?"

"I tried to make it up to be by allowing her you for that night. I knew that she was going through a lot and I feel like I contributed to at least part of it. She told me she needed comfort, and I already knew what she was asking for. I knew that she wanted you and always had, especially since the night we…well, you remember. I told her to take caution to your feelings. Did she?"

"Yes. She was very clear about the night and made sure of my feelings. I thought I was alright, but now I am doubting myself as well as you. I thought you wanted this." Carli told him, and he glanced at her. His eyes looked guilty and he looked away. "

"I was jealous last night. I wasn't jealous the first time, but I had no idea what was happening and how it was affecting you. Are you going to be fine with it?"

"Maybe not completely. It was strange for me to be there like that. But she is so broken and she was happy during the time we shared, and I have to feel good about that somehow. Right?" Carli asked in frustration, and curled her knees up to her chest. "You did this out of guilt?"

"Mostly." Eric admitted, and stared at the floor. "I knew that I was hurting others trying to replace you, but I didn't truly care until I hurt her. I didn't want her and I didn't care for her in that way, but that moment she held a connection to you. I was feeling my worst as I watched the rest of my life falling apart, and I chose to try and feel good again through her. I failed miserably and she pushed me away and got out of the apartment, and it was not long after that she moved. I hoped she would not in turn take out anything on you."

"She took out her loss and grief over Liz on me, and Pam is very talented. It was not a bad thing." Carli assured him, and he looked at her. "It was not enough to pull me from you. I never was a thought in my mind. I could not wait to see you today, but now…"

"I could not wait to see you. I wanted to touch you and hold you, and I got a bit carried away. I apologize." Eric told her, and turned around to rest his face against her stomach.

"It did turn you on at least a little right?" Carli asked, and heard him chuckle after a moment.

"As if you could not tell." Eric replied, and traced her hip with his finger. "Of course it did, since I am just a man. I don't want to do this again though. I want it to be us and us only."

"That is what I am used to, and what I want. Well, it was before meeting you in that gallery anyway. I kind of went off track since then." Carli teased him, and he turned his head to look at her. "It does not feel like any of that was me, but maybe it was. Maybe I needed to be crazy or something for awhile. It certainly has contributed to the music."

"It did. I felt a lot of what you wrote after we parted. I was oddly comforting knowing that you were in pain as well." Eric said slowly, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek out of nowhere. "I fancied myself to have imagined all of it, and nearly convinced myself that we really meant nothing to each other. Then I heard the new songs, and it hit me that you felt it too."

"I did. I guess I should not be surprised that he found out. Ryan is not stupid and he knows that I write a lot about my own feelings."

"Why did you continue to sleep with him?" Eric asked painfully, and she shrugged.

"The first time was right after we broke up. He touched me and I responded, and we just did it. I went on tour after that and came home, and he had a new girl he was seeing. When he realized that I was packed and ready to go, he kissed me and I gave in again. What a twisted web, having cheated on him and then he does it with me."

"He loves you." Eric said simply, and she raised her eyebrows as she sighed.

"I am so sleepy from all of this emotional crap. Can we just go and crawl under my covers and sleep it all away?" Carli asked, and he moved slowly up to a standing position and pulled her up. They went into the dark room and buried themselves under the blankets as she pressed against his warm skin. She kissed his chest lightly, nibbling around his small nipple and drawing it into his mouth.

"That will not lead easily to your desired nap, Carli." Eric told her, and told her to lay on her stomach. He traced his finger up and down her spine slowly, and she drifted off to sleep slowly as she felt him press a kiss to her hair. She woke up some time later, and smelled the delicious scent of cooking food. She rolled over and opened her eyes to see that it was three hours later. She gasped and stood up to get a robe and see what Eric was up to. He was wearing track pants and she admired his sculpted torso as she strolled into the kitchen, and he smiled as he caught her heavy gaze. "Chicken marsala, rice, and salad. I thought you might be hungry." Carli remembered Ryan making that sometimes and she smiled as she let the memory pass. She took the glass of wine that he offered her and sipped it, and looked at the food that he was getting onto plates.

"This is so sweet." carli told him, and smiled as he met her eyes.

"We are not having an affair anymore, Car. This is a real, grown up relationship and I intend to treat it as such." Eric told her, and she stared at him. "I love you and I intend to make this much more permanent as time moves on."

"So are you going to spoil me?" Carli asked, and he came over to her and kissed her gently.

"Completely rotten." Eric told her, and smiled. He walked to the shelf and pulled a small wrapped gift from it. "Let's begin with this."

"What?" Carli asked, staring from it to him. He told her to open it and she did, slowly. She tore the silver wrapping away and opened the soft velvet box to see a diamond necklace with a small circle of diamonds that hung on a delicate chain. "Oh my god."

"The circle means eternity." Eric informed her, and she looked up at him. "That is how long I intend to keep you." He took it from her and hung it on her neck, and she turned around to show him as well as kiss him slowly and deeply. They pressed into the counter and she slid her hands under the waist of his pants.

"We can still act like it is a torrid affair, right?" Carli asked him, as he pulled away reluctantly and led her to the small bistro table in the dining room.

"I should hope so." Eric agreed, seating her and moving across from her. They ate and talked, and went for sangria outside down the street. They found a cozy table outside and enjoyed the last bits of fall as they talked and laughed and she greeted a few people. They headed back and she looked up at him as they reached her door.

"Spend the night with me?" She turned her wide eyes on him and he smiled as he unlocked her door.

"Why wouldn't I?" Eric asked her, and she pulled him inside and kissed him. They made their way to her bedroom and lost their clothes slowly and ended up discussing the night before again in a different tone. Every piece of information that she gave him was rewarded with a touch, a kiss, or a lick of his tongue. He finally pushed her to her knees after a long session of heavy foreplay and she felt him slide slowly inside of her. She assured him that she needed him and only him before begging him to take her hard, and soon she was moaning with every thrust of his body. She came in a forceful explosion and screamed out his name in a hoarse voice, as he continued to thrust inside of her until he finished. He fell onto her back as she straightened herself on the mattress, kissing her lower back gently as she panted. He stroked her skin and she smiled as she closed her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you." Carli told him, and rolled back into him as he lay behind her. She traced her necklace and smiled as she felt herself drifting off to sleep. They spent every night together in one apartment or another, even though he did work some nights and got to her a little late. She set up a photo shoot for the band in a couple of weeks as well as a visit to XM, and told him that they would all be coming to visit. They always stayed at her place, and he offered for her to stay with him to offer them more room. She already knew that it could be tense with them meeting him, being close friends with Ryan, and she was uncertain of that idea. The plot thickened when Ryan decided to come with them and hang out. She was completely fine with it as far as the two of them, but she was not sure about the rest of the group. Carli found the day coming quickly where she waited for them at her place, and Eric popped in between jobs to say hello. They ended up in her room ready to make love, when she heard the knock at the door. They both groaned and she pulled on her jeans and tee and went to answer it as she ran a hand through her hair. "Hey!" Carli greeted them, as they all walked in in one line. Two of the guys had brought girlfriends along, and she smiled at them. Carli hugged everyone and gave them an idea of their schedule, and felt Eric's eyes on hers. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Eric." She could see the flash of recognition in a few eyes and she winced inwardly. She ran down all of the names and he shook hands and said hello before walking up and sliding his arms around her waist. She saw the dark look in Ryan's eyes as well as his curiosity. Eric seemed comfortable enough and soon headed out to return to work.

The group went out to eat and brought life to the small diner that they chose. She smiled at Ryan as he sat next to her, and glanced at the table. He looked down at her hand, and she realized that she was tracing the necklace unconsciously. She stopped and sipped her soda and avoided his gaze as she chatted with the girls with a smile. They walked around and then headed back to the apartment for the night, and she went into her room and got a small bag. "Where are you going?" Ryan asked her, stepping inside the room.

"I was going to stay at Eric's and offer up some more room." Carli answered, not looking up. She had changed the sheets just before packing and it was ready.

"You're very cozy with him." Ryan noted, and she shrugged. "Is he the one from before?"

Carli looked up at him and his eyes were set on her face intently, and curiously. "Are we really going to go there?" Her voice was low in respect to her other guests, but her eyes were flashing. "Did you come here to try and get me back in bed? I left that all behind in Chicago, Ry. "

"I remember us ending up in bed a few times there." Ryan reminded her, and she looked away.

"Just move on. Don't come here if it bothers you anymore. I am not going through this every time we see each other, Ryan." Carli told him, returning to her packing. She left him standing there and threw the backpack over her shoulder as she walked into the living room. "I am going to give you guys both rooms to fight over tonight, and hang out at Eric's." Carli told them, and they glanced up at her and Ryan who stood behind her. "Fight over the beds." She walked into the kitchen for some water and Jimmy followed her as she glanced up.

"Brave move flaunting that guy around. Now I know why he was looking at you like that at the station when we saw you guys together."

"Ry is a big boy and he can learn to handle it." Carli responded, her voice low with residual guilt. "I will meet y'all at XM tomorrow? Fourth floor."

"Seven right?" Jimmy asked ,cracking a smile as they both groaned. "Bringing your piece of ass?"

"Only if her is working there as well." Carli replied, winking at him. She hugged everyone goodbye, skipping Ryan as she glanced at him to see him sulking on the chair. She left and closed the door firmly and let out an exasperated moan. She went to the elevator and walked the little bit to Eric's house after stopping for coffee.

"You okay?" Eric asked her, seeing her face the moment she let herself in with the key he had given her the week before. He was in the kitchen fixing something in track pants as always, and she gazed at his naked torso for a long second before she answered.

"Just Ryan. Unbelievable." Carli muttered, and he glanced at her with curious eyes. "I think he actually came here with everyone to sleep with me after everything that has happened."

"Being a part of your past is not an easy thing, lover." Eric said, and she stared at him. "I certainly didn't enjoy the ending of us."

"If we weren't together, would you constantly strive for it? Could you not be happy with friendship? He has always been my friend and I would really miss him terribly if he weren't, but us together is not going to happen."

"A life of being near you without touching you is very hard to imagine for me. I don't think I could be friends with you, at least not right away." Eric mused aloud, and she stared at him.

"Are we friends now?" Carli asked, and he smiled.

"I think we are moving on to that part, but for now we are still circling around the lust that has always been between us. I think that lust and love turn to other things as time goes on." Eric answered, and her body physically agreed with him as she felt her muscles clench when she let her eyes run down his body. "I love the way you look at me like that. I can see you swimming in your want, and it is the same way I feel about you."

"How can you love someone you don't call your friend?" Carli teased him, setting her bag down finally and walking into the kitchen. She glanced down at the masterpiece in the skillet and then back at him.

"I love the woman that I am getting to know. I enjoy being with you in every capacity, but one seems to stand out a bit more than others." He lowered his lips to hers and she melted into him as she slid her hands over the smooth skin of his side and around his back. His skin was warm from the heat of the stove as well as his own body heat, and she felt it through her tee shirt and sighed happily. "How do you love me? Am I your friend?"

"Your perfection in front of my face. You're beautiful…." Carla's voice trailed off, and she stared at him. "But we are both flawed."

"Everybody is." Eric told her, his eyes darkening for a moment. "People need to get over that and accept what it is."

"I am working on that as far as we both go. I am dealing with my flaws this very moment." Carli said, and looked down. He returned to dinner with a sigh and she took her backpack to his room and looked around. It was so big and masculine, and so him. She glanced at the bed and realized that he had been with Pam there as well as many others, and she forced the thought out of her head and replaced it with the memories of them. She heard him call her for dinner and she shook her head and went out to join him, and she smiled as she saw the plates of shrimp scampi and salad on his big table. They ate dinner and she wandered to the bathroom to run a hot bath in his huge bathtub, and he came to the bathroom door to watch her undress and slip into the water. "I am in love with your bathtub."

"It likes you being in it." Eric told her, and she smiled. "Mind if I join you?" She slid forward and allowed him room behind her and leaned against him as he rubbed her shoulders. "Do not be hard on Ryan. I saw the way he was looking at me when we met and I could see his want for you in his eyes. He is harboring feelings for you and he will learn to deal with that. I harbored feelings for you for a year so I understand. I will do everything I can to make us work this time because of that. I know you worry about the past and what happened but it is all over. This moment is what matters now. Being close like this is what I want."

"It is?" Carli asked, and smiled. The room smelled strongly of the vanilla candles she had lit and the steam hung heavy in the air. They lingered in the tub for as long as the water stayed hot, and he dried her off and brushed her hair slowly on the bed. She leaned back and closed her eyes and let the sensation soothe her, and she inhaled the scent that was him. It blended with the vanilla and she felt his hand slide down her back slowly as he leaned in to kiss her shoulder.

"You're beautiful." Eric told her, and she felt the stress slowly fade with his touch. His lips moved to her neck and she in haled sharply as the heat flowed between them. "You get to me in ways that nobody ever has before. Do you remember when we met?"

"Of course. I have never felt such guilt in your life." Carli said, laughing softly. "I have never been struck like that by anybody. Everything about you was…captivating. It was very hard to leave you that day, but I thought I was doing the right thing. Everything I said would happen is, after all. They recognize you and they know and now Ryan has an issue with it. This could turn out awful. But I only wish I had known what he did then so I could have stayed. I could have stayed and we could have avoided so much."

"I would have liked that. That was one of the hardest moments of my life." Eric said, and they looked at each other. "Marry me, Carli. Stay with me forever and marry me." Her eyes widened and she stared at him in silence.


	16. You Love MeI Love You Harder

I do not own any True Blood characters…

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Carli stared at him, taking in his serious expression and his sincere eyes. She wanted to scream yes and jump into his arms as they celebrated, but she held back as she remained quiet. It was too soon, and too awkward right now if she looked at the whole picture. She was already dealing with the aftermath of her choice to be with him, and that would make it so much more stressful. "Can I say yes to saying yes later? When everything is settled and people are comfortable, and I am not dealing with a shit storm of emotions from people around me?" She looked forward and leaned back into him, and he seemed to embrace her uncomfortably. "You make me feel so amazing, but it is so soon and I am just…needing time to think."

"I can understand that." Eric murmured, and she ran her hands over his as she picked up on his hurt feelings. She felt bad and she closed her eyes as she welcomed the warmth of his bare skin against her back.

"I'm sorry." Carli whispered, and she felt his lips brush her neck slowly. She smiled as she shivered, and he moved his hand to lift her damp hair up so he would have more skin. He nibbled gently on her skin as his lips moved over her, and she felt him react as he pressed into her. Carli moaned as her own body heated up and moistened, and she dropped her hands to grip the sheets as she let the sensations hit her. His own hands began to roam over her, and she began to whimper as his hands burned fire over her skin.

"How do you say no when I make you react like this?" Eric asked her, turning her around roughly and staring at her. He kissed her and she slid as close to him as she could as she parted her lips and searched for his tongue eagerly. He complied and slid one hand up and down her back and the other into her hair as they kissed deeply for a few moments. He was getting harder and she was getting wetter, and soon he pushed her back onto the bed and began to kiss down her body eagerly, making her cry out as he drew her nipples into his mouth roughly.

"I love you." Carli cried out as she felt the sheets under her dampen, and him part her legs further as he pressed against her. He responded with a moan as he felt what he was doing to her, and moved down even further. She looked down at his face and met his eyes, and the intensity of them made her slow down and really look.

"Meet me halfway, Carli. Move in with me." Eric told her, and then she nearly screamed as he moved between her legs and did everything that she needed and loved. She cried out as he licked and teased, and sucked and nibbled on her. She did scream when she came hard against him, closing her eyes as the dizziness hit her and she saw black. He moved up and inside of her during that time, and she cried out again as he slid against her tight walls. They were still experiencing small aftershocks and she felt him fill her, burning her as she moaned against his lips as he kissed her. Her taste was all over his mouth and she ate at his lips as he slowly built up the speed of his thrusts as well as the depth. "You feel so good." Eric grunted, before kissing her again. She was open and ready now, and he took her harder and faster all of a sudden as she moaned loud and long. She had just had one hard orgasm, but her body was well on the way to another and she screamed hoarsely as she felt it hit her in long waves. He pushed harder into her tightening walls and made it last before he came, and she whimpered again as he fell against her with his head on her chest.

"Can you make me do that every night if I move in?" Carli breathed as she spoke softly, and lay still with him pressed damply against her.

"I will have a good time trying." Eric replied, and she smiled.

"Let me see if I know anyone that wants a place here in the city." Carli said, and felt him kiss the part of her that was right under him. "I will talk to the guys or something. They need somewhere to hang out here when they visit."

"Maybe Pam." Eric suggested, and she considered that. Pam was still caught up in getting things in order there, and they had not spoken much to her. Carli had offered to come to the service once it was set up, and was prepared to make a flight when she was needed. Pam really wanted to come to New York, but she was trying to do the right thing with the family of Liz. He moved up next to her and cuddled close to her and she felt him kiss her damp hair. They fell asleep together, and she woke up to the sound of her phone. She reached out to hit snooze and then moved close to his naked body, sliding her hand down his arm slowly as she kissed his lips softly.

"I don't want to leave you here." Carli murmured, as she felt him stir.

"Come back tonight. How long is your company visiting?" His voice sounded tired but happy, and he slid an arm around her back.

"A couple nights more. We have a photo shoot tomorrow." Carli replied, and his lips captured hers a little harder this time after she spoke.

"Does that include your ex?" Eric asked, and she sighed as his hand slid down to trace her bare ass slowly.

"I have no clue. I suppose I will find out today." Carli said, her body stirring deep inside. She rolled onto her back and pulled his hand between her legs as she leaned her head back. "Do you mind his being here?"

"Nobody likes someone else wanting their lover, but I am not jealous. I understand his pain." Eric said, his fingers sliding into her wet center. "First thing in the morning, Car?" She moaned as she felt herself responding, and he slid the sheet off of her body. She ended up on top of him after her first orgasm, riding his body hard as she found him hitting her favorite spot. She cried out as a different sensation hit her, and he slid one hand up to her breast as the other gripped her hip. She screamed as she came again, and stared down into his face with blurry eyes as he grunted below her. "I like those kind of wake ups."

"You get to stay in bed, Eric. I have to go to the radio program." Carli said smiling as she slid off of him slowly and leaning down to kiss him.

"I have a luncheon to take care of, but I shall call you later." Eric told her, and she met his lips with hers. "I love you, Carli."

"I love you." Carli told him back, and heard her phone again. She smiled and got out of bed and into the shower, brushing her hair as she stared at the shoulder long length. It needed a cut. She put on a small amount of make up and pulled on jeans and a hoodie, smiling as she saw Eric asleep again. She grabbed her purse and locked the door, catching a cab outside and heading to the station. She was a bit late and hurried to the studio to the chorus of teasing voices from her friends. The guys were set up on the couch and she slid next to Travis, glancing at him. He shot her a curious look and she took a deep breath as she greeted the hosts with a wide smile. They chatted about a possible upcoming tour and the shoot, and moved onto the varied subjects that she was used to. She saw movement outside of the studio, and glanced up to see Ryan. He glanced darkly at her as he entered the studio, and she looked at the floor. She was relieved when it was time for them to do a few songs, and she easily performed their covers as well as three originals. She escaped when she sang, and could disappear into her own world. She realized that they were on a break when they were done, and Ryan slipped out again. "Was he alright last night?" Her soft question was directed at Travis, and she glanced at him.

"A little bitter." Travis told her, shrugging. "You have to understand where he is at, seeing you with him."

"I know, Trav." Carli said, and glanced up to see the eyes of the radio hosts. They were curious and she bit her lip as she glanced back at Travis.

"Everything OK?" Jimmy asked her, and she smiled at the comedian.

"Fine." Carli assured him, diverting him by asking for a cup of coffee. Her previous wake up was diminishing, and she needed the pick me up. She took it when an intern brought it in with a smile and a thank you, and forced her way through the rest of the show. She headed out afterwards, and her band mate Jimmy caught up to her.

"Come to breakfast with us?" Jimmy asked her, and she stared at him. "Carli, we need to figure out a way to work this out."

"I agree, but I don't like the way I feel right now about it." Carli replied, rolling her eyes.

"He's hurt." They walked to the elevators slower behind the others, and her friend stroked her back slowly. "He saw you with someone else and you're happy."

"Does he want me to not have a life? Jimmy, I hate this. I want him to be a friend to me and I want it the way it was."

"Come to breakfast and try to talk to him after." Jimmy suggested, and she groaned as they got onto the elevator. "You are in love with this guy?"

"Yeah." Carli replied, not going into the details about Eric. "I am."

"Well, I am happy for you. I know that you and Ryan were at one time too, but that ended. He does need to man up." Jimmy told her, and she smiled gratefully at him. "It'll be fine."

Carli sat by Jimmy at the diner, and there were enough people at the table to ease the tension. They took a long time to eat as they chatted and met with fans, and then Carli caught up to Ryan on the street. "Hey. Can we talk?"

"I guess."

"I don't know why you came if it was going to be this way." Carli told him, and he looked at her.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." Ryan told her, looking at her for a long moment. "Did you come here for him? You look so happy, and I could tell that we interrupted something by your face and…..it bothered me. I don't want you with someone else yet. I don't want to see how you are with the guy you fucked behind my back."

"Ryan." Carli sighed aloud, closing her eyes. "I did not come here to run back to him. I came here to just start over, and I saw him and I knew…I knew that I still loved him. I knew that I wanted to be with him, and I am. Just grow up and get over it already. You were dating someone else and I was fine with it."

"Yeah, and look who I ended up in bed with again. You. Always you." Ryan shot back at her, and they stared at each other. "I need to move past still loving you, Car. I am going to book a flight home and just take some time." Ryan walked away and she watched him, surprised and saddened. She caught Travis's glance and looked down as she turned and walked the other way down the street. She let the loss of her best friend for years hit her, and wiped a tear from her cheek. She ended up back at Eric's after some walking, and crawled into his empty bed to sleep for awhile. She woke up to a hand tracing her shoulder and sliding her hair back, and blinked her eyes slowly.

"Eric?" Carli asked groggily, and turned slowly to look at him. "How was work?"

"Just fine, Carli. How was the show?" Eric asked curiously, stroking her face as he looked into her eyes.

"Ryan is leaving and does not want to see me for awhile." Carli said in a glum voice, and looked at him. "He is not stupid and knows who you are. I just have had him in my life forever and I feel a bit lost."

"He'll calm down, lover. I know what he is going through." Eric said, then smiled wistfully. "Though we haven't the history that you do with him and I feel relatively new in your life."

"That may be true, but I love you. You can be my best friend, right?" Carli asked, and he looked at her. "I require it if we are going to live together."

"Take a shower and let's go to dinner." Eric told her, and she took a deep breath and pushed herself up. She looked at him and he kissed her gently, and she smiled against his lips. He was so comforting. She made her way to the shower and changed into some clean clothes and they headed out for a casual dinner. They ran into her band without Ryan afterwards, and ended up going to see a friend's band with them. They got to know Eric and everyone seemed to warm up to him before the show as Carli enjoyed a few drinks to loosen up. She ran to the front to dance with her guys and loved watching the bands and chatting with them after. Eric hung out at the bar, and she ran up and hugged him after the show as he caught her in his arms. He smiled at her and she kissed him, hard and longingly.

"Sorry I kinda ditched you." Carli apologized, and smiled after the extended kiss.

"You had a good time and you needed this. You looked pretty hot up there." Eric told her, and kissed her again as she moaned against his mouth. "You are such a vibrant girl and I love that about you. I love that you are so young and full of life."

"Eric." Carli said, blushing at his deepening tone.

"Did you save some of that for later tonight?" Eric's voice made her tighten lower in her body and she stared into his darkening blue eyes.

"Always." Carli replied, breathing deeply as her body overtook her mind a bit. She came back to reality and glanced over to see her band looking at her, and smiled sheepishly as she blushed. They stepped forward and she turned to face them, smiling as Eric kept one arm around her.

"We are going for some after show food. You guys want to join us?" Jimmy asked, and she grinned widely at him.

"That would be great." Eric replied smoothly, stroking her lower back. "Sound good, Car?"

"Yes." Her reply was instant, and they all headed out to a local all night place. Eric talked about his job and that led to XM, and she burst with happiness inside when they got along. She leaned against him as he chatted, taking sips of her shake slowly as she took in his warmth. They all headed out after their meal, relieved that they had a quiet night without a lot of fans, and she hugged them all tightly.

"You look really happy." Travis and Jimmy both told her, and she smiled at them.

"Actually, I might be moving in to his place and that would free up mine. Interested?" Carli asked them, and they glanced at each other.

"Let us look at some numbers. Maybe we could at least make it a band hang out." Jimmy replied, and looked into her eyes. "You deserve this, Carli."

"Thanks." He shook Eric's hand and glanced at her as he told him to take care of their girl, to which Eric agreed. She walked up and took his hand as he smiled down at her, and they walked back to his apartment and talked softly. He unlocked the door and she reached up to hug him tightly, and whispered that she loved him before walking inside.

"Tonight went well. I like your friends." Eric told her, and she laughed softly as she thought how well they had gotten along. "I don't know how they cannot want you as I do, but I like them."

"They have known me since I was that awkward teenager. It's better that way. I could not handle more Ryans in my life. They didn't even mention him, so I guess he left. He would have been with them otherwise." Carli said thoughtfully, and felt his lips capture hers gently. "I just want to focus on me, on us." She pulled him down for another kiss and that one deepened slowly, and she slid her hands into his hair to pull him closer.

"Were you ever an awkward teenager?" Eric asked her, pulling away slightly.

"Of course. I still feel that way now sometimes." Carli told him, and smiled. "I am sure that you were always this hunky though."

"Hunky?" Eric questioned her term, and she giggled a little.

"Yes, hunky. It is the only reason I am with you, you know." Carli continued her teasing, and stared into his gorgeous face.

"As flattering as that statement is, I do hope it isn't the truth." Eric told her, and she let him pull her close for another kiss. She got lost in her thoughts and realized that he had not presented himself well as a person much of the time. He was sweet to her when they were together, and would do nearly anything to make her happy. There was so much that could still bother her. He had very willingly cheated with her in the beginning, and a girl could question whether or not he was going to be the same way when somebody else came along. They had both slept with Pam, which was just a strange thing to wrap her mind around. As the kiss deepened and his arms tightened around her body, she could not deny the attraction that they had. She slid her hands to the front of his jeans and unbuttoned them, and he growled against her lips. She slid them down when she was finished, finding him bare and very ready as she slid her hand around him. "No touch has ever meant what yours does to me. No woman has ever gotten to me the way you do, or felt the way that you do." Eric's words made her look at him, and his eyes locked with his. He captured her lips as she began to move her hand up and down his shaft, and then she felt him take her by the shoulders and push her to her knees. She stared at his face, at his eyes as they deepened. Carli looked at his tip that was in her face and drew him slowly inside her mouth. She heard him moan and she drew him further, tightening her mouth around his large size. His hands gripped her hair as he held her head, and she teased him further. She used her lips, tongue, and a slight hint of teeth as he swelled inside of her and then he twisted his hands into her hair painfully and began to thrust himself into her mouth. She cried out as she accepted him, feeling her dampness pool into her panties as she took all of him deep into her throat. Carli knew she was in trouble he twitched and came inside of her mouth and deep down her throat, and she swallowed it as if her life depended upon it to survive. She knew that she would take him again and again, and she felt him yank her back by the hair gently and meet her wide eyes. She knew that she loved him, be it sick at this point or not. Eric pulled her up by the hands and led her to the bedroom, and she stood in front of him as he pulled off her jeans. He pushed her onto the bed and finished taking them off, and pulled her shirt above her head. Eric moved in front of her and she stared at him as he stroked her cheek pushed her hair back.

"What is it?" Carli asked him, her voice almost echoing in the dark room.

"I watched you tonight closely. I watched you with your friends as you danced and looked so young and happy. I watched your ass move in your jeans and wanted to bury my cock in it as I watched you do that, and I started to piece together the woman that I love. I saw the Carli that you show to your fans that I have seen so much of, and the Carli that loves her friends, and I saw the Carli that will give herself to me. I saw the Carli that will let me dominate her and fuck her in the mouth because I want her that badly. Do you think anyone else can see that Carli underneath the rest?" His words were slow and thoughtful, and she shivered as he moved his hand to her bare shoulder. "I have fucked a lot of women, Carli. I have never met someone that holds me the way that you do, and I never want to let that go. I want to thrive in it and let it take me over the way I want it to, and I want you to let it take you over as well." His hand unhooked the front of her bra and her nipples hardened in the air as she breathed deeply. Eric slid the bra off and his hands slid over her breasts and teased her nipples as she closed her eyes and felt her desire washing over her. "You know what I want from you tonight, Carli. Turn around and bend over."

"I'm scared, Eric." Carli admitted, and looked at him.

"I'll take care of you." Eric promised her, and she nodded and moved to her knees. Eric slid his hands around her thighs and teased her with his fingers as she moaned and bucked against him.

"Fuck me, Eric." Carli begged him, giving in to her primal need for him. She felt the pressure between her legs and she cried out as she came, feeling it in long waves. She dimly heard the sound of a drawer opening and then his fingers slid up and between her cheeks, stroking her as she moaned softly. She felt him insert his finger into the tightest of openings and she cried out as he slid it further.

"Now I will fuck you." Eric positioned himself and replaced his finger with his slick tip, pushing gently as she felt the sweat pool in her hair. He edged his way deeper inside of her and she found herself moving against him to bring him further inside. He began to fuck her slowly and steadily and she felt his hand slip between her legs as she moaned. He teased her clit in fast circles as moved inside of her and she found herself coming again. It dripped lightly onto his fingers as she cried out, and she felt him thrust hard and cry out her name.

"How can that feel so good?" Carli asked the air, as she breathed deeply. "So tight and so much pressure, but so good."

"Your ass is gorgeous." Eric told her, sliding out of her as she collapsed onto the mattress. "You're gorgeous."

"You're turning me into a whore." Carli said, curling up into the fetal position as her body throbbed.

"I could never be this much in love with a whore." Eric assured her, and she felt his hand in her damp hair. She felt his lips on her shoulder and her neck and she shuddered as he caressed her. She was in so much trouble.


	17. Identity

I do not own any True Blood characters,

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Carli woke up to the alarm the next morning, wrapped tight in Eric's arms. She moved to shut off the song, and realized that she was sore in a few places as she winced. The night had ended with a hot shower shared by them, and rough sex as he pinned her against the wall as well as in his bed a little while later. She had been exhausted and spent after the first round, but his fingers and lips were very persuasive when he wanted them to be. She slowly removed his arm and sat up, glancing at him as she did. He was stunning against his cream sheets, and she bit her lip as she took in his near nude body. Carli winced again and stood up, regretting a late night before a shoot and interview. She glanced in the mirror and the only redeeming quality about her was her freshly colored red hair with a few deeper chunks of burgundy for good measure. Her eyes looked like they had circles and she groaned inwardly. Carli took a very long shower, making it as hot as she could stand it. She moved in the shower, letting the water run over every sore part as best she could and removing part of the shower head for other places. She found herself thinking back to the night before and she aimed the water right between her legs as she felt a hint of desire, and then shook her head. "I hate you, Eric." Carli murmured, removing the water despite the fact that it felt good. In truth, she loved him. She loved him but she knew that it could be unhealthy, and she sighed audibly. Carli finished up and simply brushed her hair out and dressed in leggings and a tee, with a hoodie zipped up to keep her warm against the cooling fall air. Carli slid her feet into her black boots and glanced at Eric again, watching as he rolled over in his sleep. "I love you." Carli whispered, pulling the door closed and walking to the elevator. She went down and caught a cab, seeing the others arriving as she pulled up to the curb.

"Late night?" Jimmy asked her, and she just looked at him.

"Going out last night was not the most stellar idea we have ever had." Carli replied, and he smiled. She knew that she had gotten to Eric's in time to get some sleep, and she blushed a little as she looked at the sidewalk. Her friends looked curiously at her and she let them lead the way into the building, quiet until they got to the magazine office where she talked cheerfully and shook hands. She could turn on happy Carli on a dime. She didn't miss the look the make up artist gave her, but once she had short pigtails in and bright make up on she looked a lot better. Her eyes popped with the colors and she smiled gratefully at the petite girl. Carli went to change into the short red dress they handed her, and buttoned the front of it up to an acceptable level, and slid her feet into the chunky heels. She met back up with the guys and they posed inside as well as a few outside locations, driving with the photographer around town. Carli huddled under a blanket when she was not posing, covering herself up tightly to stay warm. They went back to the office for a quick lunch and then sat down with the writer. He asked some questions that made her think a bit deeper than she wanted, and she frowned slightly at the mention of Ryan's name. she answered everything with the idea in mind that the fans needed positive as well as truth, and hid a few true thoughts. Eric was brought up and she blushed as she bit her lip and glanced down. She only admitted to seeing him for a couple of months and that things were just fine. Carli was exhausted when she was finished and changed out of the clothes, keeping the make up and ponytails as she pulled on her original clothes inside of the dressing room. She knew that Eric would be working when she got back, and she decided to sleep at his apartment for awhile. Carli did join the guys for lunch and then headed back to crawl into bed after pulling off most of her clothes. She woke up to a hand stroking her face and moved onto her back under the covers as she moaned.

"You should wear ponytails a lot more, Carli. Very sexy." Eric whispered to her, and she felt him kiss her hair.

"Doesn't it make me look young?" Carli asked, knowing she already did anyway.

"That is part of it." Eric's lips captured hers and she allowed his mouth to devour hers, sighing happily as he sucked her full lower lip between his teeth slowly. "Are you sore at all, lover?"

"Little bit." Carli replied, and he brushed his lips over hers as she waited.

"Sorry." Eric told her, moving beside her on the bed. He slid his hands under the sheets and over her barely covered body and she felt the desire beginning to flow through her. "You felt so good last night. I wish we could make love again." He took her hand that was on her pillow and moved it down her body between her legs. "Touch yourself for me. I want to hear you make yourself come."

Carli could feel the heat that flowed through her underwear, and she moved her fingers over them as Eric slid the sheet down to watch her. She slid her legs apart and slid her hand down the front of her panties as she moaned softly, stroking her rapidly dampening folds. He stroked her stomach as she did and she felt him move his fingers over her tank top and her hardening nipples. He urged her on in his low voice, and the sound of it made her shudder. She knew where this was going, and the idea of it in her mind seemed to excite her as she felt the pressure building up within. One hard stroke later over her clit and she cried out with the orgasm as it hit her, leaning her head back. She felt Eric move beside her, and suddenly he was filling the space between her legs with his mysteriously nude torso and expert tongue. Carli moaned as he licked and sucked all of her moisture out of her, coming again against his demanding mouth. She begged him to take her, and breathed as she felt him slide over her.

"Are you sure?" Eric's voice moved over her, and she opened her eyes. He was obviously hard and ready as she felt him pressing almost into her, and she slid her hands up his back slowly. "I do need the release, lover, but there are other ways."

"Fuck me, Eric." Carli told him again, and he slid inside of her as she gasped. Her sore opening protested silently for a moment, and she winced as she felt herself getting used to him. She remembered him last night fucking her very hard after the first time, obviously turned on after their new venture. He slid over her sore walls, and she finally focused on pleasure as he leaned back slightly and hooked her leg over his shoulder, hitting her sweet spot inside. He took it slow at first, but deep, and she moaned as his thrusts grew more aggressive, finally screaming his name hoarsely as she came for a third time. Carli felt like she was always screaming his name, and her head spun as he fell beside her. She could never say no.

"I realize your friends are leaving tomorrow, and I was wondering if you would like to have them over for dinner beforehand." Eric said in the dimly lit room, and she blinked.

"Really?" Carli asked, and looked at him.

"Yes, really. We could grill salmon and make some veggies. Get some wine." Eric told her, giving her a strange look.

"I'll call them." Carli said, sitting up slowly. She pulled on some pants that were on the floor and found her phone in her purse, calling them to ask. They agreed and she told Eric, who pulled on some clothes to run to the store. Carli cleaned up and got dressed in some leggings and a tee, and made the bed as she stared at it. She had spent so much time in it, so much energy spent trying to get her fill of him. She shook her head and lit some candles, glancing outside to see the weather overcast still but not raining. Eric came home and put the food in the fridge until it was ready to cook, and walked over to her and hugged her.

"I love you." Eric told her, and she looked at him. "Thanks for cleaning up."

"Of course." Carli replied, and he smiled at her. His eyes caught the candlelight and she stared at his mesmerizing face, remembering the first time she had seen it. "I love you, Eric."

"Good." He bent down and kissed her with lingering lips and she pulled him close to her. The doorbell rang and they laughed as they parted, and she went to answer it. The guys and a couple of the girlfriends entered, and she hugged them with a big smile. Eric greeted them and Jimmy went outside to the grill with him after getting a glass of wine, and Carli hung out with the girls in the kitchen steaming a bunch of vegetables and making a salad. The others gathered in front of the big screen TV and some hockey game, and Carli laughed to herself. She remembered nights at the Blackhawk games and their insanity over it. She was spooning the food into a wide bowl when she heard the slider open and she looked up to see Eric coming in as he laughed over something with Jimmy. He caught her gaze and she sucked in her breath at the heat in it, and dropped her spoon onto the counter. Jimmy glanced at her, and she picked it up quickly and finished.

"He gets to you a lot." Jimmy's longtime girlfriend noted aloud, looking at Carli's face. "The intensity between you is something to see. It's nice, Carli."

"Yeah." Carli replied, staring at the variety of vegetables in the bowl. "It is also a bit scary at times."

"Nothing has to be permanent." Lisa told her in a low voice, and Carli looked at her. They set the food out buffet style on the counter and Carli busied herself getting plates and silverware ready, finally sitting with Eric and the girls at his table while the band watched sports. Carli sipped her wine and thoroughly enjoyed her food, feeling Eric's gaze on her from time to time as she ate slowly. They all ended up in the living room and an upcoming tour was brought up, beginning a month and a half from then, and just after the holiday. Eric glanced at her and she listened to the details as she avoided his gaze, realizing what a good idea it was and not willing to let him see that in her face. They wanted to work on writing for their new album in the meantime, and she had already been jotting down things for that. She agreed to come to Chicago a week before the tour to practice together and then head out on the road, and she got up to go to the bathroom as the conversation finished. The few glasses of wine were hitting her in more ways than one, and she laughed as she stumbled a little. She left the bathroom in the master bedroom, shutting the light off and bumping into someone in the dark.

"Leaving me so soon, lover?" Eric voice was low, and she reached up to grab him to avoid falling down.

"You knew what I did before we ever got involved." Carli reminded him, and felt his lips brush hers.

"That is true, but I despise the idea of your absence for a couple of months." Eric told her, and she slid her arms around his neck.

"It is work, nothing more. It is what I love doing, Eric." His lips brushed hers again, and she searched for his tongue with her own as he held them there.

"I am going to make you remember me when you are gone, beginning with tonight." Eric promised her, and she felt him press her into the wall. They both became aware of their surroundings soon, and she pushed him away as she said she was getting back to their guests. She fixed her hair and face in the mirror and walked past him, grabbing her glass of wine as the guys hollered over a goal in the living room. She rolled her eyes at the girls, and settled back as she felt Eric sit beside her. She didn't look at him, but shuddered slightly as he took her hand and held it tightly. They finished the game and Travis picked up the guitar she had over there for writing, and began to strum it. He had a look on his face and she frowned as he strummed a familiar tune.

"Trav?" Carli asked softly, and he looked at her. It was the song that Ryan had written for him, and the one she had performed with Ryan at XM. She knew then that he was feeling more of Ryan's pain than anybody, and she looked at him. She started to sing the words and he smiled a small smile as she did, and added his voice to the chorus. They shared something in that song that they didn't speak of, and then he moved on to Toxic. She met Eric's gaze during that one, knowing that it could have been written by her about him. It turned into a jam session as it most always did with them, but she liked working her voice out a little bit. She also settled better emotionally when she sang, and she felt lighter when her friends left for the night and left New York the following morning. She said goodbye sadly, missing living by them as she hugged each one of them. Living far apart was difficult at times, and she slid her arms around Eric's torso as she closed the door and took a deep breath. "I miss them."

"Any regrets about moving here?" Eric asked her, and she shrugged. "Any regrets about being here with me?"

"Not completely, but we scare me." Carli admitted, and pressed her face into his chest.

"We?" Eric asked her, and she pressed her lips into his button up shirt.

"The way we are. The person I have become since meeting you." She slid her hands down to tug the shirt out of his jeans, and over his bare skin. "The way my heart and body crave you. I felt a comfort in Chicago that I miss. I miss my friends, but I physically crave you in a way that might never let me leave you."

"Have you ever thought that I felt that way about you from the first touch, lover?" Eric asked her, tangling his hands into her hair. "Have you ever considered what you have done to me?"

"Anything like what I am feeling?" Carli asked, and he sighed aloud.

"Yes, Carli. I love you so very much, but you do torment me a little bit." Eric assured her, and she lifted her face to look at him. She unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off, initiating everything for the remainder of the night. She slept pressed tightly against him, feeling sleepy and tired of thinking for the night.

Carli focused on writing after that, staying mostly at Eric's. It worked out when Pam came back after her life was back in order and needed a place to stay while she looked for one. Eric was in no hurry, since it kept her at his house, and she knew that she was leaving anyway in just awhile. She spent time with him when he was not working, and they seemed to go on more dates than before. He took her to good places to eat in New York, and they frequented the movie theatre she had grown to love. They spent equal amounts of time in his bed, and she found that he claimed every part of her body now. She gave it all to him, and he favored every part of her. She wrote when she was alone, and her and the band communicated every way possible during that process. It was irritating not to just go over to someone's house and sit together instead of skyping or calling. She spent time with Pam here and there, and they became friends on some level as the time ticked away. She was at the theatre with Eric one night after a great dinner, and she was relaxing against him with her leg hitched over his as the room darkened and the previews started. She turned her face to his and found his lips in the dark, and sucked his lower lip into her mouth. "Don't start something you can't finish." Eric whispered to her, and she slid her tongue into his mouth. He placed his hand on her leg, and began to slide it under her skirt as she felt herself heating up. "You want to try and hold back a scream in this room, Carli?"

"Try me." Carli whispered, and he raised an eyebrow at her as he looked at her. She bit her lip as he slid his talented hands over her thigh and under the lace of her thong, She stared at the movie screen and jumped when it got especially bright in the room, hearing him chuckle softly. It darkened again and he increased his pace and she breathed deeply as she fought the sensations flowing through her. "Almost there." Her voice was low as she spoke aloud, and he slid his finger inside of her. She came at that moment, and gripped his leg tightly as she remained silent through it all. They could not stay for that movie and ended up at home making love fiercely as she moved over him, before he flipped her over. They fell asleep tangled up in each other, and she woke up with the now familiar soreness. She ended up alone most of that day as well as others, since Pam was getting accustomed to the business again and he was insistent on being there. Eric was irritated with her lack of motivation towards the business, and it showed at home. He was fond of using sex to release his emotions, and she didn't know if she should speak to him after a couple of rough nights. She was hitting a roadblock herself in writing and watched movies on her downtime, basking in her writer's block.

One night, she was sitting with her notebook in front of her and a movie playing in the bedroom. She had lit a fire and was sitting in bed in a tank top and underwear, with the blankets loosely around her waist. Her phone rang and she dreaded another call from her band about what she was not writing, and she glanced at it with anxious eyes. "Pam?" The woman asked if she could come and hang out with her and that the empty apartment down the block was depressing. Carli grudgingly agreed and got up to pull on a robe as she went to get the door. One look told her that Pam was tipsy, and she raised an eyebrow at the pretty blond.

"You look far too much like Eric when you do that." Pam informed her, stepping in and looking around. It was clear that Carli was not hanging out in the living room, and Cali rolled her eyes as Pam walked into the bedroom.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Carli asked her, tipsy herself on some wine she had drank earlier.

"He sent me home when I had a glass of wine with a girl." Pam said in a glum voice, sliding off her wet jacket.

"A glass?"

"Okay, several. She was very hot and I haven't been with a woman since….well, you know." Pam said, and Carli blushed a little. "I am going to take a shower and warm up." She walked into the large bathroom and pushed the door closed to a crack, and Carli sighed. She heard the water start and she stared at the movie again as she glanced down here and there at the blank paper. She jumped when she felt Pam slide onto the bed behind her, and slide her arms around waist.

"Pam, you know he just wants you back at work again. Eric has been busting his ass running it alone, for the most part, and he needs some help." Carli told her, realizing that the tour in two weeks was not helping matters.

"I am adjusting, Carli. He should know that." Pam said in a petulant voice, and she moved her hands over the knot in Carli's robe. She slid it open and pulled the neck back to kiss the back of carli's neck, and Carli froze.

"What are you doing?"

"I am a little tipsy on wine and a lot horny." Pam informed her, and Carli grabbed her hands. "I like your body, Carli."

"It was a one time thing, Pam." Carli reminded her, and Pam laughed casually.

"He is at work for awhile, and I am sure that he would not mind walking in on something." Pam told her, and slid the robe off of her. She moved in front of Carli and the loose robe showed her bare skin as she leaned in close to kiss her. Carli wanted to protest but she found herself kissing Pam in return, and her hand slid around her head into her tangled hair. Pam moved closer to Carli as she spread her legs with her knees gently, sliding her hand over her tank slowly to cup her breasts. "I guess he is taking out his frustration with me on you. He must be fucking you good and hard these days." She laughed a little bitterly. "I have been on that end of things, so I hope he is being good to you." Pam kissed Carli again and slid her hand down to Carli's legs as she pushed the robe open further. Carli wanted to stop her, and she reached down to do so. But she only pulled Pam's hand further up to her thigh, and she moaned when the hand brushed her underwear. "That's my girl." Pam slid her fingers under the material and Carli took a deep breath as she found her own hand moving to Pam to touch her under her robe. She was naked and Carli traced her nipples with her hand, feeling them harden instantly. She felt Pam stroking her and she whimpered as her body took care of any doubts and responded. Pam slid a finger inside of her, and Carli moved against it as she slid her hand down to touch Pam. She was very ready, and she thrust her finger in Carli as she felt Carli's fingers on her. The girls continued to touch and tease, and soon Carli cried out as she came. She was over the edge of her mental cliff now and knowing who she was just never seemed possible, and she felt Pam push her back onto the mattress and slide the underwear down her thighs. She had already had an orgasm herself, quickly and hard.

"Well, well. You just had to come over and finish it off with my girlfriend." Eric's voice broke their moment, and Carli gasped and looked at him. His eyes were deep blue, and she could see the anger in them. He stepped closer and it turned to lust as he looked them over in the light of the TV and the fire, and Pam continued to move down between Carli's legs without missing a beat. She slid her tongue inside of Carli, and Carli could not help but cry out. Eric sat down and watched quietly, and Carli could not focus on him as the talented mouth worked on her, and she cried out as the pressure built inside of her again. She heard Pam moan, and she opened her blurry eyes to see Eric's hand under the robe that loosely covered her body. She could only assume that he was touching her, and the way that Pam whimpered made it clear, but Carli was too close to care at that point. She came hard and long and bucked her hips forward and threw her head back. Pam began to moan in earnest and Carli watched Eric's arm move against her, and she knew that he had his finger inside of her. She was all too familiar with the feeling. Pam bucked and cried out loudly, and crawled over Carli's body as she came again, her lips seeking out her nipples under her shirt. "Your turn, Carli." Eric told her, and Carli looked at him. "I want you to eat her pussy now, and I want to touch you as you do." He stood and unbuttoned his shirt, and she could see the bulge in his pants.

Carli turned Pam over easily, since she was spent at that moment. She touched her, feeling the wetness and let it sink in that her boyfriend had done some of that. Pam begged her to go down on her, and Carli parted her legs and moved in. Pam was hot and sweet as she licked her, and she moaned in response. Carli felt Eric's hand over her ass and then his fingers on her clit, and she cried out. She came as he continued, and she tried to focus on her own task. Pam was into rough foreplay and Carli gave her that, feeling Eric move behind her on the bed and move inside of her. He urged her to finish Pam, as he moved slowly in and out of her, and Carli did it with one long stroke of her tongue as Pam writhed under her and cried out. Eric began to fuck her then, deep and hard, and Carli went face first into Pam's robe as she cried out with it. He spread her legs further and increased his pace, and Carli felt him slide across her sweet spot and she screamed as the sudden orgasm flooded her. She felt him pull out of her and further collapsed on her friend, as Pam stroked her hair. "That makes me wish I wanted a turn." Pam remarked dryly, and Eric chuckled as he moved into the bathroom.

Carli sat up as she recovered and pulled the robe over her body. She sat next to Pam, who snuggled in her own robe and closed her eyes wearily and with a smile on her face. Eric came back out, but Carli could not look at him. She pulled the robe closer and he looked down at her, finally sitting beside her. "What is it?" His voice was cautious, and she felt him stroke her messy hair. She moved away and he tilted his head.

"What am I? Who am I?" Carli murmured, and shook her head. She had the urge to run away and the idea of her empty apartment sounded great right then. She moved forward and off the bed, trying to find clothes. She found jeans and went to get fresh underwear, cringing as she pulled them on over the mess between her legs.

"Where are you going?" Eric asked her, and she glanced up to see the pain in his eyes. "I let you finish what you wanted to do. I only made love to you."

"I need to get out of here for awhile, Eric. I need to figure myself out." Carli told him, not even caring that she was leaving a sleeping Pam there.

"You just enjoyed a sexual encounter. That is all." Eric told her, and she yanked on her jeans. "Why are you making so much of it?"

"I wish it was so simple." Carli said, pulling a hoodie over her tank top and covering her head. She went out into the living room to pull on shoes and heard her phone ringing. She stared at her purse, but he was trying to hold onto her.

"I love you, Carli. Don't leave like this." Eric told her, and she shook his hands off. "We need to talk about this."

"Later." Carli shot back, hearing the ring of her phone again. She grabbed her purse and walked out, letting the tears slide down her cheeks as she shut the door. She had missed that call as well, but she pulled the phone out of her purse and she hit the button for the elevator. All calls were from Jimmy, and she hit the button to call him back. She asked him what was going on when she was on the elevator, and his words made her nearly forget what had happened. She felt bigger tears slide down her face as her mind and body went into shock, and she stepped off of the elevator as she spoke quietly with him. They talked for a few minutes, both stunned, and she hung up and took a deep breath. She started to call for a cab, but she heard Eric's voice and she glanced up slowly.

"I will allow you your time, but I insist on driving you home." Eric told her, and took a closer look at her. "You look so pale, Carli. What is it?"

"Let's go. I need to get to my apartment and pack." Carli said, pulling up the airline website on her phone as her mind moved forward to what she needed to do. She walked with him to his car, and finally looked up at his confused face.

"Where are you going?" Eric asked her, and she saw the surprise in his eyes. "Did this make you want to leave?" He opened her door for her and she slid in, sighing out loud as pain began to hit her all over. He hurried to his side and started the engine, and she wiped another set of tears away.

"I am going to Chicago as soon as possible." Carli told him, and stared forward. "Ryan…..got into a car accident earlier tonight. Everyone is going for the funeral, and if we do tour, it starts right after. I need to be there now."

"I'm very sorry, Carli. I know he meant a lot to you." Eric said, stroking her cheek as she brushed his hand away. "I do not want you to leave like this. I want to work things out."

"I can't even think about that right now." Carli snapped at him, and finally started to cry. "I just lost one of the most last normal things about my life, Eric."

"Fine. I can see it isn't going to happen tonight." Eric said, pulling away from the curb. They drove in silence and she was out of his car the second he pulled up to the curb. She ran inside of her apartment, and booked a flight four hours from then. Carli yanked her suitcase up onto the bed and tried to calmly add what she needed for a funeral and another two weeks to it, but she ended up sinking to the floor crying into her hands. She would always remember that he was not speaking to her when he died, and she hated that. She finally calmed down and finished packing, dropping what she needed from the bathroom. She could see Pam's things set about here and there, and she wondered dimly if she would continue to stay there. She knew that she was asleep at Eric's at that moment, and it stung. Carli stubbornly decided that she could stay there if she wanted, since she was possibly going for a few months. She was done with it for now, and she hated feeling as insecure as she did at that moment. Carli took a shower to clean herself up, pulling on leggings and a tee shirt, with a hoodie over that. She braided her too long hair and pulled the hood over that, not bothering with make up at all. Carli sent texts to her friends in Chicago telling them her flight info, and then got one from Eric.

I love you, Carli, and I am here for you. Call me if you need anything at all. I will miss you, and I am sorry for what happened.

Carli sighed and pushed that particular pain behind the pain of her loss. It was all she could focus on and she rested her head on her knees as she sat on the couch in her empty living room and waited until she needed to call a cab for the airport.


	18. Never Know, Never Say

I do not own any True Blood characters. I only put them into smutty situations and through emotional drama.

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Carli sat alone until she had to leave, and called for a cab. She checked her stuffed suitcase and left her apartment, locking the door behind her before heading to the elevator. It was still dark outside and she stood inside of the lobby until the cab pulled up. Carli headed outside and the driver hopped out and helped her with the suitcase, loading it into the car after giving her a curious look. They drive was quiet and the airport was refreshingly empty, as she walked through with her hoodie pulled up and her faux glasses on. She seemed to not be noticed, and got on the flight without any forced conversation with anybody. Carli settled into her seat after shoving her backpack under the seat in front of her, and closed her burning eyes. She was relieved when the plane took off and she was alone in her row, and she got as comfortable as she could and closed her eyes. No sleep that night and the emotions she went through were catching up to her, and she dozed during the short flight to Chicago. Carli did not want to have an episode on the plane, so she was careful to keep her emotions in check when she was awake. She got a text from Jimmy saying he was there to get her as she landed, and she sighed as she realized that now it would be hard. She would have to see Ryan's family, and they were as close to her as they could be without her being a blood relative. There was Travis, who she knew was devastated. Carli walked through the airport, seeing the morning sun shining through the windows, and she looked at it with some false hope. It was a fall day in Chicago and sunny, and it should mean something. She focused her eyes forward and her eyes searched for Jimmy, and her heart sank as she saw his face. He looked stressed and tired, and she suddenly felt guilty for the untimely flight. They hugged tightly, and she glanced over at the television screen above his shoulder to see Ryan's face with the announcement of his death, and she closed her eyes. "It didn't take long to get all over the news, did it?"

"No. His parents are going to be going crazy soon." Jimmy agreed, and they looked at each other. "Why are you alone?"

"What do you mean? Who would I bring to this?" Carli asked, staring at him as he frowned.

"Your boyfriend?" Jimmy suggested, and she looked down for a long moment.

"This needed to be done alone. He has work and everything else." Carli stumbled over her words, and forced her eyes to the belt carrying the luggage, and felt the pain wash through her.

"This does not have to be done alone, Car. Nobody expects you to be super woman." Jimmy told her, and she shrugged. He shook his head and took her hand as they walked over to get her bag, and then they headed to the car.

"So who is worse off?" Carli asked, deciding who she should go and see.

"His parents are seeing people at the house already, and they are holding up for the most part. Travis….I am worried about him. He has been sleeping nonstop since he heard, and I don't want him alone. I don't think he would want anyone but you right now, Car. You guys were the closest to Ryan." Jimmy told her, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"He's really gone." Carli said, and Jimmy opened up her door for her.

"Yeah. Fucking drunk driver on the freeway." Jimmy said, his eyes full of anger and pain. "It's going to be bad here for awhile. Really bad." They went to the house that Jimmy shared with Travis, and Lisa hugged her tightly as they walked in. She looked tired and Jimmy pulled her to their room for some sleep as Carli set her bag against the wall and yawned. She walked into Travis's room, seeing him slumped quietly under his blankets. She slid under them, and wrapped her arms around him tightly as he moved slightly. He didn't speak, so she assumed that he was still sleeping, and she fell asleep herself cuddled against him. He was playing Ryan's music on his Ipod dock and she let a tear slide down her cheek as she listened to the familiar song.

"Carli." She stirred when she heard her name later, and a hand stroking her hair. "You're here."

"I came right away." Carli said in a hoarse voice, and they hugged each other tightly.

"You're alone?" Travis asked in surprise, and she took a deep breath.

"I knew I would be with a lot of people here, Trav. It's better this way." Carli said, and felt him kiss her hair. She felt so warm next to him, and it was like she could hide under the covers and pretend. "I will be here as long as you need me." That began Carli's attempt at being strong for everyone else, sleeping next to Travis and comforting him when he needed it. She visited his mom and dad and comforted them, helping them plan the service and everything else that went with it. Carli never cried like the had at her apartment, and she collapsed every chance she got to sleep. The days and nights ran together and soon it was the night before the funeral. Mom had planned a gathering for the closest friends at their house that night before the massive church service, and Carli was helping in the kitchen in the gray dress that she had pulled on after a rushed shower at Travis's. She was preparing a salad and she stared at it blankly as she mixed it, feeling emotionally drained. The doorbell kept ringing, and she moved over to the brownies that she started to cut.

"Carli." Ryan's mom called to her, and Carli glanced up at Elizabeth to see Eric standing beside her. Her breath caught in her throat and she stared quietly at him, as his gaze took in her appearance with a silent intensity. "It's so nice to meet your new boyfriend."

"What are you doing here?" Carli asked him, and the stared at him with angry eyes.

"Excuse me, Eric. I am going to borrow Carli for a moment." Elizabeth said after a moment of silence, and stared at the girl. "Come along, sweetheart."

"OK." Carli replied, and stepped forward and glanced down as she passed Eric. Elizabeth looked at him with a promising gaze and then took Carli upstairs to a quiet room and sat her down on the bed.

"It has been so busy around here and we have not had a chance to really talk. What's going on, Carli? Shouldn't you be happy that he is here to support you? You have been so strong for all of us." Elizabeth told her, sitting beside her and looking at her with warm eyes. She loved Carli like her own daughter, and she was worried about her.

"I didn't want him to be a part of this, Mom. Ryan was not supportive of us, and he died hating me." Carli felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she blinked and wiped her eyes. "I see Eric and I remember that, and I was wrong to do what I did to him."

"He never hated you. Loved you, but never hated. He knew that he did something stupid, and that hurt him as well as your own mistake. He only wanted things right between you guys again, and he had every intention of contacting you and making things right again." Elizabeth's eyes watered, and she wiped them as they slid down her cheeks. "He never got that chance, but he did love you and want to make things right. He knew that you were happy with your Eric, and that hurt him."

"I never wanted that. I loved him so much once, and now I can never say that I am sorry." Carli finally cried, deeply and freely. She had been putting on the strong front all week, and she could not do it anymore. Elizabeth gathered her into her arms and let her, watching as her own tears flowed freely. They were quiet for several moments and then they talked some more before they went downstairs to greet their guests. Carli splashed cold water on her blotchy face slowly and took a few deep breaths before she joined Elizabeth and she looked around the growing crowd that mingled between the living room and the dining room. Carli went into the kitchen and helped Elizabeth finish the food and they set it out on the long dining room table along with plates and cups and some drinks, and then Carli faced the crowd. She greeted the close friends they had made with hugs and tears, and looked slowly for Eric as she mingled. Everyone began to eat and they sat where they could, and she stepped outside for some fresh air. She had barely eaten at all and her energy was low. Eric seemed to have left and she stared with empty eyes across the long stretch of grass that lay before her, one that she had spent a lot of time on in her past.

"Feeling better?" His voice was low and she turned her head without looking at him.

"In a way. Other ways, not at all." Carli replied, and blinked.

"You look terrible, Carli. I doubt that you have eaten and it does not look like you have slept much either."

"I have been staying with Travis mostly. He is having a hard time and has had some insomnia. I have slept but so poorly that it has not mattered." Carli answered, and felt him stroke her loose bangs back. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she closed her eyes.

"Who has been there for you?" Eric asked her, and she shrugged. "I am here because Jimmy answered your phone one day while you were trying to sleep. He urged me to come to be here for you, because he is so fucking worried about you. I have been as well back in New York. I need to try and take care of you."

"I just need this to not be happening." Carli said, and looked at him. "I suppose we should go inside and do this." She went first and Eric followed, fixing them a plate and getting her settled into a big chair as he sat on the arm near her. Everyone was talking together, and after they ate Elizabeth offered them drinks it became something of a remembrance. They all told their own stories, and Carli alternated between crying and laughing at the past. Eric watched her closely as he slid his fingers back and forth over her shoulders, seeing her relax as she sipped wine. She had eaten some food and the color was back in her face a little, and she leaned back against him. Jimmy glanced at them with relieved eyes, and he and Eric shared a glance. Travis sat by Carli on the floor, touching her leg with his shoulder as he stared at the ground. Elizabeth and Kevin sat together on the loveseat, laughing and crying at stories of their son as his sister and brother sat on the floor. The night ended on a lighter note than it had began and Carli stood slowly and stretched, and Eric watched as the shiny dress slid up her thigh a bit. Travis joined her and she looked at him as she stroked his shoulder, and then she glanced at Eric. "Are you coming tomorrow?"

"Carli…I." he glanced at Travis and then pulled her into the empty kitchen slowly. "I want to offer you the peace of the room I have in the city tonight. You can soak in the bath and sleep without taking care of anybody, and I can rest knowing you are doing that. This is not about sex or doing anything together, but I want you by me."

"I…." Carli's voice died off, and she looked down. "I do need sleep. I need everything I can get to make it through tomorrow. Can you take me to the apartment to get some things?" She checked with Travis to make sure he would be alright, and then said her goodbyes. Eric led her to a luxury rental and she slid inside gratefully as she closed her eyes. Her head was pounding and she felt weak, and Eric looked at her as he got in.

"Lover, I am going to tuck you in and keep you safe tonight." He drove to the apartment where she filled her backpack with stuff she needed, and grabbed the dress for the funeral. She walked back out to the car and got in and let him carry her things to the room once she got there. She looked around the large room, eyeing the large bathtub in the huge bathroom and the equally large king size bed. Eric saw her eyes and he went in and ran a bath for her, lighting some candles and adding some scent to the water. "All yours."

Carli stepped into the bathroom and looked at the steamy water gratefully. She glanced at him and laughed weakly. "Are you just trying to see me naked?"

"I would never deny myself that pleasure, but I am merely here to relax you." Eric assured her, and Carli sighed and turned to have him unbutton the dress. She slipped out of it and pulled off her bra and briefs and slipped into the water, closing her eyes. Eric slipped off his steel gray button up shirt and leaned down behind her. He reached in and massaged her shoulders slowly and with heavy fingers, and she sighed audibly. "Can I get in with you? I want to hold you and be closer. I want to wash your hair and ease all of this tension."

"Yes." Carli said, in a daze from the exhaustion and the massage. He stripped and moved behind her, and she felt the added heat even through all of her pain. He massaged shampoo into her hair slowly and she leaned back to rinse it, and he continued to massage her skin. She slid her hands down and over his legs slowly, and felt his arousal behind her.

"I'm sorry." Eric told her, and she shook her head.

"It is what we are." Carli replied, and shrugged. "All about the sex and the heat, and it gets more complicated by the moment. I don't even know who I am anymore, but I need to find out."

"You are a passionate woman, Carli. You may have a slight attraction towards women, but whatever the case, that does not make you a bad person." She dug her fingers deeper into his legs and he grew harder. "Pam seems to do something for you, though you always feel so guilty. I am sorry it got so far the other night. I was angry at first but then I was turned on watching you come like that, and I saved it all to make love to you."

"You made Pam come as well." Carli reminded him, and he slid his hands down her back and around her front just before her breasts. He stroked gently and she took a deep breath. The wine made her head fuzzy and she allowed herself to give in to her desire and raw need at that moment as her body throbbed, and she heard him speak again.

"I owed her that simple pleasure." Eric told her, and she leaned back so his hands drifted to her nipples slowly. "I wanted to yank you off the bed and fuck you all alone, but you were enjoying yourself. I liked watching you pleasure her. Did you like it when I made her come?" Carli whimpered as she rose up to slide against his cock, and he pinched her nipples. He slid one hand down her back and under her, sliding a finger into her as she moaned gratefully. Carli moved hard over his finger as he added another, pressing closer against his firm erection. She moved her ass over it and he growled as she teased him. "I'll take that as a yes." Carli cried out as he bent his fingers slightly, just enough to hit the spot inside of her that pushed her over the edge. "I liked fucking you when you made her come better. I could not get deep enough inside of you." He gripped her breast tight as she rode him harder, and she cried out in pain. "You're so tight, Carli." She came hard, unable to hold out, and he continued to drag her over his cock as she shuddered, moaning as her body held onto it. Eric grunted and she felt him twitch against her, coming into the water as he breathed her name. They stumbled out of the water after they recovered, drying off enough not to soak the bed with water before they tumbled down into a mess of arms and legs. Eric kissed Carli fiercely and she returned his eagerness with her tongue, sliding it into his mouth to tease him. She felt him push her onto her knees and she heard him stroking himself to bring him to a full erection, and she moaned as he touched her.

"Spank me." Carli whispered, and closed her eyes as she waited.

"What?" Eric asked after a long moment, but his hand slid over her ass as she bent before him.

"You heard me." Carli told him, and she moaned as he slapped her skin lightly. She felt herself get wetter and she heard him groan as he discovered it with his fingers. He slid another finger inside her and slapped her again harder, and she bucked against him with a moan. "God. Eric." Carli whimpered, feeling him push her forward and enter her deeply. He spanked her randomly through the sex, but soon all she felt was him slapping against her, and she screamed into her pillow as she came. She slumped forward and he collapsed on top of her after he released, as they both took deep breaths.

"Where did that come from?" Eric asked her, and she closed her eyes.

"I don't know. I just wanted the pain along with the sex." Carli replied, and he stroked her sides.

"Were you looking to be punished?" Eric asked her, and she shrugged as best she could. "I don't want to punish you, Carli. I love you too much. I want you to stop punishing yourself as well."

"I am changing so fast, Eric, and now I am here dealing with this. I am in even further at questioning who I am."

"Are you going on tour?" Eric asked her, and she sighed.

"Yeah. It was all set up and it seems the best way to heal. Trav will only wallow in his room if we do not get him out of here." Carli replied, and she heard him suck in his breath. "It seems right in a way, Eric."

"I don't want to wait that long to see you again." Eric told her, and she felt him kiss her shoulder.

"It is only for a couple of months. Maybe I will come back a whole new woman." Carli tried to joke, and failed miserably.

"I don't want that. I want you, as flawed as you think you are." Her skin still stung and her body was contracting slowly even still, and she basked in it for a long moment. "We will stop whatever it is that disturbs you, Carli. I don't even want anyone but you." They moved together to hold each other, and he stroked back her hair as he kissed her. She fell asleep in his arms, sleeping deeply until she heard her phone. Carli opened her eyes, still in his arms and his bed, and she looked at the window to see sun shining against the thin curtain. It was Ryan's funeral. She had to say her final goodbyes with family and friends and strangers today, and she felt the sting in her eyes. Carli pulled herself out of the bed and shut the phone off, perching on the edge of the bed to look at Eric as he slept. He was a gorgeous sight, and she let her eyes rove over his naked torso and down to where the sheet barely covered him. She remembered the night before, and many even before that, and the memories made her smile bitterly. They had love, but they had a weird sexual vibe going as well that she could not let rest in her stomach well. She seemed to willingly let Pam in when it suited her as well, and she shook her head. She let her gaze rest on him once again, moving up to slide the sheet down and take him into her mouth. He gripped her hair as he abruptly woke up, and she slid her mouth tightly up and down his hardening cock. Tears slid down her cheeks as he came deep in her throat, and she pulled away and layed against his stomach. They got up to shower and dress slowly, and she pulled on her black sleeveless dress and gray cardigan. Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, and she wore little make up. Eric came out of the bathroom straightening his tie and she glanced at him. He kissed her simply and slowly, and she slid her feet into the heels she had brought before they left.

The church was beautiful and large, with stained glass windows all around it. Carli stated at it as he parked across the street and then gazed at all of the people gathered. So many familiar faces. "If this were a better occasion, I would call it quite a star studded event." Eric remarked, and she nodded. Elizabeth would have preferred small, but Ryan had become quite popular and well known. They got out of the car and she greeted people out front and hugged Ryan's parents and her band mates tightly. They found seats close, and the service began as she felt Eric take her hand. She let the tears fall down her cheeks, pulling herself together to sing the song that her had written for Travis alongside her best friend up front along with a few others. People spoke about Ryan, and the admiration for him was obvious. She stood when it was over on shaky legs and they made their way to the car, where he pulled her into his arms.

"I am glad that you're here, even though I was too stubborn to ask you myself." Carli told him, and they headed to the restaurant rented out for the event. She sat with her band and Eric, eating and chatting with people as they came by. The tour was mentioned, and everyone looked at each other before they confirmed that it was still on. Eric looked at the table and she glanced at him briefly before looking away. He was due to leave the following day, since Pam had stepped up and started to devote herself to the company and gave him some time away. They would not see each other for a few months, and they made love slowly and sweetly that night.

"I would be happy with this every night. I don't need the rougher sex, seeing you with a woman, or any of it but this. You and I like this." Eric told her, and she stared at him.

"Let's work on that when I come home." Carli told him, and he kissed her. "I love you, Eric. I want to try our best. "

"I will wait for you." Eric told her, moving down to kiss her neck as she smiled.

"No Pam while I am gone?"

"Carli, I would never think of that." Eric told her firmly, and she saw the glare in his eyes as he raised himself to look at her. "I cannot order you to not see her in that capacity, but I don't want to at all."

"I am done with that." Carli told him, wanting simplicity. "I'm sorry for saying that. Part of me is jealous of her being there with you."

"No worries. I am all yours, my lover." Eric assured her, and kissed her again. It deepened slowly, and she slid her legs around him as she felt the familiar tingle in her body. They rolled over and she made love to him again, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes as she moved over him and reading every emotion in them. She cried the next day as they said goodbye on the room, and then took a cab back to Travis's place. They focused on tour practice as a band then, and it seemed to heal all of them. They left for tour ready for a change and ready to see the country, but Carli missed Eric deeply. She missed him with her body as she went to sleep at night, and her heart when she spoke to him. She longed for the day when she would return, but the fans were amazing on the tour. They brought flowers for her, since her and Ryan were fairly public as a former couple, and hugged her and gave her presents. They screamed for her when she sang and when she was done, and the feeling it gave her was above and beyond exhilaration. She cried almost every night that they spoke, both with happiness and sadness. Carli looked forward to going home, but she looked out of the window of the bus with a smile as they drove through Louisiana and talked to Eric. She wanted to heal and be happy with herself and she felt like she was accomplishing that on the break. She thought of Ryan and his short life after she hung up, and a tear filled her eye. She would love to have him see them perform again, to just talk to him. She wished that he was alive. Carli sighed and went back to her bunk, talking to the guys as she settled in for the night.


	19. Homecoming

I do not own any True Blood characters. I only use and abuse them. Enjoy!

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The tour was over within a few shows, and Carli found herself going to a small club with the band and a few fans the night before the last performance. It was bittersweet for them, though on the outside it seemed like they were any band soon ending a tour. They had the excitement and exhilaration that was normal, but there was also a bit of dread at returning to normal life for Trevor and Carli. She played it off well, drinking with some fans and dancing to the local band playing and having a good time, but inside she was dreading having time to think about Ryan's death. The tour had been great for distracting her from it, even with the fan's support and the somewhat constant reminder. She looked at Travis across the room drinking a beer with a frown on his face, and she made her way over to him. He glanced up and she wrapper her arms around his waist and hugged him. "You okay, Trav?"

"Just thinking about going back home. It is a little depressing to face the facts, Car." Travis replied, and she nodded.

"Come dance with me." Carli urged him, and he looked down. She pulled him out to the floor and the song turned slow, so she slid her arms around his neck and he slid his around her back. "I can come hang in Chicago with you guys until we record, or maybe you can come back with me and hang."

"You can't stay away for another month, Carli. You have a life there." Travis told her, and she looked at him. "Can I come and hang out?"

"Sure thing." Carli told him, biting her lip as she hugged him. She knew that Eric was probably looking forward to having some alone time with her and that it would cut into that, but it was Travis. They were both hurting a little still, and had gotten closer in the last few weeks. They finished out their night and headed to the bus, where most of them gathered in the lounge for video games while Carli changed into shorts and a big tee and crawled into bed to drunkenly text Eric. They got sexual and dirty and she said good night with a frustrated sigh, curling up under the covers. She felt her desire pumping through her and she sighed as she lifted her knees up, sliding her hand down her shorts and between her legs. She was wet from the suggestions he had been making, and she listened to make sure she was alone in the darkened bunk area. She teased her clit slowly, and felt her breath catching in her throat as the pressure built inside of her. Carli moved her fingers faster until she was on the brink, then shoved two inside of herself and came on them as she breathed deeply. Carli stared at the bunk above her as she recovered from the somewhat satisfying orgasm, and she stroked herself slowly and thoughtfully as she imagined Eric between her legs. She brought herself one more time and then rolled over under the covers to sleep. Some time later, she felt someone touch her shoulder. "Hmmmmm?" Travis asked if he could lay with her, and she scooted in as much as she could and he slid behind her under the covers. He slid his arm around her waist and she smiled.

"Hey, Carli." Travis murmured, and she snuggled against him. He did this a lot\and she was very used to it now, and she drifted off to sleep again. She woke up turned around in the small bunk bed, facing him, and she felt him stroking her hair.

"Are you awake?" Carli whispered, still hearing the cursing in the lounge at the game.

"Yeah. Just thinking." Travis replied, and she leaned into his chest. The alcohol was still affecting her and she took a breath. "I hate the idea of going home. I was always hanging out with him there, Car. I don't know how I am not going to do that."

"You'll record. You'll write. You'll get through it." Carli told him, hugging him close to her. His other hand slid around her lower back, just under her shirt to touch her bare skin. Carli took a breath, still feeling a little aroused from her previous masturbating, and she focused on where the was. She felt him stroke up her skin and she moved slightly and found her lips right by his face, and then he leaned in to close the distance. She gasped and he tightened his hand in her long hair, but she was too shocked to pull herself away from him at first. He deepened the kiss, probing her lips open with his tongue gently, and she felt him roll her onto her back and move over her. "Travis." Carli whispered, trying to push him away.

"Ryan always said how good he felt with you. I want to feel good like that, Carli." Travis told her, and kissed her again. It was harder and more demanding, and she knew it was the alcohol driving him to this. She felt him lift off of her enough to part her legs and move between them, and then one hand slid under her shirt and up her bare side. She dropped her arms from him, and tried to grab his hand but he slid his thumb over her nipple just as she reached for him. She moaned and he slid his tongue back in her mouth as her sexual frustration reacted to him while her her mind fought it. "You are so ready, Carli." Travis told her, pinching it between his fingers and teasing her as she started to sweat. He lifted her shirt easily and moved his lips to kiss her hard nipples, and she gasped as she looked down the long and dark walkway. Travis sucked them into his mouth and bit down and she slid her hands into his hair as she arched her back. He cupped her breasts, and moved one hand down to stroke her between her legs over the shorts and she gasped. They both heard the voices of some friends heading their way and Travis moved away from her and leaned on one arm as she settled herself under the covers. Jimmy glanced at them as he walked by with another guy, not surprised to see their closeness. They stared at each other in the dim light and Travis leaned down to kiss her again, but she stopped him with her finger.

"We cannot cross this line." Carli said, and saw him inhaling.

"You smell like you touched yourself tonight." Travis said, and his eyes grew darker with lust and she gasped.

"It is better than grief sex with you. That we would both regret, Trav, and you know that." Carli said, and he took her hand and kissed it. He slid one of her fingers into his mouth and she stared at him as he sucked slowly. "Come on, dude. You are like my brother."

"I know, Car. I just need you so much right now." Travis told her, and rested his head against the pillow as he let her hand go. "You taste so good, Carli."

"I do?" Carli asked, glad that the moment had seemed to pass. She could not have sex with Travis because she was turned on by Eric. She wondered what was coming over her as she stared at him, longing for Ryan and their normal sex life. It had been so easy in a way, but then she remembered their bad habit of continuing to sleep with each other. Maybe it had not been as normal as she thought, and she sighed as she closed her eyes.

"Yeah." Travis said, and sighed. "I want to sleep, but I am so hard right now." He moved off of the bed and headed back to the bathroom, and she closed her eyes. She knew what he was doing, and she was about ready for round two herself. She took a deep breath and slid her hand back into her pants and quietly came, rolling over go to sleep when she was done. Travis didn't come back and she woke up alone in the morning. Carli went out and made a cup of chai tea and sat down on the couch, thinking about life. She was lost in thought when she felt someone touch her shoulder, and she glanced up to see Travis. She frowned and looked away, and rubbed her head above the temples as the headache set in. "I am so sorry, Carli. I don't know what came over me."

"You are a bit lost right now and I was turned on because I was sexting my boyfriend last night. I guess I can blame myself as much as you." Carli said wearily, wanting to go back to bed. "We are both having a difficult time right now."

"I will just go home, Car. I don't want to make things worse for you." Travis's voice was filled with sorrow and remorse, and she looked at him. He was staring at the floor, and she sighed loudly.

"No, that won't help you. Come hang out and we can just put this behind us." Carli told him, and he stared at her. Normally they would have hugged or cuddled, but they just sat a few feet beside each other quietly for a moment. He nodded and she went back and went back to sleep until their sound check that night, merely pulling her hair back before leaving. She kept it that way for the show, and skipped her usually well done make up for a bit of eyeliner and mascara. She performed for the crowd with enthusiasm, although it was a bit forced. Carli waved and smiled and then walked off of the stage and to the bus, changing into comfortable clothes and climbing into bed. The guys had plans to go out with friends, and she was not about to drink that night. She talked to Eric after he was done with an event, and he told her how much he loved her. Their next and last show was in New York, and that was when she and Travis were leaving the group. Eric told her how much he was looking forward to seeing her, and she smiled as she pictured his face in her mind. Their talk turned to sex towards the end, and she felt herself moisten at his dirty words. She was all alone on the bus, and she slid her hand between her legs, coming for him as he listened on the other end. He returned the favor, and she hung up longing for a very long and hot shower. She had never masturbated on a tour bus before, content to wait until she returned home to Ryan. It just was not in her thought process. Now it controlled her life. She fell into a fitful sleep and woke up when she heard voices. Carli rolled over before they walked by and pretended to sleep, and she heard somebody pause before continuing. She woke up in New York the next day, and smiled a small grin as she got up for her tea.

Carli went home for a shower with the band, seeing that Pam still had stuff there. Travis dropped his bag down in the spare room, and Carli figured she would sleep in her room with Pam as much as that idea made her cringe. She didn't care as she took a long shower in the master bathroom, while the others shared the hall bathroom. She did her make up smoky and her lips glossy and pulled on a mini skirt and a tight fitting tank with her converse. She added her necklace under her shirt and traced it for a moment with her fingers, and then joined the band to go to sound check and watch the openers before their meet and greet. She went to the table with the guys, glancing quietly at Travis as they sat down. The fans were enthusiastic and adoring, and they made her smile as she talked to them and took their gifts. They had been good the whole time on the tour, and they made it all worth it. She glanced up as the time came to an end, seeing the lone figure walking up to her. She smiled and stood up, since the crowd was thinning. "Hey there." Carli greeted Eric, meeting his eyes as they locked gazes. "Thanks for coming to meet me."

"Anytime." Eric replied, and she let her eyes rove over his tight tee shirt and jeans slowly as she pressed her lips together. "You look beautiful, Carli."

"Staying for the show?" Carli asked him, and he looked down her body as she shivered, ending on her bare legs.

"I would not miss it. Can I see you afterwards?" Eric asked her, and she grinned at him.

"You can do a lot of things to me afterwards." Carli said in a low voice, and his eyes burned into hers with his obvious lust. She stood on her toes and kissed him lightly, and he slid his hands over her lower back slowly. "God but I missed you." Carli murmured against his lips, and he kissed her harder and deeper as she gasped for air.

"I will wait for you at my apartment after the show." Eric told her, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "I love you, Carli." She watched him walk away and joined the band again as they headed to the stage. She took a deep breath and watched them go out before her and Travis looked at her before he went on last. She saw the hurt in his eyes and she stared at him as he gazed back.

"Trav…" Carli said slowly, and bit her newly glossed lip.

"Let's do this." Travis told her, and she nodded slowly. They had not been as close on the last week or so, and Jimmy had been casting curious looks at them both. Carli knew that Travis felt more for her then he had let on, and she automatically walked onto the stage. She greeted the crowd loudly and they went right into a song, and she bounced around the stage as she sang to the crowd. She put everything that she had into the set, realizing that damage had been done to the band and their lives. Carli sang the last sone fighting tears in her eyes as she did, and then left the stage with the group. Jimmy grabbed her arm and she looked at him with sad eyes.

"What is going on, Carli? You and Travis have been so distant towards each other and tonight you sounded so lost out there." Jimmy accused her, and she shook her head.

"I fucked up. We fucked up." Carli told him, and hugged him. "I will fix things."

"He said he is staying in New York?"

"Yeah. He plans to." Carli replied, and sighed. Jimmy and Carli walked away from the group and talked until it was time for him to get back to the bus. Carli walked back to the venue to find Travis waiting for her, and she stared at him. She handed him her key and he glanced at it. "I won't be home tonight, Travis. Make yourself at home." Carli took a deep breath and gazed at his face, but avoiding his eyes. "I know that he would appreciate us together and that I admit I could be happy with you, but it does not feel right. You have been one of my best friends for too long, and I cannot cross that line. I am going to stay with Eric, as wrong as that sometimes feels. I love him, for the right reasons and maybe the wrong."

"I can see that." Travis told her, and she met his gaze. "It hurt a little to see the way you are with him after kissing you the way I did, after touching you. It felt right that night."

"Grief makes things feel different. We are both grieving." Carli assured him, and he raised an eyebrow. "I will see you tomorrow, Trav? We can do something in the city after I get my hair done."

"Sure thing." Travis told her, and they stared at each other for a moment. "Tomorrow, Car." he leaned down and brushed his lips against her cheek, then her lips. She pushed against him, and he pulled away slowly. "Sorry. I could not resist."

"Stop it." Carli told him, and walked away as she slung the backpack over her shoulder. She wanted the old Travis back. She wanted her friend back. He had never wanted her like this before, and it was uncomfortable and making things so much worse. She walked to the curb and caught the cab she had called earlier, sliding in with a sigh. Carli closed her eyes the whole way, and only opened them slowly when she pulled up to the building. She got out and heard a few people say her name, and she forced a smile on her face as she greeted them. She took a few pictures and signed some stuff, and then headed inside as the doorman looked her over. She went to the elevator and slowed in front of Eric's door. She raised her hand to knock, and paused. "Damn it." She knocked firmly and looked into his face as he opened the door.

"Lover." Eric purred at her, pulling her in by the hand and taking her backpack. She stared at him, feeling the desire that he always sent through her wash through her body with relief. He slid his hands over her face, cupping it as he leaned down to kiss her. His lips burned hers and she moaned as she slid her hands around his waist, pulling him closer as she deepened the kiss. She sucked his lip into her mouth hungrily, and he gripped her hair tightly.

"I need a shower, Eric. I am so sweaty." Carli murmured against his lips, and he slid his hands down her back. He lifted her shirt up slowly and she allowed him to take it off.

"Only if I can take all of your clothes first." Eric told her, throwing it onto a chair. He led her to the bathroom and finished his task, and she stepped inside of the huge shower and turned on the hot water. She let the hot water hit her skin with a grateful sigh, and felt him step in behind her. His hands caressed her hips and she moaned as she turned to face him. Their lips met in the steam and she slid her tongue into his mouth eagerly as he slid his hands up to her breasts. "I am going to wash every inch of you off and then we will finish this." Carli protested, but her maneuvered her head under the shower and then massaged shampoo into her hair gently as she closed her eyes. "You sounded really good tonight, Carli, but I sensed some distraction in your voice. I doubt the fans noticed as much as me, but you weren't wholly into it."

"End of tour stuff. It happens." Carli replied too quickly, and bit her lip. He rinsed her hair and then began to wash her body, slowly and sensually. She felt the throbbing begin as he soaped up her thighs and she moaned softly.

"Is that all? Is it anything to do with your grief?" Eric asked her, and she frowned in the thick steam of the shower.

"It's Travis. He is still having a hard time, and is actually at the apartment tonight. For awhile. Is Pam there? Will she be nice to him?" Carli asked, and Eric chuckled.

"She has been spending the night with her new girlfriend as of late. She might be moving in soon." Eric told her, and Carli looked at him. "She still teasingly asked if she can play with you from time to time, but I think that she is rather serious about this one."

"What did you say?" Carli asked him, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"No more interaction between the three of us, that is for certain. But if you happen to feel the desire when you are with her, I don't need to be a part of that. I know that you and her have a certain attraction, but I know that is all it is."

"You're right. I would never leave you for her." Carli replied, sliding her hand down to cup his erection. "I need this way too much."

"I would not mind watching her eat you out, fully clothed of course. I just like seeing your face." Eric told her, and she bit her lip. "I think you're clean, Carli." He pushed her into the wall of the shower, kissing her deeply as she cried out. She pulled his face closer to hers, digging her hands into his damp hair as she met his tongue frantically. She forgot everything at that moment but her raw desire for him, and they stumbled out of the shower with the water still running. Eric grabbed a towel clumsily, drying her first and then himself before they fell onto his bed. He pressed against her as he kissed her again, and she allowed him to press between her legs as he slid over her. Their kiss was bordering on savage and she could feel the bruising starting in her mind. "I have such a hard time being without you for so long, Carli." Eric growled, moving to her neck as he nibbled and kissed. "I have never jacked off as much as I did in that time."

"Me neither." Carli admitted, and he drew her nipple into his mouth with a groan. He had heard her a few times. He bit down and she cried out as he slid his hands over her hips. She was wet and wanted him badly, but he slowly moved down her body with his lips as she whimpered. He licked her long and hard and she gripped the sheets, knowing that she was ready to explode. He focused on her clit as his tongue flicked it with only the tip, then sucking it into his mouth as she let out a primal moan. He slowly rolled it along her folds, his mouth only making her wetter. "Eric, oh god." Carli cried out, as he plunged his tongue deep inside of her, making her explode all over him. She whimpered with the force of it, and felt him cleaning of her of it as she sighed. "You didn't sleep with anyone else, did you?" Carli asked, as an afterthought.

"No." Eric told her firmly, plunging himself into her as she moaned. "I never want anyone else again." He allowed her a brief period to adjust to him before fucking her deep and hard. She came again easily and she looked into his face as he fought his own climax. He managed and she moaned as he pumped in and out of her tight walls, sliding along her sensitive spot as he hitched her leg up to rest against his torso. "Again, Carli. Scream my name." Eric urged her, and she stared into his eyes. "I have heard it in my head again and again during your absence."

"I love you, Eric." Carli breathed, clutching the pillow as she felt the pressure building inside of her. She did scream his name a few moments later, and heard him scream after her as she smiled. Her pussy ached slightly as he pulled out of her, and she felt him rest his head on her stomach. She felt the need for him take her over again, and she slid her hand through his damp hair. They ended up ordering take out and eating it on his bed in candlelight as she looked at him. She had missed seeing him. His blue eyes shimmered in the dim light, and his muscles rippled as he moved slightly. He looked at her and she took a small bite of her thai food. "You're so beautiful, Eric. How are you mine?"

"I have been since I saw you." Eric told her, eating a piece of spicy chicken. "I was even more after we made love for the first time. You are captivating and drew me right in."

"I don't know why." Carli said slowly, thinking before she chewed a piece of broccoli.

"I watched you tonight up there, and I could see all of the boys around her losing themselves in you. You exude your sensuality and passion, and utter power onstage. You control those youngsters as you perform for them, and you also make me very, very hard as you dance around in little skirts and swing your hair around like that. How I longed to take you onstage in front of them all and fuck you like they all wanted to." Carli blushed and looked down, and he smiled. "Even when you are not completely into your performance, you do all of that."

"Ummm, yeah." Carli said, and looked up and then down again. She knew that she should tell him. "It's Travis. He is having a hard time, which is why he is in New York, and we kind of had an issue while on tour."

"Did he finally act on his crush on you?" Eric asked, and she stared at him in surprise. "He very obviously had one, and seemed to be following the guy code on going after his best friend's girl. Now that Ryan is no longer, I can see him trying."

"I never noticed, and yes." Carli replied, scared to look at him.

"Did you sleep with him?" Eric asked, his voice gentle yet demanding as he asked.

"No, nothing quite like that. We kissed and he touched me a little before we stopped it." Carli replied, and kept staring at the sheets as she took another nervous bite.

"Touched you? That is all?" Eric asked, and she nodded. She felt him tilt up her face and she met his eyes. "Did you want him? Do you want him?"

"I was turned on by some texts of ours from that night, and I stopped it slower than I wanted to due to that. But we stopped. I don't want him. I love you." Carli told him, her eyes wide. "It was so hard wanting you when we talked and texted, and I found that masturbating didn't help much that night."

"I am not angry, Carli. You stopped it and you are here instead of with him in your bed." Eric assured her, and she frowned. "I don't want to hear of any similar interaction from now on though. You are mine."

"I am." Carli said, taking another bite of her food. They finished and got the remains into the fridge, and she slid between his legs and rested on his chest. She traced her fingers down his skin as he slid his legs around hers and stroked her skin in return and kissed his nipples slowly. She swirled her tongue slowly around them and then bit gently as he moaned. She felt him harden against her and she slid one hand down to wrap it around him.

"Mouth." Eric told her, and she slid down his body to hover over him. She had just lowered it on him when they heard a female's voice calling through the apartment.

"I don't hear moans or screams of pleasure, so I assume I am safe to enter?" Pam called out, and Eric sighed audibly.

"She figured out that you were coming back. I told her to leave us alone tonight." Eric murmured, and his eyes turned angry. They situated themselves and covered up, and she came in with a smile.

"Well, well my singer lover. How was your tour?" Pam looked happy and as always, flawless and beautiful.

"Pam." Eric warned her with a low voice, and she shook her head and laughed.

"I wanted to say hello and that I missed you. Good to see you back." Pam said, and eyed her carefully. "I see that he has taken good care of you this evening. I would hug you, but we can save that for another time. I am off to see my new piece of ass, so I will see you two later." She winked and walked out, and they heard the door close behind her.

"She really just interrupted us for that?" Eric asked in frustration, and Carli smiled at him.

"She was just being Pam." Carli said, and he stared at her.

"She wanted you. You know that." Eric said, and Carli felt a blush spread over her cheeks. "Maybe I should have told her to leave you the fuck alone."

"Eric, you sound so angry. I am here with you." Carli said, and pushed him to his back. "I want you." She resumed her former position and took him back into her mouth slowly, feeling him harden as she did. He slid his hands into her hair and moaned as she sucked him deeper into her mouth, and soon her began to thrust himself forward and into her mouth. He took over the control before too long and soon he came into her mouth as she swallowed it hungrily. He pushed her to her stomach and moved between her legs as he parted them, licking slowly between her cheeks and slowly probing the tightest of entrances. She moaned weakly, lifting herself to be closer to him. He slid his tongue deeply into her and then he moved and she heard the drawer open, and the familiar sound of the bottle of lubricant. Carli tensed as she felt him move behind her and enter her, and she cried out with the pressure. Eric groaned deep within and pushed forward as she moaned, and she let him until he slid a finger over her clit to bring her to her orgasm. She bucked forward and he came after her, letting her slip to the mattress slowly when she was finished. She felt him pull her close to him and kiss her hair, and she smiled weakly.

"I love you, Carli. Are you OK?" Eric asked her, and she thought about the various aches she was feeling for a moment.

"It's been awhile is all." Carli said, and nestled closer to him. "I will get used to all of your wants and desires."

"I hope so. I intend to push them upon you for a long time to come." Eric promised her, and she smiled weakly. She was not sure at that point if it was a good thing or a bad thing.


	20. Let The Games Begin

I do not own any True Blood characters.

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Carli woke up with Eric the next morning, and they had a quickie before they showered and took off for the day. He went to work and she headed to the salon for her new look, hearing her phone ring as she walked into the door. She saw Travis's name and sighed as she hit the answer button. "Hey, Trav."

"I was out and about and though I might bring you some coffee." Travis told her, and she grinned a little.

"A soy chai tea latte would be great." Carli replied, and told him her location. He walked in a half an hour later as the redheaded stylist was finished cutting her hair into a bob, and she smiled at him as he walked up to her and handed her the drink. "Thank you, sir." Carli told him, trying to slip back into their old routine. "Get something done to your hair."

"Like what?" Travis asked, sitting down near her and watching as the stylist started to blow dry her hair. She covered Carli's head with bleach and she looked at him.

"I don't know. Do it blue or something, You are in a band and there are no rules." Carli told him, and he laughed.

"What are you doing?" Travis asked, sipping his traditional black coffee that she knew so well.

"Back to blond with some…." Carli looked at the girl coloring and they smiled.

"Dark pink." The stylist finished for her, and Carli nodded.

"If Harley says pink, it'll be pink." Carli said, and shrugged. "I don't really have a preference since I can always change it." Travis and Carli chatted throughout the coloring, and then she stood up and spun around for him. They went to lunch where he looked across the table at her and met her gaze.

"Look, I do not want this time in New York to be uncomfortable with you. I had a lot of time to think last night and I want us to be cool again." Travis told her, and she nodded. "I am willing to move past what happened between us if you are and just be friends. Best friends. Again."

"Deal." Carli agreed, and they shook hands across the table. She looked at his still dark brown hair and bit her lip. "I wish you would have done something to it." His face was handsome with pale skin and dark brown eyes, and she longed to see him with wild hair. She remembered the tour bus for a moment, and the feeling of his lips on her body and she shivered.

"Carli?" Travis asked, and she blinked. "You OK?"

"Yeah, if course." She sipped her lemonade and smiled. They talked about the new album and the month he had before he needed to return to Chicago. She mentioned that she had a friend staying at the house, and that she was a bit obnoxious. Carli assured him that she had ordered her to be nice to him, and he looked at her curiously.

"Who is she?" Travis asked, and she blushed a bit as she looked out of the window.

"She works with Eric and actually lost her roommate in LA. She had given up her place here and needed something until she found a place, and I offered up the apartment since we were going to be gone and all." Carli knew that there was much more to tell but she remained silent and looked at him. "I heard she is close to getting a new place soon so we'll be on our own."

"Whatever. Is she hot?" Travis teased her, and she blushed deeper. "Carli, what is going on? You're acting like you know her pretty well."

"We're good friends." Carli said, and felt a sense of relief when they got the check. Travis paid and she grinned her thanks, and they stood up and went outside to walk back to the apartment. He asked if she was going to be home that night, and she glanced at him. "Do you mind that I am not there so much?"

"You have a life." Travis told her, and glanced down. "I have friends here as well if I ever decide to reach out to anyone. I just am not quite there yet."

Carli reached out and took his hand, and he looked at her. "I know you are still suffering. I am too." He could see the flicker of pain in her eyes and nodded slowly.

"You are trying to reach out to people though. You seem to get comfort more than I." Travis said, as they entered the lobby of her apartment. They took the elevator and he stared at the floor as it moved to her floor. "I tried to reach out and failed miserably."

"Travis." Carli said, struggling for words as she unlocked her door. They both looked up to see Pam sitting in the couch with a cup in her hands as she stared at a laptop. "Oh. Pam. Travis, this is Pam and Pam, this is Travis. He is my band mate."

"Hello, Travis." Pam greeted him with a slow smile as she looked him over. Carli shot her a warning look, and the woman glanced at her and back at the computer screen. "What were you two up to today, other than a salon trip?" Pam asked her, and glanced at the new hair. "I like it, Carli. You look like a new woman." Carli could see more in her eyes as she stared at her, and she walked into the kitchen for a soda.

"We were just walking around." Travis answered, sitting in the chair by the couch. "I know you are staying here sort of, and I hope you don't mind my taking up the guest room."

"It's no trouble. I can share the bed with Carli when she is home." Pam said, and Carli choked on her drink. "We have been in that situation before."

"Have you?" Travis asked, and Carli stepped out of the kitchen. Pam was smiling brightly as she looked at him, and Carli could see that he was a little entranced by her. She was beautiful, and she knew the art of seduction even when she was not really interested.

"Haven't you?" Pam asked him, and a flush crossed his cheeks as he looked down. "I mean, you did both lose someone and have been leaning on each other."

"Yeah. We have." Travis said, and Carli glared at Pam. "I need Carli."

"We all do." Pam assured him, and Carli beckoned her to the bedroom. Pam stood and followed, and looked expectantly at her friend.

"What the fuck are you doing? Don't torment him." Carli said, and Pam raised an eyebrow at her.

"He seems to have a thing for you, Carli. I saw that blush. Did you sleep with him?" Pam asked, stepping closer to her as Carli stared at her.

"No." Carli replied, and Pam smiled as she cupped Carli's face.

"Eric would be so jealous." Pam whispered, and kissed Carli slowly. "I know something happened. I can see the sexual tension between you."

"Pam." Carli said, and slid her hands over Pam's hips. "I don't know if we are supposed to do this."

"Behind closed doors is fine. He is very concerned about your emotions, but we can handle that." Pam said, stroking Carli's hair. "You look good this way. I feel like I get to fuck a new woman."

"I thought that you were." Carli said, and Pam smiled.

"Nothing serious." Pam pressed her into the wall, and Carli met her lips eagerly. She felt so mixed up as desire pooled through her and she longed to be normal again. She heard Travis knock and open the door and she tried to pull away in time, but she saw his shocked look as she glanced at him.

"Sorry." His voice was short as he left the room, and Carli pushed Pam away.

"Fucking great. How am I going to explain that?" Carli asked, walking towards the door and looking at Pam. "Maybe you should stay at her house for awhile. I need to fix this." She walked into the living room and noticed the open patio door, feeling the cold winter air. "Travis?" Carli called out, walking towards it.

"So I suppose you are sleeping with her as well? I am really surprised at you, Car. I wonder if I even know you." Travis asked her, glancing sideways as she stepped onto the big balcony.

"You do know me. I just don't know me very well right now." Carli said, hesitantly stepping towards him. "I feel so messed up, Trav. It seems worse with Ryan gone too. He seemed to even me out when he was in my life." She gazed at Travis and her looked at her after a long moment. "I miss him. I miss being normal."

Travis pulled her to him for a hug, and she melted into his arms. "Yeah. Me, too." He kissed her hair and she pressed her face against him. "I can say that you have good taste in women."

"Not women, not plural. Only her." Carli said bitterly, wishing it was not the case. Pam had gone when they returned inside, and Carli breathed a sigh of relief. The friends settled into a movie, and Carli stayed home that night when Eric worked late. He was very busy the next couple of weeks, and she and Travis wrote songs and practiced them when they were not hanging out in the city. It was a relief for her to regain their friendship, despite his acting a little different towards her since finding her with Pam. He seemed to accept it and she didn't find Pam at the apartment again. She was getting used to just being around Travis when Eric invited her to stop by a bar opening, saying that he had missed her. She knew that Travis had plans that night with a fellow friend, so she agreed before hanging up. She had dinner with Travis and he left and she got ready for the night. She brushed her straightened hair and clipped a flower into it, before doing colorful make up to match. Carli pulled on a deep pink tank and a short black skirt with heels, grabbing a small purse and walking out to her cab. She looked at the bar when she pulled up, and got out of the car with a smile at the driver. Some fans recognized her and she walked inside with them, smiling and talking as she glanced around. It was dark inside and spacious, with a large dance floor and tables throughout, and what looked to be more tables in the back with another bar. She didn't see Eric or Pam, and she returned her gaze to the girl talking to her. They made their way to the bar and Carli ordered a drink, letting the fan buy while she paid for the next one. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she glanced up to see Pam smiling at her. Carli graciously excused herself and walked away, as Pam took her arm.

"It's good to see you." Pam told her, and Carli met her light blue eyes briefly. "I have missed you."

"You have been busy. Both of you have." Carli told her, and Pam glanced across the room for a moment. Carli followed her gaze and saw Eric discussing something with an employee, and her breath caught in her throat. She had missed seeing him, and his eyes moved slowly over to her and Pam. They warmed and she smiled despite herself, and he let his eyes pass between the two women.

"Did your friend handle everything well that night?" Pam asked her, and Carli blushed as she looked down.

"Yeah, I guess. I sort of explained it as well as I could." Carli replied, and Pam raised an eyebrow. "Did Eric hear about it?"

"Yes, I told him. He was a bit upset with me, but we….smoothed things over." Pam smiled briefly and Carli looked at her. "He is fine with it now."

Carli looked at Eric again, and he met her gaze with his intense blue eyes as she sucked in her breath. She sipped her drink and Pam led her to the back where he was, and Carli looked up at him. "Hey."

"You look breathtaking." Eric told her, tucking her hair behind her ear slowly as he looked into her eyes. "I apologize to you for my schedule as of late, Carli. I have missed you more than you could know."

"Have you?" Carli asked, and he nodded slowly.

"Will you come home with me tonight? Eric asked her, and she pressed her pink lips together. "I just want to spend some time with you. The phone calls have barely been enough for me, and now I have a whole new girl in front of me to enjoy." He emphasized the last word and she shivered, and Pam took note of her body's reaction with a pleased smile.

"We'll see." Carli told him, fighting her own desire as she pressed her legs closer together. She could nearly feel him inside of her and she bit down on her lip hard.

"I will find you." Eric promised her, touching her lips slowly as she stared at him. He walked away after a long look to work and she sighed as she lowered her gaze to the ground.

"I do hope that I get you at least a little bit as well." Pam told her, and Carli blinked as she looked at her. "Come with me." Pam led her to a hallway and then inside of an office, and Carli looked at her curiously as she leaned on a cluttered desk. "Eric and I discussed our little situation here, and the fact that you want both of us and we both want you. We have agreed to share you with each other on whatever terms work out. Together or alone. We are willing to work with it and see what happens." Pam walked up to Carli, pressing between her legs as she looked at her. Her skirt was short like Carli's and the button up white shirt strained against her breasts as Carli looked at her. Pam kissed her slowly and with longing, and Carli slid her hands around her waist and pulled her closer. It didn't seem possible to want two people like she did, but it was happening and she slid her tongue forward to meet Pam's in a heated exchange. Pam slid one hand into Carli's hair and the other slid up her opened thighs and over her boys shorts as Carli moaned softly. It had been a long two weeks. She gasped as Pam stroked her under the lace and teased her eager folds, and her legs fell open further as the woman slid two fingers inside of her.

"Fuck her harder, Pam." Eric's voice rang in the dim light, and Carli blinked as he walked up behind Pam. Pam complied and Carli fell back onto her elbows as she felt the pressure build. "Make her cum for you, Pam. Make her cry out your name." Carli heard Pam moan and she looked forward to see something moving under her skirt. Eric was teasing her rapidly and Carli could see that Pam was getting closer as she looked into her face. Pam slid another finger into Carli and she closed her eyes as she writhed and bucked forward under her pleasing hand, coming easily and hard as she whimpered Pam's name. Pam moaned as Eric slid his hand between her legs, as his fingers entered her deeply and over her sweet spot, coming with a cry as he thrust deeper. Carli watched her, seeing her face twist for a moment, and she caught Eric's eye. He held Pam until she could stand on steady feet and then kneeled in front of Carli. He slid her underwear down her thighs and his tongue stroked her all the way over her throbbing folds as she felt him pull her legs over his shoulder. He sucked her deeply into his mouth and she cried out as he grazed her swollen clit with his teeth. "Now you can cry out my name." A few more licks and nibbles later, and she was crying out his name as he relentlessly ravaged her, and he thrust his tongue inside of her as she came against him.

"Oh, god." Carli said, still in the table as she took deep breaths.

"Come home with us and we can do so much more than that." Eric promised her, and she stared at him. He smiled at her as he pulled her up to kiss her deeply, and she slid her hand over his erection that was straining against his pants. She ended up kneeling as he pumped it deeply into her mouth as Pam watched, her head against the desk as he thrust. He clutched her hair and moaned as he felt her around him, and she swallowed all of him as he came forcefully inside of her throat. "I think that will do for now." Eric said hoarsely as he stared down at her, and she let him pull her up. He brushed her lips and looked between her and the other woman, and fixed his pants. "Come to work as soon as you can."

"I think this will work out just fine." Pam told her, smiling in a daze as she fixed her skirt. She helped Carla straighten her clothes and hair, and kissed her deeply for a long moment. "I get to taste you next time." The women stumbled slightly as they returned to the crowd, and Carli found a bar and downed a drink as she took several deep breaths.

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This story just took a turn even I never expected. It is rather fun to write about a character that becomes flawed rather than starting out that way, and a threesome with those two would probably be relatively fun. Right? Let the smut flow…


	21. How does it feel to break and bend?

I know this story is probably dying, but I am going to try and keep it going. I don't think I am good at straight smut, so I am going to try to dig a little deeper. I do plan on finishing it, somehow, if I can find it in me. thanks to those of you sticking around and reading it…

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A few weeks later, Carli lay in Eric's bed as she listened to the deepening breathing of her lovers. Her body was spore everywhere and she sighed quietly. She thought back to that first night in the office of the bar she had forgotten the name of, and she remembered considering walking away from Eric and Pam that night. She had just drank more and Eric had to help her to his car to bring her to his apartment that night and others to come. She had closed her eyes and compared Pam's soft feminine hands to Eric's large calloused hands, his long tongue to her soft one, and his touch to her touch. There had been nights alone with one or the other as well as night with them all together. Carli felt herself losing her own sense and her control, and she stared at the ceiling as she bit her swollen lip. She turned her head to see Eric in a deep slumber on his side, his hand tight around her waist. Pam was at the end of the bed sleeping horizontally on her stomach with her hair over her face. Carli scooted out of bed and went into the bathroom, using it quickly and then looking into the mirror. Her hair was messy and she looked closely at her lips that were swollen and bruised. Her nipples were hurting at any contact, and everywhere down below was aching. She fixed her hair and looked around for her clothes, walking quietly through the rooms and pulling them on slowly as she found them. Carli grabbed her purse and a hat and called a cab, locking the door behind her as she left. She needed to be away. She needed to breath. Carli slipped into the cab and leaned back as she told the driver where to go, and he glanced at her for a long moment. The radio was on and she heard a familiar song come on, and she took a deep breath. She heard Troy's voice and then her own, and a tear slid down her cheek. Was this the part of Eric that had gone all wrong? Was the time in LA the part where things had taken this depraved turn? She tried to focus on the beautiful song that her friend had written, and she saw Pam's broken face in her mind the first day that she had seen her. She saw the smile as Pam held her after they had sex, and she closed her eyes tightly together. Carli saw the look on Eric's face at her hotel door after the explosion, and the love was apparent to her as he had pulled her into his arms.

Carli was alerted by the driver that she was home, and she pulled money from her purse to pay him. She walked into the dimly lit apartment, chaining the door behind her after making sure that Travis's door was closed and he was there. She walked back to her room, glancing at the clock to see that it was three am as she sat on her bed. Carli dropped her purse on the floor and walked into her bathroom, running a hot bubble bath as she tried not to think about the late hour. She closed her door and undressed, slipping into it with a long sigh of relief. She closed her eyes in the dim light of the candles she had lit, and took a breath. "Car? Are you okay?" Her eyes opened slowly at Travis's soft voice, and she bit her lip and winced.

"I'm so sorry, Trav. I just wanted to soak for awhile."

"It's fine. Do you need to talk or anything?" Travis asked, and she smiled at his sweet offer.

"Come in, if you want. I really just needed to…..cleanse." Carli said, and he sat behind her and rubbed her neck. That didn't hurt and she leaned her head forward.

"You're tense." Travis noted, and she smiled bitterly in agreement. His hands rubbed her neck and then her shoulders, and she felt his hands in the hot water. "That feels good, the water." Travis said, and she turned her head to look at him.

"Want to come in? It is a big tub and you would have your own end." Carli offered, and his eyes looked curiously at her.

"Would you mind?" Travis asked, and she shook her head. They had lived on tour buses and in apartments together for periods of time, and the closeness didn't bother her. It made her remember their moments together and how he felt pressed against her, but she pushed that away. "I'll keep these on." He stood and indicated to his boxers and she nodded. He slipped into the other end and slid his feet over her calves, stopping at her knees. He looked at her for a long moment, and she slid under the water for along moment to wet her hair. She slid back up and he spoke. "What is wrong, Carli?" He had seen her distraction when they sat together writing, when they were out eating or hanging out, and obviously now. He had read the troubled words that she had written, and had remained complimentary but not curious.

"I just want to know myself again, Trav." Carli said slowly, and stared at the water. "I feel out of control and like I am losing everything I know."

"You will never lose yourself completely, Carli. You just need to change things around until you are happy with them." Travis suggested, and she stared at him. "I know how strong you can be. I know how good you are."

"Really?" Carli asked with a bitter laugh, and leaned her head back. "I am nothing like that."

"You are. It dies not matter what you have done before this moment because you can always change what happens from now on. Don't do whatever it is that makes you feel this way about yourself."

"Was I strong when I was with him?"

"Ryan, you mean?" Travis asked, and she nodded slowly.

"You guys were good together for awhile. You seemed to ground each other, but I think that life got in the way and things just happened. You went your way and he went his." Travis said, and she blinked as sadness hit her.

"Do you ever regret that night in the bus?" Carli asked, and his eyes deepened as she looked at him.

"I can still taste you, Carli. I guess that part of me does, but I wouldn't want to ever forget it." Travis told her, and she smiled.

"What part of me?" Carli pressed, and he looked down.

"I taste your lips, your skin, and….. inside of you. Why do you ask?" Travis replied shortly, and she closed her eyes.

"I wish that I had not shut you out after that night the way that I did. I liked the feeling of you." Carli said, and shook her head. "It's too late. I have done too much to even go back."

"What made you go to her?" Travis asked, and she raised her eyebrow. "When did it happen the first time?"

"I'm not sure. I was at a party the first time, and she touched me. We didn't sleep together that night, but I knew that I liked it. After that, she was in LA and lost her girlfriend during my time there recording and I spent the night with her. I comforted her. I like Pam, but it has gotten so out of control."

"How does Eric feel about it?" Travis asked, and she remembered earlier as Eric had asked her to touch herself. She had spread her legs, wet from Pam's tongue, and fingered her sensitive clit as he pushed Pam onto her knees and entered her. They had fucked hard, and his eyes has been on Carli's pussy for a long time before he finally closed his eyes and came inside of her friend. Carli shuddered a little, not sure how to sort her feelings about the event. "Is he jealous?"

"Not anymore," Carl replied in a hoarse voice, and looked up at Travis. "He found a way around that."

Travis looked back at her, and understanding passed over his face. "Oh. He is making you do both of them?"

"I didn't stop it." Carli said, and pulled her knees up to rest her head on them. It had started with her lovers pleasing her and her only, watching the other find ways to make her happy during the times that they were all together. Pam loved the times alone at Eric's if he was out, searching Carli's body for any way to make her orgasm. Carli worked to return every favor, and she would like when Eric would come home to fuck her as Pam rode her eager mouth. Eric was still demanding of his own time, and he would take her out like any good boyfriend and she could see the love under all of the romantic gestures before they got home and he would turn it into something else. He knew where to lick, where to bite, and where to fuck her and she liked it all. He had taken to watching Pam use various toys on Carli, and then Carli using them on Pam as he watched before he could not handle it anymore and would take her. The night he had first reached for Pam instead had taken her by surprise, though she had still found herself wet at the sight and the sounds they made and came against her own hand. She watched every time after that, seeing how they moved together and hearing what they said, and she could see the comfort. She could see the way that they moved so easily together, and Carli knew that there was more there than a moment in a threesome. She had left the apartment that night as it had hurt her finally and deeply, and now she looked at Travis. "I never said no to any of it. Now I know how bad an idea it was and I should have walked away."

"Oh, Car." Travis said, and she blinked as tears filled her eyes. "I wish I knew what to say."

"I wish that I had chosen you after that night." Carli said, and he only looked quietly at her. "I know I have gone too far to even think that it could be normal with us."

"Do you want there to be an us?" Travis asked, and she shrugged.

"I want normal." Carli said, and he moved forward to press his chest against her knees and stroke back her hair. "I almost wish I had not left Ryan sometimes. Is that crazy?"

"No. I wish he was here as well." Carli let the tears slide down her cheeks and he kissed her hair until they got out, him first as he held a towel over his wet shorts.

"Can you hold me tonight?" Carli asked, as he started to walk out. "I don't want to be alone." He looked at her and nodded and she smiled gratefully. Travis left the room and she dried off and dressed in shorts and a long tee, and brushed her teeth and hair before getting under the covers. Her pain was less, and she curled up as she rested against her pillows. Travis entered the room and she watched as he got under the covers and leaned forward to kiss her hair again. She straightened her legs and he pulled her against his bare chest as she slid her arms around him and pressed against his warmth. She kissed his skin slowly and he gripped her hair as she slid her lips unknowingly over his chest, and she felt him harden in his dry shorts. Carli's eyes widened and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Travis. I think I forgot where I was and who you were for a moment. I just wanted to be close to your warmth."

"Carli, you really know how to make me forget how to control myself." Travis told her, and she closed her eyes and held him. She felt his hand loosen in her hair and she slowly drifted off to sleep as he stroked her back soothingly, and slept peacefully in his close embrace. She woke up in the afternoon and slowly moved away from him, blushing as she remembered the night before. She had lost herself there for a second, and she shook her head angrily at herself. Travis was her best friend and she didn't need to cross that line. She had her chance with him and had run back to Eric, but for what? Even the deep love that she had felt for him was fading slowly, and she wondered if they ever had any chance of being normal. Carli used the bathroom and went to make a cup of coffee, sitting at the bistro table as she stared outside for a long moment. Her phone rang and she hurried to the bedroom to grab her purse and bring it to the living room as she looked at it, sighing as she saw Eric's name. She chose to ignore it and returned to the table and sipped her coffee again. The afternoon seemed pretty peaceful without the drama that would probably occur if she spoke her mind. She settled on the couch with her notebook and pen, staring at it before she scribbled words here and there. "Hey." Travis greeted her, and she glanced up to see him standing in the entrance to the hallway in a pair of shorts with his hair rumpled. "Sleep OK?"

"I did. Thanks for listening to me and holding me last night. I have kind of missed that since the tour and staying in Chicago with you." Carli admitted, and he nodded at her. "It was comforting, though I am a bit ashamed to even consider what you must think of me."

"I think that you can move past anything. It has been a rough few months, and I am sure that contributes to any of it." Travis replied, and she glanced up to see discomfort pass over his face. "I am sure that you will figure it out."

"You'll always be there for me, Travis? I never want to fuck up so badly that you would be gone." Carli said, and he smiled.

"I don't see that happening." Travis said as he passed her on the way to the kitchen. "I do want you to be happy though." Her phone rang again and he brought it to her, and she saw Pam's name. she ignored that as well, and stared at her paper again as Travis joined her on the couch. They wrote together and played melodies for awhile, and then showered and left to get something for dinner. She could see the curious look in his eyes from time to time that night, and she happily settled in his arms that night when they were done watching movies. He slid his arms around her waist and settled behind her, and she felt his lips against her hair. They fell asleep slowly, talking about the upcoming record and the writing, and she smiled as his fingertips stroked her stomach slowly. She woke up to a knocking at the door, and her eyes slowly opened as she sighed. Carli stood up and pulled a shirt over her tight tank top and shorts and stumbled through the living room. She peeked through the door and saw Pam there, her hair curly around her beautiful face.

"What?" Carli asked, opening the door only as far as the chain would let her.

"Nice greeting. Can I come in?" Pam asked, her eyes changing into slow anger as she saw hurt the look in Carli's eyes.

"Not here." Carli said, and Pam rolled her eyes.

"I would like to talk, Carli. Eric would like to talk as well. Meet us for a drink later tonight after our event?" Pam's eyes were hopeful, and Carli sighed.

"I'll think about it." Carli said, and Pam stared at her for a long time. "Just text me later and tell me where you are thinking about. I suppose I do owe that to you."

"You do." Pam assured her, and walked away slowly. Carli closed and locked the door, and went back to bed and snuggled up to Travis. He pulled her to him and she kissed his shoulder softly, and he ruffled her hair. They got up and made lunch later and worked through some more songs, as they did daily, and then she took a very long shower. Her phone chimed as she got out and she glanced at it to see that it was from Pam and it listed the name of a restaurant near her. She stared into the mirror and figured that she owed them a proper goodbye. She put on some bright make up and brushed her hair straight slowly, pulling on a black skirt and long sleeved pink shirt with boots, and stepped out of her room. Travis was dressed himself and he glanced at her with a whistle. He asked where she was going and she said that she was going to explain some things to Eric, and he frowned at her. He mentioned that he was going to go out with some friends and they both pulled on jackets and headed to the door. Before they opened it, Travis looked into her face before leaning down and pecking her glossed lips.

"Be careful and stay strong, Car."

"Thanks. I will." Carli replied, leaning up for another longer kiss. "See you later?"

"Sure thing." Travis replied, looking worriedly at her. They left and she started walking to the place she was meeting them, and stepped inside the glass doors when she saw the sign. She glanced around the small but nice place and saw just Eric at the table, dressed in black slacks and a white button up shirt that was loosened around the neck. He was speaking to the waitress and smiling at her, when his eyes met Carli's. He nodded at the waitress, who turned and started to give Carli a dirty look before she smiled. She greeted her as a fan as Carli walked up, and she forced herself to smile and be friendly as she fought the power he had over her being so close. His eyes burned into her the whole time and she took a deep breath when the girl finally walked away. Carli looked at Eric, who leaned down to brush her cheek gently with his lips as he met her eyes.

"Carli. I am glad that you came tonight." Eric spoke low, and she nodded slowly as she stared at him. She still felt the brush of Travis's lips on hers, but Eric's blue eyes melted her slowly. "You just left me, left us, the other night." He kissed her on the lips then, and she slid her arms over his hips to hold on as she felt her knees weaken. When he pulled away, she looked down and took a deep breath. Eric quickly took her coat, his eyes raking over her tight fitting shirt as he hung it on her chair that he pulled out for her. She sat down and ordered a martini from the waitress and picked up the menu and stared at it as Eric stared at her. "Why did you go?"

"It has gotten a bit…..intense for me now." Carli replied softly, and bit her lip. "I don't want to be involved in any of it anymore."

"You do not want me any longer?" Eric questioned her, and she met his eyes as he took one of her hands from the menu and laced his long fingers through it, leaning closely to her.

"I don't want to share." Carli specified, and he raised a blond eyebrow at her.

"Yet you were fine with jumping back and forth between beds?" Eric asked her, close enough and soft enough for nobody to hear.

"I tried it, Eric. It is not me and not what I want." Carli said weakly, staring at their hands. The waitress came back and she ordered a salad without much thought and he ordered a dinner and another martini. "I don't know anymore who you want more."

"You never thought it would transcend into more, Carli? You had to realize I would end up doing more as time went on, and sex with both of you seemed to be right at the moment. You let her do many things to you that is very similar to what I do. I am not complaining at all, lover. Pam means nothing to me compared to you. I see you when I see her now as a result of our shared nights together, and I connect her with you. It is as simple as that."

"That is not simple, Eric. None of this is simple. I wish I had never met you sometimes when I think about it." Carli blinked her watering eyes and he slid a hand under her chin to meet his blazing blue eyes.

"I will never forget meeting you, my love. It was such an mundane afternoon until I heard your laughter as you stepped through that door, and looked into your beautiful face. I was so lucky to kiss you, touch you, and even more so to fall in love with you. I do not want to lose you." Eric told her, and she let a tear run down her cheek. "You do not want to lose me either. "

"Eric, I cannot pretend it all didn't happen." Carli said, and looked down at the table as the waitress set their food down. She felt stupid crying there, and she wiped her eyes with a small gesture.

"Eat, lover. Calm down and we will talk after dinner." Eric urged her, and she nodded. She took a small bite of the chicken on the huge salad and chewed it thoughtfully, and Eric started on his plate.

"Where is she? Where is Pam?" Carli asked, and he looked at her in surprise.

"I asked if we could be alone for dinner." Eric replied, and she met his eyes. "She has things to say as well, but I wanted dinner to be between us."

"Well, we will be meeting somewhere then. I am not going to your apartment tonight." Carli told him, and his eyes questioned her words silently. They ate slowly and she mentioned going to Chicago for the tour, hoping to make ending things easier. She would be gone for awhile, and she figured that might make a difference. He paid for the dinner gracefully, handing the folder back to the waitress with a card inserted in faster than Carli could blink.

"A proper man buys his girlfriend dinner." Eric told her, standing up to help her with her coat as she stood with a shake of her head. He took her hand as they left the building, and stroked her gently with his thumb. "Come somewhere quiet with me where we can talk." She looked up at him and his eyes were burning into hers, and she pressed her lips together. A few nights ago they were painfully swollen but tonight she longed to kiss him badly as their gazes locked. He read her mind and leaned down to meet her lips and she felt his hand slide into her hair. Carli wanted to fight him but her lips opened eagerly to allow him to deepen the kiss, and she whimpered against his mouth. A few kisses later as they walked and she found himself in the elevator in his building, pressed against the wall as he kissed her deeply.

"Eric." Carli tried to protest as the door opened and he whisked her out to his door, pushing her inside and slamming her into that wall to kiss her again as he dropped his keys. "Eric, I don't want this." His hands slid over her hard nipples slowly, teasing her as he smiled. Her bra could not even conceal them, and he squeezed tightly as she leaned back and moaned. Her legs trembled and her boy shorts were soaked, and he lifted her and carried her to the couch. He slid her over his lap and kissed her again, and she allowed him to lift her shirt off. He pulled the bra off eagerly afterwards, and she pinched her eyes closed as he pinched her nipples hard and slid his tongue against hers. She could not protest further, and she cried out in relief as he finally bit down on a nipple with his teeth as he drew it into his mouth.

"I knew you wanted me as much as I did you." Eric breathed against her as she arched her back. She ripped at his shirt, and he removed it for her as she slid her nails down his chest. She felt herself lifted again and carried into the bedroom, where she was dropped onto the bed. She looked around slowly, reliving some rough moments as he slid her skirt down and tossed it to the floor. He dropped over her and kissed her again, moving down her body to kiss her neck and breasts before he moved down to her stomach. She slid her hands into his hair as he slid his fingers gently over her damp underwear with a pleased smile. His long fingers slid under them and over her throbbing folds as she bit her lip hard, and he stroked her clit as he stared at her face.

"Oh, god." Carli moaned as she parted her legs eagerly for him so he could freely finger her. She moaned as she felt him inside of her and again stroking her swollen clit and she gripped the sheets.

"There you are." Pam's voice carried into the room, and Carli tried to focus as she felt the impending orgasm coming on.

"You can have the top half. I am busy down here." Eric said, and Carli began to protest but she came against his hand instead as she arched her back. Pam took a nipple into her soft mouth and bit, and Carli cried out loudly at the combination. Her tongue moved expertly over Carli's skin and her teeth teased her just right before Pam kissed her deeply. "Take off your clothes." Carli heard Eric's voice dimly and she felt Pam moving about as their tongues danced wildly. Pam moaned sharply against Carli's lips and Eric went away for a moment as Carli tired to protest. "Sit on her face while I fuck her, Pam. You seem to be good and wet, and very ready."

"What?" Carli moaned, staring up into Pam's pussy as she blinked. It looked delicious and wet and she leaned her face up to lick her eagerly as her friend moaned and moved her hips. She sucked her clit between her teeth and felt Eric move between her legs to do the same.

"You taste so good, lover." Eric said after a few slow and thorough swipes, before he really started tormenting her with his deep sucks and long tongue. She was sweating again when he entered her, and she took a moment to breath. "Make her come, Carli. Lick all of it up as she does." She returned to Pam, grunting as he fucked her deeply and he friend began moving over her tongue. Carli lifted a hand to slide a finger inside of her tight walls and sucked on her clit as Pam cried out and bucked harder. She came with a near scream and Carli felt her dripping onto her lips as she sucked it all in, and that was when Eric delivered his deepest thrust and made me open her mouth to scream his name as she flooded his cock with her orgasm. Pam collapsed next to her and she felt him drop down to kiss her and taste her lips with his darting tongue. "I love you, Carli. Rest up for a moment because we are not through yet."

Eric kissed her body with his roving mouth and she craved him again as he pulled away with a slow smile. "What?"

"I will honor your wishes and not have any further sex with Pam, but you will have to step in." He leaned over to open a drawer and pull out a large dildo to hand to her. "Fuck her with this, Carli. Then she can return the favor as I watch and wait for my second turn."

"Mmmm." Pam murmured as she rolled to her back and parted her legs. "I could care less if it was real or fake."

"But you looked like you have had sex before us." Carli said, staring at her friend as she looked at her with eager eyes.

"Of course we have, but after this began. It is very easy to be turned on these days." Eric told her, as she sat up slowly. "I want you much more." He slipped his hand around to her nipples, and she slid the tip of the dildo into Pam. "Fuck her hard." Eric whispered and she winced as she slid it in deeper. She had done this before and she knew what Pam liked, and something took over in her as she brought her friend to low screams as she writhed on the bed. He kissed her neck and stroked her skin and she brought her fingers to her lips afterwards to taste them. Eric told her to get on her knees and Pam moved behind her as she inserted the toy at Carli's entrance. It stretched her and Carli dropped her head forward as Pam moved it deeper. She soon found herself bucking against it, drawing it deeper until she cried out hoarsely and dropped to the mattress. Eric moved behind her hard and ready, and slid himself inside of her as her orgasm was ending. She moaned and he drove himself deep into her as she felt him lift her. She came weakly and he rested over her as Pam took a deep breath.

"You don't really want to give this up, do you?" Pam asked her, and Carli closed her eyes as the wall of regret hit her at full force. She really did, but she had no idea how to as she felt her lovers bodies around her. Eric kissed her as Pam stroked her hair, and she sighed silently.


	22. A Game Im Always Losing

I do not own any True Blood characters, though I don't know why I write that every time. They're humans this time!

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Carli stared at the ceiling again, feeling like she was right back to the same uncomfortable place she had already been. Eric was laying beside her, and Pam had gotten up and apparently went into the guest room. If she was trying to give the privacy, it was a little late for that. He closed his eyes wearily and stroked her stomach as she rested on her back, feeling like she needed to bold out of there. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but she knew that she was only waiting for him to sleep so she could get out of there and hurry home. She felt like a whore laying there after what had happened, time and time again, and she was so tired of it. She missed feeling normal and feeling good about herself, and she thought about the album and the upcoming holidays with a hopeful smile. Eric's breathing evened out and she slid out from under his long arm and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She splashed cold water on her face and fixed herself up, and walked out and looked at him. He seemed to be asleep, and she took one last look at his long torso as she sighed quietly. He was perfect in this quiet and from this view, but really so flawed if she thought too deep. They both were. She dressed and got her purse, and walked towards the door as she slid her necklace off quietly. She stared at it for a long moment, letting the diamonds catch the lights enough to sparkle, and then quickly hung it up on the doorknob. "Carli." His soft voice made her jump, and she closed her eyes for a moment. She heard him walking, but she would not look up as he stopped before her. "Where are you going?"

"I…I can't keep doing this." Carli said, and shook her head. "I am leaving soon anyway for awhile, and I might as well cut this off now. There is no point in continuing."

"Are you returning to New York? Have you decided to run away from me now and pretend that you don't care?" Eric's voice dropped to a cold tone, and she glanced up at his lightening eyes.

"I am not running. I am working and spending time with family for the holidays, which is all normal for people to do." Carli said softly, and he stared curiously at her. He glanced at the necklace and back at her face, and she blinked nervously. "I can't look at it anymore. That was a gift out of love, and now this is anything but love. It is all wrapped up in lust and desire and it is sick now."

"I have never forced you to do anything." Eric said, and she laughed bitterly.

"I know. That is one of the sickest parts. I want normal and healthy, and I want what I have had before." Carli said, thinking of Ryan for a fleeting second as her eyes stung. "I just need to step away and work for awhile and get back into my groove."

"It has been a rough few months for you, Carli. I get that. But we can be normal and healthy if that is what you want." Eric insisted, cupping her cheek with his hand and focusing his shimmering eyes on her. He looked like he had tears in them, and she frowned as he brushed her lips. "I love you and always have."

Carli sighed and slid her hands around his waist and kissed him for a long moment, wishing that things were different. "I have too many bad images in my head now, Eric. I can't do this anymore."

"I have a few as well." Eric admitted, and slid his hands back through her hair. "I have regrets, lover. I have them, but I would like to move past them and work this out."

"I need a break. I need to go home." Carli replied, and closed her eyes as he searched her mouth with his.

"You live here." Eric murmured against her lips, and she smiled.

"I have an address here. I miss my family." Carli said, and pulled him to her again. "I will miss you. Let's see what comes of this break."

"I will give you that." Eric told her, and they looked at each other. He kissed her long and hard, and she stumbled out of the front door as he tried to give her back the necklace. She didn't want it, and she told him to tell Pam goodbye and then walked to the elevator. She called for a cab as she stepped into the main lobby and waited inside for it, thankful that Eric had not followed her down. The apartment was empty when she arrived home, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she undressed and stepped into a hot shower. She could wash the feeling from her skin, but not from her memory. Carli pulled on a loose shirt and some shorts and crawled under her covers as she pulled them tightly around her, curiosity giving way towards Travis's whereabouts. Perhaps he had decided to spend the night with someone and knew that pursuing anything with her was not good for him. It wasn't. She shivered and felt her self hatred sinking in, and closed her eyes as she felt the need for sleep washing over her.

Carli woke up in the early afternoon after sleeping fitfully, and got up to make some coffee. Travis was on the couch in shorts with his notebook and she smiled at him wanly as she strolled by. "Have a good night?" Her voice was soft and he glanced up at her with searching eyes.

"Yeah, the band was great. I ended up at Bryan's after and fell asleep on his couch." Travis replied, and she nodded as she popped the container into the coffee maker. "How did yours go?"

"It went." Carli replied shortly, not wanting to get into it. She was surprised that he still cared about her as much as he did after knowing the little she had let on to.

"Oh. OK." Travis responded after a moment, and she pulled her cup from under the spout. "So I talked to the band last night and they are looking to set up studio time. We'll need time to sit together and work on the stuff, and Thanksgiving is coming up as well."

"Yeah, that sounds great, Let's go soon." Carli agreed, finally stepping out of the kitchen and sitting on the couch. "I miss Chicago."

"Do you?" Travis asked her, and she felt his eyes on her.

"Yeah, I do." Carli replied, meeting his gaze. "I want to be where the home fires burn for awhile, as sappy as that might sound."

"I will set it up for a couple of weeks from now. We'll have time to write some that way, and still manage to meet with the others before we get the studio. Thanksgiving falls right in that time as well, so that will be good. You might be gone a month or so though. Is that a problem? Travis asked her, and she heard the deep curiosity in his voice.

"Not at all. Probably a good idea actually." Carli told him, and he leaned over and kissed her hair.

"Sorry, Car." Travis told her, and she shrugged. He probably assumed that her and Eric had just ended things over dinner, and she was fine with that idea. The truth was much worse. They made lunch and worked on writing songs and playing chords, and that became their lives. They would go out to eat or for drinks sometimes, but otherwise were in the house working. Carli didn't feel up to a lot of socializing, and writing was a great sense of therapy for her and a nice way to remain quiet. Travis still slept in her room, but she brushed off any attempts he made towards becoming closer. He got the hint and stopped, but she could still feel something between them. She got through the week and then half of the other week by obsessing about writing and thinking of little else, and was a bit relieved when she needed to run out and grab stuff for her trip. Travis was out with friends again, and she stuffed her laptop into a messenger bag and pulled it over her body. Carli was walking by her Starbucks and she glanced in to see her favorite couch empty in the corner, and she stepped inside and ordered a chai tea latte and grabbed it. She set up her computer and threw the bag next to her, and popped in ear buds to go over what the band had emailed to her as far as songs and lyrics again. It felt good to be out of the house and wearing something other than sweats, and she took a deep breath and inhaled the warm scent of the coffee in the room. Carli listened to the files and hummed along, and jumped when someone touched her shoulder.

"Hey there." Carli greeted her friend and fellow singer Brad, pulling out the ear buds. He sat down and they chatted about the new record and his band for awhile before he looked closely at her. He asked how she was doing since Ryan's death, and she told him that she was okay and getting through it. Brad bought her another drink and set it down before he bid her farewell, and they both looked up as her duet came over the speakers. Some of the fans in the room clapped softly, and she blushed as she met Brad's gaze.

"This is really good, Car." Brad told her, his indigo eyes warm on her as he looked down.

"Thanks. Troy gets most of the credit." Carli smiled as she looked back at him, still pained by the song and the memories associated with it. He got a text and had to leave, and he kissed her hair before rushing out of the door. Carli murmured the words of the last chorus and glanced up to see Eric in line staring at her, and she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She had been doing better not seeing him or talking to him. She had been feeling relatively normal. He got his drink and walked towards her, and she noticed his white shirt that he had loosely unbuttoned with a press of her lips.

"I have such a tendency of walking past this place and looking in, and today you are here." Eric said softly, and looked down at her as if asking permission to sit. She nodded silently as she stared at the floor, and he sat closely to her as she took a deep breath. "I thought you might be gone already."

"A few days from now." Carli confirmed, brushing her hair back with one hand. She snuck a glance at him, and watched him loosen another button on the shirt and she longed to finish the job and rip it off of his body. She met his gaze and saw the same raw need in his, and she could not look away. "I have a lot to do there to get ready for the studio, living away from them and all."

"I would imagine." Eric murmured, and she bit her lip. "Are you doing well, Carli? I wanted to give you some space after our…..last meeting."

"That is a vague word to describe it." Carli said, and his eyes expressed some sorrow. He reached over and stroked the back of her neck and up into her hair, rubbing gently as she sighed. His fingertips felt hot against her skin and she fought the urge to moan. "I'm fine, Eric. You?" Her voice was breathy and she winced inside.

"I would say that I am surviving." Eric told her softly, and she leaned her head back unconsciously. "Can I take you to lunch today? I would love to spend some time with you and talk."

"We are here. We can talk." Carli said, fighting going anywhere with him. Her body was reacting to him, tightening low inside and dampening between her legs. She was so horny with just that touch, and she forced herself to look forward and focus. How could he do this to her so easily?

"That is very true, but I am hungry." Eric told her, and she felt his hands in her hair, tugging on a strand. She imagined him behind her tugging on it, and bit her lip hard to keep from reacting to the image with a sound. "It can be something simple. That deli we like?"

Carli found herself on his couch and hour later, the sandwiches on the table as they kissed hungrily. She was straddling him, and his hands were roaming her back as their tongues met eagerly. Her hoodie was on the floor by the door, but she was pleased that her clothes were still on even if her denim skirt was pushed up her hips to allow her close proximity to him. She was getting lost in him and she moaned against his lips. Carli felt him pull on her hair as he moved his lips to her earlobe and neck slowly, and she took a deep breath. "You just wanted to get me here."

"I saw your eyes and your body language, Carli. You wanted to be here." Eric countered, pushing her back onto the couch gently, as her legs remained around him as he turned to face her. She knew that her thin wife beater did nothing to hide her arousal, and she glanced at Eric to see the pleased smile on his face. "I love it when you are in this state of need." She wished she would have thought about a bra, but the thought was lost as he slid his palm up her stomach and between her breasts slowly, not quite close enough to her hard nipples. Carli arched her back and he slid his fingertip around one nipple slowly as she closed her eyes. His hand moved to the thick band of her thigh high tights, and above it to the soft skin and she felt his eyes burning into her. "I want something, Carli."

Her eyes opened widely as she looked at him, scared of what it could be. He looked at her with reassuring eyes, and reached for her hand that was gripping a pillow tightly next to her. "What?"

"Carli, do not be so jumpy. This is just us." He put her hand between her legs, over the lace boy shorts that were soaked through at this point. "I want you to touch yourself for me. I want to watch you make yourself orgasm like you used to." She used to when they were a threesome, and the idea filled her with distaste until his finger softly stroked her clit. She jumped visibly and he chuckled. "Finish the job, lover. You're so wet and ready." She was and she stroked herself over the material slowly, whimpering as her body responded. Eric moved back to give her room, parting her legs and settling them around him again, and she looked at him.

"Do you want these on or off?" Her hand slid over the lace slowly, and he swallowed.

"On for now. I will make sure they are removed when I cannot take it anymore."

"In that case…." Carli slid her hand down the front and found her wet center, swollen and throbbing. She stroked her folds and slipped a finger inside, moaning at the tight feeling around her. She has been doing this frequently during her hard to find alone time, missing Eric and his touch since their part. Carli needed release and she stroked her clit with a whimper, closing her eyes and giving in to the sensation. Her whole body felt connected to her touch and she parted her legs further as she felt his hands brush her thigh. She heard his voice urging her, low and seductive, and it reverberated through her and added to the building up of her impending orgasm. She blinked to see him staring at her with dark eyes, his pants unbuckled and his hands stroking himself over them slowly as he watched her. Carli gasped as he slid her underwear off roughly without slowing her, and he leaned in closer to see her fingers moving. She told him that she was close and cried out his name as the first wave hit her, and she desperately tried to keep it coming. She felt him move and suddenly his face was between her legs, his lips sucking her clit into his mouth as she screamed his name. He drew out the powerful orgasm with his lips and tongue, even his teeth, and she realized that she needed him this way. Alone it was merely a release built on a memory of them together, but together is was an explosion. She finally felt herself slowing and she rested quietly as he licked her and tasted her hungrily.

"You taste so fucking good. I never want to taste anyone but you, Carli." Eric said after a particularly hard stroke of his tongue. She moaned again and felt him sit up. He picked her up and carried her to his bed effortlessly, and she heard the button and zipper of her denim mini as he removed it. Carli pulled off her shirt on her own, and he pulled her into his lap to suck her nipples into his mouth hard. She lifted herself and slid her arms around his neck as his hands gripped her ass and slid around to stroke her clit again. Carli gripped his hair tightly and moaned as her body responded again, and he bit down on her nipple and made her cry out. "Tell me what you want, Carli." Eric murmured into her ear, and she felt her knees buckle. Carli wanted him inside of her, stretching her and hurting her, and she felt shame wash over her for a moment.

"I want you to fuck me, Eric. I want you to fuck me hard." Carli whispered, and he pushed her back and slid his tip inside of her. "Oh, god. I need you, Eric. Fuck me now." He slowly slid himself all the way inside of her, and she moaned as she stretched and adjusted. It was a good pain, and she slid her legs around him.

"Your tight pussy is all I need, Carli." Eric told her, before driving himself into her harder. He increased it until she was nearly screaming his name as he passed over her sweet spot again and again. He filled her beyond capacity and she memorized the feeling of him inside of her, and the feeling of her tightening around him before she released as she screamed his name. Eric moaned and came right after, and she felt him spill inside of her forcefully. She was glad that she had stayed on the pill, and she pulled him down to her for a long kiss. She tasted herself on him and she eagerly licked around his lips as he let her. "Do you miss that taste on your lips, Carli?"

"It is a thing of my past." Carli responded, and their eyes met. "I only ever wanted you, Eric."

"I feel the same."

"But you reached for her. You wanted her over me." Carli said, and the hurt was evident in her voice. The hurt was in her eyes and he moved next to her and pulled her close.

"It was the heat of the moment. There were times I didn't know what I was even doing until I was already there. I regret those times now. I regret ever letting anyone else in." Eric told her, and she saw the pain in his eyes. "I love you, Carli. I always did."

"Did you fuck her after I left?" Carli asked after a long moment, and he looked away.

"We tried to. We both felt left and empty, and we thought we could comfort each other. It was obvious that everything was built around you and we did nothing for each other alone. I only see her during work now, Carli. It ruined us and our friendship, just like it ruined you and I. But you're here now." Eric said regretfully, and she blinked sadly.

"Everybody says that threesomes are so great. The ultimate fantasy." Carli murmured, and shook her head. "All I feel is pain and sadness."

"Regret." Eric finished for her, and they looked at each other. "Did you ever love Pam in any way?"

"I was very attracted to her for one reason or another. I never loved her, but I could not stay away. I knew that I was always in love with you. I am sorry that you and her are not doing well right now, and maybe even that I will not see her. We were friends."

Eric pulled her to him for another kiss, and she pushed him to his back. Carli moved over him, and even in their strain their bodies reacted to one another easily. They moved to kissing hungrily and hard, and he pressed against her as he hardened. She slid down his body and took him into her mouth, tasting everything again. She licked and sucked and he gripped her hair tightly, telling her to move to her knees as she felt him tightening in her mouth. She did, and he forced her into the pillows as he drove himself into her, muffling her noises. They both came together, and she collapsed to the bed, and he rolled over and stroked her back. She giggled, and glanced back at him. "What, lover?"

"I think I am hungry. How about those sandwiches?"


	23. Again

I do not own Eric, though I have many naughty thoughts about him all of the time. I will share them with you here and now, so enjoy and drop me your thoughts if you would!

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Carli sat on the couch in one of his button ups, and looked down at her thigh highs as he got their drinks for their lunch. She shook her head and he looked curiously at her as he walked back over to them. "What is it?"

"You left these on." Carli said, and he grinned at her.

"It was very sexy to bend you over and see those on." Eric assured her, handing her his sandwich. "Here you go, my eager little lover." She snorted and took it, unwrapping it slowly as she felt his gaze on her. She took a slow bite, loving the taste of the food and realizing she would miss it during her absence. She thought about Chicago and all of her favorite places to eat there, her favorite places to visit. Carli could practically taste the turkey that Ryan's mom made so well, and smell the kitchen as she worked in it. Eric's voice interrupted her thoughts and she shook her head and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, Eric. What?"

"When are you leaving, Carli?" His voice was low, and she heard his discontent with it.

"In three days we fly back." Carli replied, and did not look at him.

"How long will you be there?" Eric asked, and she sighed out loud.

"Awhile. I am going to be meeting with them to get ready to record, there is the holiday, and then we go to the studio. It will be about three weeks, at least." Carli told him, and glanced his way.

"When we got together, I pictured the holiday with you. I would cook a great meal and we would decorate a tree, and make love in front of it with only the lights of the tree on." Eric said, and she felt a sting in her eyes. "I guess that won't be happening."

"My family is there in Chicago. I have spent it there for years now." Carli said softly, and he nodded. "I can't imagine not being there with the family and my friends."

"I know." Eric said, and they sat in silence as they finished their food. She went to get dressed in her clothes and he walked in as she looked up. "You don't have to go."

"I have things to pick up before my trip, Eric. I can't just stay here and ignore my life." Carli told him, and he nodded and glanced at the clock.

"I do have an event soon." Eric said in a resigned voice, and she pulled her skirt on slowly. She pulled her shirt back on and fixed her hair, finding her underwear and hoodie as she glazed at him. "Come here tomorrow night, Carli. I want to see you if I can before I lose you again."

"Me, too." Carli replied, and they stared at each other for a long moment before he leaned in to kiss her deeply. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer, and slid her tongue into his mouth eagerly. She barely got out of there without getting her clothes torn off again, and she stumbled into the elevator slowly with heavy eyes. She heard the voice of an eager fan and smiled weakly as she looked up to return the greeting, and walked out onto thr street with the girl. Carli found a store and wandered in, seeking the perfect sweater for Thanksgiving for the cold weather they were having. She looked at this and wandered over to that, and held up a burnt orange sweater to herself as she gazed in the mirror. She saw the other pair of eyes watching her. Carli met the blue eyes and stared for a moment and hastily looked at the scoop neck sweater, and put it back.

"It suits you, but I would like you in something a little more feminine of a color myself." Pam said, walking up to her and looking hesitantly at her. "Hello, Carli." She looked closer at Carli and her eyebrow rose slowly. "You have that wild look about you, darling. Have you been with Eric today?"

"This is for Thanksgiving, Pam. It should be in a fall color." Carli told her, and Pam stared at her. Carli could not lie to her, and she dropped the act as she sighed. "I was. I just left."

"He always gave you that just got fucked really hard look." Pam said softly, and Carli looked at her.

"You did as well." Carli said, and Pam smiled appreciatively.

"Do I get a turn as well?"

"I am dealing with what I just did, Pam. Slow down a little." Carli said, trying to focus on the clothes around her.

"Let me help you." Pam offered, and Carli looked at her. Pam began to look, and they shared looks here and there as they began to find things for her to try on. Carli went into the dressing room and began to pull the shirts over her head to try them, and she hesitantly stepped out to show Pam her favorites. The women managed to find a deep plum sweater and a pair of black slacks for Carli, and they paused outside of the store. "I assume you're leaving for the holiday then?"

"For quite awhile." Carli replied, not wanting to do this again.

"Can I see you before you go?"

"Alone?" Carli asked, and Pam met her eyes.

"Unless you want to be the happy threesome again?" Pam asked her, and Carli shivered. "It really fell apart, didn't it?"

"It did." Carli replied, and looked down. "I'll call you. Maybe?"

"I'll take that." Pam told her, and Carli watched her walk away. She let her eyes linger on her ass in the tight fitting jeans, and Pam glanced over her shoulder as their eyes met. Carli clutched her bag and went to a few other stores before returning home to find Travis sitting on the couch with his guitar.

"Hey, Car. I got you some of those Thai noodles on the way home. They are in the fridge." Travis told her, and she smiled at him. "What did you buy?"

"Something for Thanksgiving." Carli replied, and held up the pants and the sweater. "Should I dye my hair purple to match?"

"You'll look beautiful." Travis told her, and she smiled at him as she met his gaze. "Doing the usual?"

"Yeah, Ryan's. It'll be weird, but would not be right not to be there." Carli replied, and looked at him. "Will you be there at all?"

"I always am, Carli." Travis assured her, and she felt sadness sweep over her. She covered it by going into her room and putting her clothes away, and threw her other stuff on the bed. She started the shower and closed the bathroom door, pulling off her clothes and stepping under the steam and the hot water. She cleaned away the day, and washed the lust and desire of he day off of her skin. Carli got out and brushed her hair and pulled on a long tee and some leggings and went to get her noodles from the fridge. She heated them up and brought the plate to the couch with a glass of wine, and Travis smiled at her.

"So good. Thanks a lot." Carli told him, and he slid a hand through her damp hair slowly as he looked at her. Their eyes locked and she slid her hand up to meet his. "Travis."

"I am glad you're here for me." Travis told her, and she intertwined her fingers through his.

"I feel the same." Carli told him, and she sipped her wine nervously. He leaned in to kiss her softly, and she took a slow breath as he pulled away slightly. He kissed her again, his lips urging hers to part after awhile, and she turned her head. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Trav."

"You haven't thought about it? Not even after what happened between us on the tour?"

"Of course. I just worry about us being such good friends for a long time and ruining it by having sex." Carli told him, and he winced.

"It would not be so clinical, Carli. It would be evolving." Travis told her, and she looked down at the floor. "Is there something else?"

"I…..I saw Eric today." Carli admitted, talking to her best friend Travis and not the one that wanted to be with her.

"I guess I would be sloppy seconds then tonight." Travis said, and she stared at him with flashing eyes. "Why do you keep going to what makes you unhappy? Is it because of what happened this year or something?"

"I'm not sure." Carli admitted, and he pulled his hand away from her as she dropped hers.

"Just Eric or Pam as well?"

"Not Pam." Carli said, a little too quickly.

"Will you be okay to leave in three days? I don't want you wallowing through the studio time and wrecking it." Travis told her, and she winced. "We have a job to do."

"Ouch." Carli said, sipping her wine again. She sat quietly as she took slow bites of her food, and Travis turned on a favorite movie on the TV. They watched it together, and she watched him go to the guest room and close the door much later. She got up and cleaned her plate and glass and stared out of the kitchen window for a long moment. Carli picked up her phone and dialed slowly, speaking softly as Eric answered. She went into her room and changed into some jeans and a heavy sweater, and pulled on a jacket before leaving the apartment. She hurried through the rain to his apartment and into the elevator, knocking sharply on the door as she arrived. He was only dressed in lounge pants, and she eyed him hungrily as she slid her arms up his chest.

"It's not tomorrow." Eric told her, and she leaned in to bite his nipple. He slid his hand into her wavy hair and held her there, and she sucked him into her mouth.

"I had some wine and I started thinking about you." Carli told him, her body tightening deep inside. "I started getting turned on and all warm and fuzzy inside."

"I can find a way to do something about that." Eric said, turning her to the wall and looking down at her. He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her, and she slid her hands around his waist. It was easy to slip her fingers under his clothing and she heard him hiss as she slid them down the smooth skin of his ass and pull away. Eric pushed her away and slid her jacket off, dropping it to the floor. His eyes were wide and a deep blue, and she pulled her sweater off eagerly to reveal the black and pink lace bra that she had chosen for the night. Eric pushed her back against the wall and unbuttoned her jeans, yanking them down as she kicked them off. He slid his hands down to pull her up to him and she slid her arms around his neck, kissing him again deeply. "I love you, Carli." Eric whispered, and she answered him by sliding her tongue into his mouth to meet his as he pressed against her hard. They ended up in the bedroom, and he threw her onto the bed and ripped off the underwear that matched the bra and dove between her legs. She moaned as his tongue explored her, and his hands parted her legs to slide it inside of her. She rode his long tongue, crying out as the pressure inside of her threatened to release. She moaned his name as she came against his tongue and heard him digging in the drawer next to her. She relaxed on the mattress as she felt a cool tip against her throbbing clit, and the low hum of a vibrator. She arched her back and moaned, opening her eyes to see his eyes trained on what he was doing.

"You don't want me?" Carli asked, biting her lip as the sensation hit her.

"Oh, I do. Just not this way. I want to watch your face as I tease you the way I used to like watching." Eric told her, and she pulled her legs up and spread them since he was busy. She knew that he meant he wanted to fuck her in the ass, and she cried out as he increased the speed. She also knew what he was referring to as she moaned from the tip moving up and down her wet center.

"You mean when Pam used this on me?" Carli asked, and bucked as she felt another orgasm.

"I liked that the best, watching your face. Knowing someone else was making you cum so hard was very much a turn on for me." Eric told her, and she felt him hold it to her clit and turn it up further as he turned it up even more. She fought screaming and threw her head back as she bit her lip hard. She felt her legs trembling as she came hard and long, and he took that chance to slide it inside of her as he turned it down again. He fucked her slowly, but deeply, and she moaned softly. He told her to beg for it harder, and soon she was pleading with him. He turned up the speed and slid it right against her sweet spot as she moved her hips with his faster rhythm. He knew she was close again when he turned it all the way up and plunged it hard and fast inside of her as she cried out his name. She could not move afterwards, and he rolled her to her stomach slowly as she sighed. She felt his hands sliding over her ass, placing pillows under her so she was at a better level. They slid between her cheeks and over her opening, sliding down into her wetness to penetrate her slowly as she moaned. He deepened each thrust until she begged him to take her, and she heard him get the lube and then grip her hips. He guided himself inside and she felt just what their previous act had done for him. He took her slow at first, then harder and deeper as she cried out with the pressure. She loved the way he growled as he came hard, and she felt him twitching inside of her as he did. Eric pulled out slowly and dropped next to her as they both took deep breaths. "I love your tight ass." Eric told her, and she looked at him. "I love your tight pussy as well."

"Good." Carli said, sliding her hand over to stroke his half erect cock with her fingers slowly. "You're not so bad yourself."

"I gathered as much when you showed up at my doorstep tonight." Eric said, and she giggled softly. "I was told that you saw Pam this afternoon."

"Yeah. She helped me pick my outfit for Thanksgiving." Carli replied, and played with his tip.

"She wants to see you. I could see it in her eyes, but you don't want to see her?" Eric asked, and she met his gaze.

"I am here with you, and that is what I want." Carli said, and he slid his finger over her lips.

"Yet you'll walk away so easily."

"You knew what I was when we met. You knew my life was busy." Carli reminded him again, and he gazed at her. He sat up and walked out of the room, and she closed her eyes wearily. She felt him next to her again, and he pulled her over him to kiss her. He unhooked her bra and pulled it off and stroked her back gently as they kissed slowly. He slid his hands through her hair and she ended up resting her head on his chest as she fought falling asleep. She memorized the feel of his skin against hers, tucking it away in her mind as she bit her lip. She wondered if he was doing the same as he stroked her skin over and over, kissing her hair from time to time.

"Stay with me tonight." Eric told her softly, and she opened her eyes.

"I have the radio show tomorrow. It was kind of sudden." Carli said, and heard him sigh. "I have to get up at six and you shouldn't have to wake up as well."

"I don't mind." Eric told her, and she rested her chin on his chest and looked at him.

"Call me later in the day." Carli suggested, and he nodded slowly. She left later, dressing slowly as she looked at him. He kissed her at the door and she called a cab from the elevator and headed home, finding the apartment still dark when she got there. Travis must have fallen asleep, and she snuck quietly into her room and cursed the fact she was getting three hours of sleep. Carli pulled on a big shirt and crawled under the covers, falling asleep quickly after her night. It seemed like five minutes later when her phone chimed, and she grabbed it to throw it against the door. Travis opened it then, and stared at her as she clenched her hand around it to stop.

"You okay to do this?" Travis asked, and she sighed. "Take a shower and we'll get a very big coffee on the way."

"Sure. OK." Carli murmured, and closed her eyes. "Then a very long nap afterwards after we eat." Travis headed to his bathroom and her into hers for showers, and she pulled on a pair of jeans and a big hoodie for the day. Carli brushed her hair and put on just enough make up to look alive, and met Travis in the living room. He was in jeans and a hoodie as well, and she ruffled his messy hair with one hand as she grinned at him. He gave her a dark look, and she stared at him as she remembered last night. "Sorry." Carli told him, stepping away and grabbing her purse. They left, stopped for coffee, and took a cab to the station. They seemed to be fine when they got there, and Carli breathed another silent sigh of relief.

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Review if you would! Was there enough smut for you?


	24. How You Love Me Now

I do now own any True Blood characters, just my own. Enjoy!

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Travis and Carli approached the studio, chatting as they laughed over some small incident that had happened on the way. The hosts saw them and stepped outside to greet them, hugging Carli and shaking hands with Travis as they expressed their regret over Ryan's death. Carli realized that she had not been there since then. She smiled and thanked them, and glanced at Travis as they asked it if was cool to talk about on the air, and is dark eyes locked on hers as they considered it. They agreed that it was fine and stepped inside, taking seats on the couch and setting their guitars next to them. The show came back on and they started talking about the upcoming album and her return to Chicago, and she felt Travis settle his arm behind her head as the conversation flowed. She glanced at him and kept talking, and then they slowly moved it to Ryan with wary eyes. Travis spoke about him slowly, and Carli felt every emotion his words conveyed as she took his hand behind her shoulder. Carli took her turn and held it together as she talked about her ex and close friend, feeling the strength from Travis as he squeezed her hand. They lightened the mood afterwards by singing some songs, throwing in Mr Grinch for the holidays. They had come up with it one night and had a good time with it, and she sang a song from the second album as well as the song that Ryan wrote for Travis. The two stayed for the whole show and ten went to eat with the guys, and quietly went home. Carli glanced at Travis as she closed the door, and he followed her as they collapsed on her bed to sleep. Travis pulled her close and kissed her hair, telling her she did good that day. She whispered it back, fighting sleep as she snuggled against him. They slept for a few hours, and Carli woke up dreaming of Eric with a small gasp. She moved away slowly from Travis, using the bathroom and glancing at the clock as she snuck out to the balcony with her phone. It was late afternoon and he might be done with work. His phone rang a few times before she heard Pam's voice on the other end, and she frowned. "Pam? Is Eric there?"

Pam giggled, and Carli knew right away that she was drunk. "He is a bit busy right now, Carli. Want to come over and keep me company?" Carli heard a female laugh in the background, and she bit her lip.

"Where are you?" Carli asked, her stomach beginning to hurt as she leaned against the railing and stared at the city in front of her.

"His place. We're having an employee appreciation party, or is it employer appreciation?" Pam giggled again, and Carli heard a distinct moan and Eric's name. "It's a bit hard to tell right now." Carli sucked in her breath and closed her eyes as she felt the hurt slide through her. "Come over and be my toy, Carli. I am in the mood for you."

"I don't think so." Carli whispered, ending the call and taking several deep breaths. Another threesome with her nowhere near being involved was happening, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. She knew that it was stupid to get back involved with him, but her had seemed sincere about caring about her. Carli shuddered and went back inside, dropping her phone back on the counter and heading back to her room. She snuggled back into Travis's arms and closed her eyes as her pulled her close. She cried slowly and very quietly, and he stroked her hair in his sleep as she pressed her face against his chest. She fell back asleep somehow and woke up with him stroking her cheeks as he looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"What is it? Did today get to you more than you thought it would?" Travis asked, and she shook her head.

"You can say I told you so now." Carli told him softly, and he lay next to her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry, Carli." Travis told her, and his phone rang next to them. He looked at her apologetically and she nodded at him to indicate that he should answer it. He did and talked for a few moments before hanging up and pulling her to him. "Bryan is playing tonight. Want to go out and forget about life for awhile? I'll take you to dinner."

"Sure." Carli replied, knowing that sitting home would only make things worse. One more night and they would be gone, and she could forget about everything. They got up, showered, and she turned up her Ipod as she got ready. Carli pulled on a mini skirt with purple sequins all over it, and tugged a thin black tank over her head with a light gray cardigan over that. Docks finished the outfit she did her make up in bright pinks and purples with a deep pink gloss over her lips. She entered the living room to see him wearing fitted jeans and a gray button up with docs, and she grinned at him. "You look nice." Carli told him, and he shrugged.

"You are very sparkly." Travis told her, walking over to her and stroking her face. "Feeling better?" She nodded slowly, and his eyes searched hers before he slid his arms around her and kissed her. She allowed the kiss to slowly deepen and they both jumped as her phone shrilled on the counter. "Dinner?" Travis asked, and she nodded at him as she walked to grab it. Eric had called and texted, and she shot quickly through the few apologies before hitting delete. She slid her phone into her tiny purse and headed towards the door as Travis looked at her curiously. "OK?"

"I'm fine. It's his loss, not mine." She didn't necessarily believe the words that she spoke as she stared forward, but she wanted to. Travis followed her, sliding a heavier jacket over her shoulders as he pulled the door closed. They went to Thai again for dinner, and she ate lightly as she watched the people outside. Travis looked curiously at her, and she finally met his eyes.

"What happened, Carli?" Travis asked, and she stared at him. "It is the only thing you have been so secretive about."

"So much has happened, but this time it was somebody else." Carli replied, and shook her head. Really it was two somebody else's, since she was not even there.

"How can he think about that? Look at you." Travis told her, and she smiled bitterly.

"Coming from someone that knows more about me than anyone else, that is a compliment." Carli told him, and a tear slid down her cheek. She glanced down and pulled herself together, and they quietly finished dinner and went to the large club. Fans recognized them immediately and they posed for pictures as they drank with them, and soon Carli was feeling quite buzzed. She danced to the band, spinning around wildly as she bounced around with the crowd. She was out there for the whole set when she finally headed to the bathroom, hearing her phone as she closed the door to the stall. Eric had texted again, and she felt her eyes blur with tears as she told him to leave her alone. He got back to her they went back and forth arguing until she found herself highly turned on by his emotions. He called her and she found her hands sliding between her legs as his voice slid through her veins, stroking herself just to relieve herself. He listened as she breathed heavily through it, trying to keep quiet, and told her to come over. "I can't." Carli told him, wanting to despite her words. "I have been hurt too much in this. I want to go home and forget about it all." Eric argued back, and she told him to go and fuck his employee again as she ended the call. Carli looked at the mess on her fingers as she bit her lip, and cleaned herself up before going to wash her hands and fix her make up. She thanked the darkness out front and wiped at her eyes as another girl walked in.

"Carli?" Carli glanced at her, realizing that she did not know her, and smiled as she touched up her gloss.

"Hi. How are you?" Carli asked, and the girl smiled and hugged her. Carli had hugged countless fans and knew the touch of one interested in her now all too well. It had not done anything for her before that, but the lingering embrace triggered the hormones that she had just struggled so much with. She pulled away and looked into the girl's green eyes, and she smiled at Carli.

"You're so pretty in person." The girl told her, smiling as she told Carli that her name was Jessica. They got to talking and ended up getting drinks and sitting on one of the couches in the darker room. Carli didn't turn away her subtle advances and was soon kissing her deeply, not caring where she was. Jessica's hand unbuttoned her sweater and slid up to her nipples that were hard under the tank, and Carli moaned against her mouth as she pinched them gently. She moved them to her bare skin down the deep scoop neck and Carli sucked her tongue deep inside of her mouth. "I didn't know that you were bi." Jessica whispered to her, and Carli stared at her.

"I recently discovered that fact." Carli explained, and welcomed Jessica's hands between her legs, slipping into her wet center to make her cum again as she moaned softly against her lips. The girls looked around afterwards, glad the room was empty, and Jessica sucked gently on her fingers as she stared at Carli. She asked her to come home with her so they could do more together, and Carli looked up as she heard Travis. Jessica had her gloss smeared on her face and he glanced between the girls before settling on his best friend. She stood up, glancing back at Jessica before Travis led her outside and stared at her.

"What was that?" Travis asked her in a low voice, and she sighed. She buttoned her sweater up one button and ran her hands through her hair.

"I messed around with her." Carli told him, and his eyes deepened. "Do you like that, Travis. Does it turn you on?" She was beyond her normal level of intoxication, and he glanced around before pulling her inside of the club to the darkness. The song the DJ was playing was relatively slow and he pulled her to him for a dance, and she slid her arms around his neck as she began to crave male attention.

"Carli….you are so different than the girl I met a few years ago." Travis told her, and she met his gaze.

"Is that bad or good?" Carli asked, and he seemed to consider that question.

"Different." Travis replied, and she nodded. They finished the dance and the night, and took a cab home as she leaned drunkenly against him. He helped her upstairs, and watched as she slid off her cardigan and lay back on the couch. Travis walked into the kitchen and got them some waters, and sat down on the couch and pulled her legs over him. He looked down at her as she looked up at him, and she seemed to search his face.

"Do you hate me, Travis?" Carli asked, and he looked down her legs as her skirt slid up just a little more to reveal her lower thigh.

"I don't. I have never not hated anyone so much before." Travis replied, and she frowned.

"What does that mean?" Carli asked, and he smiled slowly.

"You were just Carli for a long time to me, and then you were my best friend's girl after that. I loved you like a sister, but we joined as a band and that was it." Travis spoke slowly, and she moved to a sitting position next to him. He looked at her breasts pressing through the tank top, and sighed. "Ryan left us, and I didn't want to see anybody until I woke up with you. I realized that I need you, Carli. I never wanted to not have you there in my arms. I never didn't want your comfort anymore."

"And now?" Carli asked, and leaned closer to him.

"I am dealing with this new thing of wanting you." Travis told her, and she brushed his lips with hers. "I was really turned on tonight when I realized what had happened, Carli. I can't help wondering now if you let her touch you as well, and if you are still wet from it." He kissed her, and she slid onto his lap easily. Their kiss deepened immediately, and she gasped for air as their tongues battled for dominance.

"Travis…..you're so…." Carli told him, and he lowered his lips to her neck as she moaned.

"You didn't get this vibe that night in the bus?" Travis asked, and she whimpered as he nibbled on her neck.

"We're all alone now." Carli murmured, and he slid is hands to the hem of her shirt. "Do you want this?" Carli asked, and met is heavy gaze. He lifted her shirt rapidly and she pulled herself up as he slid his lips over her hard nipples and sucked them into her mouth.

"Are you wet?" Travis asked her, before gently biting down.

"I came on her fingers and she sucked it off of them afterwards." Carli said, and he moaned against her skin. He ravaged her nipples after that and she moaned and cried out through it, kissing him deeply for a long time afterwards. She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and bit gently, and he slid his hands down to grip her ass. They stumbled down the hall to her room, and he pushed her down and slid her skirt down. She looked at him as slid off his shirt and jeans, and moved between her legs to part them. He slid his fingers over her calf to her thigh and she bit her lip as he slid them over her wet underwear.

"I hope some of this is for me." Travis told her, and she moaned as he slid them as she pulled her legs up to straighten them. She slid them back around him and he touched her as he met her gaze. "Do you with this was the girl from the club?"

"No, Trav." She sucked in her breath as he slid his fingers into her folds to stroke her sensitive clit, and he noticed it and stroked her harder.

"Do you wish it was him?" Travis asked, but she came before she could answer. He slid is fingers inside of her to feel it, and she glanced up to see his eyes widen. She lifted her hips to push against him, and soon she felt him move between her legs and stroke her with his tongue. "Fuck, you taste good." Travis told her, and she smiled as he focused on her clit and brought her again. She was feeding off of her time alone in the bathroom, off of the time with Jessica, off of the emotions of the day, and largely the way it felt when he licked her so hard and eagerly. He was so willing to please her, and she met his gaze as he sat up and looked at her.

"Take those off." Carli told him, staring at the bulge in his boxers with hungry eyes. He did, and she moved up and crawled over to him as she stared at his large cock. She licked it with her tongue as he hissed and slowly slid her mouth over it as he slid his hands into her hair. She slid up and down him, and he moaned as she sucked and teased with her tongue and lips.

"I don't want to finish this way, Carli. I want to be inside of you." Travis moaned, and she slowly gave him control as he pushed forward between her lips.

"Fuck my mouth, Travis." Carli whispered, and he pumped forward harder. "Cum for me."

Travis cried out as she felt him twitch inside of her, and she swallowed everything he shot inside of her throat. "I have never had that done so well." Travis told her, and she looked up at him. She cleaned him off with her mouth and crawled over him, pressing close to him as he stroked her sweaty back. "Wait for awhile until I am ready again. I want to feel you." He turned her over to kiss the skin of her neck, down to her nipples again, and down her stomach as she moaned and whimpered. Travis ran to his room for a moment and returned as he slid a condom over his hard cock, and she watched him as he slid between her legs and inside of her. They made love clumsily for a time, then hard and fast as she moaned louder and louder. They both came, one after the other, and he fell next to her spent and breathing heavily. They passed out together and woke up to the alarm waking them up for their early afternoon flight. Carli looked at him and she rolled onto her stomach, and he met her eyes. "I hope you do not regret last night."

"I hope it does not ruin us." Carli said, and he leaned over to press his lips gently against hers. He got up to go and make them breakfast, and she opened her suitcase to put in the clothes she had piled onto her dresser after pulling on a short dress. She had planned on a lot of clothes for this trip, and she set aside the outfit for the plane. Travis called her, and she went out to see bacon, eggs, and toast on plates at the table with coffee set in front of them. She smiled and sat down, looking at him across the table as her eyes wandered down his shoulders and chest. He looked lean and smaller in clothes, but he was more muscular than she would have thought. He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled. "You look good."

"You do too, though you're too clothed for me." Travis told her, and she almost choked on her sip of coffee. They ate and talked about the trip and she went to take a shower, turning her head as he came in behind her. He slid his hands over her sides, wet with the shower, and over her nipples as she moaned. They ended up leaving the shower as he pushed her onto her knees to take her again, then finishing cleaning themselves afterwards. She brushed her hair and put on a hint of make up, and they brought their bags to the door as she looked at him. It was not the way she had intended on beginning her life back in Chicago, but she smiled as he took her hand in the car they had called to take them to the airport. Her phone beeped as they boarded the plane and she glanced at it to see Eric texting her that he would miss her. She deleted it and glanced at Travis as he slid is hand into her hair, and slid her phone back into her purse after shutting it off. Memories of Eric flooded her mind as she stared out of the window leaving New York, and she sighed softly.


	25. This Myth With You

I do not own Pam and Eric, but I do own my own creations. Thanks for reading!

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Travis woke up Carli with a gentle kiss, and she opened her eyes with a start. She had been dreaming of Eric, and he had been kissing her as he pressed her against his wall in the dream, and she stared at Travis. "We're landing."

"Oh. Thanks for getting me up." Carli told him, and he smiled at her before he started to get his stuff together. She had slept the entire time for the most part, so she just sat there and woke up slowly until it was time to go into the airport. They walked out together, and Travis was talking about their first week there softly as they were recognized by a few fans. They greeted them and posed together and with the fans, and Carli was all too aware of how close her pulled her to him. She knew that there would be speculation amongst fans very soon, and she looked at him to see that he wanted that a little. He wanted them to be something. Travis hugged the last fan and they walked to the front to get their luggage as he stroked her lower back gently. He squeezed her hand as they approached Jimmy, who was leaning against a wall waiting for them with a grin on his face. The couple greeted him with a hug on her part and a handshake on his part, and Travis told her that he would get their luggage. She protested, knowing how much there was, but Jimmy took her wrist to hold her by him for a moment as Travis rushed off.

"I can see that my band mates are clearly fucking each other now." Jimmy said in a soft voice, and she let out a long sigh. "Should I be worried about that development?"

"I hope not?" Carli replied, and glanced at him. "It just sort of happened, Jimmy. I am still a little surprised."

"I'm not at all. I could see him getting closer to you after Ryan died and he sunk so low. You were all he wanted and needed, and that was why he went back with you. The feelings were there, but he was not aware of them at first. Now he looks really happy and you need to be as well. What happened with Eric?" Jimmy asked her, and pain tore through her body.

"It ended." Carli replied briefly, and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Like it would have worked out anyway, Jimmy. I travel a lot, and this particular time was for a month at least."

"I hear that. It is hard." Jimmy said slowly, and glanced up to see Travis struggling with their bags. "Let's go help your new boyfriend." Carli shot a quick glare his direction before following him, and the three got the bags to Jimmy's car and climbed inside. "Staying with us, Car?" Jimmy asked her, looking over at her as they pulled onto the highway. Carli felt Travis's gaze on the back of her head, and she looked back to see his hopeful eyes.

"Sure. I think I am staying at Ryan's family's the night before Thanksgiving, but I have no plans before that. I am doing the pies with the girls like I always did." Carli said, and frowned. "It'll be weird. He was always coming in and out of the room to taste stuff and say hi."

The guys were quiet, and she shook her head. "Cool then. We can meet up soon and see what we have put together for the album." Jimmy moved on, and Travis and Carli agreed. They drove to the house talking about lighter things, and walked in to Lisa finishing up a lunch of grilled panini's and salad. Carli and Travis hugged her, and she smiled happily at them. Travis took their bags to his room and piled them in a corner, and walked out to sit beside her to eat. He glanced at her with a smile, and took a bite of the sandwich, and Carli nibbled on a forkful of salad. Lisa glanced at them, and then at Jimmy. He smiled at her, and she looked back at Carli with a glint in her eye. The friends relaxed until that night when they all went to see a friend's band perform, and met up with several friends. Carli was hugging people and mingling for awhile, and she happened to have several drinks in that time. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and grabbed it as she smiled at another friend, and her smile turned into a frown when she saw that it was a text from Eric.

_Already found yourself a new woman, lover? Pam is so jealous right now._

Carli excused herself and went outside to text him back, angry and curious.

_What are you talking about, Eric?_

Her body swayed a little from the drinks, and she blinked. He sent back a link and se clicked on it, glancing around to see if anyone was around. They weren't. It was a blog that referred to the night before at the club with Jessica, and she took a deep breath. The bitch had talked about it, but then again, Carli had eagerly spread her legs for her. She sighed and wondered what to say back to him, and even to the fans. Carli hoped that it would not ruin the band or the image, or her life.

_Thanks for that info, Eric._

_Did she make you cum?_

_Go fuck yourself_

Carli heard Travis call her name, and she slowly shoved her phone into her pocket. It vibrated again, but she ignored it as he stroked her cheek. "Everything OK?"

"Ummmm, sort of. I was just sent a link and that girl in the club last night blabbed." Carli told him in a low voice, and he stared at her. "I know I put myself in that position, but now I don't know what to do. Either everyone will think I am a total whore or they'll be cool with it and I will get hit on by women all of the time now. I hate both options really."

"You need to watch what you do, Car. Everything is public." Travis told her, and leaned down to kiss her.

"So is this." Carli whispered, and he looked at her.

"I don't mind that gossip." His lips covered hers, and she pressed against him slowly as the kiss warmed her. "Let's go in and enjoy the music, Car." He pulled her by the hand and she stood by the stage with him as they listened to the hardcore punk music, and she tired to get into it. Her phone kept going and she pulled it out and cleared her texts quickly when he was in the middle of a head bang. She drank a few more drinks through the night, and was met with worried glances by Lisa and Jimmy. Carli didn't typically drink. The four headed out to eat afterwards and Carli went to use the bathroom and she took out her phone again.

_I miss you lover. I want to make you cum every way that I know how. I want to taste you and fuck you so hard, and you're not here to do any of that to._

_You knew I was leaving, Eric. You fucked someone else before I was even on the plane._

_Just a drunken impulse, lover. I didn't mean anything by it, and I would think you would get that sort of impulse. I can tell you are drunk right now by your texts. Who is the lucky girl tonight, or is it a guy?_

_You're not even sorry, Eric. Fuck you._

"Carli? Are you alright?" Lisa asked, and Carli's head spun as she looked up at the stall door quickly.

"Yeah, fine. Phone distraction." Carli said, standing up and pulling up her jeans as she shoved the phone back into the pocket. She walked out and fixed her hair in the mirror, and glanced at Lisa.

"So Travis huh? He looks so sweet with you, and happy. He was not that way for awhile." Lisa mused, and Carli smiled a forced smile. "What happened with Eric back in New York?"

"Things…got really out of hand and we broke up before I left." Carli replied slowly, and remembered their talk in her kitchen.

"I could see that happening. You guys were so hot and so into each other, but it was on a whole different level that you and Travis. He will be more calming." Lisa told her, and Carli looked at her curiously. "Though I hope there is some hot there as well." Carli blushed and Lisa giggled. "It'll be interesting in the house now."

"Ugh." Carli said out loud, dreading it as her underwear dampened at the thought of Eric doing what he texted. She shook her head and went back to the table, and scooted close to Travis as she moved into the booth. He glanced at her and slid a hand over her lower thigh under the table, and they all headed home soon. Carli went into the room to use the bathroom again, and came out to see Travis on the bed with his eyes closed. She shut her phone off for the night, ignoring the fact that Eric had texted her back, and pulled off her jeans after making sure the door was closed. She slid her shirt off as well, and Travis opened one eye slowly. "I hope you don't mind."

"Never." Travis replied, watching as she came to the bed and relaxed against the pillows. Carli sighed and he rolled over to stroke her stomach gently as he looked at her. She slid his hand between her legs and he stroked the wet lace eagerly. "What has you so hot and bothered?"

"I want you to fuck me." Carli whispered, and he made is way under the cloth and stroked her clit as she leaned her head back further. She whimpered and he stroked her harder and faster, and then slid a few fingers inside of her deeply as she sucked in her breath.

"You're so tight and wet." Travis told her, and she smiled as he slid his curled fingers over her sweet spot. She fought the urge to cry out as he stroked it again and again, and buckled against his hand as she came, pressing closer to him and moaning softly. "I need to cum so bad now. Watching you makes me crazy."

"In my cunt or in my mouth?" Carli whispered, and he stared at her.

"Such a dirty little mouth you have." Travis said, surprise in his voice. "I never would have guessed."

"He didn't kiss and tell?" Carli giggled, and Travis slid his hands over her hard nipples. "Mmmmm, hurt me. Make it hurt, baby." Travis pinched them between his thumb and fingers and she nearly lurched off of the bed.

"I knew he was always eager to get home to you. I knew that he was fucking you after the break up, and that he liked that." Travis said, and her face took on a frown. "I knows that I do." He slid her underwear down and she felt him between her legs, drinking her juices eagerly as she writhed against him. He was soon inside of her, and he thrust deeply as she fought the urge again to cry out. "I love fucking you, Carli."

"Harder." Carli begged, and he moaned as he buried his cock deeper inside of her. She whimpered as she moved with him, and he stared at her face. They came one after the other and he kissed her as she breathed deeply. She slid her arms around his neck and he kissed her harder, and then smiled.

"I wanted to do that before the sex. You were very eager tonight, Carli." Travis said, and she snuggled against him as she relaxed. "Are you happy with this?"

"I am here, aren't I?" Carli asked him, and he nodded at her as she peeked at him.

"I am glad that you are." Travis nuzzled her with his lips again. "Take this how you want, but I love you."

"I know, Travis." Carli said, and he pulled her close. "I love you too, but I wonder if we mean it in the same way."

"Go to sleep, gorgeous." Travis said softly, and slid his hand tighter around her waist.

Carli woke up first and smiled as she realized they were meeting with the band. She frowned when her head pounded the second that she sat up, and she pressed her hand to it. "Stop fucking drinking." carli murmured to herself, and glanced over at a naked Travis. She stared and remembered the night before, and her mind flashed back over the texts and the way she had argued with Eric with her words. She remembered Travis fucking her and easing the pressure that the simple texts had caused. She missed Eric, and she felt stupid thinking that. He had fucked another girl and probably Pam again, but here she was with her best friend. Carli got up and pulled on some clothes, going to the kitchen for some coffee. Lisa stumbled in, and they smiled ruefully at each other. They ended up walking to the corner store for some Gatorade and soon Carli found herself at a favorite deli of the boys eating and discussing the album. They went to a house afterwards to jam and work out the songs, and did that every day thereafter. Carli let Travis fall for her as the week moved on, and she found comfort in his touch and is sweet way with her. It was soon Thanksgiving and she was packed to go to Ryan's parents for the night, and Travis dropped her off with a long kiss before going to his own parent's home. She knocked on the door and Ryan's sister Mari opened it with a huge smile and hugged Carli tightly. She was ushered inside and got her bag to her room, taking out her outfit for the next day and hanging it up. She stared at the sweater, remembering Pam's words that day as she shook her head. She started to wonder what they were doing, but she heard Mari calling them down to eat the pizza they had ordered, and she sighed and headed downstairs. They sat around and ate and watched a movie and then headed to the kitchen after changing into pajamas.

The girls made apple, pumpkin, and pecan pies as they all talked, and sipped wine. Carli could not help but to expect Ryan to pop is head in, and she glanced at Elizabeth and saw the sadness etched in her face as well. She looked down before the woman caught her gaze and fell back into the conversation until they all went to bed late that night. She tossed and turned and heard her phone as she frowned. It was Travis texting her good night and she replied with the same. She stared at the phone and then decided to send another text.

_I hope you have a good holiday, Eric._

_It would be all the better if we were making love right now and celebrating together tomorrow._

_Surely you are doing something_

_Are you at Ryan's?_

_Yeah. We just finished pies and it was….strange._

_I miss you, Carli. I love you._

_You do? Then why did you sleep with her?_

_I knew that you were leaving me soon. I was trying to forget that. I know that you are trying to forget me now as well with Travis. I hope that he is fucking you properly and that you do not call out my name on accident._

_You're an asshole_

_But you are still in love with me. Are you horny like I am, Carli?_

That text led to a call where they both helped each other through a heated session of masturbation, and she came as she heard his husky groan. She imagined the cum all over her body as she sighed, and her body twitched with her hard orgasm. He told her that he loved her, and she admitted that she loved him as well. They hung up sadly, and she finally drifted off to sleep. She got up the next day a bit slowly, and took a long shower and dressed in her clothes. Carli brushed her hair back and slid a deep gray hair band into it, and did her make up in a simple liner and deep lipstick. She slid her feet into her heels and went down to help with the massive turkey and the other foods, and family and friends drifted in and out. She finally had a chance after a huge plate of food to find some time to herself, stepping outside to sip her wine and look across the snowy yard. She remembered years past when she and Ryan would build snowmen and play in that same yard. They had so much fun, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. She blinked and breathed in the cold air, and jumped as she felt hands slide over her hips. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Trav. Are you here early?" Carli asked, and he pulled her against him.

"We ate early and I love Mom's food." Travis told her, and she smiled. "You okay?"

"Just remembering stuff. " Carli replied, and he kissed her hair.

"I don't think either of us can help that." Travis said softly, and she stared at the snow. "Let's go in and warm up, Car." They went in holding hands, and she saw Elizabeth smiling at her. They each had some pie and coffee and she caught up some more with his family about the band. The blog about her moment with Jessica has been under the radar, and there was not a lot of reaction to it somehow. Eric had been digging deep when he found it. The band knew, and she had been honest with them about her recent bisexuality, but since she was with Travis it seemed like they were not concerned. Carli felt lucky in a way, but also that she was living a lie of sorts. She went home with Travis that night, and they had noisy and primal sex all over the house as she was finally allowed to scream as she came. Carli came for Travis inside of her, for Ryan because he was no longer there, and for Eric who was missing her back in New York. She fucked Travis the way she would have Eric by that Christmas tree he mentioned to her, and Travis ate it up. She thanked Lisa and Jimmy silently for going out of town as she collapsed onto the bed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. They fell asleep pressed together and she felt herself drifting off to sleep easily after their session. Carli felt him pull her close to him and whisper that he loved her, and she nestled her face against his bare chest.


	26. Pull

I don't own any True Blood characters.

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The band got together daily after the holiday to line up their album songs, and then they were busy after that working on the recording. They seemed to be up early every day and working later every night, and Travis and Carli would fall into bed exhausted. They all were best friends, but when it came to the perfect album, they didn't always agree. There were often heated arguments and emotional break downs on Carli's part, since she always tended to get too caught up in her music as it was. Travis was often the one who calmed her down there or later at night, where they would usually end up making love to distract each other from it. She knew that he was falling in love with her, if he was not already there, and she felt guilty when she would continue to act like she was as well. It seemed right for the band at that time, and she was in Chicago where she could focus on her life there.

She still kept in contact with Eric, when she could without being caught. It was not part of the lie she was living there. She would text him on the rare time she was out and about on her own, or when Travis was asleep before she was. She called him when she had more time and she was alone, so worked up in lust that just his voice could make her have an orgasm. She craved him. She wanted him. He threatened to come to Chicago to see her, and keep her locked up in his hotel room so they could fuck over and over. Carli always told him no. She knew that Travis loved her and that he would be hurt sometime, and she wanted to prolong that as long as she could hold it together. She was a little shocked when a friend asked for her vocals on a song back in New York, and also learned that Travis would be staying and helping out someone there with some stuff. She agreed, but she knew that she would be far too near temptation to not give in.

Travis took her to dinner the night before she left, and they dressed up for it. It was a special date. He expressed his sadness at her going without him for the week and she assured him they would talk when they were not busy. Carli ate dinner and smiled through it, holding his hand tightly as they walked to the car. He pulled her to him for a long hug, kissing her deeply by the car as she teetered on her heels. "I love you, Carli." Travis told her softly, and she smiled and kissed him softly. "I really mean that I am in love with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I love you, Trav." Carli told him, and he stared at her with confused eyes. "I do. You're my best friend." Those words hurt her the most. Losing him as a boyfriend was not as tragic as losing him as her best friend. Carli knew that she probably never should have crossed that line with him now. They went home and she unzipped her bright pink dress slowly and slipped it off as he stepped up behind her. He slid his hands over her bare back and around to her nipples, kissing her neck. She moaned and he pinched her slowly as he hurt her more. She reached behind her and unbuttoned his pants, letting them fall as he grabbed his cock and stroked it with her hand. He was hard and ready, and soon she was on the bed as he crawled between her legs and entered her. They were alone that night, and he made it count as he took her hard and deep and made her cry out with it. Travis looked down at her and pulled her feet over his shoulders , entering her deeper as she grunted.

"I wish I could come. I miss the apartment, and being alone." Travis told her softly, as they both recovered. "I miss the Thai place."

"I will be there for you every night, no doubt." Carli told him, and sighed.

"I was thinking that maybe we could find a place together when you come back, Just us. We could keep the New York place too, but I think we both like it here." Travis said, and her heart froze for a moment. "I want to be just us."

"We'll see what we can find when I get back." Carli told him, and snuggled against him to hide her face. They fell asleep and she woke up to the alarm, groaning as he hit the snooze button. "Airport." Carli mumbled, and kept her eyes closed.

"Coffee." Travis mumbled back, and she laughed as he kissed her head. They managed to get up and get some breakfast before he kissed her goodbye at the airport. She hoisted her carry on over her shoulder and waved at a few fans as she walked to her gate, falling into her seat gratefully. She needed just another little nap. Carli's eyes drifted shut as they took off, and she opened them with the hard landing in New York. She blinked slowly and sat up, looking out of the window. She found it sadly ironic that she had left here feeling confused, and now she was landing the same way. Carli grabbed her bag and walked through the airport, only seeing a couple people that recognized her for a change. She was a little thankful as she sound a cab and was soon on her way to the apartment. The city was beautiful and called to her to come back, and she watched the buildings with wide eyes as they drove past them. She heard the radio show with an repeat that featured her and Travis playing low over the speakers, and she smiled sadly as they laughed together. They could always laugh together. She didn't feel like she was in love with him, and that they would be together through marriage and time, and that bothered her. Her was great and good to her.

"We're here." The driver said, and she blinked and looked at him. She handed him some cash and got out, walking into the building as she glanced around. The elevator was slow and empty as it took her to her floor, and she walked up to the door with a sigh. Last time she was here, she had run away from it with Travis's bleeding heart in her hands. Now she was back alone, and not sure of how to feel. Carli loved Chicago. She loved being around her family and friends, but New York had presented her with a feeling that was hard to ignore. She unlocked the door and walked inside, setting her bag down and turning on the heater to warm it up. New York was just as cold as Chicago right now, and she hugged her jacket close as she waited for the heat to penetrate the room. She was meeting her friend later that day, having told him that she wanted to get to her apartment first. Carli unpacked and hung up her stuff, and put the rest where it belonged. Travis's words echoed in her mind about living between Chicago and New York together, and she blinked as she ran a hand through her blond hair. The streaks were burgundy now, done by her favorite person back home before she came. She figured that a hot shower might do the trick, and she took her second of the day. She straightened her hair and did her make up a little bit, and ran down to her favorite coffee shop before she needed to head to her meeting. Carli walked in reading a text from Travis, and glanced up at the line. She got into it and looked around to see a few empty tables, and finally ordered her coffee. Carli took it to a table and continued to play with her phone, listening to he buzz of the customers and workers as background noise. She realized it was time to go, and stood up to leave slowly, glancing back the line. Her eyes lingered on a man with slicked back blond hair, and she thought to herself how much he looked like Eric from behind. He turned and met her eyes, and she realized it was Eric. He slowly left his place and walked to her, and her breath caught in her throat.

"You're home." His words were simple, but his eyes were not. There was longing in them, layers of regret, and a warmth that nearly burned her skin. He had known that she was returning, but had not wanted to pressure her into seeing him right off of the plane.

"Got here a few hours ago." Carli replied, and looked away from his mesmerizing eyes. "I have a meeting now."

"Dinner later?" Eric asked, and she bit her lip as she looked at him. "I would like to talk."

"I will call you." Carli told him, remembering how much that simple act had hurt her at one time. She smiled briefly and turned to leave, feeling a warmth spreading through her body that she had missed. The throbbing between her legs would be inconvenient, as well as the moisture pooling into her underwear, but it reminded her of how he had made her feel. She met her friend and went over the song, and they were ready for studio time the next day. She headed back out onto the street and realized it was dark, and how late their conversation had gone. Carli heard her phone and she answered it to talk to Travis for awhile, walking back towards her apartment. She teased him that she was eating Thai for dinner, and he laughed and told her that he loved her. She said it back, knowing who she was calling next. Carli hung up and her stomach growled, and she sighed. She made the next call, and was soon carrying a bag of food down the street to Eric's apartment. Privacy was everything. She entered the building and hurried to his door, and he opened it with a smile.

Memories struck Carli as she walked inside, and she took a ragged breath. The times with him and Pam flooded her mind, and the way that she had felt made her head hurt. The sounds she had heard over the phone filled her mind next, and she gasped. Where had they been? She took a look around as he took her gently by the shoulders. "It's OK, Carli."

"I just remember so much. I'm sorry." Carli apologized, and he tilted her chin to look at him. His eyes were sad as he looked at her, and he stroked her cheek with one finger.

"I hurt you that badly. I had hoped I didn't, but I suspected." Eric murmured, and she stared at him. "I love you so much, and you are hurting because of me."

"I'll survive, Eric." Carli said, and he took the bag from her and set it down on the counter as he stared at her. He slid one arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him, and their eyes both showed their desire as they locked gazes.

"Are you very hungry?" Eric asked her, and she heard her stomach growl again.

"Starving." Carli replied, and he slid his hand into her hair gently. They kissed each other at the same time, and she felt the electricity shoot through her painfully at the contact. Lips parted to give way to tongues meeting hungrily, and she met his eagerness with her own. He broke the kiss, breathing deeply as she opened her eyes, and smiled.

"Let's eat something and try to talk." Eric told her, and she felt his lips brush hers again. He went into the kitchen for plates and silverware, and went back for glasses and wine as she brought the food to the table. Carli pulled off her jacket and set it on the couch, appreciating the fire for a moment as she tugged off her layers. She was down to her skinny jeans and a close fitting burgundy sweater, and he eyed her appreciatively as she walked over to him. "I enjoy watching you peel off your clothes down to this. I have missed watching that." Eric told her slowly, and she raised one eyebrow.

"Last time I did that, it was all of my clothes." Carli said, and he smiled.

"I remember well." Eric noted, pouring the wine as she sat down. They fixed their plates and she looked at him as she took her first bite, taking in the new hair. "Like it?"

"Yes, I do. It is different and not near as much fun I am sure, but it looks good." Carli replied, and he smiled.

"I lime yours as well. I always did though." Eric told her, and she laughed. "You're beautiful, Carli. I have missed you."

"I missed you. But you know that." Carli said, and sipped the wine again. She really just wanted to down it. She sighed and looked at her plate. "There was so much wrong with us already when I was here last. Why did you sleep with her…with them?"

"I told you. I was hating the fact you were leaving." Eric replied, and she gazed at him with cold eyes. "OK. You need to know everything then?" Carli nodded slowly, and he sipped his wine very slowly. "We were working with our new employee and ended up staying at the event and having some drinks. I don't typically do that, and this time was not at all a good idea. I knew you were leaving, so I drank more than I normally would have. I think it was Pam's idea to go to my place afterwards, and suddenly Nikki was in my lap and we were kissing. She made it very clear that she was a willing partner, and I thought I could forget my pain through her. I…well you know what happened. Pam had her turn as well, and I can at least say that it turned out well for her. They are living together and seem happy now. I only have regrets over it. I could have been making love with you and trying yet again to make you stay. I suppose you fucked him around then for the first time?"

"The following night." Carli said, and watched the pain cross his eyes.

"I could have prevented that. Now he is in love with you, isn't he?" Eric asked, and she nodded. "Are you?"

"I would not be here if I truly was. I love him and I know how fucking good for me he is, as well as how good he is to me. Travis is great." Carli said, and looked back at her plate as she took another bite. "But he isn't you, which is sad. He would never do the things you have done, or hurt me the way that you have. He will ever only love me."

"Carli." Eric said, his eyes a dark blue with the hurt displayed in them. "I do love you."

"Probably. I love you too. But we constantly fall back into a pattern." Carli told him, and shook her head. "Is it worth it?"

"I want it to be. I wish I could take so much back, but we cannot. It is done and over. I made a lot of mistakes, but meeting you threw me into something I had never felt. I have never been in love like I am with you." Eric took another drink, as well as a deep breath. "I became so out of control with you. I loved fucking you, and so did Pam. Why the fuck did we combine the two? I don't know."

"Is she in love now?"

"Something close to it." Eric replied, and Carli nodded with a smile.

"She deserves that. Pam is a good person, if not a bit unstable at times." Carli said, and he smiled.

"She is. I just wish I had never touched her and that we could be what we were." Eric said, and Carli looked at him. They finished their dinner quietly, and Carli carried her plate to the sink after taking the last sip of her wine. Eric followed, asking her if she wanted more, and she nodded after a moment. They took their glasses to the couch and she stared at the fire for a long moment, feeling him move closer to her to stroke her hair. She closed her eyes and shivered, and he slid his fingers down the back of her neck. "Cold?"

"Not exactly." Carli replied, and he pulled her against him. His scent overwhelmed her, and she inhaled deeply so she could memorize it. "It's you that makes me shiver."

"I can warm you." Eric assured her, and she felt his lips on hers again. She kissed him back as passionately as she had at the door, and found herself on her back on the couch soon. He slid between her legs easily, grinding his erection against her wetness as she moaned into the kiss. His hand slid under her shirt as the other wrapped in her hair, sliding over her bra very slowly as she whimpered. "Are your nipples hard for me? Is your body wet for me?" Eric asked, thrusting harder against her. His hand slipped under her bra and found his answer, and she cried out as he pinched her. He lifted himself enough to tug her shirt off, and ripped the bra from her body. She gasped as his lips met her skin, teasing and taunting her with his mouth and tongue. "I want to taste you.. I want to fuck you." Eric told her, and she felt him move his hands over the jeans where her thighs met. She whimpered as he brushed her against the denim, and he watched her face. "I want to take these off."

"We could still stop, Eric." Carli told him, desperately trying to hold onto her last bit of willpower and reason. "We don't have to regress."

Eric's lips were back on her nipple again, drawing it into his mouth and against his lips. "Don't we?" She arched her back and offered him more of herself, and he bit gently. "I love your nipples. This is the most beautiful part about your body."

"Too small." Carli argued, and he chuckled.

"Not too small. Perfect actually." Eric dismissed her words, and pinched her other nipple. He sucked hard on the other one, and she could not argue as she felt his hands unbuttoning her jeans. "You know what my other favorite part is?

"Hmmmmm?" Carli asked, feeling herself becoming very naked. He stroked her as she moaned loudly, and spread her legs apart further, and kissed down her stomach.

"This. Your wet pussy. I love that as well." His fingers moved eagerly and she found herself crying out with the pressure as she felt herself begin to orgasm. "Cum for me. I want to taste it." She did and loudly, and he watched her as she shook with it. He moved between her legs as she recovered, and she felt his tongue across her sensitive clit. He licked and sucked, and bit down gently as she came that way. He slid his tongue inside of her, and she moaned weakly as she lay still on the couch. Carli felt like she could not move and she closed her eyes as she felt her body explode again. "Miss me, Carli?"

"You know I did." Carli said, and turned her head. "Did you make her cum like that?"

"Are we going to go there?" Eric asked, and she stared at the wall. "Does he make you cum like that? Does he fuck you the way you like it?"

"He does just fine. He likes what you have made me." Carli replied, and she met his gaze.

"What have I made you? I merely opened up a part of you." Eric assured her, lifting his shirt off as she watched with hungry eyes. "I made you realize how open you really are. I was not there forcing you to let a girl fuck you in a club, though I find it very hot." Eric stood and removed his jeans, bare underneath, and so hard. "I'll bet he likes that too. I'll bet it gets him hard for you."

"Of course." Carli said, and Eric stared into her eyes.

"Come to my room." Eric said, and she stared at him. "I want you in my bed, Carli. I want my cock in your mouth." He held out his hand and she stood up with him, and walked to his room with heavy legs. This was really happening, and she groaned as she felt herself pushed back onto the pillows as he mounted her and slid himself into her mouth.

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	27. Jumping In with an Author's Note

I am taking a poll…does anyone TRULY enjoy this story and have any desire to see it continue and at some point, end? I am working on two others and it is on the back burner, though I have some ideas for it lurking about. Let me know and help me make a decision, if you would! Thanks


	28. Crumble and Fall

I do not own any True Blood characters. Are we cool with that? I am almost certain that this is the last chapter of this story, since I know how I want it to end and I am ready to lay it to rest. So here you go…Eric and Carli.

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Eric only stayed in her mouth for a few deep thrusts before he slid down her body and rested between her legs. His blue eyes captured hers and she almost spoke to stop what was about to happen, but her words froze in her throat. She wanted this man, loved this man no matter what had happened, and she could not convince herself to stop him as he entered her. She moaned and slid her legs up so that her feet were near his shoulders, raising her hips to meet him as he thrust in earnest. He grunted as she moaned and whimpered, memorizing him as she watched his face contort with pleasure. How could he feel so good but be so bad for her? She didn't recognize herself anymore now at times, and she felt like the old Carli was gone. She was driven by her lust when she was with him, and she let out a strangled cry as he fucked her harder. He murmured dirty words to her, making her wetter as she heard them, and letting him slide in even easier. They didn't last too long before they came within seconds of each other, and he closed his eyes and hissed as she watched him during her own recovery from the scream she had let out. He took a deep breath and looked down at her, taking in every detail of her body with his burning eyes. She was still shaking, and he stroked her legs as they trembled under her hands. "You feel so good." His words were spoken in a soft murmur, and he lowered her legs and moved beside her. "How long are you here? How long do we have together?"

"A week probably. I suppose it depends on how long it takes me here." Carli said softly, trying to regain her composure. "I don't know that we should see each other too much though."

"Why not? This is right, Carli. We both feel it." Eric insisted, capturing her lips again as she moaned in both protest and pleasure. They both jumped at the doorbell, and he lifted his head and glanced at the clock. "Damn it. I made the mistake of mentioning to Pam that you're in town. Why wouldn't she rush right over and interrupt us?"

"What?" Carli asked, her eyes wide. "I can't see her like this."

"She can guess what we'd been doing, Car. I think that is a given." Eric gave her a pleased smile as he stood and pulled on some jeans and a tight tee.

"My clothes!" Carli hissed, and he ducked into the living room calling out that he would be just a minute to the door. "Fuck, shit, hell!" He stepped in and handed her the clothes, and she pulled them on hurriedly. She popped into the bathroom and fixed her sloppy hair as best she could, and cursed at the flushed face that screamed that she had just had sex. Eric was right about Pam guessing, but still. Carli sighed and went to the bedroom door, hearing more voices than Eric and Pam. She poked her head out, seeing a brunette standing close to Pam before she looked at Eric's tense face. He glanced at her, and she bit her lip as she stepped forward.

"Well, well. Don't we look nice and flushed?" Pam said, turning around and smiling knowingly at her. "It is good to see you, Carli."

"Yeah. You as well." Carli replied, seeing how the blue eyes focused on her just a moment too long with that flicker of sadness in them.

"This is my girlfriend Nikki." Pam presented the other women with a tight squeeze of her small hand, and Carli looked at the woman that she had heard with Eric that night over the phone. She was petite with dark brown hair and deep green eyes, and was beautiful. Carli imagined his hands stroking her full breasts and down her small waist, and she shuddered slightly. Nikki blushed slightly and tried to smile as she held out her free hand to Carli. Carli heard the moans in her mind, and she blinked as she managed a small hello.

"Good idea, Pam." Eric said, shooting a glare at his business partner. Nikki dropped her hand and looked awkwardly at her lover, and Pam rolled her eyes.

"I am sure she gets it. She was leaving, and it was not as though she has not done the same thing herself." Pam said, and Nikki looked down at the floor. She had dropped her hand the moment she saw it register on Carli's face that she knew, and she took a small breath. "You guys are back together, as it should be."

"No. Not together." Carli muttered, shaking her head.

"It smells like it to me." Pam said directly, and Carli blinked. "Just a fuck buddy while we are in town? Seems you have made quite a home back in Chicago."

Chicago. Carli never should have left, and she looked around the apartment as she began to feel dizzy. She stepped to the counter and grabbed her purse, and shot a look at Eric. She had dressed fully in the room, and she tried to think if she was remembering everything. "I have to get out of here." Carli pushed past Pam and Nikki, not looking at Eric as she hurried to the elevator. She heard his voice rise in anger as she pushed the button and she glanced that way to see him looking after her with pain filled eyes as he leaned out of the door. Carli stepped onto the elevator and pressed the close button over and over until it closed, and she closed her eyes as it descended. She practically ran through the lobby and out onto the street, taking a deep breath as the tears finally slid down her cheeks. Carli ducked her head and hurried the few blocks to her own apartment, locking the door behind her as she slammed it shut. She started to really cry then, knowing that she had just fucked Travis over badly. He didn't deserve any of this, and she hurried back to her room to take a shower and wash every trace of Eric off of her body. She was in there for a long time, and got out and pulled on a robe once she had dried herself off. Carli heard her phone beeping, and she took a deep breath. The tears were gone for the moment, and she felt weak and sick. She checked it, seeing calls and texts from Eric. Carli didn't answer them, and went back to hide under her covers. She heard Travis's ring and sighed, answering it to ease her guilt. He asked her about her work there, and talked about his own stuff that had been postponed due to a friend's illness, and she explained the hoarse voice by telling him she had a bit of a sore throat. He told her to take care of herself and that he missed her, ending the call by telling her how much he loved her. She responded in a hollow voice, and hung up as guilt overtook her. "Fuck!" Carli screamed into her pillow, giving up for the moment and just hiding in it. She finally moved enough to shut the ringer off of her phone and fall into a restless sleep.

Studio time was early the next day, and she dragged herself to Starbucks before taking a cab to the studio. She had only showered, and had skipped make up and pulled a hat over her hair. They went over the song and she watched him record his parts as she made small talk with the band and his girlfriend. She could still smile and pretend it was all okay. Carli went in to do her parts, relieved that she managed to pull it off despite her rough night. She was working on three songs, and they focused on that one for the day before calling it a wrap. Carli took a cab to a corner near her place, and glanced at the late afternoon sun as she ducked into an eatery for her favorite salad. She took it home with a hot tea, and ate on the couch as she stared blankly at the television. She fell onto the cushions after on her side and closed her eyes as she blissfully fell asleep and escaped her mental pain. She woke up to the sound of knocking at her door, and she blinked wearily as she opened her eyes. "What?" Carli called out weakly, and closed her eyes again.

"I need to talk to you, Carli." It was Eric's voice, and she could hear the urgency in it.

"No. I'm sleeping." Carli said, longing to go back to sleep so badly.

"Open the door. We need to talk about last night." Eric insisted, and she sat up slowly.

"Why?" Carli asked weakly, glancing down at the barely there cotton dress she had pulled in when she got home. It had been hot in her apartment and she had only thought about comfort. "Shit." She went back and pulled one of her loose tees over it, and walked to the door almost painfully. She opened it and looked out to see him practically pacing the hallway, and he stopped and pushed his way inside. "Hey!"

"You look awful, Carli." Eric informed her, and she raised one undone eyebrow.

"Thanks." Carli sat on the couch and sipped her water as he sat in the chair across from her. "What did you want?"

"You ran out on me last night, and didn't get back to me." Eric pointed out, and she yawned. "I see it was not due to a good night's sleep."

"It is always like a slap in the face with you, Eric. I already feel guilty being with you at all for so many reasons at this point, but then it seems like they always seem to come up again. I just want it to strop." Carli told him, rubbing her head as the pain set in her temples. "I want to go home and just be normal."

"You are still you there just as much as you are here." Eric told her, and she blinked painfully.

"We can just agree that this is a train wreck and move on. Please." Carli pleaded, and felt tears in her eyes. "Last night was a bitter reminder of that."

"I do not know why Pam chose to do that. I suppose she was rubbing in her own happiness, not thinking about…other aspects of it." Eric said, pausing to find the right words. "I told her as much after you left, and I have to wonder if those two even have a shot now. Pam said things that she should not have."

"You fucked her. She is beautiful and probably nice, and she spent the night with you. I can't take it anymore, Eric." Carli said, feeling the tears finally drip down her face. "I am going to go back and get rid of this place."

"I can come to Chicago. We can start over there." Eric suggested, and she stared at him as he got up and sat beside her on the couch. "I hate that we get so fucked up together here."

"You cannot move there." Carli told him darkly, and she tried to turn away from him.

"Pam can have this city. I will open there and we can be together, without everything that seems to happen here." Eric kept going as he turned her face to look at him by cupping her cheek. "I love you. I am tired of acting like I don't, or running away from the face that I do. I want to make this work and if that is how, then I will go." She looked at him with wide eyes, and he gently wiped the tears with his thumb. "You look so sad and I hate that I do this to you."

"It wasn't rape last night, Eric." Carli reminded him, and he let her look down and instead slid his hand up to massage her neck. The touch triggered a sensation inside of her that threatened to make her explode as she closed her eyes and leaned her head forward. "I was there like any willing adult." She started to have trouble breathing, and she bit her lip. Desire began to pump through her body and she longed to push it away so badly, but she focused on it instead.

"A very willing adult." Eric agreed in her ear, his voice low as it vibrated through her skin painfully. She whimpered and he nibbled on her ear.

"Stop." Carli whispered, feeling her resolve weaken and form into something else. "We can't keep doing this."

"You can go home and end things gently, and I can move out there. We can find a great place together, and everything will be fine. We can be happy." Eric spoke between nibbles and long sucks, and she tilted her face up as he moved his lips to the line of her jaw and then her sensitive neck. She took his free hand and slid it up her thigh, and he growled softly as he slid his fingers lightly over her soaked thong. "You are as wet as I am hard." Eric told her, moving the cloth aside and stroking her eagerly. She moaned and turned her head to meet his lips, and there was nothing gentle about it. Their tongues crashed together, and she cried out with the force of it. He pushed her back onto the cushions and she spread her legs as he pumped a long finger inside of her as he leaned down to kiss her again. She cried out against him as he expertly stroked her favorite spot inside of her, and she came within a few moments. She heard herself begging Eric to fuck her, and he told her to wrap her arms around his neck. She did and he lifted her by her ass and lifted her. They kissed hungrily as he walked them to the bedroom carefully, and dropped her onto the bed horizontally slowly. He reached down and lifted off her dress, and she blinked slowly up at him. She reached out and unbuttoned his jeans and he smiled seductively at her as she pressed her bruised lips together. She slid them down and he kicked them off and she pulled him down on the bed with her. He kissed her deeply and she felt him slide her into his lap with one hand as he cupped her bare breast with the other. She pressed against him and moved over his erection slowly and teasingly, and he stared at her and pinched her nipple harder as she grunted. She pushed him back on the bed and he gazed up at her with darkening eyes as she pressed his cock between his body and hers, sliding over it slowly as she tried to stimulate her clit. She whimpered and he gripped her hips as he watched her body.

"I want to cum again." Carli whispered, and he told her to move over his face. She complied and he licked her clit slowly before sucking it into his mouth. She moaned and felt him add a finger to wherever his tongue was not pleasing her, and soon she was riding his long tongue as he teased her clit with his thumb, and she cried out as she came against his mouth. He attached his lips to her and sucked, extending the orgasm, and she moaned loudly as she closed her eyes.

"On your knees, Carli. I think I need to fuck you now." Eric told her, and she moved into position as she took a deep breath. She felt him grip her hips and she lifted her ass as he slammed into her, making her cry out hoarsely. "You're so fucking sexy, Carli." Eric murmured, driving himself deeper into her. "I love you." She could not hold it off and she exploded again, weakly moaning as she shook with it, and she felt him thrust one last hard time before he grunted her name. "Fuck, Carli. You feel so good. Let me into your life, baby. Let me be the one that gets you all of the time." She heard something in his voice and she rested her head against her hands. "I can't go between having you and you being gone. I can't. I love you too much and I want things right."

"Eric." Carli murmured, and felt him push her down and lay against her. "I love you."

"Fuck you, Carli." They both heard the voice and the door slamming, and her head whipped around.

"Travis." Carli said in shock, realizing what he had just seen, as well as heard. "Fuck! Travis." She pushed Eric off of her and ran to the door after grabbing her tee, opening her front door and calling his name. He was gone, and she closed her door and slid to the floor. This was what she had worried about since meeting Eric. This was the part where her life went really wrong. "Oh, god. I really fucked up."

"It'll be okay, lover. I am here for you." Eric told her, dressed only in his jeans as he walked over to her and held out his hand.

"Don't you get it? Everything I know might be gone now. That was not supposed to…..happen." Carli began to cry, knowing he had come out of concern for her. He instead had walked into her acting like a complete whore with another man as she told him that she loved him. "I am so scared, Eric." He knelt down and took her into his arms, and she shoved him away. "Get out. Please go."

"You should not be alone." Eric told her, his eyes full of pain as he stared at her. He didn't want to lose her.

"I need to be." Carli said, staring at the floor as tears slid down her cheeks. He stood silently for several minutes and she finally looked up into his pleading blue eyes. "You have fucked up my life, Eric. Just go."

"I love you, Carli." Eric muttered as he walked out, and she fell down onto the floor and curled up. At some point, she tried to call Travis to talk. He would not answer other than by text to tell her not to come back to Chicago for awhile and that they were through. She could practically read his hurt in the words. Jimmy called the next day to discuss the situation, and she only cried as she babbled. He was always honest and he told her how much this could affect everything, and two days later he called to say that Travis had decided to take a long time offer with another band in a very tense voice. He was not happy at all, and he discussed who to ask to replace him slowly and painfully. Their album was near ready to be released and he didn't see the point in it at this time. Carli backed out of the project she had been on due to personal reasons, and just slept and stared at the wall in her bed. Eric tried to contact her, but she ignored him. She dreamed of Ryan and that he was there to guide her, and she felt so alone again after she woke up alone. She didn't go back to Chicago. It would have hurt too much knowing the pain she had caused. After a few weeks, she finally managed to leave to go to Starbucks for a few hours, or just walking. She didn't write and refused to listen to their music at all. She knew that it was over. Jimmy confirmed this in a phone call two months after Travis's discovery, saying that they all had opportunities there in Chicago. She sobbed when she hung up, feeling like she had nothing or nobody.

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Three months later

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Carli was getting around town a lot more now, and had some hope for the future. She had done a lot of soul searching and had found a band to consider, but it was on hold for now. She had spoken to Travis to apologize, and he had grudgingly accepted through her tears and told her that he needed time before they tried to be friends. She lived one day at a time and grew to love New York again, since the frenzy of the break up had calmed down and fans seemed to move on, more or less. She was leaving a store one day and glanced to her right to see a familiar figure, and her heart stopped beating for a moment. She glanced down, hoping she had not been seen, but she heard his voice. It had haunted her this whole time. "Carli?" Eric stepped up to her, and she held the pale yellow bag with clenched hands as she tried to smile at him. "I…it has been forever. How are you?" His eyes flickered over the name of the store, and he glanced at the window with painfully curious eyes. "How are you?"

"I'm alive." Carli said, and blinked away the tears in her eyes. "I am learning to go on after everything."

"I read about the band and everything. I am really sorry." Eric told her, tilting her chin to look into her eyes as she let the teats slide down her cheeks.

"Once Travis left, I knew it was over." Carli replied, and tried to smile. His eyes deepened as he stroked her cheek, and he let his gaze slide down her body. They rested on her stomach, which was noticeably growing and his eyes tried to understand. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing passed between her lips.

"I am sure that he is thrilled." Eric said hesitantly, and she laughed without humor.

"He never trusted me enough to not be very careful. It isn't safe to sleep with whores unprotected." Carli said sarcastically, and he stared at her.

"You were never a whore." Eric assured her, and she tried to look down. "I…do we need to talk?" He was trying so hard to process her appearance, the bag of baby stuff in her hands, and the reality of the timing. "Carli…..is it mine?"

Carli closed her eyes and felt the hot tears sliding down her cheeks, and he pulled her aside by the hand as another customer moved to enter. "I…."

"I am going to take you somewhere to eat and we are going to talk." Eric told her, and she realized that she could not keep running. She nodded slowly and they went to her favorite eatery and they talked for a long time. Eric learned that he was going to be a father to a little girl in a few short months that day, and the many emotions that his eyes showed made her smile and cry again. He looked so happy, yet so angry that she had not told him. She explained to him that she was dealing with the band splitting up, as well as where to go now, and the prospect of a surprise pregnancy. She had tried to tell herself that she could do it on her own, but the look in his eyes told her that she didn't need to. She felt him take her hand and hold it gently as she looked at him, and she still saw the love for her in his eyes. They left that day, and glanced at each other during an awkward moment. "Can we…..try and see each other? I want to see the rest of this through with you and I want to know you again." He touched her stomach gently and wonder shone in his eyes. "I am going to be a dad." Carli felt him lean down to kiss her, and she gasped as she felt the tingle in her own lips as they touched.

"I would like to know you again." Carli said, and their eyes met and locked. They kissed again and he slid one hand around her back as he kept the other firmly on her stomach. She realized something in that moment. She realized that there just might be a little hope out there for her, her daughter, and for Eric. There might be a chance they could really be something, and Carli smiled against his lips.

THE END

At last the abomination is over. I liked this story in the beginning, but somewhere along the way it got all crazy and very gratuitous to me. I felt it deserved some sort of ending though. I thank those few readers that actually got through it for sticking with me.


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